in his pants

Scott Brown’s Truck Found Where It Logically Should Be!

Look, a local human was walking by the Russell office building parking lot just yesterday and OH SHIT IT’S SCOTT BROWN’S TRUCK, where he banged Simon Cowell and won the presidency of Massachusetts by beating J. F. Kennedy 100-0 in the snow. He still drives this truck to his new job! Five more authenticity points to this naked monster. Do we still have to wait until 2012 to make him American president? [Second Rain]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Comments

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  • One Yield Regular

    Hmm. Suspicious lack of snowfall on that truck. He clearly doesn’t keep this thing up on concrete blocks in the front yard. Does this everyman have a GARAGE?

  • SloppyCronkite

    Obviously, not man enough or American enough to drive in the snow. East Coast pansies.

  • Sharkey

    Bob Dylan was found sleeping in the cab.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    If that’s 2WD, no way he should be driving it around in the snow, way unsafe. He should be a REAL murrican and get a Humvee. Or a real senator and get a Range Rover or top-o’-the-line Mercedes 4WD Wagon.

  • memzilla

    Minus five whorediamonds if his vehicle does not have TRUCKNUTZ.

  • Sharkey

    Wake me up when Scott Brown’s pants are actually located.

  • Jim89048

    How long before the insurance industry provides him with a car and driver?

  • Poochie

    Hey Mr MassPrez,

    Real men don’t use liners in their truck beds. And what’s with that “rope” you threw in the back? Tying up some purchases from the Pottery Barn?

  • Larry McAwful

    Now you’ve got me wondering: does John McCain drive the Straight Talk Express to work every day?

  • freakishlystrong

    The bumper sticker-age is a monster snowstorm of FAIL.

  • Sharkey

    Kitty litter not good enough for you?

  • Ruhe

    5 authenticity points? Is that like a 1-up in Mario Galaxy?

  • Red Zeppelin

    [re=510592]memzilla[/re]: We demand to know if he has TRUCKNUTZ!!!!!!11111!!!

  • Terry

    what’s he doing in the office during a bonafide blizzard? Afraid that they’ll take the office way from him if he doesn’t occupy it constantly? Perhaps he’s in there banging his first page or intern.

  • El Pinche

    No trucknutz=RINO

  • Fred Wertham Jr.

    I don’t know about DC or Massachusetts, but it’s illegal to obstruct your rear window like that in California.

  • Buttery1000

    Fuck yeah, and it’s Amurican-made. Not that Prissusy Toyota crap with junky gas pedals or breaks or whatever. It’s almost as if Scott Brown’s spirit is near and is yelling, “GET THE FUCK INTO THE TRUCK!”

  • rottenart

    Those are the crookedest stickers I’ve ever seen. I know rednecks with confederate flag and KKK stickers straighter than that.

  • Jim89048

    [re=510635]rottenart[/re]: Not straight=gay, obvs.

  • rottenart

    [re=510655]Jim89048[/re]: That would explain the Triangle flag sticker…

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Where are the empty beer cans?

  • The Toot

    USA Triathlon triangle sticker. Screams douchebaggery.

  • bitchincamaro

    Unseen sticker: I’d Rather Be Tea-Baggin’

  • rottenart

    [re=510704]The Toot[/re]: Oh, is that what it’s for? Honest to god, I was thinking “FSM protects us gay patriots”.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Could one of you Photoshop wizards paste his centerfold image into the bed of that truck?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=510715]bitchincamaro[/re]: Also: “Proud Parent of an American Idol Semi-Finalist”

  • sanantonerose

    [re=510635]rottenart[/re]: Rednecks and the KKK take pride in their work.

    Speaking of KKK, that tie-down rope in the truck bed raises an eyebrow ever so slightly.

  • Up To Here Again

    Hello? Senator?
    We have someone on the line here,
    the distinguished president Zuma of South Africa,
    asking whether your offer from election night still stands. . .

  • stumpycuse

    Palin-Brown or Brown-Palin….