Friday is a special day at the beloved Washington Post opinion center: the day when you, the reader, are most likely to look at the front-page teasers on and burst into hysterical laughter, without clicking on any of them. The rotation just works out this way!

Let’s run through it: Michael Gerson thinks Obama is a fag; Michael Mukasey thinks Obama is a fag; Charles Krauthammer has literally written a column that is teased, “Obama failed on space,” because he thinks Obama is a fag, about space; Eugene Robinson chimes in with the trenchant observation that Sarah Palin is hypocritical; “Huffman” wants to end Valentine’s Day, so thanks for that, Huffman; Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag; and Tom Toles drew a picture about why Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag.

Basically, why has Obama failed at torturing people and bombing Iran and Winning Outer Space?


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  1. Shouldn’t the headline for Robinson’s column read, “Sarah Palin is an elitist, also too”?

    I see Bill Kristol is still trying to get lots of people killed. It’s important to have a cause you’re passionate about.

  2. End Valentines Day? That’s a bit drastic. I think we should just alternate; on odd years it’s Valentines Day, on even years it’s Steak And A Blowjob Day. This is an even year, right?

  3. “Ugly but Necessary” pretty much sums up the opinion page, too. Except that being half-right is an unusually good score for them. Oh, and Huffman was the winner of the WaPo’s next great pundit contest — remember that? Me neither.

  4. Why won’t Obama declare the lot of them Enemy Combatants and ship them to Gitmo?
    (Huffman too, who gives a fuck about that guy)
    It must be that Obama is in fact a fag.

  5. I believe the idea is that more torture and killing is needed to uphold American ideals. These people are on drugs. Very powerful drugs. Not the fun kind, either.

  6. Just based on the headlines, I agree with the Huffman piece. Fuckin’ Hallmark holiday designed to make those of us who are alone feel even more depressed about it than usual.

    Nice to see Krauthammer shows that the Post conservatives (read: all columnists except Robinson) don’t only care about killing people. Of course, most actual astronomers I’ve read agree with Obama’s proposed changes for NASA; since most useful science comes from unmanned probes, while sending people into space does little beyond PR.

  7. [re=511967]Larry McAwful[/re]:
    If Charles Krauthammer wants to go to the moon, I’ll gladly take a tax hike to send him there.

    Only if I can refer to him as “space cripple”.

  8. [re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: Little known fact: Guided By Voices’ “Tractor Rape Chain” is all about how Krauthammer’s columns drove Bob Pollard to drink.

  9. Did you guys have to eat intern Riley, or send him to Whole Foods in the wilderness? Certainly there must be some magic left in that old top hat he found.

  10. [re=511969]The Church of Realism[/re]: Some other poster here coined that juicy sobriquet for Dr Krauthammer, as he is confined to a motorized wheelchair.

  11. [re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: I believe it was a reference to his use of a wheelchair, which is insulting to Trig.

    [re=511993]Birdcrash[/re]: Or whatsisname writing another of his interminable columns about the random impoverished moppet that died from neglect/drugs/whatever. Won’t the WaPo think of the children??

  12. Pipes, Kristol, Palin, and other Repubs want to bomb Iran and say Obama can save his presidency by doing so. If Obama were to do so, Pipes, Kristol, Palin and the other Repubs would publically go apeshit and say he’s waging the dog to save his presidency. If Obama doesn’t bomb Iran, they will say he’s siding with the terrorists. No Wa-Po writer will dare call out the Repub strategy, leaving it to Keith Olbermann to yell about it to his 127 viewers.

    It’s a win-win-win-win for the Republicans!

  13. Do we really need a bunch of old men telling us what to think? Is this the business model of print journalism? That is why I prefer papers like Wonkette.

  14. Can I propose that anyone who still thinks the phrase “regime change” is acceptable should be beaten severely about the head, and left to to stew in their own blood so they can “think about their choices”? Because really, that would be best for the nation, I think.

  15. If the Valentine’s Op-Ed is not written by Felicity H. Muffman, I don’t want to read it. And I will not click to find out.

    Subject: Tip.. About what?
    From: Come here a minute
    To: Washington Post
    Cc: bob

    How your paper sucks.

  16. I’d like an end to VD, too.

    Speaking of venereal diseases, it looks like WaPo’s been infected with Bushtard Neoboob Herpes Simplex One and 666.

  17. Another good name for Krauthammer would be “fucking retard.”

    [re=512012]Red Zeppelin[/re]: The only trouble with papers like Wonkette is that you can’t line a bird cage with them or wrap fish in them.

  18. [re=512013]Mad Brahms[/re]: Let’s not go doing things hastily — if we take some time and plan this right, we can sell tickets and refreshments and make a profit.

  19. Effin’ Valentine’s Day! Just after surviving the holiday season juggling two lovers, Wham! suddenly there’s this one special night for effin’ with your one special lover. What a jam. …

    That’s his point, right?

  20. I think the only reason that any conservatives give a damn about the cuts to the manned space program is that it will reduce foreign aid to countries like Alabama and Texas.

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