boring people

Tim Pawlenty, The GOP Mob’s Official Courier Slave

Add to Flipboard Magazine.

$$$$$$Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, the 2012 candidate everyone’s heard about and immediately forgotten, holds a very special position for the Republican party: he runs around the country giving speeches that no one cares about BUT ONLY TO DISGUISE his true purpose, which is cash. He distributes unmarked bills and checks to people. Powerful people. Real quiet, see?

On Friday, Pawlenty gave a 25 minute speech to Republican activists in Montgomery, AL. Before Pawlenty spoke to the group, Alabama GOP Chair Mike Hubbard announced that Pawlenty showed up at the speech bearing gifts. Hubbard told the audience of about 700 GOP activists that Pawlenty hand-delivered a $100,000 check from an unnamed donor.


Philip Bryan, a spokesman for the Alabama Republican Party said Pawlenty’s check came from a donor, but he wouldn’t disclose the individual’s name. He said the funds were earmarked to help Republicans win the Alabama House and Senate and would comply with disclosure laws. Bryan then referred other questions to Pawlenty’s spokesman. Pawlenty’s spokesman referred me to the Alabama Republican Party.

Ha ha, sucker reporter, gettin’ played. Any parcels for us, GOP mail bitch Tim Pawlenty?

Pawlenty buys some Alabama goodwill, but who paid for it? [Minnesota Public Radio]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Cape Clod

    Did Pawlenty go to Nashville this weekend and pinch Palin’s fee while she was washing her hands?

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Pawlenty Tim pokes his head of his burrow and if he sees the shadow of the press he withholds donations for another six weeks.

  • Terry

    Comply with disclosure laws? Is he going to write “itza seeekrit” on any paperwork he needs to submit?

  • Gorillionaire

    When you think of “$100,000”, you immediately think “the price to get Sarah Palin to show up.”

  • ManchuCandidate

    He’s the Postman!

    Except played as Cliff Claven.

  • DangerousLiberal

    I just saw him give a speech. Nice guy. Great speech. Seems reasonably. Is this the new GOP tactic: reasonability? Nahhhh….

  • rafflesinc

    “He said the funds were earmarked to help Republicans win the Alabama House and Senate”

    Whoa. Democrats actually control something in the South. :: mindblown ::

  • V572625694

    TPaw’s just building his constituency for the nationwide run in 2012. “Looky here, mah fellow Alabamians, TPaw hand-delivered a check from some douche bag up north! Let’s all vote fuh him now!”

    Surprisingly, this might well work. Alabama’s a bit…uh…ret***ed, if you know what I mean.

  • JMP

    Maybe it was Minnesota tax money he embezzled from the bridge repair funds?

  • norbizness

    [re=510131]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Reasonability is like garlic-scented holy water to the stupid, vampiric base.

  • Larry McAwful

    This sleaze is just what Tim Pawlenty needs. There’s nothing like breaking a few laws to add some spice to a bland, forgettable candidate like… wait, let me check that name again; I forgot it… yeah, like Tim Pawlenty.

  • TGY

    Tim Payola?

  • JMP

    [re=510131]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I was just watching him give a ….zzzzzz… sorry; dozed off for a second; a speech, and he’s *yawn*; uh, sorry about that; he’s probably the most moderate *stretch*; sorry again, I’m struggling to stay awake here; the most moderate and reasonable of possible Republican *yawn again* (goes to refill coffee); maybe this will help; of Republican 2012 candidates, but he’s got one problem that *snore*; ..oh, where was I? That I can’t quite put my finger on.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Hey it’s the Candyman, Governor Good-and-Pawlenty, here with the secret funds. A hundred grand should keep the Alabama Party of Licoln in horses and white sheets through 2012.

  • Extemporanus

    Tim Pawlenty is the Ed McMahon of GOP presidential hopefuls.


  • Mr Blifil

    He’s an errend boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill…

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Oh no. Nothing shady about this. Really, nothing shady at all.

  • SmutBoffin

    Possible sources for the check:

    1) Khan Noonien Singh
    2) the evil robots from The Matrix
    3) Rahm Emmanuel (when you endorse it, it explodes!)
    4) some (now penniless) Teabaggers, dressed in their Scots finery

  • widestanceromancer

    He wants everyone to know how much he loves red-hot smokin’ cash.

  • Sharkey

    Jim, I sent you a whole box full of iPads, did you get them yet?

  • Snarkalicious

    What’s the over/under on that going toawrds a bulk purchase of Going Rogue?

  • BadKitty

    Hey, Pawlenty, that’s my fuckin’ tax money! No wonder this damned state is broke! He’s sending it all to the GOP base in Alabammy.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=510131]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Timmy the Weasel is not a nice guy. He’s given himself dictatorial powers here in the frozen north that enabled him to dumb 35,000 disabled and/or mentally ill people from the state’s medical assistance program. Now they will be roaming the streets without their medication but, thanks to Timmy and his pals, they can have guns. So we’ll just have wait to see how this works out.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=510156]Mr Blifil[/re]: Oh the Horror! Wait, wrong river. Errend boy is correct, however.

  • Kool Keith

    Where I come from, this job is called “bag man”.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=510179]Kool Keith[/re]: Or, in this case, “teabag man”.

  • Ducksworthy

    TPaw’s reputation for being squeaky clean will be reduced to reflect his true character, squeaky.

  • bfstevie

    Didn’t they use to call someone with Pawlenty’s gig a “bagman”?

  • Exterminatus

    You can all thank Bob Perry, a Texas home builder, for this payoff err… “donation”.

  • Terry


    Another good example of compassionate conservatism, then

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=510247]Terry[/re]: Yes. Arming the mentally ill is key compassionate conservative health reform.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    He started out as a moderate but he’s trying to win over an increasingly conservative crowd. Every time I hear him he’s a little more extreme. As we get closer to 2012 he’ll begin to sound and act like Michelle Bachmann. Probably start looking like her too.
    Can’t wait.

  • SpikeyDog

    Pretty sure he got the money from robbing the Minnesota state fund for health insurance for the elderly and poor. He used his un-allotment powers to cut them off. The faster they get sick and die, the better, in his fucked mind. A candidate for Prez? I’d rather have that douche bag GW back. My nephew went to high school with this scum bag. He was an ass then and hasn’t changed.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=510276]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Personally I’m hoping for a Palin/Pawlenty ticket. PP for short. Timmie has run MN into the ground. Now he wants to do the same for the US. He is a born again Grover Norquist devotee.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=510293]SpikeyDog[/re]: Just seeing his picture makes me want to wash. When Palin aced him out as McCain’s running mate I remarked to a friend that he’d be better than Cheney. She said I was wrong. I was.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    In Alabama, campaign finance laws don’t apply; only laws to hassle blacks and long-haired hippies are enforced.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    It’s hard to believe that the same state that sent Hubert Humphry and Al Frankin to the Senate also produced Tim Pawlenty and Machelle Bachmann. What a schizophrenic electorate. Must be the cold and snow that does it.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Don’t forget Norm Coleman and this guy is running for Gov… again.