In his final “fuck all of you, supposed colleagues” to the Democratic party, Very Serious About The Deficits blogger-hating corporobot Evan Bayh has decided not to run again, just like we knew he would, EXCLUSIVE, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE, &c… He is doing this because why? Because he had a 20-point cushion in polls and was going to save the Senate for Democrats, which would have been good for the Democrats, and, well, can’t have that. Still: HIP HIP HOORAY! EVAN BAYH IS LEAVING US AT LONG LAST! Keep fukkin that chicken baby. [ABC News]
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Authors
Kaia Mursi (45)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (800)
Jim Newell (5431)
Wonkette Jr. (628)
Liz Colville (96)
Blair Burke (171)
Garrett Quinn (13)
Ken Layne (6695)
Matt Langer (40)
Arielle Fleisher (385)
{ 49 comments }
He has a 20 point lead and tens of millions in the bank. So … live boy or dead girl?
N.B. Democrats have until Friday to put up a new candidate. (Almost certainly Martha Coakley)
Even leaving, he’s a douche. Why is he a Demrat? Oh yeah, daddy.
Good idea!
Despite being a moderate in the NY legislature, Gillibrand has been a reliable soldier for Obama/Reid in the Senate. Ford is campaigning as an “independent voice” to represent NY, but the LAST thing NY Dems want is another “independent” in the Dem caucus.
In Indiana it’d at least be a lateral move…
Well, we’ll just have to take our marbles and go home.
Don’t tase him, Hitler, he’s fucking that chicken? With hamsterdance on the side?
Two words: Puss-see. What’s the matter, Evan? Don’t want to actually WORK for re-election? Or you have a Fox gig lined up to be the new blander/ineffectual/warm body Colmes?
Also Mahir.
How about all carpetbagger election. Alan Keyes vs Harold Ford.
Larry Bird offered him a cush job at his dealership in Martinsville!
Uh-oh. Somebody got pictures of the Blue Cross semi-trucks loaded with Krugerrands driving up to the back of Bayh’s house. The problem wasn’t the Krugerrands, of course. It’s just that the people off-loading weren’t Teamsters.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Thanks for the Journalism, Wonkette. It’s makin me hot. You can come over now and get your Nobel Prize. We’ll send pictures to Arianna Huffington. She likes that stuff.
First order of business in the new GOP controlled senate? “Now…let’s see about the birth certificate”.
Remember that time Evan voted against the will of the people and with the republican party? That was “awesome.”
Is there anybody in Indiana with the first name “Birch?” Run him for Senate.
Indiana deserves a random “Paul”. …. like McNalley Paul.
[re=512912]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Was there a time when he didn’t do that?
(And by time, I mean a single instance.)
Keep fukkin that chicken baby.
With a heaping side of ESAD, Evan!
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[re=512908]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Don’t do that. They’ll just run them at the top of the page with 34 pt type: WONKETT MASSACRES AND EATS ENTRAILS OF MSM IN BAYH SCOOP and then HuffPo will take TWO hours to load instead of one while they update their blogs about Snooki’s nude VD card. Surely the Enquirer is interested?
I heard someone had to wake Harry Reid up to tell him the news. He rushed to the Senate with bed-head and commando-style without his magical boxers.
[re=512908]Jukesgrrl[/re]: We’re OK with the pics just as long as your nickname isn’t Snooki.
Harold lands in Indianapolis and immediately gets on a helicopter for his tour of Indiana. An hour later he sees a real estate agent, buys a house, goes to the local Merrill Lynch office and signs on as an overpaid greeter and voila! The whole thing can be settled by sunset. There may even be time for a pedicure.
I was wondering how long Kevin Kline could keep up his Dave schtick before someone realized it was him.
Does this mean a Fish Called Wanda sequel is finally in the works?
Birch is still alive, isn’t he? He’s like 90, but I think he’d still be a better senator than his dickweed son. Someone assemble a phalanx of doctors and get him on his feet and elected.
Since Indiana let Bob Knight go,who cares about Indiana?
OT: In further proof that the storm of stupidity is gathering momentum and shall crush us all, it seems Michael “Bojangles” Steele will meet with 50 giant Teabaggers on Tuesday.
If that won’t be a hoot, well, then I just don’t know what.
Harold Ford really should run for senator from Indiana. It makes more sense, since Indiana borders Tennessee, if you don’t count Kentucky. Which I don’t.
Also: who’s doing odds on (a) dead girl, (b) live boy, (c) cash-in, or (d) primarying Hussein in ’12?
I’ve got $100 on (e) all of the above.
Bobby Knight should throw a chair at him. Harlan Sanders-a Hoosier not a Kentuckian-should beat him off the head with original recipe drumsticks.* Papa Joe Jackson should give him a Papa Joe beatdown.**
* A vain attempt to legitimize the fukkin the chicken reference.
** The Jacksons were from Gary which is more Illinois than Indiana-lotsa coloreds.
(That’s it, not to many notables from Indy)
Wait, Larry Bird, Jane Pauley, also.
That’s all I got but Bayh DOES suck.
[re=512918]rottenart[/re]: Ah yes, thank god us Libtards have an internet answer for Rupert Murdoch. A front page with daily columns rippin Hopey, a media page touting FoxNews ratings, and entertainment page made up of NSFW celebrity T & A and crotch shot pictures. Its almost like having Evan Bayh as a democrat.
[re=512896]rafflesinc[/re]: Like I said, a dead girl at Fredo’s Casino. Al Neri is covering the body with dry lime as we speak.
[re=512904]Prommie[/re]: In keeping with our arcane reference-athon, take that:
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Dq9xOrW6GM4/Sot35jEUXrI/AAAAAAAAD98/eaGc6An0uzE/s400/circus+peanuts.JPG
[re=512918]rottenart[/re]:
Oh god, I just took a looky and you guys are so right. ….but it’s more like 120 pt font. I’m surprised she didn’t add “AND OBAMA’S HOPE IS CRUSHED ALSO PALIN PALIN PALIN”
So Congress is too partisan and turning it over to (R)s will make it better? Jackass.
[re=512931]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Not many notables from Indy? Someone must be forgetting Letterman.
By the way, I’ve read his contract with CBS is up soon, and he’s already shown more balls in taking on Republican douches than any Democratic Senator who doesn’t also have history in late night TV.
[re=512951]JMP[/re]: I stand corrected, I’m a huuuge Letterman fan though he loses cool points for being a graduate of Ball State. HaHaHaHa, Ball!?!?
[re=512955]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Ball? That’s a plus in my book. The minus is, of course, I don’t live in Indiana. Well, actually, that’s a plus, too; it’s only a minus when it comes to whether I can vote in this election or not.
[re=512955]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Can’t haz teabaggers w/o a Ball State.
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Allow me to be the first to point out that the Democrats’ chances of getting a “health care reform bill” passed are about as good as the odds on a Deptart of Biology Chairperson surviving an faculty meeting at the University of Alabama . . . .
On a related point: Why doesn’t Barak “Jimmy Carter” Obama sign up for Habitat for Humanity now, and avoid having to rush through the application at the end of 2012?
[re=512938]thesheriffisnear[/re]: When I look at the picture, I can taste them, yuchh.
Evan Bayh is so fucking gangsta.
YEAH HE AND DUB THEY DIPPIN AGAIN.
Screw it, since celebrity is the order of the day, I’m backing John Mellencamp for Senator. He’s more socially liberal than Bayh, far less of a douchebag and could write his own theme song.
Unless he wants to be governor again(which would be really, really stupid) I’m guessing Evan will not take up residence in Indiana again.
And yes, Birch is still around, and he is far more liberal and less dickish than his chickenshit son. At this point, I really hope Indiana elects another Republican – at least then liberals would start to realize they never had a supermajority in the Senate, just a bunch of hacks with D’s by their names filling seats 45-60.
[re=513143]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Yeah, little pink houses for you and me.
Ow, ow, ow, I just tased myself to see if I knew anything. Nope!
Maybe Cheney will go away now?
[re=512987]Neilist[/re]: Likewise, Toad Palin can start implementing his First Dude agenda, like homescoling kids or snow machines in every garage. You know, just so he could get a little jump off the line.
[re=512918]rottenart[/re]: Yes, I suppose I should try the Enquirer with the sexy pix of me “presenting” my Nobel Prize to Wonkette (even though I think I heard one editor grouse that he’d rather have a MacArthur genius grant). The tabs might actually pay, as opposed to that minx Arianna, who may be a hobo now that Greece is broke. And, no, I am not Snooki, even though I did, indeed, get my name Jukesgrrl at the Jersey Shore. I have SOME standards — my Situations are all smarter than driftwood and better looking than a half-eaten pizza.
Meanwhile in Indiana, the pig sacrifice has begun, since no virgins can be found. The high lord of the insurance porkers hath no more with us. We are undone, or at least underdone. His lord’s wife, the one of the bouncy boobies, hath the saggy tittys of shame thrust upon her. And we look now fondly upon the liberality of grandpappy Bayh, he who supped and fondled blondes with the great hoary headed Massachusetts liberals, and think what hath we wrot. Woe to us.
So wheres my damn tax cut now?
I used to party on weekends with friends in Turkey Run, Indiana.
Turkey. Run.
Get it?
Oh, never mind.
How much will anyone bet me he doesn’t go back to Indy?
[re=513224]Beanball[/re]: Somewhere near Gnaw Bone?
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