'KRAUTHAMMER: OBAMA FAILED ON SPACE'  10:41 am February 12, 2010

Today’s WaPo Columns: Better Than Crapping Your Pants

by Jim Newell

Friday is a special day at the beloved Washington Post opinion center: the day when you, the reader, are most likely to look at the front-page teasers on washingtonpost.com and burst into hysterical laughter, without clicking on any of them. The rotation just works out this way!

Let’s run through it: Michael Gerson thinks Obama is a fag; Michael Mukasey thinks Obama is a fag; Charles Krauthammer has literally written a column that is teased, “Obama failed on space,” because he thinks Obama is a fag, about space; Eugene Robinson chimes in with the trenchant observation that Sarah Palin is hypocritical; “Huffman” wants to end Valentine’s Day, so thanks for that, Huffman; Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag; and Tom Toles drew a picture about why Bill Kristol thinks Obama is a fag.

Basically, why has Obama failed at torturing people and bombing Iran and Winning Outer Space?


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V572625694 February 12, 2010 at 10:48 am

Locomotive-American Charles Krauthammer seeks weightlessness and doesn’t care how much the taxpayer has to come up with to make it available to him.

Larry McAwful February 12, 2010 at 10:51 am

If Charles Krauthammer wants to go to the moon, I’ll gladly take a tax hike to send him there.

Surfeit O' February 12, 2010 at 10:52 am

Shouldn’t the headline for Robinson’s column read, “Sarah Palin is an elitist, also too”?

I see Bill Kristol is still trying to get lots of people killed. It’s important to have a cause you’re passionate about.

The Church of Realism February 12, 2010 at 10:55 am

[re=511964]V572625694[/re]: Charles Krauthammer pulls trains?

Autoo February 12, 2010 at 10:56 am

End Valentines Day? That’s a bit drastic. I think we should just alternate; on odd years it’s Valentines Day, on even years it’s Steak And A Blowjob Day. This is an even year, right?

SayItWithWookies February 12, 2010 at 10:57 am

“Ugly but Necessary” pretty much sums up the opinion page, too. Except that being half-right is an unusually good score for them. Oh, and Huffman was the winner of the WaPo’s next great pundit contest — remember that? Me neither.

x111e7thst February 12, 2010 at 10:59 am

Why won’t Obama declare the lot of them Enemy Combatants and ship them to Gitmo?
(Huffman too, who gives a fuck about that guy)
It must be that Obama is in fact a fag.

Monsieur Grumpe February 12, 2010 at 11:02 am

Washington Post:
Literary litter box of the world.

qwerty42 February 12, 2010 at 11:02 am

I believe the idea is that more torture and killing is needed to uphold American ideals. These people are on drugs. Very powerful drugs. Not the fun kind, either.

AxmxZ February 12, 2010 at 11:03 am

WaPo is like a YA newspaper for 13-year-old boys.

TGY February 12, 2010 at 11:04 am

The Washington Post is a …paper, right?

JMP February 12, 2010 at 11:05 am

Just based on the headlines, I agree with the Huffman piece. Fuckin’ Hallmark holiday designed to make those of us who are alone feel even more depressed about it than usual.

Nice to see Krauthammer shows that the Post conservatives (read: all columnists except Robinson) don’t only care about killing people. Of course, most actual astronomers I’ve read agree with Obama’s proposed changes for NASA; since most useful science comes from unmanned probes, while sending people into space does little beyond PR.

jodyleek February 12, 2010 at 11:05 am

[re=511969]The Church of Realism[/re]: I don’t know about trains, but he certainly is a puller.

lightninglouie February 12, 2010 at 11:13 am

Wasn’t “Huffman” a character from the late period (post-Larry David) Seinfeld?

glamourdammerung February 12, 2010 at 11:14 am

[re=511967]Larry McAwful[/re]:
If Charles Krauthammer wants to go to the moon, I’ll gladly take a tax hike to send him there.

Only if I can refer to him as “space cripple”.

lightninglouie February 12, 2010 at 11:15 am

[re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: Little known fact: Guided By Voices’ “Tractor Rape Chain” is all about how Krauthammer’s columns drove Bob Pollard to drink.

Cape Clod February 12, 2010 at 11:15 am

Oh God, just kill this paper, please?

WadISay February 12, 2010 at 11:15 am

Gerson concludes America can regain its symbolism (whatever that is) by praying the rosary, I’m guessing. No need to read the article.

Birdcrash February 12, 2010 at 11:16 am

The only thing missing in today’s Wapo is David Broder giving Sarah Palin’s tits a squeeze and declaring them “very lady-like”.

This Cat February 12, 2010 at 11:16 am

Did you guys have to eat intern Riley, or send him to Whole Foods in the wilderness? Certainly there must be some magic left in that old top hat he found.

norbizness February 12, 2010 at 11:18 am

Krauthammer just crapped his adult diapers with a Sputnik flashback.

This Cat February 12, 2010 at 11:19 am

Oh,maybe you have him out brushing the snow off your cars. If so, well done.

JMP February 12, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=511988]lightninglouie[/re]: I thought he was the unseen title character from a Christopher Guest improv movie.

V572625694 February 12, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=511969]The Church of Realism[/re]: Some other poster here coined that juicy sobriquet for Dr Krauthammer, as he is confined to a motorized wheelchair.

ExecutorElassus February 12, 2010 at 11:23 am

[re=511983]jodyleek[/re]: I believe it was a reference to his use of a wheelchair, which is insulting to Trig.

[re=511993]Birdcrash[/re]: Or whatsisname writing another of his interminable columns about the random impoverished moppet that died from neglect/drugs/whatever. Won’t the WaPo think of the children??

McDuff February 12, 2010 at 11:25 am

Pipes, Kristol, Palin, and other Repubs want to bomb Iran and say Obama can save his presidency by doing so. If Obama were to do so, Pipes, Kristol, Palin and the other Repubs would publically go apeshit and say he’s waging the dog to save his presidency. If Obama doesn’t bomb Iran, they will say he’s siding with the terrorists. No Wa-Po writer will dare call out the Repub strategy, leaving it to Keith Olbermann to yell about it to his 127 viewers.

It’s a win-win-win-win for the Republicans!

Red Zeppelin February 12, 2010 at 11:26 am

Do we really need a bunch of old men telling us what to think? Is this the business model of print journalism? That is why I prefer papers like Wonkette.

Mad Brahms February 12, 2010 at 11:27 am

Can I propose that anyone who still thinks the phrase “regime change” is acceptable should be beaten severely about the head, and left to to stew in their own blood so they can “think about their choices”? Because really, that would be best for the nation, I think.

Come here a minute February 12, 2010 at 11:28 am

If the Valentine’s Op-Ed is not written by Felicity H. Muffman, I don’t want to read it. And I will not click to find out.

Subject: Tip.. About what?
From: Come here a minute
To: Washington Post
Cc: bob

How your paper sucks.

ManchuCandidate February 12, 2010 at 11:30 am

I’d like an end to VD, too.

Speaking of venereal diseases, it looks like WaPo’s been infected with Bushtard Neoboob Herpes Simplex One and 666.

V572625694 February 12, 2010 at 11:33 am

Another good name for Krauthammer would be “fucking retard.”

[re=512012]Red Zeppelin[/re]: The only trouble with papers like Wonkette is that you can’t line a bird cage with them or wrap fish in them.

SayItWithWookies February 12, 2010 at 11:37 am

[re=512013]Mad Brahms[/re]: Let’s not go doing things hastily — if we take some time and plan this right, we can sell tickets and refreshments and make a profit.

TubeCity February 12, 2010 at 11:49 am

Effin’ Valentine’s Day! Just after surviving the holiday season juggling two lovers, Wham! suddenly there’s this one special night for effin’ with your one special lover. What a jam. …

That’s his point, right?

betterDeadThanRed February 12, 2010 at 11:52 am

I think the only reason that any conservatives give a damn about the cuts to the manned space program is that it will reduce foreign aid to countries like Alabama and Texas.

boyhowdy February 12, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=511980]TGY[/re]: Once upon a time, dear, it was.

bitchincamaro February 12, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Hey Krautthammer, tell it to a guy that walked on the moon.



FlownOver February 12, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Let’s see…

Nope. Crapping your pants is definitely better.

Hooray For Anything February 12, 2010 at 12:59 pm

[re=512160]bitchincamaro[/re]: Don’t you know astronauts are elitists?

CorkPopper February 12, 2010 at 1:28 pm

[re=512029]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I second the motion. All in favor? All opposed? Motion passed, I’ll bring the popcorn and beer.

Accordion-o-rama February 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm

[re=511964]V572625694[/re]: Actually, the entire WaPo editorial staff have achieved weightlessness.

snideinplainsight February 12, 2010 at 3:36 pm

Next up: Krauthhammer opines meaninglessly on the federal goals and funding levels for deep-sea research.

Tommmcatt February 12, 2010 at 4:38 pm

Today’s WaPo Columns: Marginally Better Than Crapping Your Pants.


billy rubin February 12, 2010 at 5:38 pm

Today’s WaPo Columns: Indistinguishable with Crapping Your Pants.

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