DAILY BRIEFING  8:45 am February 11, 2010

It’s Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn’t Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here

by Juli Weiner

  • Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). [New York Times]
  • According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. [Washington Post]
  • It is also the anniversary of Iran’s 1979 revolution, and there just protesters everywhere, whose presence historically signals a protest. [Times Online]
  • The government estimates that 95,000 new jobs will be born this month! They will all be called “Kayla” or “Aidan.” [Wall Street Journal]
  • The entire world will finally stop having such terrible weather, as seasonally appropriate snowfall will cease in the mid-Atlantic United States today. [CNN]
  • The Democrats are still going to hold that boring jobs summit, despite it being a snow day and that being not only 110% lame but also unfair and illegal. [The Hill]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 12 comments }

Sussemilch February 11, 2010 at 9:01 am

Well, at least someone’s getting richer. Way to go, uranium.

ManchuCandidate February 11, 2010 at 9:08 am

Well this debt is problematic, it’s systematic, it’s catastrophic
Why it’s Greece collaspin’!

We’ll get a German bailout, and Frenchy gold, oh yeah
Keep talkin’, whoah keep talkin’
Cash injection inserted, and triple A bonds, oh yeah
You’ll get the money, I’ll see you get the money
With the Euro on the floor, they’ll be waitin’ at the door
You know that ain’t shit when we’ll be lots of dough to stop Greece collapsin’

Chorus:

Stop, Greece Collaspin’, you’re burnin’ up the quarter tril
Greece Collaspin’, Stop Greece Collaspin’
Stop, Greece Collaspin’, you’re coastin’ through the IMF
Greece Collaspin’, Stop Greece Collaspin’
We are desperate, the markets scream for Greece Collaspin’

Sparky McGruff February 11, 2010 at 9:08 am

[re=511085]Sussemilch[/re]: Goldman Sachs and Iranian Uranium. The rest of us can suck it, apparently.

Zadig February 11, 2010 at 9:45 am

It’s going to stop snowing? ZOMG AL GORE WUZ RITE!

dijetlo February 11, 2010 at 9:48 am

[re=511087]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Goldman Sachs

It’s not that hard to get rich when the government will print money and lend it to you for free.

Who knew?
Hopey needs to send out some trucks with ACORN employees tossing out wads of C-notes to the huddled masses standing on the streets, kinda like what their doing for the banks.

Barcode of the Apocalypse February 11, 2010 at 10:07 am

Yes, it’s snowing in D.C., snowpocalypse, etc., etc. GREETINGS FROM MINNESOTA, wusses.

TGY February 11, 2010 at 10:14 am

Gonna move to France to get me some sweet, sweet, free gyros and ouzo.

rmontcal February 11, 2010 at 10:37 am

Aiden, Jayden, Caden. HAHAHA White people suck.

gurukalehuru February 11, 2010 at 10:44 am

Iranian uranium, Iranian uranium, Iranian uranium. Nope, not easy.

Sparky McGruff February 11, 2010 at 11:27 am

[re=511100]dijetlo[/re]: That would be a hell of a “stimulus package”. But the “huddled masses” would probably just blow the money on useless crap like “food”. It’s better to give it to the Wall Streeters who will spend it on fine Colombian blow and primo hookers.

SayItWithWookies February 11, 2010 at 11:28 am

I am absolutely sure there are some jobs out there named Trig. They usually call me and tell me that my car’s warranty is about to expire.

Autoo February 11, 2010 at 11:39 am

[re=511127]rmontcal[/re]: Aiden, Jayden, Caden. HAHAHA White people suck.

That they do. But the brown folks are keeping up their end, too. Let’s hear it for all those preschoolers out there starting out in life hung up with names like LaRonda, DeShawne, Sha’queentia, DeShonda, Latoya, Lemarkus, Jamarcus and Kwayme.

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