It’s Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn’t Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here

  daily briefing
  • Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). [New York Times]
  • According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. [Washington Post]
  • It is also the anniversary of Iran’s 1979 revolution, and there just protesters everywhere, whose presence historically signals a protest. [Times Online]
  • The government estimates that 95,000 new jobs will be born this month! They will all be called “Kayla” or “Aidan.” [Wall Street Journal]
  • The entire world will finally stop having such terrible weather, as seasonally appropriate snowfall will cease in the mid-Atlantic United States today. [CNN]
  • The Democrats are still going to hold that boring jobs summit, despite it being a snow day and that being not only 110% lame but also unfair and illegal. [The Hill]
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About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

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12 comments

  1. ManchuCandidate

    Well this debt is problematic, it’s systematic, it’s catastrophic
    Why it’s Greece collaspin’!

    We’ll get a German bailout, and Frenchy gold, oh yeah
    Keep talkin’, whoah keep talkin’
    Cash injection inserted, and triple A bonds, oh yeah
    You’ll get the money, I’ll see you get the money
    With the Euro on the floor, they’ll be waitin’ at the door
    You know that ain’t shit when we’ll be lots of dough to stop Greece collapsin’

    Chorus:

    Stop, Greece Collaspin’, you’re burnin’ up the quarter tril
    Greece Collaspin’, Stop Greece Collaspin’
    Stop, Greece Collaspin’, you’re coastin’ through the IMF
    Greece Collaspin’, Stop Greece Collaspin’
    We are desperate, the markets scream for Greece Collaspin’

  2. Sparky McGruff

    [re=511085]Sussemilch[/re]: Goldman Sachs and Iranian Uranium. The rest of us can suck it, apparently.

  3. dijetlo

    [re=511087]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Goldman Sachs

    It’s not that hard to get rich when the government will print money and lend it to you for free.

    Who knew?
    Hopey needs to send out some trucks with ACORN employees tossing out wads of C-notes to the huddled masses standing on the streets, kinda like what their doing for the banks.

  4. Barcode of the Apocalypse

    Yes, it’s snowing in D.C., snowpocalypse, etc., etc. GREETINGS FROM MINNESOTA, wusses.

  5. Sparky McGruff

    [re=511100]dijetlo[/re]: That would be a hell of a “stimulus package”. But the “huddled masses” would probably just blow the money on useless crap like “food”. It’s better to give it to the Wall Streeters who will spend it on fine Colombian blow and primo hookers.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    I am absolutely sure there are some jobs out there named Trig. They usually call me and tell me that my car’s warranty is about to expire.

  7. Autoo

    [re=511127]rmontcal[/re]: Aiden, Jayden, Caden. HAHAHA White people suck.

    That they do. But the brown folks are keeping up their end, too. Let’s hear it for all those preschoolers out there starting out in life hung up with names like LaRonda, DeShawne, Sha’queentia, DeShonda, Latoya, Lemarkus, Jamarcus and Kwayme.

Comments are closed.