Did you like voting for Vice President Dan Quayle the two times that you did that? Do you stare longingly at your framed, gold-bordered “QUAYLE ’00″ sign, one of only four such signs that wasn’t trashed and buried, in shame, by mid-1999? Do you masturbate to freaking Dan Quayle? Well guess what, now he’s got some son or another out in Arizona who’s running for wacky old John Shadegg’s seat: “[Ben] Quayle, a lawyer and principal at a local venture capital firm, has lived in the Phoenix area for about four years.” Hey, that’s five more years than John McCain had when his second wife’s father rented him that Arizona congressional seat he owned. Ben Quayle is the new John McCain! All hail Ben Quayle! Son of… (who was it again?)… son of Dan Quayle! [Ben Smith]
Political Wire
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Authors
Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 61 comments }
I knew you all would be so excited about this post.
As long as he promises to continue his father’s tradition of railing against fictional women for being uppity bitches and thinking they have rights and stuff, I’ll be happy. For the laughs.
Speaking of retarded….
South Carolina and Oklahoma have been leading the stupidest state in the country contest for a while now, and Utah just made a strong come-from-behind rally. Arizona had to do SOMETHING.
[re=512370]Jim Newell[/re]:
Hey, it’s like an old-time strip club where you have to have an act to keep the cops out, right? Now you don’t have to do another one like this for a month!
[re=512370]Jim Newell[/re]: Sometimes the stupidity is so stunning it takes a while to respond.
[re=512380]Tommmcatt[/re]: I just like to make fun of John McCain because I hate him.
MEGABLOCKBUSTERFUCKER POSTS FROM HERE ON OUT. (God I really should have slept last night!)
Meh. Shadegg, Quayle egg. Either way the yolk’s on Arizona.
[re=512370]Jim Newell[/re]: Yes! I was born in the town where Dan-o went to high school. It also takes me back to simpler times when Vice-Presidents were just gaffe-prone doofuses, not literal baby-eating monsters.
I believe those times can come again!
Ah…yes, another aspiring conservative leader, pulling themselves up by their father’s bootstraps
[re=512370]Jim Newell[/re]: The sad thing about Quayle is that, as dumb as he was, he was still smarter than the man who beat him for the Republican nomination in 2000; and all his stupidity has been pretty much overshadowed and therefore forgotten.
But what Arizona’s women voters want to know is, is he good-looking?
Vince Vaughn and the other guy posed as venture capitalists in Wedding Crashers.
Do I smell a celebrity endorsement?
Arizonae
I’m sure all will return to normal once Joe Arpaio demands to see his birth certificate.
Here is a candidate who understands the value of bondage between a parent and child.
Potatoe head.
[re=512396]boyhowdy[/re]: and more importantly, does he own a truck?
Tater Tot.
With Ben growing up with a father Dan, what could possibly go wrong?
You take the [United Negro College Fund] model that what a waste it is to lose one’s mind or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
–DQ, addressing the United Negro College Fund, whose slogan is A mind is a terrible thing to waste
Also too potatoe.
That is all.
OK, I can’t resist. More from the great thinker:
The holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history.… No, not our nation’s, but in World War II. I mean, we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century, but in this century’s history.
I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future
His “thoughts” on sending humans to Mars: Mars is essentially in the same orbit [as Earth]….Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe.
[re=512409]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Even as we speak, some underling at AZhole Venture Capital has been dispatched to buy an old shitkicker truck for Quayle to ride around in. ONe of US! One of us!1!
Mediocracy abhors a vacuum.
I think we found a man for Meghan Mc Cain.
Begin the next aristocracy!
I’d say something mean, but I guess there’s a chance Ben Quayle is not an idiot, simpleton, half-wit, puddinghead, moran, feebleminded or cretin. But then again, he kept his last name.
[re=512414]ella[/re]: Lil’ Spuddy
No, I cant support him.
The real tea bag candidate is JD the DJ.
[re=512425]SayItWithWookies[/re]: No chance.
this is ARIZONA we are talkin’ ’bout here.
Red, ruby red state, and the foreclosure and Meth capital
of the great SW.
OT but if you’re a FBooker, Tinfoil Poodle needs some love:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Can-this-poodle-wearing-a-tinfoil-hat-get-more-fans-than-Glenn-Beck/334162806080?v=wall
[re=512422]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: It could be a modern version of the Julie Nixon – David Eisenhower pairing, except with a whole lot more stupid.
All hail Ben Smith, son of . . . John Smith & Pocahontas?
He won’t be the last in a long line of crazies which include Evan “fuck MLK day/pickaninny” Meecham, Joe “die wetback!” Arpaio, and Sam “911 is for directions” Campana, etc.
One of the Illinois GOP candidates for governor (maybe Brady, not sure) touts his ties to Quayle as a staffer as evidence he’s a “true conservative.” Now this. It’s like watching the beginning of Soviet nostalgia in Russia – within a small circle, anything remotely tied to Reaganomics is gold.
I even heard some old coot this morning wishing they had been eligible to get some “government cheese” in the 1980s. My wife and I almost feel out of our chairs laughing at that one, remembering the blocks of processed nightmares both our families had wound up getting for various reasons.
[re=512429]sati demise[/re]: Arizona’s not really all that red; it probably would have gone for Obama in 2008 if the Reps didn’t have a native running, and as it is McCain barely won it.
I never understood why Dan Quayle was considered so good-looking. Maybe I am a lesbian or homosexual. Ew, I disgust myself.
[re=512370]Jim Newell[/re]: I think it has to do with mass dementia. We are all Reagan now. Like, they had some sort of dippy Motivation Speaker seminar, a dog-and-pony show which traveled through the region, and it featured not only Dohbya but Ghoulyani! What do these two losers have to tell us about Success and Achievement? They’re hoping we forgot already and just remembered they were supposed to be famous sometime.
One of my favorite Little Danny stories was when he visited an elementary school. (Political morans love to hang around grade school ‘cuz they think they look smart – remember where Dohbya was when he went into a coma on 9/11?) And after it was over, one kid says, “He’s on the same level I am, and I’m in fifth grade.”
Greatest political commentary of the age.
The said thing is that by today’s Republican standards, Dan Quayle looks like an intelligent, reasonable conservative politician.
And that hair!
So the stories about Dan Quayle knocking up Murphy Brown were true!
[re=512449]JMP[/re]: You are thinking of Tucson.
An abnormal bubble of sanity
in the desert.
[re=512492]sati demise[/re]: And we have our share of fucking retarded teabaggers here in Tucson, too. Fortunately, we have a lot of browns who hate being profiled and searched at the Border Patrol’s whim because they live within 100 miles of the border….that’s how we avoid crazy shit like Shaddegg, Quayle, Jake Flake, or Trent Franks. Unfortunately, the stupid fuckers in Phoenix will probably replace Walnuts with fucking JD Hayworth. Not only is he a teabagger, but he sucks 50 IQ points from anyone within 20 miles of him.
Palin/Quayle 2012 representing the know nothing party.
[re=512425]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I took a genetics class once, and one thing I remember is that offspring tend to be, generally, closer to the mean. So if Benny’s parents have room-temperature IQ’s, his is likely to be a good deal closer to 100.
But that is only the roll of the dice–you never know, and that is why people always hope the race horse colts will be even faster, and so on. Er, wait–that analogy is correct, but it sucks.
1. Rare photo of Ben [with brother Tucker, sister Corrine & Cruella & Dan]. (Hint: which one is not like the others?) http://tinyurl.com/ya6dbfy
2. Benjamin E. Quayle bio: What about those 2 missing years, huh, punk? Spent in an ashram? http://www.linkedin.com/pub/ben-quayle/5/422/A34
I read “Do you masturbate to freaking Dan Quayle?” as “Do you masturbate to *streaking* Dan Quayle.” And, although the answer to the actual question is a resounding “christ, no!” the visual suggested by my misreading is strangely titillating.
Excluding what’s in the news accounts of Dan’s gushing announcement about Ben’s [alleged] candidacy, there zippo on Google about Ben (or Benjamin E., as it were). No clubs, no organizations, no church, no social functions, no sweetie, no politics, no uttered words, no arrest reports, no bowling league, etc.
However:
1. On-line white pages gives this as a home address for a certain Ben Quayle: 3825 E Camelback Rd, Unit 206, Phoenix, AZ 85018-2641
2. But then there is this curious real estate transaction made in the falling Phoenix housing market: a 1958, three bedroom rancher in the Marion Estates II subdivision, 4026 E. St Joseph Way, Phoenix AZ 85018. Purchased by Benjamin E. Quayle on December 8, 2009 for $825,000. Previously sold for $625,000 on November 13, 2006.
http://phoenix.blockshopper.com/property/17153021/4026_e_st_joseph/
If he speaks clearly, he’ll be a huge disappointment.
A venture capitalist … just like the ones that drove the 80-year-old company I worked for into bankruptcy. That makes perfect sense! Surely we have so many of them in Arizona that they deserve their own representative in Congress. Now he can be in DC to vote “NO” on extending my unemployment benefits. And he can vote “NO” on education funding, so Arizonans will continue to be stupid and qualified only to be … venture capitalists.
[re=512557]S.Luggo[/re]: Good research! Mr. and Mrs. Graham made a $200,000 PROFIT on a mediocre-looking home they had only owned for THREE YEARS?? In Arizona?! Did he run over their kid with his car, or something? Wow, Quayle certainly spends money like a Congressman.
[re=512574]Jukesgrrl[/re]: that was our real estate bubble..more like a giant lava dome.
AZ and Nevada had the highest growth the past ten years with no jobs other than building or flipping houses.
It worked for a while. Now its foreclosure city.
HAHA, the Quayles bought a crappy old house at a height of the market (2007) price! In 2009?
they are idiots.
[re=512392]SmutBoffin[/re]: I’m a Hoosier too and we were always proud of Danny Boy…he was a silver spoon fed, elitist, third generation, Repig moran before George Bush made it cool! (not surprising his evil spawn offspring is a ‘venture capitalist’ Repig…that’s what ALL of these trust fund douchebags do when they can’t get a REAL job!)
I thought that was Pat Sajack from Wheel of Fortune, running for office. Well that might be better than another Quyale.
America really is tired of being run by the elites. Can’t wait to hear the debates between Quayle and Palin for the nomination next year.
[re=512574]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Let’s not get all hasty and Madoff-conspiratorial, please. The $200,000 premium which Ben Q. paid over the 1958 Phoenix, 2900 sq. ft. adobe-style desert ranchhome’s $625,000 November 13, 2006 (peak?) selling price could be due to, something like, oh, gosh, a farm for rare tarantulas or a tropical Guatemalan bird sanctuary the owners put in the backyard, or some such or maybe a 40 person suana. I’m certain there’s a reasonable explanation.
If I were an investigative reporter (which I ain’t), I might look at who are Ben Q.’s future campaign contributors, just for the fun of it.
[re=512578]sati demise[/re]: “HAHA, the Quayles bought a crappy old house at a height of the market (2007) price! In 2009?
they are idiots.”
Not “Qualyes”, just Quayle, namely Ben (unmarried). And never accuse a guy listed as a founder of “a firm [Tynwald Capital] specializing in the acquisition and nurturing of small business” of being an idiot. Something else perhaps.
Goe Quayle!!!! Quayle/Quayle 2012!!1!
[re=512621]AddHomonym[/re]: Hail Satan!
Ben Tapu׳ax Adamae
The Dan Quayle we all know and luv:
—The father insisted the son will run with his own strategy — “It’s his campaign. I’ll do whatever he [Ben] wants me to do or whatever he doesn’t want me to do.”–
[From The Swamp - feb 12, 2010]
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know where Ben got his capital to venture? It perhaps wasn’t by spelling “potato”?
[re=512433]JMP[/re]: Even though WALNUTS! lost, I would love for Barack to demonstrate his magnanimity & desire to change the partisan tone by offering the White House for the wedding. Like the Health Care Conference getting CSPAN coverage, it would show the GOP for what it is.
[re=512430]coochiemama[/re]: I’m the creator/admin of the page. 3 Whore Diamonds for you!
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