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Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell looks pretty much exactly like the grandmother from Little Red Riding Hood, minus the sexy bonnet. He cried, on the Senate floor, about his longtime chief of staff quitting to “spend more time with his family.” This is very undignified, this weeping! Who does this? Who does this in public? Over staff turnover? [Political Ticker]

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57 COMMENTS

  1. well, the staffer is leaving because his wife discovered he and Mitch were more than just friends, so Mitch is sad, and the staffer now needs to go pretend to be born again to make his gayness go away.

  2. 2:26: Never forget! Eighteen minutes? Are you kidding? No one can stand this jerk for more than 0:30.

    [re=512177]One Yield Regular[/re]: Ha ha! Pat was my congresscritter for many a year. Quite enjoyable! And totally ineffective. But she wore a bunny suit on the Great Wall of China on Easter.

  3. according to whorunsgov.com, “Simmons was a key architect behind the GOP’s decision to serve as a mainly unified block obstructing President Obama’s legislation during his first year in office.”

    so there’s that

  4. 18:00?!!?! Unless ghost of Paul Wellstone rises from the desk behind him and rips off McConnell’s head, I cannot watch 18 minutes of this fucker.

  5. according to the internets “Simmons was a key architect behind the GOP’s decision to serve as a mainly unified block obstructing President Obama’s legislation during his first year in office.”

    so there’s that

  6. When a man is sad in the Senate for AGES about a staff change, but spends all of the rest of his time absolutely screwing, in a hateful way, all of the regular American people, then that man is a–oh shit, he’s just a crappy-old-man Republican.

  7. [re=512205]abdcist[/re]: “Simmons was a key architect behind the GOP’s decision to serve as a mainly unified block obstructing President Obama’s legislation during his first year in office.”

    My better angels tell me that as a result of this, he somehow suddenly acquired a conscious and resigned with a strong sense of shame, determined to do no more harm.

    (My better angels don’t have a very good record, when it comes to Republican pols.)

  8. [re=512263]Red Zeppelin[/re]: That’s right. Repubs only resign, using the “weekly excuse”, SSMTWTF, because they are about to cash in or get caught in a huge, disgusting, hypocritical scandal.

  9. 18 minutes of Mitch? But you’re telling me he cried? I’ll take it on faith.

    But, wait, he’s against gay marriage, when he’s so demonstrably a fag?

  10. I love it when pols have to read every fucking written word of their extremely heartfelt sentiments regarding whatever. Stop your crying, Bitch.

  11. Does anyone in Washington ever quit “to get a better job?” Who the hell quits a job to spend time with their families? For that matter, in what universe do people spend time with their families. Or want to? Or have families that want them. I always translate that as “to spend more time with my wife’s lawyer.”

  12. This is not the People’s business…this is a personnel matter. I am mad this guy is wasting our money and time when they should be working on health care…

  13. Wow, a humble “country bumpkin just trying to pay his ‘lectric bill” turns into a Republican. How bout that. Must have been the golf.

  14. Mitch is crying because Simmons is leaving to spend more time with his family, Mitch’s family.It’s like a scene out of Talladega Nights. Simmons probably called Mitch from the hot tub just before the speech.

  15. I hope Kentucky’s proud of this closeted Married Mary they elected again. I live just across the river so I was subjected his re-election radio ads bragging on how much pork he brought home to his state. Please, Kentucky, pull your collective head out of your collective ass next time and vote for someone with a chin.

  16. How embarrassing. Aren’t senators supposed to wipe the cum off their lips before prancing onto the floor?

    Fortunately, Scott Brown’s turgid staff will soon bring tears of joy to Mitch, and next week it will be “Kyle Who?”

  17. They have the edited-down version on youtube, but it’s with Richard Simmons and the one guy from American Idol. Same amount of, you know, wriggling, wiggling, excrement like a champagne cork exploding action. It’s under “two staffers, one cup”.

  18. Now instead of “Don’t Cry for me Argentina” we have “Don’t Cry for Kyle, Mitch McConnell.”

    McConnell won’t have to be without Kyle anyway, since he’s only moving down the street to become a GOP lobbyist (making much more money than now but essentially doing the same thing — promoting corporate interests rather than those of the American people).

    If only McConnell could dig up some emotion for the American people, about whom he doesn’t seem to be nearly as concerned.

    Read my attack poem of the latter title, listen to Madonna’s rendition of the original song, and check out my new alternate lyrics at http://newsericks.com/dont-cry-for-kyle-mitch-mcconnell.

    Please leave comments to let me know what you think.

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