Once upon a time there was a cabal of psychotic rapey naked jackasses who liked to “gallivant around nearly nude” in Afghanistan and Iraq when they weren’t busy scaring the shit out of local residents and occasionally murdering them. This cabal was called “Blackwater,” and it was quite a scandal, all the rapey psychotic murderous things they did! But then they changed their name to “Xe” and magically overnight all their problems went away. Alas, now some former Blackwater employee is stirring the pot again by saying that the company billed the US government for the use of one (1) hooker in Kabul, which was unethical.
The troubled American private security company Blackwater faced fresh controversy today when two former employees accused it of defrauding the US government for years, including billing for a Filipina prostitute on its payroll in Afghanistan.
According to Melan Davis, a former employee, Blackwater listed the woman for payment under the “morale welfare recreation” category.
The company, which allegedly employed her in Kabul, billed the government for her plane tickets and monthly salary, Davis said.
Ha ha, surely this tale of LITERALLY wanton accounting fraud is the last embarrassing story to come out of Blackwater in Afghanistan! There couldn’t possibly be anything worse than keeping a single prostitute on the Kabul payroll!
Blackwater accused of defrauding US government [Guardian]
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But, but, some poor black person might be getting help with their taxes!
I wuz all HAH! and then I wuz HUH? And then yes, Daisy is a prostitute.
I have no doubt in my mind that James O’Keefe will get to the bottom of this!
I thought Blackwater was a bunch of Christers, isn’t Xe the name of the crazy Scientology god? What gives here?
As Erik Prince often asks himself, “WWJD”: “Who would Jesus defraud?”
Don’t forget that the founder of Blackwater views his work as a religious crusade. A religious crusade with a hooker on the payroll, but a religious crusade none the less.
Don’t be silly, it was just Hannah Giles with scotch tape on her eyes.
Malkin?
This is probably the least immoral thing I’ve ever heard of Blackwater/XE doing.
[re=511916]Terry[/re]: That is exactly who we should have leading our mercenaries in Muslim countries; they just love crusades.
One man’s “prostitute” is another man’s “bartender” or “waitress” in the Blackwater Cafe in Kabul. Sort of like Jenny Sanford serving as Mark’s campaign manager.
It’s all just treading water until we find the right time to nuke ‘em.
One (1) hooker only? Are the Blackwater/XE thugs merely weak pansies who must have a prostitute for “show”, while they butt-fuck each other on the downlow?
Yes.
Eight commenters before Malkin’s name came up? You guys are slipping. But, yes, it was her.
Ummmm, what does this have to do with ACORN? Unless the scandal involves poor brown people (not counting the Fillina prostitute) does anyone in American really care?
Also, surely there were some hot Afghani hookers they could have hired instead of flying one straight from the Philippines. Blackwater, shouldn’t you be trying to work with the locals?
This fits neatly with Blackwater’s stated purpose of wiping out everything remotely Muslim in the world, and being totally non-Muslim. Because the exact opposite of killing yourself for the sake of getting 72 virgins is killing other people for the sake of getting one non-virgin. Theology!
[re=511921]JMP[/re]:
“This is probably the least immoral thing I’ve ever heard of Blackwater/XE doing.”
I guess it’s a step up from their normal activities, such as rape and murder.
Boys will be boys…
Yo, she be Xe Ho.
Tagline FTW.
[re=511929]JMP[/re]: Hearts and minds! And pussies, and asses, and of course, mouths.
Compared to the underaged sex slaves Blackwater was keeping in the balkans, this is actually a major step up.
[re=511925]Barcode of the Apocalypse[/re]: Oh, I get it now. They pay her to watch. I hope she gets paid well.
[re=511930]Larry McAwful[/re]: I thought it was 40 virgins and a mule.
So Ahhh, what exactly are the troops doing with their time, given the slim chance of the local Muslim women putting out? Ooops sorry, Pashtun language tapes. I should have known that.
Why are there no other posts with #double entry bookkeeping? I love double entry bookkeeping! It’s the shit!
[re=511942]Paul Tardy[/re]: It’s just a slim chance of local Muslim women putting out of their own free will; you must have missed the part about the frequent rapes by Blackwater mercs.
Talk about sloppy gazillions.
Memo to the media: you know, you might find it easier to avoid constantly using needlessly long phrases like “private security company” and “independent contractors” to describe groups like Blackwater. There’s already a simple, single word that describes what these companies do: mercenaries. It’s a pretty common word, and I’m surprised you’ve never heard of it. Why don’t you use the basic existing word for these douchebags instead of overly long euphemisms?
Define “Hooker”. From what I could see they had nothing but hookers on their payroll. A lot of them were armed and shot people.
[re=511916]Terry[/re]: Hey, Jesus consorted with hookers, right? So except for the fucking part, they’re being completely Christ-like.
They should be commended for negotiating a monthly salary, I am sure the cost would have been much higher on a “piece-work” basis.
Honestly, you gotta love that the whole Catholic-righteousness thing is used when it comes to renewing the crusades, but not when we’re talking about sexual morality.
[re=511948]JMP[/re]: Ha ha, it’s just like the “detainees” at Gitmo. You can’t call them “convicts” because they haven’t been convicted of anything. But you sure as shit can call them “prisoners.”
[re=511952]CorkPopper[/re]: Hey now, you’ve got to pretty naive to believe that one of Jesus’ best friends was a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold who had a big crush on him, and he never actually got any from her. Unless he was actually gay.
[re=511929]JMP[/re]: Most hookers in Kabul are Chinese. But I guess that was simply an unacceptable security risk for the folks at B’water
The proper protocol has always been that soldiers pay for their own hookers. If it gets out that Blackwater (now Xe, which, you have to admit, makes it sound like it’s in the business of erotic services) is paying for the hookers, then nobody will want to join the military. That’s the real problem here.
Daisy say: Five dollars! Love you long time! Quack, quack!
[re=511920]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well played, sir.
[re=511945]Hedley Lamar[/re]: Frankly, I am impressed at their fiscal conservatism. They could have brought in an entire harem, but instead kept one whore for dozens or hundreds of contractors. Talk about roughing it.
Morale welfare recreation was a prostitute.
Cleaning services was a Louisiana stripper
http://edition.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/02/12/blackwater.suit/
[re=511948]JMP[/re]: Because if you say “mercenary” then groups like Xe and America’s Police Force will get a major sad. But yeah, let’s just come straight out and call a spade a spade: “Hired Guns,” or if they really want to keep the “contract” part of the euphemism, Contract Killers.
To echo earlier commenters, this is one of the least offensive things Blackwater has done yet. If it distracts them from raping and murdering the shit out of people we are purportedly there to ‘liberate’, it is our duty as moral human beings to provide Blackwater with all the hookers they can handle.
So basically, we’re paying them to not rape local children, like Dr. Laura’s son, Deryk would enjoy.
SKS, you are so going to hear from an army of Disney lawyers. You may already be dead as I write this.
[re=511959]JMP[/re]: Not at naive as you have to be to believe that Jesus’s mother was a virgin. Once you’ve swallowed that one, believing he never got any action from Mary Magdalene is easy.
[re=511966]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “Morale welfare recreation”?
Eh, so that’s what the kids are calling it these days? These kids are taking all the fun out it.
Oh, me sooo horny!
Surely if the best use of our tax dollar is not to support our troops, then it must be to give our mercenaries a hummer.
[re=511920]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You beat me to the obvious joke.
[re=511977]CorkPopper[/re]: Not just that she was a virgin; virgin births were a dime a dozen in the ancient world, with many gods (particularly Zeus) constantly running around and knocking up mortals; but at least according to the Catholic church, that she remained one her whole life, despite being marries, and the Bible containing explicit reference to his brothers and sisters. The Catholics justify that by claiming Joseph must have been married and widowed previously, despite there being absolutely nothing in their book which indicates that.
[re=511920]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Malkin
It’s about time Donald figured out where Huey, Dewey and Louie came from. Not to mention Daisy’s Ferrari — she did not win it at the raffle at the county fair after all.
Does no one consider it icky that one pro was apparently passed around hundreds of mercs? THINK OF THE ICK, PEOPLE!
I never knew gubment fuck-ups to take their jobs so literally. I’m sure there will Civil Rights issues. No recreational resources for the man-dog crowd? No insects for the formicaphilliacs?
[re=511958]V572625694[/re]: Detainees is more like those who cut up in class and have to stay after. Its not like they’re in an actual prison, its really a series of beach cabanas. with torture
[re=511916]Terry[/re]: They’re the new Christers. That shit applies to liberalz, who are godless and need it, but the Christers are all saved already so they get a pass on their sins. To simplify it, Jesus died for theirs sins, not yours, you stupid Democrats.
[re=511929]JMP[/re]: ” hot Afghani hookers”
I confess that the first thing I thought of was a woman dressed in all that shit they wear over there.
What, they had to fly in the HOOKERS? Yeesh, I understand why Iraqis complain about all the no-bid contracts going to foreign companies that hire foreign labor. Even the local whores can’t get a break from it.
One lousy hooker?! No wonder they were running around raping and killing everybody! Unless they were engaging in some kind of “Blackwater Bukkake”. The gummint is paying these guy zillions of dollars and they have to share the same hooker? They should get some kind of fiscal responsibility medal, and tetanus shots.
[re=511948]JMP[/re]: I prefer “Soldier of Fortune,” like the old teevee series. But, yeah, they’re all just merceneries and I’m tired of them being given labels meant to hide what they are.
[re=512022]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s like how Bush had the US use “enhanced interrogation techniques”, not torture; or “collateral damage” instead of blowing up innocent civilians. We’re not supposed to do anything bad, so when we do people just change the words.
I’m not really sure what the big deal is? I keep several on my payroll.
Daisy got busted for soliciting. When they were going through her personal effects at the station, they found $42.25. One of the cops says, “Daisy, who gave you the quarter?” Daisy says, shaking her head, “Everybody.” I am only surprised that they just had one hooker.
The hooker(s) had to be from outside the country because they came without IED’s.
Them good ol Blackwater boys didn’t want things blowing up in their faces when they hit the jackpot.
You don’t get it…she was just there as an advisor, for “training purposes”…
Hey Libtards;
The Prostitute was brought in to keep the number of rapes under the legal limit. You lefties want it both ways; No hookers AND no rapes? How’s that for Hopey/Changey?
So then would her specialty be Xe-GFE?
[re=511948]JMP[/re]: My great wish politics is that everyone could read and understand George Orwell’s essay “Politics and the English Language.” Reading that one is slightly depressing but makes me feel better in some way because there truly is nothing new under the sun. Evil has been excused with muddled language for a long time.
[re=512156]Barry White Zombie[/re]: Great wish *for* politics, you moron. When your post is about writing clearly you should write clearly.
[re=512003]Rock Ripsnort[/re]: Don’t you remember the big brouhaha over the “totally straight” parties over at the Kabul embassy, with security contractors shooting vodka and eating chips out of each others’ assholes? There’s no “passing around” going on here, that hooker is getting money for NOTHING.
[re=511975]WadISay[/re]: The lawyers of Mauschwitz are coming for her!
I had a lawyer friend who worked for them and that was their “Just Joshing” term for the Happy Kingdom…
Question: When will Wonkette set up this policy for it’s loyal Wonketteers?
[re=511910]The Huffington Pogue[/re]: I say we take up a fund to send O’Keefe over to Afghanistan in his pimp out fit.
Daisy was a HO??????
no wonder poor innocent Donald could never find his pants
Malkin would do it for free. She loves our troops.
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