Grover Norquist Hearts John McCain

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Poor old John McCain is having a hard time these days, now that his party has been taken over by nativist ignoramus lunatics who have no respect for an ancient WAR HERO who once teamed up with a liberal Jew to take away Americans’ most precious freedom: the freedom to let Saudi corporations run political ads during the Super Bowl. McCain faces two (2) primary opponents who are always calling him a communist hippie, which has forced him to pretend to be an actual conservative.

Good news for John McCain, though! Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform has endorsed him. This is sort of ironic because nine years ago Jammakain opposed George Bush’s bravest and most important piece of legislation ever, a tax cut for needy plutocrats.

Praising McCain for his long-standing opposition to federal earmarks and his signing of the ATR “Taxpayer Protection Pledge,” Norquist said the 2008 Republican presidential nominee “consistently votes against tax increases and for spending restraint.”

Oh right, earmarks! They were those things that McCain spent half the 2008 campaign getting mad about, and nobody cared, but then Obama got elected and suddenly earmarks were the most terrible thing ever. The point is, please re-elect John McCain so that he can spend his twilight years in DC, eating steaks with Lindsey Graham.

Norquist endorses McCain’s re-election bid [CNN Political Ticker]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • TCDang

    Hilarious-that’s always what I think of when that guy’s name comes up–particularly incongruous when you think of him trying to drown government in a bathtub…

  • gurukalehuru

    Is that Megan’s dad?

  • watershed

    I have a snow day and I’m laughing at a picture of Grover. Apparently I’m seven years old all over again!

  • ManchuCandidate

    “Please don’t make me spend anymore time that Trollop!”
    Jamkane ’10

  • V572625694

    Grover Norquist is as much of a careerist hack as John Edwards’ BFF Andrew Young. If the money were right he’d be shilling for SEUI. Ain’t politics grand? Poor old Panamanian strongman Juan McCain tried to throttle down the rivers of cash, and now look what they’re doing to him.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    Considering that McCrazy has been on the government dole and on the free gov’t health care for longer than I’ve been alive, I think it’s about time he stepped aside. I pity Cindy though.

  • charlesdegoal

    Norquist, right. Sounds suspiciously Swedish to me. Probably a socialist passing himself off as a conservative to better ridicule the Republicans. Don’t trust this new “friend” Johnny, Sarah’s coming to the rescue.

  • AllHat

    I especially love how Grover’s wife works at USAID, so his very principled convictions about shrinking government obviously don’t stretch that far.

  • weejee

    In the nine years since his sally against l’arbuste on tax cuts Jammakain has caught the oldes. He now needs mass infusions of plutonium to keep his reactor running and so now loves the plutocrats that provide it.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Villagers circling the wagons. Charming! Did any of the muppets have genitalia? Just wondering since nobody ever had pants on.

  • Barcode of the Apocalypse

    “…eating steaks with Lindsey Graham.” Surely you’re referring to tube steaks? I believe that’s Lindsey’s favorite.

  • Jumping Jim

    His wife owns a Beer Distributorship. Like, for a whole state.

    Most fighter pilots would have called their life complete right after “I do.”

  • bitchincamaro

    I heard this hack on The Diane Rehms Show yesterday. She whacked his peepee for name-calling her other guests. I love that old hag.

  • teebob2000

    Is “eating steaks” a gay euphemism that us straight-shooters aren’t aware of?

  • teebob2000

    Oh Jeebuz, that reference was REALLY uncalled for.


  • Jumping Jim

    [re=510543]AllHat[/re]: It would be very unprincipled for a Republican to reject a paycheck.

  • DickRod

    [re=510546]Buzz Feedback[/re]: What does one thing have to do with the other? I don’t have pants on during this fine snow day, and I have a fine set of genitalia. Does this mean I can’t join the Muppets?

  • AllHat

    [re=510551]bitchincamaro[/re]: Too right. She may be 103, but she manages to school those whipper-snappers.

  • Cape Clod

    I can’t wait until Snowbilly comes to AZ to campaign for his primary opponent.

  • PlanetWingnuta

    eating steak..wow i didnt know about this….adding it to my vocab…

  • x111e7thst

    [re=510533]gurukalehuru[/re]: He’s that trollop cunt Cindy’s husband I think.

  • EdFlinstone

    True story: Grovers father would steal bites of his ice cream cone, one bite would be sales tax and others would be income, estate tax etc. Well for a young chubbers, you can see how taxes traumatized Grover.

  • Katydid

    I’m doing my part to defeat the old bastard. I called my aunt and uncle, who live in Scottsdale and reminded them of McCain’s slither right, esp. his new harumphing against DADT. This is esp. important in my family, since my daughter is a lesbian.

    My uncle is an Independent, and when I told him McCain’s new DADT bullshit, he was disgusted, said he wouldn’t vote for him, and would spread the word. I’m hoping this will help turn people in Scottsdale against him, richies who would otherwise vote for him.

    We do what we can.

  • BeWoot

    McCain has to pretend to be an actual anything … except putz. He is a real putz.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=510555]DickRod[/re]: Yes, that’s precisely what it means.

  • SmutBoffin


    Thanks, SKS!

  • El Pinche

    O/T, but did anyone see Tweety rape Palin with his mouth?

    Back on topic, John McCain sucks dog boners for bringing us this empty vessel called Sarah Palin.

  • Gorillionaire

    [re=510563]Katydid[/re]: Hell yes.

  • JMP

    What really is good news for John McCain is that he attracted two pure wignut opponents, who should split the teabagger vote.

  • V572625694

    [re=510573]El Pinche[/re]: I did see that yesterday. So there were at least two people watching MSNBC.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [/sound of Grover Norquist desperately trying to be relevant again]

  • Birdcrash

    [re=510562]EdFlinstone[/re]: Young Grover, had he a bit of wit about him, might have embedded turd chips and lead pellets in his ice cream cone to demonstrate to his father the nightmare of a taxless utopia.

  • Gorillionaire

    In heaven, every American that earned less than $250K a year gets to kick Norquist in the nads five times a day.

  • dijetlo

    Grover Norquist Evil Garden Gnome
    Good grief man, it’s on his driver license!

  • populucious

    The Senate is the new Medicare…don’t worry about finding grandpappy a nursing home, just get him a Senate gig.

  • jetjaguar

    At first I was like… why Super Grover? Then I was like… why not ALWAYS Super Grover?