email of the day

One Of Jim Inhofe’s Malevolent Snowmen Wishes Global Warming Were Not A Scam But It Just Is

Here’s is a letter that was stuck to the side of the mailbag yesterday and has remained tragically unread, until now. It is signed “A Concerned Citizen” and its seriousness literally cannot be overstated.

from: [redacted]@verizon.net
to: tips@wonkette.com
date: Wed, Feb 10, 2010 at 6:08 PM
subject: Re: Gore’s Igloo…

“You guys must not have read any news last November and December.  Here’s a tip:  Manmade Global Warming is a scam.  Emails were hacked in England proving that the science was faked.  Gore is a con man.  Copenhagen was a FAIL.  I know it’s galling that Inhofe and Palin are actually right about something.  I hate it.  You hate it.  But there it is.  Deal with it and stop with the dumb-Okie-Inhofe-global-warming jokes already.  You’re just embarrassing yourself…

A Concerned Citizen”

But how does he type so well with twigs for fingers?!

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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

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63 comments

  1. Chain Tattoo

    Copenhagen is not a fail. It has a very nice airport, and a mermaid statue in the harbor. Nothing says “UNFAIL” like a mermaid statue. So deal with it.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    Sigh. I wish that scientists used “global Climate Change” instead of global warming when the Greenhouse effect was first discovered.

    Places that should get snow, aren’t. Places that don’t get snow, do.

    This is what we have today.

    But try explaining that to a person who can barely read and thinks the periodic table has something to do with the menstrual cycle. Like talking to Palin or Inhofe.

  3. Links

    Oh Honey,

    No one who understands what climate change is would be sad, if it turned out to be a scam. “We’re not doomed? We can consume as much as we want without a Soylent Green future? Damn! I hate it,” is not what we libruls would be saying. We would be partying and throwing Al Gore under the bus before you could say “I hate it.” Study our breed a little more before you pretend to be one of us. Nice try though.

    A Concerned Librul

  4. V572625694

    Well, the refined logic in that missive totally changes my mind, and I’m going to set the thermostat to 80 degrees and go out and buy a Hummer now.

    But Inhofe would still be a dumb Okie if he’d been born on West 87th Street in NYC.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Also, Piltdown Man proves that evolution is a fraud. Every fossil in the world was planted by Teilhard de Chardin, who loved to travel around and put human teeth into baboon jaws and leave them in gravel pits everywhere. I don’t want to acknowledge that the earth is only 6,000 years old. I hate it. You hate it. But there it is.

  6. Terry

    On the plus side, this guy’s spelling and grammar are much better than the average rant email sent to Wonkette.

  7. chaste everywhere

    [re=511145]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “But try explaining that to a person who can barely read and thinks the periodic table has something to do with the menstrual cycle.”
    It doesn’t? No wonder my wife kept looking annoyed when I’d get all swoony about “the mysterious chemistry of the feminale body.”
    [re=511150]Darkness[/re]: Who gave us Hans Christian Andersen, Kierkegaard, Carl Nielsen, Victor Borge, and most importantly, cheese danish every morning.

  8. SpikeyDog

    Oh yeah, there’s been a couple of big snow storms, so fuck global warming. This guy must be a big Coast 2 Coast fan. I hope the space aliens are able to find room for him in their flying saucer when his house melts.

  9. Monsieur Grumpe

    Dear A Concerned Citizen (if that is your real name),

    Emails were hacked in England proving that the science was faked. (No it doesn’t you retard)

    Gore is a con man. ( No he isn’t you retard)

    I know it’s galling that Inhofe and Palin are actually right about something.
    (With as much crap as Palin is saying these days she just might be right about something, not in this case you retard)

    You’re just embarrassing yourself… ( Yes, but I’m used to it. How about you?)
    Sincerely,
    Mr. Grumpy

    PS
    URRetard

  10. norbizness

    At the very least, this e-mail dissuade Wonketeers from (1) using ‘FAIL’ as some sort of argumentative fait accompli and (2) employing LOLcatz as cutting-edge humor.

  11. Crank Tango

    Wait a minute, there were dumb okie jokes? I was totally gonna make like ten dumb okie jokes but i didn’t want to offend dustbowlblues. I hate it, you hate it, but there it is.

    Also, eat a bag of yellow snowman dicks, dear concerned citizen.

  12. RoscoePColtraine

    Regarding the hacked emails in England last year (which people have conveniently forgotten) between various factions of fundamentalist Christianity over the issue of Jeebus’s stubborn refusal to fuck, marry, or even have a girlfriend, preferring instead to hang out with his male “buddies;” I hate it, you hate it, but there it is.

  13. gurukalehuru

    Copenhagen was a fail, therefore global warming is not real= cops fail to prevent murders, therefore murders not real.
    Sorry Concerned Citizen, if that is even your real name, we’re going to continue with the dumb okie jokes.

  14. mumblyjoe

    [re=511145]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I’m actually going to disagree on you on this one: “climate change” rather underplays the severity of the consequences if it’s left unchecked, in a way that “warming” doesn’t-. It also leads the the annoying-as-shit and balls-stupid retort, “well, who are *we* to say that this is even the best climate for humans, anyway?”. The biggest problem, I would say, is that people focus overmuch on the warming, and a lot less on the “global” part of that. Even if you don’t notice a local change, it’s still happening.

    At any rate, though, people who point to snowstorms as “proof” that global warming doesn’t happen are idiots, and also ugly. People learn in elementary school that precipitation rate has nothing to do with temperature, much less temperature trends, making the presence or absence of snow, in the coldest weeks of wintertime, kind of a non-sequitor, at best. It’s like trying to say, “What are you talking about, desertification. It rains all the time, in the rainforest. Clearly there’s no such thing!”. Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if Inhofe says things like that, too.

  15. sezme

    Also, Michael Moore once claimed that Canadians never lock their doors, which is untrue, so therefore, because he’s a total fraud, nobody really wants to be covered for all their medical issues regardless of income with nothing out of pocket, like he claims Canadians are, if it means damaging the noble American insurance industry. I hate it. You hate it. But there it is.

  16. Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=511145]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Actually the use of climate change instead of global warming is a Rovian language-fuck trick. Global warming sounds scarier than climate change.

    Of course it’s asking too much to ask of the tinfoil hat brigrade to understand how warming tempatures fuck with established weather patterns.

  17. LittlePig

    Emails were hacked in England proving that the science was faked.

    Just wait until you see the hacked e-mails out of GM. The Chevy Volt runs on gerbils. GERBILS!

  18. mumblyjoe

    Also: “Copenhagen was a fail, therefore global warming doesn’t exist”.

    Yes, because we all know that when developed nations lack the political will to move forcefully on problems that will disproportionately effect poor countries, it always means that those problems don’t actually exist.

    That’s why AIDS stopped existing in the late 90′s, and Malaria and TB in Africa didn’t exist until around 1999. It’s also why people in Haiti only just suddenly became poor, like, three weeks ago. Well, except they kinda did. Well, poorer.

  19. skutre

    [re=511157]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I thought it was the Jews who buried all the fossils to confuse the Christians.

    Hey

    It worked!
    Clever Jews

  20. El Pinche

    Seriously, I’m impressed . No spelling errors, good sentence structure, awesome satire (weather=climate..hahahaha!) . Find some nude pictures of this guy, and he can run for Senate.

  21. PlanetWingnuta

    Hey Concerned Citizen,

    Buttseks

    I hate it. You hate it. That’s the way it is.

    Sincerely,

    Me

    Ps. I’m lying about the I hate it part.

  22. WadISay

    Dear Concerned Citizen:

    You have given the Wonkette Community a lot to think about. I, for one, now realize how wrong it was to describe the time (true story!) Jim Inhofe walked into the Senate holding a moist, steaming, reeking pile of dog shit in his cupped hands, and exclaiming, “Look at what I almost stepped in!”

    Please accept our sincere apologies.

    w

  23. DoktorZoom

    With this enormous snowstorm of historic proportions happening just 4 blocks away, burying vehicles up to their Truck Nutz and affecting government workers, demon sheep, and homescholers alike, I think we may as well recognize the ugly truth: we must award A Concerned Citizen with many, many whore diamonds for granting unto us a new meme. I hate it. You hate it. But there it is.

    –A Concerned Wonketeer

  24. teebob2000

    [re=511148]Links[/re]: LIBTARD: dont u know its not about the real weather. its nobamas plan to put everthing under soshulist muslin control???11? they no global warming is fake and there hiding it from the sheeple so they can pass weather laws and control all the companys and PUT US ALL IN wether-proof CAMPS so we dont realize theirs no problem with the wether!!!!22!! dont you lissen to GLEN BECKK?????

  25. bobwurst

    [re=511159]Terry[/re]: except that he mispelled “cornholed” as “concerned”, but you’re right, other than that, he’s better than your average homscholer…

  26. WhatTheHeck

    Wonkette is embarrassing?

    WTF?

    I come to Wonkette for news, op eds, and sexytime jokes.

    er, ok, so Wonkette is embarrassing.

  27. BlueStateLibtard

    I get similar personal e-mails from relatives everytime it snows, sigh. “Look outside lately? You see, Al Gore’s wrong!”

  28. Ducksworthy

    “Emails were hacked in England proving that the science was faked.”

    That may be a somewhat overly broad interpretation. I think that episode does illustrate an issue that does not occur among the dinosaur riding right. People who think about things sometimes disagree. Oh and since there are no scientists among the dinosaur riding herd they are probably not aware of the fact that some scientists (many, most?) are argumentative and socially inept dorks.

  29. Pithaughn

    They start with a conclusion, cherry pick someone else’s data, put together a press release and FOX/Drudge/Clear channel run with it as a legitimate story.
    I hate it. They love it. And it works.
    We are fucked. I hate it. They love it.
    By they I mean all of thems.

  30. Pithaughn

    [re=511238]Ducksworthy[/re]: True, but there are no better companions to go camping with in SE Utah slick rock , get stoned out of your mind and solve the mysteries of the universe around a juniper wood camp fire. Oh, you need beer and pop tarts also.

  31. geminisunmars

    Now, didn’t I hear something, somewheres, about weather extremes? Extreme droughts and blizzards and such as symptomatic of climate change or globular warming or whatever it is called? Nothing like that happening yet so it must be untrue. And in an unrelated story, Vancouver would like to have DC ship them any extra snow they might have lying around.

  32. Dicentra

    [re=511188]LittlePig[/re]: Yeah, well, now us libtards prolly want to give them gerbils CIVIL RIGHTS. And here we act like we want green energy.

  33. OnYourEnemiesList

    [re=511145]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I totally agree, once again liberals fuck up when it comes to messaging. I think climate change is to soft though, you need to go over the top with it, how about Death Weather? The only thing that seems to be relevant to the troglodytes who make up the majority in this country are phrases which start with death.

  34. Jim89048

    [re=511163]SpikeyDog[/re]: Heh. I live in the hometown of Coast to Coast, but have never listned to it. Which is a shame, because what says buttseks better than Pahrump?

  35. geminisunmars

    [re=511329]OnYourEnemiesList[/re]: Weather Terror! Storm Swarms! Hurricane Bane! Drought Fright!

  36. betterDeadThanRed

    [re=511145]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Actually at this rate we’re looking at “Global Climate Catastrophe”.Hope Mr. A. Concerned Citizen can swim.

  37. petehammer

    “Emails were hacked in England proving that the science was faked.”

    Wait wait wait. Did anyone else read this as “Emails were faked to disprove the science”? I mean, it is written horribly, sure. I agree with him that several legit emails have been altered to disprove the obvious science.

    (But I think he means that “Emails obtained by hackers show the science to be faked”)

  38. mumblyjoe

    [re=511230]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: [re=511227]imissopus[/re]: My favorite part isn’t even the lunacy of being surprised at snow happening in one place once in December and twice in February, and pretending that this is ironclad proof that global temperature trends are not happening, at all.

    Rather, my favorite part is that when most of that snow melts pretty much instantly in the nearly-40-degree weather the next day, not only does that not re-prove global warming after all, but it really isn’t worth mentioning at all, because, isn’t it, like, normal to walk around without a coat in the dead of Winter, up there in the Northeast?

  39. Extemporanus

    [But how does he type so well with twigs for fingers?!

    There must’ve been some magic in that tin foil hat they found.

    Or, perhaps, Urim and Thummim.

  40. comicbookguy

    [re=511329]OnYourEnemiesList[/re]: Death Panels, Death Tax, Death Weather, Culture of Death, Climate of Death…

    Yep, it tests well!

  41. Ozonator

    To date, Jeffry has only predicted an ExxonMobil paycheck. Even with proof found under your Ozonator, Jeffry still is confused by science and non-plastic body parts. “Brilliant: ‘Vagina Monologues’ Creator Tells Palin to Look at ‘Earthquakes and Tsunamis’ for Global Warming Proof” (By Jeff “corporate horror & mentally” Poor; NewsBusters, a tentacle of the Media Research Center, one of LABI Limbaugh’s neuticles of legal international and domestic terrorism through environmental racism and other healthcare abuse; newsbusters.org, 2/9/10). Remember, among extremist Republicans and Christians, wussies are the second most feared shock troops that the GOP sends to force our men, women, ecosystems, and treasury into battle.

  42. boyhowdy

    Dear Concerned,

    Since you are weather-obsessed, you should visit Vancouver, where the Winter Olympics are going to be changed at the last minute to the Golf-and-Tennis Olympics.

    Just sayin’,

    A Warm West Coaster

Comments are closed.