Your Wonkette has it on very good authority (a random tip from a random tipster) that the guy who was maybe going to run for president before pussing out the last time around, the lamest of President Obama’s would-be vice presidential picks, Indiana’s Senator Evan Bayh, is going to announce his retirement today. Really!
Subject: BIG tip
From: [redacted]@gmail.com
to: tips@wonkette.comSenator Evan Bayh will announce his retirement today.
BAM. Journalism!
{ 68 comments }
I smell cha-CHING!
Ever notice we elect so many offspring, but the good genes hardly ever get passed along?
Why not? He already done what he needed to impede HC Reform.
“I would like to spend more time in the revolving door of lawmaking and lobbying. I’ve played the whore long enough; it’s time to play my pimp hand. Goblessamerica.”
Let me guess, he wants to spend more time with his family.
(Rehab)
But who’s going to keep making America fat by continuing to subsidize corn farmers now?
Oh wait, Ben Nelson hasn’t retired.
That is a lovely dildo-cozy! Looks like something my mom would make to sell at the church craft and bake sale. God – she was always embarassing me!
Bayh pretty much permanently screwed himself in the Democratic Party by co-sponsoring the Iraq War Resolution (note to Obama: Bipartisanship sure is awesome, isn’t it?).
I heard former Sen. Dan “Clinton Is Bombing Al Qaeda Because of This Lewinsky Thing” Coats was considering a run for his old senate seat.
A Time Capsule of Delicious Irony Awaits You Here:
http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/1998/08/20/strike.react/
Pussy.
Governor Patterson’s gay airport bathroom lover revealed!
Shouldn’t that knitted corn thingy have the green raincoat on the ‘head’ of the corn?
Hey hey hey, bye Bayh.
[re=512797]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Yeah more time with his wife, fighting for Americans to pay the highest healthcare costs in the world.
MSNBC is now reporting it. Scooped by Wonkette.
Bayh is from Shirkieville, IN. I drove through there on Saturday on my way to Terra Haute to see the Drake Bulldogs get their ass kicked by Indiana State. That entire area has GOT to be a ring of hell. I have never seen so many occupied houses with no siding and with boarded up windows.
That’s Hoosier, rhymes with loser. Kinda. Work with me people
How will we be able to tell if he’s retired or not?
If my name was Birch Evans Bayh, and even if they just called me “Evan”, I would keep a very low profile and certainly not run for public office.
BAM. Journalism!
Or, in music, the folk process.
Good! One less “Democratic” weak sister! I’d rather have a full-blooded Repug. Flaming Asshole than this simpering dick. Nothing more depressing than finding out you’ve got some big dumb cunt like him “on your side”.
Filing deadline for the primary is this Friday.
Way to finish your career by fucking the dems one last time, asshole.
O.K., there was a certain amount of dickishness there but this is Indiana, home of Dan Quayle, and there is a serious risk that a raving right wing nutcase could win the seat.
This is not good news.
After my last (band’s) tour of duty in the Midwest, I have to say:
FUCK ALL Y’ALL IN DRIVERS. Worst. Anywhere. Boring fucking cornhole of a state. Also, creepy wind farm just South of Chicago about an hour.
[re=512821]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: Solution: have Harold Ford run there too.
[re=512804]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Wow, the irony IS delicious! And less filling!
It’s a perfect twinning to the comments from the peace prize article about how Clinton is responsible for 9/11 happening. I need to bookmark that baby so I can pull it out every time someone makes that argument.
[re=512813]pondscum[/re]: By “occupied”, I think you mean “occupied by meth labs”, though.
What’s the “redacted” portion? evanbayh@gmail.com?
Wow! Evan Bayh retires just FOUR DAYS before the filing deadline for potential Democratic candidates! With such a potent “Fuck you!” to the Democrats, the Republicans are really going to miss this guy! I bet the Republicans manage to hold this seat!
Wait… Bayh was a Democrat? Who knew!
Gah, I just got this email from work…
***
My dad is on the list for a heart transplant, and my family is having a raffle in an attempt to offset some of the cost. Suggested donation per ticket is $1, and the prizes are as follows:
1) One week at Branson’s Westgate Resort (worth $800)
2) Hand made quilt (worth $250)
3) Shooting Star Casino package (worth $125)
***
Thanks to spineless people like you Mr. Bayh our health care is now supplemented with the raffle option.
GAH!!!!!!!
Sara K. Smith, if the admittedly cute cornstalk dildo/butt plug with facial features is representative of what you were knitting while you were nesting, instead of more appropriate teeny tiny hats and booties, u were doing it wrong.
Poor Baby K. It is both a blessing and a curse that his mother is Wonkette-twisted. Much more the former than the latter, but he won’t realize that until his 20s. As it should be.
I sure hope the corn syrup lobby can find a toady who’s sufficiently sniveling who can replace Bayh.
[re=512839]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Oooh, let’s spin this!
It’s a classic example of the entrepreneurial spirit we need more of in America these days, people coming together through hard work to provide for themselves instead of asking for government assistance. If only more people were like this!
(I am thinking right now of that museum of rusting farm equipment that RedState featured in comparison to the Smithsonian, the name of which I can’t remember at the moment)
[re=512839]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That’s how we do it in my neck of the woods, too. Once a week there’s a story in the local paper about a chili feed/silent auction/raffle/bingo tournament to raise money for the sick kid/unemployed cancer patient/etc etc that can’t afford insurance/insurance co won’t pay for procedure. USA! USA!
he was last heard muttering “sauve qui peut” as he slinked out the back way.
[re=512845]slappypaddy[/re]: I’m pretty sure that’s not French for “so long, motherfuckers!”, which is actually what he said.
[re=512841]Katydid[/re]: I can just imagine the kid in a few years, after learning to read, with Mommy working from home at her computer but not letting him see anything she does.
Wow so he actually did it. GJ WONKETTE
Who’s doing what now? No buttseks? Wake me up when there is buttseks.
[re=512839]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Don’t these people have an extra kidney and some plasma they could sell?
[re=512842]Larry McAwful[/re]: As long as they are a “Democrat”
[re=512844]Buzz Feedback[/re]: In rural Missouri C-stores there was always a change jar at the cash register with a pitiful picture of some local in need of money for an operation or some such thing. I would always deposit my change even though I suspected the money was going to some local’s meth habit, mid-Missouri being the meth capital of the world. Now, I’m pretty certain the money was going to a needy uninsured person. Thanks Evan.
Didn’t John Edwards retire the trophy for worst would-be veep picks?
[re=512824]Carrie_Okie[/re]: I saw that wind farm. huge and they were setting up more of them.
I don’t know, I was just hoping he would make another one of them Transformers movies.
Bayh may actually be a liberal by Indiana standards.
Here’s what former Sen. [re=512804]Dan “Clinton Is Bombing Al Qaeda Because of This Lewinsky Thing” Coats[/re] had to say about challenging Sen. Bayh last week…
“[Coats] says he feels federal spending in Washington is out of control right now, that he thinks the democrats’ planned overhaul of health care is wrong, and he believes [b]Senator Bayh is not resisting either of those things[/b]”
http://www.indianasnewscenter.com/news/local/84004092.html
The article doesn’t mention if he said that with a straight face or not, but given his track record, he probably did.
[re=512844]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Don’t forget the benefit shows for musicians who get sick. Like the $1074 bucks from the door is gonna cover anybody’s cancer treatment.
[re=512860]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: If he did, it was only for the Democrats.
[re=512859]thesheriffisnear[/re]: And yet, for some reason, Missouri has gone Republican in the last 3 presidential elections. Hmm, that’s odd.
He gets $125 haircuts!!
[re=512860]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Aaron Burr takes offense to that and will meet you at dawn.
[re=512860]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Ah, that trophy was retired long before that; until we have another VP kill a Cabinet official, then run off and try and start an armed rebellion, even Lieberman and Cheney (whose victim was a nobody who survived) will look good by comparison.
[re=512797]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I think he accidently killed a hooker in the casino Fredo managed. The truth will out.
Well, I guess I’ll have to say it: Wonkette WINS THE MORNING!
[re=512863]BarackMyWorld[/re]: After your citations of the Coats quotes I am gladder than I was before that the Colts got beat in the Super Bowl. Hoosiers, rhymes with losers.
[re=512878]V572625694[/re]: Beating the MSM is like kicking a cripple.
[re=512807]WhatTheHeck[/re]: No, the staring and smiling is all part of the package. Sen Bayh will be there, too, to sit in rapt attention with the same expression on his face. Sweet dreams!
[re=512860]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: The poor mans John Edwards.
[re=512864]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: You have to look at this from the glass is half full perspective. Sure the donations probably aren’t large enough for little Jimmy to get that life saving operation, but after his parents have maxed out every credit card and mortgaged the house fighting the insurance company, that money comes in handy paying for the funeral. U-S-A
After a 10 minute google search, Susan, “Bayh and Sell”, Bayh, Evan’s wife, seems to have an uncanny ability to make millions buying and selling stock options in WellPoint and Etrade, whose boards she sits on. Its almost like she had inside information or somebody in the senate working for her.
[re=512828]Mad Brahms[/re]: More irony…
These two things happened to Bill Clinton on September 21, 1998.
He gave this speech about terrorism:
http://clinton4.nara.gov/textonly/WH/Work/092198.html
It was only covered by Headline News.
Meanwhile, the House Judiciary Committee released the Lewinsky Testimony video to the news outlets via a live feed, which they broadcast uninterrupted as they received it AT THE EXACT SAME TIME the president was talking to the rest of the world about the threat posed by Osama bin Laden.
http://www.cnn.com/ALLPOLITICS/stories/1998/09/21/tape.asithappens/
Extinction of the DINOs.
[re=512872]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Can’t tell. I would have guessed SuperCuts &8.95. Max.
[re=512889]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Oh come on. You couldn’t have expected us to think about TWO tremendously important things AT THE SAME TIME! I mean… LEWINSKY TESTIMONY! Did Bubba schlupp Bin Laden with a cigar? I don’t think so. Priorities…
[re=512857]Gopherit[/re]: Good idea. Maybe Blanche Lincoln could move to Indiana. She might have better luck there. Or Ben Nelson, maybe.
Wonketeers are getting far too sophisticated for their own good — 60 comments in and not one Bye Bayh joke! I am concerned for the future of silliness in America and may have to sponsor a seminar (maybe I’ll just meditate until the toxic urge passes).
As contemplated by BarackMyWorld, Bayh was considered a slick liberal by most Hoosiers, who disown the northwest corner of the state where Bayh is popular and where African Americans somehow survived the excesses of the Ku Klux Klan, which was so popular in Indiana that more than half of the state Assembly consisted of Klan members in the 1920′s, and Klansman Ed Jackson became governor. I guess they named him Birch because it would have been too weird to name him Klux.
[re=512889]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Thanks for reminding me of that.
~
[re=512944]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: “60 comments in and not one Bye Bayh joke!”
Ahem. —–> [re=512808]Sparky McGruff[/re]. #11, my friend.
[re=512813]pondscum[/re]: Little pink meth lab, for you and me.
‘Cause they told Ev when he was younger
Said boy, you’re gonna be president
But just like everything else
Those old crazy dreams
Just kinda came and went
Retirement? Pshaw! Not if an e:mailer to TalkingPointsMemo is proven correct. S/he speculates Bayh is planning to do to Obama, from the Falangist, what Ted Kennedy did to Carter, from the Republican. (Work with me. I’m using Spanish Civil War terminology.) If that happens, we’ll need to import a shit-tonne of animal tranqs to sedate all the PUMAE.
Never forget … things can actually get worse.
And probably will.
[re=512794]ManchuCandidate[/re]: NAILED IT!
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