New Hampshire State Rep. Nancy Elliott Would Like To Discuss Same-Sex Marriage

  yummy!

“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?” Oof. Time for Nancy Elliott’s husband to lower his expectations. [YouTube]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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156 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    Considering the internal psychological machinations of the average anti-sex GOPer, I’d have to say that her husband is a sad panda but her scat/anal lesbian lover with the 12 inch strap-on dildo is very happy.

  2. 2goats

    I think we need us a Federally funded study of the incidence of anal sex pre-/post- marriage. Speaking anecdotally only and from a narrowly Hetero perspective, I’m predicting we find that the best way to slow down, indeed stop that awful conduct, is to force them gays to marry up, ASAP. But I will await the study results. Put it on the YouTubes and we can maybe have it be revenue neutral.

  3. freakishlystrong

    I’ve been really busy. Working. All this stifling of roaring laughing out loud is not helpful. Carry on.

  4. JMP

    Ah, the ignorance of the anti-sex crusaders. Nancy doesn’t even realize that, yes, some straight women; and even some straight men and gay women, with certain devices; do in fact enjoy having that “done to” them; or go through with it because their partner likes it.

    For consolation, a woman like this probably allows her husband to refuse to eat her out, and probably doesn’t even think of asking for it; so she ain’t having much fun herself.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Nancy, honey — if allowing people to get married is the same as personally condoning whatever sex acts they care to engage it, then I’m in favor of outlawing all marriage. Especially yours and those of the two warty trolls on either side of you.

  6. Lascauxcaveman

    “taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement.”

    HOLY SHIT! I missed that part the first time around! Christ you faggots are d i s g u s t i n g !

    Just go off in a hole and die, somewhere. And take your filthy, poop-encrusted penises with you.

  7. coolcatdaddy

    Someone, please, hurry – remix this into a dance tune I can hear the next time I go to a wriggling penis-anus sex club.

  8. JooJoo Bee

    This is funny in the way that watching a blind man try to describe an elephant from just feeling its trunk is funny. You laugh, you cry….

  9. bfstevie

    Someone needs to explain to the New Hampshire legislators what a microphone is, and how if you want to record sound the microphone needs to be near the source of the sound. And then they can figure out how you put it in the rectum of another man and wriggle it around in excrement.

  10. FlownOver

    Trust me – if New Hampshire State Representative Nancy Elliott has a husband he has no room left on the downside of his expectations.

  11. saralovesyou

    Republicans have filthier minds than any liberal I’ve ever met.

    See: bestiality obsession, scat obsession.

  12. Cicada

    At least she’s being honest. This has never been about the “sanctity of marriage”, but rather the squeamishness of a bunch of sad sexually-repressed prudes.

    Anyway, can you imagine a man putting his penis into a cavity slimy with the secretions of mucus membranes and wriggling it around? GRODY! Not to mention two people mooshing their lips and tongues together and mixing their drool and oral bacteria. Urrgh!

    Yep. Pretty much anything sounds disgusting if you want it to.

  13. Ted Kennedy Breakdancing

    God dammit I’m hard now. And where were these teachers encouraging 5th graders to perform anal sex when I was younger? We had to wait for church to get that sort of encouragement.

  14. The Church of Realism

    I don’t get what the big deal is, Republicans should be used to wriggling around in excrement, shouldn’t they?

  15. Barcode of the Apocalypse

    [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: And to think that we are all the result of a load of cum wrapped around a single-celled amoebum.

  16. Gopherit

    I am pretty sure Mr Elliot has put his penis in a sack full of excrement a few times. Of course, that’s not a nice way to refer to your wife, so let’s just call her Nancy.

  17. Gopherit

    And with all of that dirty talk, you have to wonder what she keeps doing with her left hand under the table.

  18. RoscoePColtraine

    Yes, well I am late to this, so much of what needed to be said has been said, but two points:

    1) Buttsex is not strictly the purview of tey gays, and
    B) Marriage (presumably the subject of the debate) really isn’t about the sex, at least, if you think of staying married to the same person for the next, let’s say, fifty years or so.

    Also, Nancy, I’m thinking some fiber supplements for you might be nice, and for heaven’s sakes lay off the starchy carbs! Your diet of sugar in all it’s various forms is keeping your rectum a MESS.

  19. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=512047]Scarab[/re]: Maybe she’s had so many children sex with her it like banging a stick inside a bucket.

  20. Mad Brahms

    Yes, because marriage is all about sex. I’m sure *hers* is, what with all that wriggling around, inside her vagina, as god intended.

    Oh, or maybe not. To quote arrested development: “Where are we gonna find someone to go inside that musty old claptrap?”

  21. sanantonerose

    These folks just really have no concept of anatomy or how their down-belows work, do they? The excrement is further up. Near the head region.

  22. Mad Brahms

    [re=512102]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Aww, you beat me to it with a “serious rejoinder” post. I was considering it, but opted for potty humor instead.

    And speaking of which.

    [re=512103]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I’m thinking more “banana down a hallway” or “wrench down a mineshaft” in this case.

  23. jetjaguar

    I like how Mr. Magoo to her right doesn’t perk up until she asks ‘would you want this to happen to you?’

  24. DickTaterPeeNoShay

    I love how the lady sitting next to her is completely disengaged until she hears the word “penis.” Then check out how big her eyes get; priceless.

  25. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @bitchincamaro: You can’t tell me someone who puts that much conscious thought into it isn’t pro-anal, at least in her heart.

  26. Barcode of the Apocalypse

    [re=512101]WadISay[/re]: Probably went right home and confronted her husband about not doing it right.

  27. thefrontpage

    Nancy Elliott: According to some people at Wonkette, some British people, and the Palin family, that’s called going rogue!!

  28. chaste everywhere

    Today we are all penis-putting wrigglers around in excrement. No? Today we are all repressed fuckheads holding political office?

  29. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=512116]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes, but yours made us laugh, as is our wont here at Wonkett. ‘Musty old claptrap’ is the perfect visual for the vageen in Nancy’s case, I’d venture to say.

  30. saggyboobedhag

    You misquoted her. After she said, “I’d have to think” she said, “I’m NOT SURE.” Then she said, “Would I ALLOW that to be done to me.” So, she’s not sure. She’s not sure. I think she wants it. I think she’d love it and she’s just begging her fellow legislators to tell her how great it is.

    And it’s ALLOW not WANT. Would I allow that to be done to me. I think there’s a lot of wiggle room there, so to speak. She can’t stop thinking about it. There’s definitely hope.

  31. dinkybossetti

    Now that I know what the sex ed curriculum is like, it is suddenly clear to me why Nashua has twice been named the “Best Place to Live in America” by some magazine who names such things.

  32. geminisunmars

    [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: Way back in the dark ages I came across a “marriage manual” my parents had, and read a passage that urged women to douche BEFORE intercourse in order to make the vagina a “fit” place in which to place a penis. Which explains a lot about me I suppose.

  33. Mojopo

    This TOTALLY made my morning! One of us needs to send this woman some literature on gay butt sex, and the right way to do it. Maybe SHE walks around with a turtle head peeping out all day, but I imagine most people do not.

  34. DickTaterPeeNoShay

    All in all, a rather physically unappealing gathering of statesmen. This could explain some things.

  35. RoscoePColtraine

    And finally I have to say that of all the words in Nancy’s depiction of sex, ‘wriggling’ is by far the most disturbing.

  36. twoeightnine

    We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the bloody gash of a woman and wriggling it around in blood and piss and other icky stuff.

    Ah, here’s the problem. nancy_elliott@elliott-controls.com

    She runs a dominatrix service and doesn’t like the competition.

  37. Papas got a brand new teabag

    the idea of rep Elliot’s husband glen blowing a load all up inside the fleshy folds of her undoubtedly smelly, hairy-ass vag is no less disgusting than wriggling around in some dude’s rectum. so, can we ban her marriage? also, too.

  38. jodyleek

    [re=512151]Mojopo[/re]: She already knows about the gay butt sexy time. Let’s send her
    some pics of straight couples demonstrating the Cleveland Steamer and the Dirty Sanchez
    to just totally blow her mind.

  39. Dashboard_Buddha

    Not being a dick in shit kinda guy, I have to say that I can’t stop looking at the Liz Phair picture.

    Oh…and this beeoch is super crazy repressed.

  40. Katydid

    Right. Like women don’t do anal. OK, maybe straight women finally try it after their partners beg forever and just won’t shut up about it, but then they find they actually like it….have I said too much?

    And WHY are lesbians always invisible to these fuckers? Lesbians are known to have gay sex; it’s kinda a big part of what makes them lesbians.

    Finally, who among us was encouraged to have sex of any kind in school? I definitely wasn’t shown pictures in any grade of a man and a woman going at it. If I had been shown anything like that when I was in 5th grade, when I was, what, 10 or 11, I would have been repulsed. My takeaway wouldn’t have been, “Gee, I’d like to try that.”

    There really are no words for what a fucking douchebag asshole cunt motherfucking jerkoff nimrod that woman-type-thing is. Goddamm her.

    Apologies for not bringing the funny. This stuff makes me crazy.

  41. Papas got a brand new teabag

    [re=512175]jodyleek[/re]: judging by her, um, size, i’m guessing she’s already very accomplished at the Hot Richard

  42. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=512178]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: In retrospect, I’m not sure what I meant by this…other than I really enjoy looking at pictures of Liz Phair. yes…I’m 13.

  43. bkny

    wanna bet what that woman jotted down on the paper was …. ‘oy, a youtube moment fersure’…
    gotta hand it to her for keeping a straight face.

  44. ella

    I’m not sure where her district is, but there are kissin’ cousins towns in NH where cops couldn’t solve a murder if they had one because everybody’s DNA is the same. And she’s grossed out by excrement?

  45. Autoo

    [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: OK, you talked me into it; I’ll give it a try. Say, 8 o’clock, at your place? I’ll bring some wine.

  46. smashtheduck

    So is anal an appropriate way to celebrate one’s tip being accepted? Wait. Never mind. Can’t fix that sentence without making it worse.

  47. jodyleek

    [re=512180]Papas got a brand new teabag[/re]: Well, she doesn’t eat all those lentils for nothin’.

  48. Fuck Toad

    Why doesn’t this post have an ‘ass fucking’ tag? You’re letting the team down, Newell.

    [re=512165]twoeightnine[/re]: Dang I really hope there’s no piss in a lady’s gash.

  49. eclecticbrotha

    Just. Fucking. BRILLIANT.

    “We have to think about that a while?” Really? Why waste time thinking when we could be wriggling our penises around in each other’s anuses? Besides, Nancy, if you have to think about it a while that means you’re entertaining the idea of actually trying it. So, stop fondling your testicles, take your hand out of your granny drawers and start speed dialing your husband and let him know that you’re bringing the KY.

    By the way, did anyone ask the Demonsheep about any of this?

  50. Escape Goat Nation

    Oh…well. I didn’t know any of this stuff! This is what gay is?
    Man, I don’t know anymore. I’m going to have to re-evaluate my support for Gay Rights.

    Oh, ok. She’s joking right…right?

  51. Mad Brahms

    [re=512239]Fuck Toad[/re]: Y…eah, that would be pretty bad. Also, as a hetero, the term “gash” still pretty much makes me never want to get anywhere a vagina again, god. But it’s a great demonstration about how just about any sexual act can be made revolting if you play with the language enough; vaginas as gaping-wounds is fair play when assholes are “messy”

    [re=512179]Katydid[/re]: We all know lesbians aren’t an “affront to nature”, because they’re just doing it for attention, kissing-a-girl-and-they-liked-it for the joy of their boyfriends, and even if they aren’t, I mean really, women are supposed to be all passive and submissive anyway so if they’re the ones doing the penetrating – so long as its on each other of course! – no harm no foul right? And lesbians would NEVER engage in anal play, certainly not any lesbians I know.

    Oh wait, that last paragraph was actually the exact opposite of what I meant to say. Oops!

  52. unclesahm

    Obviously she has never heard of the practice of adequately preparing one’s rectum for anal penetration with an enema. Cleans you right out and there’s considerably less clean-up for you and your partner. You’re welcome.

  53. SpikeyDog

    The Repubs on Capital Hill are going to be re-playing this clip over and over, getting their tightly whities all wet.

  54. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement

    This is what teh gayez have been up to? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Ooh!

    And, shouldn’t someone track down Mr. Elliott and find out if she allows him to wriggle it around when Aunt Flo visits?

    As to her point, obviously they need to teach stuff to the kids, look what happened to her when she didn’t learn it right.

    [re=512046]slappypaddy[/re]: Wasn’t that the point of her rant?

    [re=512112]imissopus[/re]: If they put that on their license plates, New Hampshire should be forgiven a lot of its sins.

  55. chaste everywhere

    Dear Nancy (nice name, by the way),

    Why don’t you sod off back to Hillsborough before someone finds out you’re queer?

    yrs w/luv, quentin crisp

  56. lawrenceofthedesert

    If Ramblin’ Jack Elliott had said this instead of Nancy, I might have been interested. Jack is the Miles Davis of folk music and tends to pepper his remarks with pithy arcana. Try wiggling your penis around in THAT some time.

  57. Hopey dont play that game

    I declare that henceforth this day, Feb. 12, is now Buttsecks Day. And without further adieu ladies and gents, here is the Rusty Trombone marching band.

  58. TrailerSpawned

    Given how Nancy tipped her hand with respect to her scat fetish, I eagerly await the 2representatives/1cup vid.

  59. Mrs Bitch

    She must be referring to the Homosexual style of sexual relations. We know that the public finds those much ickier than Gay Man and Lesbian action.

  60. Mojopo

    She should read Dan Savage more often, because then she would know that it is bad manners to have anal relations with cargo in the hatch.

  61. donner_froh

    [re=512044]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The trolls on either side of her are acting as if this is a typical occurrence: “Christ, there she goes again. What is it this time?” Nancy Elliot must sound like “blah blah blah” to some of them by now.

  62. Tommmcatt

    It’s called a shower bullet, Nancy. Most of us have them installed in our showers in case we need to freshen up before that special moment. How do you wash the piss out of yours before the donkey goes to town?

    Gah, I hate these ignorant assholes.

  63. Tommmcatt

    [re=512308]donner_froh[/re]:

    Ever wonder what the teacher from the Charlie Brown’s classroom looked like? Her.

  64. Mr Blifil

    At least it’s nice to know that she approves of male-on-male of oral contact, judging by her omission on that point. This will provide immense relief to her husband surely.

  65. Marsupialboy

    “We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement.” Fine. We’re talking about it. But it would be so, so much better if we were *singing* about it.

  66. marioninnyc

    [re=512035]2goats[/re]: Good point. Nothing stops sex of any kind faster than “making it legal.” If these people really cared about ending the scourge of anal intercourse, they should be promoting same sex marriage!

  67. Tommmcatt

    [re=512438]Marsupialboy[/re]:

    With choreography by Twila Tharp, yes, that would be just about the best thing ever.

  68. grevillea

    Dear Nancy,
    Since you’re big on ‘normal’, we should let you know that sex is not normally arranged by the government and carried out by them on unprepared and unwilling citizens. Perhaps you are confusing buttsex with “being audited”?
    Best,
    Normal People

  69. vespula maculata

    You’re so very right, Nancy

    Better to spends one’s entire male life chasing a receptacle that looks -close up- like a mal-healed surgical wound.

  70. rambone

    Worst porn setup-scene ever! The fifty-on-one gangbang starring Nancy that immediately followed was pretty good though.

  71. Hutch

    I have never seen a wriggling penis! I didn’t know they did that. I mean, the definition of wriggle and wriggling is moving in a twisting or snake-like or wormlike fashion. I’ve seen pecker tracks, though, but didn’t realize they were the result of wriggling penises.

    But what a concept! Maybe I’ll design a wriggling dildo and call it the Nancy Elliot.

  72. mookworthjwilson

    [re=512504]Hutch[/re]: The way she describes the penis as “wriggling” or “wiggling” makes me think she has never actually seen a penis, and has definitely never seen one in action.

  73. Hutch

    [re=512509]mookworthjwilson[/re]: So, they don’t really wriggle? I didn’t think so. I’ve seen quite a few–none wriggled for me–excrement or nonexcement-wise.

  74. BeWoot

    [re=512044]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m pretty sure the warty troll on the right was thinking, buttsecks is not normal … it’s special. (And also thinking, please don’t put this clip on the web.)

  75. populucious

    Homosexuality I got no problem with. Listening to an endless parade of lemon-sucking Republicans worried about anything that might dislodge the stick up their asses I got big problems with.

  76. Rotundo

    [re=512151]Mojopo[/re]: Turtlehead? I always heard it referred to as “Prarie Dogging”. As in “Pull over Dad, I gotta go, I’m prarie doggin’ here!”.

  77. Dashboard_Buddha

    Sweet fucking mercy…I finally got a chance to actually watch the video and the look on her face as she’s describing the last time she was anally fucked is just priceless.

    Oh…and she’s a lying sack of shit. I live not far from her district and I can read the fucking paper. If some teacher we making kids draws pictures of men fucking, the citizenry would have been down on the school with torches, pitchforks and all.

  78. Flanders

    OK. I’ve had me some anal in my life, in every combination, permutation and variation that me and my hetero partner(s) could come up with. And never, in all my years, does “wiggling around in excrement” describe those activities. Nancy, UR DOIN IT RONG.

    She’s still cool with pegging, though, right?

  79. travilea

    Why is she thinking about anal sex and man-on-man penetration? She should worry about penetration to herself. With all that thinking she does – she should be wondering why she isn’t getting it in that big floppy mess in her ‘never’regions. Some one needs to poke her in the butt and put it in her mouth- Miss PottyMouth !

  80. Jukesgrrl

    [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: “Pretty much anything sounds disgusting if you want it to.”

    Like, for instance, childbirth. And I’m sure she considers that the PURPOSE of a penis being “wriggled around” in a slimy vagina that possibly still has some urine drops in it.

  81. Dolmance

    She’s demonstrating an obsession that is supposed to go away at around four to five years of age. Definitely arrested development.

    Republicans are united by pathology and low IQ’s.

  82. travilea

    I was on the shitter last night and started thinking of Nancy Elliott. Why would anyone want Nancy representing them in the bedroom? Then I poo’d a little more. I was taken back to a class on the “how” our digestive system works. And the only one full of shit here is Nancy Elliott!

    Learn about your intestines and your anus… ps. You have a vagina – Nancy. Get a mirror and have a looksy! That is what you need to wonder about.

    If you would take your head out of your ass – you would probably see the world has better things to worry about than what you are wondering so much about.

  83. Lono65

    “..and I have to think…I’m not sure…would I allow that to be done to me? All of us…it could happen to you. Would you like that to happen to you?”

    Mrs Elliott, are you trying to seduce me?

  84. rambone

    [re=512652]american mutt[/re]: [re=512671]rambone[/re]:

    You can find the entire link in all of its glory here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KB8eyr0mW0o

    I dunno why youtube keeps removing the links but it’s kinda inconsiderate, what with Valentine’s Day approaching and all. I need all the pointers I can get!

  85. ufouricsenior

    Ms. Nancy Elliott is a Dickhead. Since when does she think that
    heterosexual individuals do not engage in anal sex. It is used
    as a method of “Birth Control”. Get a live DUDESS.

  86. jus_wonderin

    [re=512040]freakishlystrong[/re]: LOL. I am stifling snickers here too. I mean, you folks are hilarious!!! I must visit more often.

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