Today’s WaPo Columns: Better Than Crapping Your Pants

  'Krauthammer: Obama failed on space'

Friday is a special day at the beloved Washington Post opinion center: the day when you, the reader, are most likely to look at the front-page teasers on washingtonpost.com and burst into hysterical laughter, without clicking on any of them. The rotation just works out this way!

Let’s run through it: Michael Gerson thinks Obama is a fag; Michael Mukasey thinks Obama is a fag; Charles Krauthammer has literally written a column that is teased, “Obama failed on space,” because he thinks Obama is a fag, about space; Eugene Robinson chimes in with the trenchant observation that Sarah Palin is hypocritical; “Huffman” wants to end Valentine’s Day, so thanks for that, Huffman; Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag; and Tom Toles drew a picture about why Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag.

Basically, why has Obama failed at torturing people and bombing Iran and Winning Outer Space?

…Huffman?

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

43 comments

  1. V572625694

    Locomotive-American Charles Krauthammer seeks weightlessness and doesn’t care how much the taxpayer has to come up with to make it available to him.

  2. Surfeit O'

    Shouldn’t the headline for Robinson’s column read, “Sarah Palin is an elitist, also too”?

    I see Bill Kristol is still trying to get lots of people killed. It’s important to have a cause you’re passionate about.

  3. Autoo

    End Valentines Day? That’s a bit drastic. I think we should just alternate; on odd years it’s Valentines Day, on even years it’s Steak And A Blowjob Day. This is an even year, right?

  4. SayItWithWookies

    “Ugly but Necessary” pretty much sums up the opinion page, too. Except that being half-right is an unusually good score for them. Oh, and Huffman was the winner of the WaPo’s next great pundit contest — remember that? Me neither.

  5. x111e7thst

    Why won’t Obama declare the lot of them Enemy Combatants and ship them to Gitmo?
    (Huffman too, who gives a fuck about that guy)
    It must be that Obama is in fact a fag.

  6. qwerty42

    I believe the idea is that more torture and killing is needed to uphold American ideals. These people are on drugs. Very powerful drugs. Not the fun kind, either.

  7. JMP

    Just based on the headlines, I agree with the Huffman piece. Fuckin’ Hallmark holiday designed to make those of us who are alone feel even more depressed about it than usual.

    Nice to see Krauthammer shows that the Post conservatives (read: all columnists except Robinson) don’t only care about killing people. Of course, most actual astronomers I’ve read agree with Obama’s proposed changes for NASA; since most useful science comes from unmanned probes, while sending people into space does little beyond PR.

  8. glamourdammerung

    [re=511967]Larry McAwful[/re]:
    If Charles Krauthammer wants to go to the moon, I’ll gladly take a tax hike to send him there.

    Only if I can refer to him as “space cripple”.

  9. lightninglouie

    [re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: Little known fact: Guided By Voices’ “Tractor Rape Chain” is all about how Krauthammer’s columns drove Bob Pollard to drink.

  10. WadISay

    Gerson concludes America can regain its symbolism (whatever that is) by praying the rosary, I’m guessing. No need to read the article.

  11. Birdcrash

    The only thing missing in today’s Wapo is David Broder giving Sarah Palin’s tits a squeeze and declaring them “very lady-like”.

  12. This Cat

    Did you guys have to eat intern Riley, or send him to Whole Foods in the wilderness? Certainly there must be some magic left in that old top hat he found.

  13. JMP

    [re=511988]lightninglouie[/re]: I thought he was the unseen title character from a Christopher Guest improv movie.

  14. V572625694

    [re=511969]The Church of Realism[/re]: Some other poster here coined that juicy sobriquet for Dr Krauthammer, as he is confined to a motorized wheelchair.

  15. ExecutorElassus

    [re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: I believe it was a reference to his use of a wheelchair, which is insulting to Trig.

    [re=511993]Birdcrash[/re]: Or whatsisname writing another of his interminable columns about the random impoverished moppet that died from neglect/drugs/whatever. Won’t the WaPo think of the children??

  16. McDuff

    Pipes, Kristol, Palin, and other Repubs want to bomb Iran and say Obama can save his presidency by doing so. If Obama were to do so, Pipes, Kristol, Palin and the other Repubs would publically go apeshit and say he’s waging the dog to save his presidency. If Obama doesn’t bomb Iran, they will say he’s siding with the terrorists. No Wa-Po writer will dare call out the Repub strategy, leaving it to Keith Olbermann to yell about it to his 127 viewers.

    It’s a win-win-win-win for the Republicans!

  17. Red Zeppelin

    Do we really need a bunch of old men telling us what to think? Is this the business model of print journalism? That is why I prefer papers like Wonkette.

  18. Mad Brahms

    Can I propose that anyone who still thinks the phrase “regime change” is acceptable should be beaten severely about the head, and left to to stew in their own blood so they can “think about their choices”? Because really, that would be best for the nation, I think.

  19. Come here a minute

    If the Valentine’s Op-Ed is not written by Felicity H. Muffman, I don’t want to read it. And I will not click to find out.

    Subject: Tip.. About what?
    From: Come here a minute
    To: Washington Post
    Cc: bob

    How your paper sucks.

  20. ManchuCandidate

    I’d like an end to VD, too.

    Speaking of venereal diseases, it looks like WaPo’s been infected with Bushtard Neoboob Herpes Simplex One and 666.

  21. V572625694

    Another good name for Krauthammer would be “fucking retard.”

    [re=512012]Red Zeppelin[/re]: The only trouble with papers like Wonkette is that you can’t line a bird cage with them or wrap fish in them.

  22. SayItWithWookies

    [re=512013]Mad Brahms[/re]: Let’s not go doing things hastily — if we take some time and plan this right, we can sell tickets and refreshments and make a profit.

  23. TubeCity

    Effin’ Valentine’s Day! Just after surviving the holiday season juggling two lovers, Wham! suddenly there’s this one special night for effin’ with your one special lover. What a jam. …

    That’s his point, right?

  24. betterDeadThanRed

    I think the only reason that any conservatives give a damn about the cuts to the manned space program is that it will reduce foreign aid to countries like Alabama and Texas.

  25. CorkPopper

    [re=512029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I second the motion. All in favor? All opposed? Motion passed, I’ll bring the popcorn and beer.

  26. Accordion-o-rama

    [re=511964]V572625694[/re]: Actually, the entire WaPo editorial staff have achieved weightlessness.

  27. snideinplainsight

    Next up: Krauthhammer opines meaninglessly on the federal goals and funding levels for deep-sea research.

Comments are closed.