- Weekly Standard Blog “The Blog” renounces liberal Hollywood romcom thriller The Wolfman, because it’s soft on terrorism and probably advocates for werewolf amnesty or what have you. [Weekly Standard]
- Oh bother, “The Wi-Fi” has destroyed school bus etiquette forever! [AMERICAblog]
- If the Nazi’s secret V2 stem cell research program had succeeded…well…who can say for sure what terrible medical breakthroughs would have awaited the unsuspecting Allies? [Think Progress]
- Hey New York Times! David Paterson has his own exposé (“Someone Is Out To Get Me”). But he promises not to publish his if you don’t publish yours. [Daily Intel]
- Despite bombing a baker’s dozen of countries during his President-time, Bill Clinton never received a Nobel peace trophy. Not a single peace thingamajig of any kind! But now he’s “the face of American compassion,” which means he will personally bomb Haiti and then finally receive the recognition he deserves, heart permitting! [Washington Whispers]
Nobel Peace Prize Hopefuls Include Bill Clinton, Avatar
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I can think of worse things than 9-foot tall, essentially naked blue chicks giving Nobel acceptance speeches. Well, usually I can think of worse things, but right now I can only think of that.
If those Nazis had succeeded, they could have grown Clinton a new heart. And then, like the Tin Man, he could have received his symbol of acclaim from the wizard.
Why give someone a wedgie when you can watch a wedgie being given on YouTube courtesy of the WiFi Bus?
Sonny Bunch (if that’s his real name and not a sobriquet of Paul Wolfowitz and Doug Feith) ends his review thusly:
“All we have to sink our teeth into are clichés about familial duty that not even the characters seem to buy.
And if they don’t buy them, then why should we?”
Destroying, in one fell swoop, half of the GOP’s election year talking points.
Curtis Coleman. Jeez Louise, hasn’t our state suffered enough? First Willie and the wet dick, Blanche and her “Let ‘em eat Blue Cross”, Pryor the gay Ugandan executioner, Schmuckaby the Velveeta Vacuum, and now this nimrod. That New Madrid earthquake can’t come soon enough.
Good morning Wonkette!
Here’s some real BREAKING NEWS for you Confederate Yanks…
3 dead in shooting on University of Alabama-Huntsville CAMPUS
http://www2.wsls.com/sls/news/national/article/shooting_on_campus_of_university_of_alabama-huntsville/80963/
Uh oh. Is Alabama only five blocks away from where I live, in Iowa? Geography is hard.
[re=512525]Bearbloke[/re]: How fitting for this to occur in the (Dick) Shelby building. What further proof is required to get him on Rushmore, or at the least somewhere on the Mall?
Wow, I see the AMERICAblog commenters are still a bunch of self-absorbed, hand-wringing ninnies.
In other news, Dame Lady du Peggington makes a Mary Todd Linclon ha-ha: http://tinyurl.com/yb4aqcp
[re=512525]Bearbloke[/re]: Morning? You guys have your own time zone down there in ‘bama, don’t you?
[re=512531]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Consider their editor, John Aravosis. The apples don’t fall far from the tree.
So how does the NYT go from “we have an earth-shattering story about david paterson we’re running Monday” to “we have an earth-shattering story about david paterson we’re running Wednesday” to “…”
“If the Nazi’s secret V2 stem cell research program had succeeded…well…who can say for sure what terrible medical breakthroughs would have awaited the unsuspecting Allies?”
The Boys from Brazil?
You can keep your rink-a-dink little peace prize, Clinton got an 11 foot tall gold covered statue of himself placed in the middle of Bill Clinton Boulevard
They should have denounced the J.J. Abrams Star Trek. That was a travesty.
Someone’s “out to get” Gov. Paterson? My money’s on Caroline Kennedy. The Irish are the masters of delayed revenge.
Nobody watching the opening of the winter games? Obviously not cause I haven’t read a single joke about the four giant phalluses in the middle of the stadium.
Prediction: They will light the torch with a broom. Curling, you know.
[re=512525]Bearbloke[/re]: Any information on the really important stuff?
Type of weapon? Loading/ballastics? Grouping of rounds in targets/fellow students? The lead required to pot a fleeing coed?
I keep telling you people: “School rampage shooting” is old news nowadays. Try to include the sort of details that make such a story worth reading.
(God, I LOVE this country. It’s so . . . EXCITING! It’s like being back in Absurdistan or Upper Revoltia.)
[re=512582]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: No joke, those are real Canadian dicks. One of them represents our Prime Minister.
[re=512583]Neilist[/re]: What was your role in Upper Revolta? Did it involve wagging your doudou?
[re=512583]Neilist[/re]: I mean, just by way of an example, look at this lede:
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. (AP) – A woman opened fire during a biology faculty meeting at the University of Alabama’s Huntsville campus Friday, killing three faculty members and injuring two other faculty members and a staff member.
The shooter was in custody, but university spokesman Ray Garner said he could not identify her or the victims. Local television stations reported she is a faculty member.
A WOMAN multiple murderer? And a murderous biology teacher at that? And someone good enough with a (presumably) pistol to have a three-to-two kill/wounded ratio?
Now, THERE’S a human interest story! Throw in that she was banging two of the three now-deceased fellow faculty members, and you’ve got a made for TV movie. Make one of the two deaders a hot bisexual woman, and you’ve got the next Roman Polaski Oscar winner.
[re=512584]the problem child[/re]: I see what you sneaky Canucks are doing here. After the technological triumphs of the Beiging show, Vancouver has gone with individual human talent. Even if they’ve had to mix Balet, clogging, fiddler on the canoe, and River Dance… It somehow sends a satisfying fuck you to China.
Points removed for use of Brian Adams.
Added back for Joni Mitchell
[re=512587]Neilist[/re]: Yeesh, I hate sitting through faculty meetings too, but for crying out loud, can’t you just stomp out or something?
[re=512582]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Azerbaijan has funny pants.
Fox blames torch lighting glitch on Canada’s socialized medicine in 3, 2, 1…
[re=512582]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: I’m watching the games here this afternoon, especially the upcoming “DeathLuge 2010″ competition…
“Ladies and gentlemen, will you stand please for the playing of our Corporate Hymn.”
Congratulations, Canada City, and also thank you for not allowing Celine Dion to sing “O Canada”, and for only murdering one foreign, so far. CWD proceeds apace.
Good night all. I’ve just polished off two BIG glasses of Dewers and a bag of Fresh Express veggie lovers salad mix. I’ll probably regret this…but then I have drunk a lot of water too, so maybe not. This Friday night/Saturday morning finds me despaired that folks are still shooting the fuck out of each other and more despaired that pyramid/MLM schemes still bedevil me. On a positive note, Ghost Adventures is still an entertaining mix of Ghost Busters and the Three Stooges.
Whoa! Did you hear that? Why you knuckle head…I oughta…
O, Cana-duh.
I call bullshit on your WS review review! There were no politicks innit!
[re=512609]Jim89048[/re]: The only way for the rest of the athletes to be safe is to make certain that all events occur AFTER the Holy Oath before the altar to Great Zeus and the Solemn Invocation of His Divine Protection upon these Most Sacred Games of the Olympiad, followed by the sacrifice of the 100 bulls. However, I see these infidels in Vancouver have not only decided to worship the Snowbear-God Ullr, but also that the participants have shamelessly and defiantly remained clothed, even though they know in their blasphemous hearts that ALL Olympic athletes MUST be nude, as Zeus intended…
…so this will NOT end well, for some of them, anyway…
[re=512616]Bearbloke[/re]: Nelly Furtado was approaching nakedness, somewhat. Tightly wrapped, anyway.
[re=512618]AddHomonym[/re]: Zeus is not mocked – and this not-Olympic slam-poetry nonsense is just begging for a bloody thunderbolt in 3..2..1..
[re=512618]AddHomonym[/re]: But what was up with that “choreography” aka walking around the stage awkwardly?
[re=512623]artpepper[/re]: SHHHH! Please observe the One-minute silence.
The Olympic Opening Ceremonies are so fucking gay. This year is no exception.
Fucking Chile; they have some of the best ski resorts in the world and they’ve got ONE, count ‘em ONE athlete in this games?
Peru? Their delegation, their featured athlete, is a skiier from Seattle who admits outright, “We like to party and eat a lot, so we’re not real competitive.” This dude works for Microsoft.
The hale and hardy British Team, grinning like fucking idiots, proudly showing off their cliched, ridiculous, horrible, crooked teeth as if they are actually proud of their national malady.
Jamaican bobsled team is a no-show, obviously they didn’t even TRY to pass the drug test this year, DUH. The drug testing is a lot more accurate than it was in the Cool Runnings days. Motrin is NOT gonna cover that shit any more. And who wants to fucking DIE on the world’s fastest and most dangerous sledding course, anyway? It’s not amateur hour anymore. They may be stoned, but they’re not stupid.
And the US Team – the proud Americans – the world’s only superpower – shows up in doofus touques with fucking MOOSE stitched in the pattern, screaming to the whole world that THEY’D RATHER BE CANADIAN, BECAUSE AT LEAST THEY’VE GOT FUCKING HEALTH CARE THAT WORKS UP THERE.
[/rant]
[re=512623]artpepper[/re]: Just another instance of the stereotypically-Canadian artsy-fartsy Fail-ympics we earlier saw with the Logan’s-Run Carousel-Dome dancing, and then at the cauldron lighting when their Fortress-of-Solitude Ice-Crystal torch-thing failed to deploy all four parts so they could light as planned.
Sorry to be so harsh on the Canuckistanis – we, the the grovelling subjects of Imperial Brittania, sometimes tend to treat each other as the abused siblings of our collective Mother-Goddess, Her Majesty by Grace of Gawd, Queen Mumsy Lizze II… this is especially evident amongst the drunken mobs at Commonwealth cricket and rugby matches…
The only reason to watch the Olympics is to see what terrorist events are planned. Always the best part of the show.
[re=512587]Neilist[/re]: Your sick, in a sick sort of way.
[re=512587]Neilist[/re]: She is Harvard educated. Perhaps Harvard, like Columbia, had a firing range tucked away in the basement of some building, built many years ago, in a time when our aristocracy believed in nobless oblige and leading from the front?
[re=512588]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: That was some nice spelling you performed last night.
[re=512632]DC Hates Me[/re]: Yeah, but the Russian judges always mar the process by giving outrageously high scores to Eastern Bloc terrorists.
Does the school district not understand that those kids are looking at porn? Are you kidding me? An adult-looking-over-your-shoulder-free zone oasis between home and school?
[re=512643]Mustang[/re]: Don’t discount the ass kissing tattle-tales though. Or the kids who send links that say dude! Check this out! Then tell everyone at school that your a gay yiffer.
I am so glad I wasn’t a kid during the internet age.
I LIKE CANADA!
I think it would be nice if they won the Olympics.
[re=512607]Bearbloke[/re]: Thank you for that.
[re=512626]Autoo[/re]: “THEY’D RATHER BE CANADIAN, BECAUSE AT LEAST THEY’VE GOT FUCKING HEALTH CARE THAT WORKS UP THERE.” Yes, but according to NPR there are protests about the expense of the Olympics vs. cuts in health care ‘up there’… Also, 3:04am? Speed kills, man.
[re=512649]plowman[/re]: 3:04am? Speed kills, man.
West coast time 12:04, not quite sleepytime yet. The six pack is not empty yet. I stayed up ’cause I knew you’d all be breathlessly awaiting my insightful analysis of how gay the Olympic Opening Ceremonies are.
Brief Recap: Pretty Darn Gay.
[re=512587]Neilist[/re]: Jeebus freaks blame her rampage on teaching evolution in 3…2…1…
[re=512639]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: But everyone loves a self-immolating buddhist monk … except the chinese.
BLAME CANADA!!!11!!!
[re=512649]plowman[/re]: Cue Fox implying the luger might have lived had he crashed in the US in 3…2…1..
Bill Clinton says, “I feel great.” Too mush informations.
“If the Nazi’s secret V2 stem cell research program had succeeded…well…who can say for sure what terrible medical breakthroughs would have awaited the unsuspecting Allies?”
The Girly-Boys from Brazil?
[re=512664]Can O Whoopass[/re]: Boys in the Bund.
[re=512651]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yep. KD Lang confirms the start of the gay olympics.
(gee, I so looove her voice)
Women’s Ski Jumping is my favorite Olympic event.
More unparlimentary behaviour, this time from our Canadian friends.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr1A7lBNAf4
Jamaican bobsled team is a no-show, obviously they didn’t even TRY to pass the drug test this year,
What the hell kind of drugs do you need just to sit on a thing that slides down a hill? I should think scarfing down a few cases of Pepperidge Farm Mint Milanos would do more good than steroids.
[re=512675]Joshua Norton[/re]: it’s not the ‘roids. You ever meet a Jamaican who didn’t smoke weed?
[This may be off-topic, but . . . .]
I know that you LIE-Bruals in here think that I’m a bit of an iconoclast. (Well, okay, an asshole. Whatever.)
But in the spirit of Good Fellowship, Harmony & Brother/Sisterhood, I’d like to believe that we can agree on one thing:
Demonstrators, for whatever cause, who dress up as blue-painted characters from the movie “Avatar” should be shot. Repeatedly.
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/wire/sns-ap-ml-israel-palestinians-avatar,0,6458638.story
We return you now to our regularly scheduled ButtSex Unlimited! programing.
Your Fellow In Jay-SuS!
[re=512676]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Or a snowboarder? Not that I’m implying the Flying Tomato is flying on anything but talent, a love of boarding, and the thrill of competition, of course.
[re=512676]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Hell, I thought smoking weed was a required part of the training for that sport.
[re=512680]Hooray For Anything[/re]:
VANCOUVER (Reuters) – A word from American snowboarding great Shaun White — no more “Flying Tomato.”
Q.
Dear Mr. Sports Know It All,
When did Snowboarding become an Olympic Sport?
Jimmy age 10.
————————————————
A.
Dear Jimmy,
Nice try, but you have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool ol’ Mr. Sports Know It All.
The answer is:
Snowboarding isn’t a sport.
Snowboarding is actually a HOBBY whose enthusiasts are Silver Spooned Slackers who view themselves as some kind of disaffected counter-culture heroes that are too lazy, self-important, immature, undisciplined and disinterested to dedicate all of their time and energy to learn a real sport that is respected and that adults participate in.
Hope this helps Jimmy.
Signed
Mr. Sports Know It All.
————————————————————————–
Thank you Mr. Sports Know It All.
However, I do have one more question:
If Snowboarding isn’t a real sport, how come you can do it in the Olympics and win a bunch of Medals?
Jimmy age 10.
—————————————————————————————————-
Hi Jimmy. Welcome back.
Well Jimmy, you see the Winter Olympics have never been really kind to the U.S.
Even though the U.S. has plenty of good mountains, snow and ice, they continually got their asses kicked by countries with populations 1/10th it’s size…with 1/1,000th of it’s funding.
You see Jimmy, Americans are big fucking babies and poor sports. So what happened was that American corporate interests bullied and pressured the IOC to include Snow Boarding and the Free Style Skiing bullshit to be Olympic Sports so Americans could win some medals.
Let me give you an example. Let’s take the results of the last Winter Olympics held in Turin, Italy in 2006.
The U.S. finished with a respectable 25 medals. Second only to Germany. U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A! WHOO HOO! IN YER FACE WORLD!
Ok Jimmy, here comes the Science!
If we subtract the Medals won by the U.S. in the BULLSHIT Snowboarding category, “Sport” (Hobbies for wealthy slacker kids) which was 7 total medals, The U.S. finishes 6th place in total medal count…below Canada.
See how it works Jimmy.
And now you know…the rest of the story.
Signed,
Mr. Sports Know It All.
Now playing: The Claudine Longet Skiing/Shooting competition.
[re=512684]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: I love it when Yankees get their panties all in a wad about these snow activities we see on the teevee. It’s like us Southerners arguing about guns…
[re=512684]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Ha ha, Keith, is that you?
[re=512684]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Right on mate! Enough bullshit ‘sports’ in the Olympics!
Way back when I was a but a Bear-cub, back in the dank bowels of the ancient & barbaric 20th century (spring of 1996), I wrote an actual paper letter to Mr. Knight, the Sydney 2000 “Olympics Minister” urging the Sydney Organising Committee to return Rugby Union to the Olympics as the Sydney 2000 ‘demo’ sport since 1) both the Aussies & the Kiwis could easily win Gold, 2)the other 62 nations that field RU teams for the Rugby World Cup would send their best teams also (including the defending Olympic Gold-Medal RU champs – the US of ‘Merika from back in 1920 and 1924), thus 3)making the event broadcasts on telly quite popular (read: profitable & marketable ) throughout the world and providing a HUGE boost to the international profile (read: American & Chinese attention ) for this great sport.
In Spring ’99, I got a letter from the Minister’s Office… it said (paraphrasing ) “We’re all pathetic politico prats here who couldn’t find our arses with both hands and a guide-dog, so we’ve stupidly chosen bloody BALLROOM DANCING as our demo sport. Now piss off, we’ve got other stupid things to do.” Chess also found its way onto the Sydney Olympics programme. Following the Olympics, Knight’s career was brought to an end and he was run out of town.
Fortunately for we Rugby-fans, the Brasilians (of all people) have announced that they will have Rugby Sevens (a variant of Union) for their 2016 Games… however, they’re also having Gold there, so it seems the American corporate interests haven’t been defeated yet…
[re=512692]Bearbloke[/re]: The Brasilians are having GOLF at their 2016 games…
/belated proof-reading
So, randomly, I wish all of you witty personalities a Happy V-Day with a Rolling Stones mashup: “You can’t always get what you want, but love is love and not fade away.” It’s touching because it’s true.
Snowboarding is closer to being a sport than golf ever thought of being. For that matter, so is ballroom dancing.
[re=512685]Jim89048[/re]: Ms Longet simply didn’t practise enough… and the Biathlon, along with the DeathLuge 2010 event is the only reason I watch these Northern-hemisphere-chauvinistically-named “Winter” Olympics…
[re=512697]Bearbloke[/re]: BTW, here’s some interesting non-gory video of various human crashtest dummies practising for DeathLuge 2010… I’m not sure it’s really a sport, but you can bet you bloody arse that I’ll never risk life and limb like that!
So, the Huntsville Sharpshooter, it appears, shot and killed her brother when they were teenagers but it was ruled an accident. Movie of the week, coming up.
Appos for the HTMfail! My Senior-Bear and I are hosting a Valentine’s day barbie for our Bear-club – the lager and the naked Bears out by the pool on this lovely warm summer day are making my typing fingers do funny things…
BTW, world class coward Dick Cheney will be on ABC’s This Week this morning.
[re=512677]Neilist[/re]:
Eff Yoo & yer Maw, too.
[re=512701]Bearbloke[/re]: Man, you love to talk about yer Bear Club Stuff. Is it relevant? It’s akin to ‘gay trolling’ or something. Take a break.
[re=512700]gurukalehuru[/re]: [re=512702]FlipOffResearch[/re]: Happy Valentimes!!!
[re=512525]Bearbloke[/re]: Yes, I’ve been waiting for the Alabama Tenure Committee Massacre to make it to Wonkette.com ! Given the normal level of violence and the bad job market for profs denied tenure, I’m surprised that more don’t go postal. Actually, I’m really surprised more grad students don’t go postal, given their general tense, impoverished, situations.
[re=512704]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Hey mate, don’t read it if it bothers you.
[re=512700]gurukalehuru[/re]: With a shotgun, though. It’s hard to miss with a shotgun. My question is, how did she manage to get the police chief to cover it up all these years? Of course, maybe it was her handiness with a gun that got her a job in Alabama, anyway.
[re=512704]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Are you documenting my “love to talk about yer Bear Club Stuff”? No? Then let me: I think having made mentioned of it twice in the past, some 6-7 months ago (on 24 July 2009, relevant to the topic of closet gays at a GOP beach party) and (on on 21 Aug 2009, first in reference to me, then a response by me, then a response to me, all relevant to the topic of furries yiffing each other) is hardly excessive, as your post implies. As I said before, don’t read it if you don’t like it.
Any comment on the inclusion of ‘sports’ like chess in the Olympic Games?
“GOP Senate candidate Curtis Coleman (R-AR), who is running against Sen. Blanche Lincoln (D-AR), compared embryonic stem cell research to “what the Nazis did to the Jews.“ Yesterday, progressive radio host Thom Hartmann invited Coleman onto his show and offered him a chance to apologize to survivors of the Holocaust for his statement. Coleman flatly refused to apologize and went on to say that it is “not at all””
I used to know some people who were intelligent and Republicans. Funny thing, they’re all independents now. I wonder why.
Give it to me; I could use the money and I’m real peaceful.
[re=512684]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Brilliance. Pure brilliance.
[re=512677]Neilist[/re]: here, read this crap. This is how to stage a protest or something: scorn and ridicule and obscurity.
http://www.integralworld.net/anderson1.html
Happy Valentine’s Day, guys – You are the ones that keep me sane amongst the political and ideological savages mucking up our world.
[re=512700]gurukalehuru[/re]: [re=512710]zhubajie[/re]: Yeah, the pump-action shotgun kept on going off ‘accidentally’, I guess reloading itself ‘accidentally’ before each shot, but mom didn’t hear anything as the Cuisinart was running or ‘Days of Our Lives’ was on real loud. Say what you like but her gun handling has certainly improved since being immersed in Southern Gun Culture!
Despite bombing a baker’s dozen of countries during his President-time, Bill Clinton never received a Nobel peace trophy.
Well, you know what Machiavelli said: it’s better to be feared than loved.
[re=512721]Aurelio[/re]: To be fair, Serbia had it coming it to them.
[re=512711]Bearbloke[/re]: Hey, Chess is a great game, but anything that can be played by people over 40 is not a sport. (See also Golf)
[re=512721]Aurelio[/re]: He never said it was better to be *bombed* than loved, though, which I imagine is a sticking point certain residents of the Balkans / Iraq / Sudanese baby formula factories.
On a matter of principle, the guy who basically turned a blind eye to Rwanda on is watch would make a poor candidate. But in comparison to others who have won, this is sort of a small issue.
I love how the second post on the story was “Clinton deserves a prize for letting 9/11 happen”, too.
[re=512692]Bearbloke[/re]: Bear, I think you’re a bit confused. “Rugby Union” IS “ballroom dancing.” To an Australian, anyway.
And Chess is more of a sport than golf will ever be.
But let’s not argue. Instead, for the next Olympics, let’s all insist that, at a minimum, “Faculty Gun Down” be made a demonstration sport.
It would be an an automatice four medals (Gold, Silver, Bronze and Purple Heart) for this great nation.
USA!USA!USA!USA!
[re=512728]Neilist[/re]: 8 Medals. You’re forgetting Men’s and Women’s Faculty Gun Down events.
[re=512704]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:
I pronounce you irrelevant, now take a break from Wonkett. Per your own rules.
[re=512699]Bearbloke[/re]: The luger’s death is all U.S. America’s fault. If America had been content to fight the Cold War to a draw, rather than insisting on winning it, then the Soviet Union would still be intact. This guy never would have been good enough to make the Soviet national team, and he’d still be alive and well back home in Georgia.
I just hope the camera operators at the women’s figure-skating event keeps us guys in mind.
Clinton got something more precious than any award or prize.
He got blowjobs.
[re=512717]Flanders[/re]: My sentiments, exactly. Hearts and flowers to all the Wonkeratti.
[re=512705]zhubajie[/re]: I predict that future “postals” in Walmarts from coast-to-coast will be perpetrated by people denied tenure.
[re=512733]Servo[/re]: You do know, dontcha, that naked look is actually fabric in the color Crayola calls “flesh”? But you might not even HAVE any camera operators at women’s figure skating. The cameras are all trained on that Adam Lambert wannabe in men’s skating, every since the PETA types threated to pop him for wearing fur.
I love Nate Silver!
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/extra_bases/
As an Alabaman, I’m not one to stereotype all Harvard-Ph.D.s as bunch of fratricidal, bomb-makers who shoot up departmental faculty meetings. I’m sure there are many who are not.
[re=512735]Jukesgrrl[/re]:
Fabric colored is irrelevent compared to a wild imagination. PETA could do Mr. Lambert wannabe the most harm by throwing a handful of kitty litter onto the ice as he makes a high-speed pass.
[re=512583]Neilist[/re]: 9 mm automatic.
Happy valentine’s day you emotional/physical cripples.
Utah is making a strong bid to surpass South Carolina as “Stupidest State in the Union.” A state legislator has proposed, as a money saving measure, canceling 12th grade. Seriously.
Good Afternoon Wonkette! And Happy President Barack Hoo-sAyn O’Bama Day, the most sacred holy-day of the entire KenyIslamic Fascioalist-International Hawaiian Voodoo calendar! Now, this Arkansas Konfederate Krusader isn’t pleased with the whole affair, but I can muster a friendly grin for you Yanks while I slave away this summer workday in a blighted land not only abjectly deprived of the privilege to live under the Benevolent Dictatorship of Obama 5-0 the Teabag slayer, but also bereft of nationwide holiday-sales for red-white-n-blue Truknutz at the local Mao-Mart… pity us.
[re=512750]gurukalehuru[/re]: But the Mormon students still get their guaranteed admit to Breed’Em Yung Yooniversity, right?
OK, I’m pretty sure I’m the only one here who has ever actually played the Sport of Golf (albeit, badly), so I will attempt an Olympian Defense of the Sport of Golf.
In the defense of the Sport of Golf, I would like to say first that it’s a whole hell of a lot harder sport than it looks; unless you are an athlete who is naturally good at other sports, in which case the Sport of Golf is easier than it looks. (see: Jordan, Michael)
My secondary defense of the Sport of Golf is that NOBODY who has ever played golf has ever referred to it as a ‘sport,’ but rather, they call it a ‘game.’ If you ever refer to it as a ‘sport’ within earshot of serious golfers, they will chortle with glee and heap ridicule upon you. Because everyone knows it’s just a game, suitable for drunks and fatties and old insurance salesmen and weaklings and bankers and doctors who smoke too much who aren’t good at real sports, and you’re are an asshole for calling it a sport, and you are surely not a golfer.
Now don’t be stomping around in front of my putt, that’s just bad form, man.
[re=512750]gurukalehuru[/re]: They should at least cancel it for the girls — since there’s no point in going to school after you’re married.
[re=512755]Lascauxcaveman[/re]:
Golf: Live Slow – Die Old – Wear More Plaid
[re=512734]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: Indeed. On the news interview with Clinton post-hospital-release — I watched on a TV at my gym with the sound muted — the closed-captioning mistranscribed our former prez as saying he “didn’t notice anything until four dames ago.”
[re=512731]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: Oooh–ouch.
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