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  • Aww, Jim Inhofe’s grandchildren built Al Gore a spacious snow cavern to live in! How did they know Al’s fursona was a “homeless but sensitive polar bear?” [Think Progress]
  • Looks like it’s going to be another lonely, miserable Valentine’s Day, huh? Hey, why not fingerbang a heavily-discounted Newt Gingrich paperback from the NRO bookstore instead? Ships with a bottle of Newt’s famous pheromone cologne so you can set the mood! [The Corner]
  • “How many Americans will die because of Barack Obama’s handling of national security?” Hopefully enough in time for the 2012 elections! [RedState]
  • Obama’s “the only good terrorist is a dead terrorist” policy is in direct conflict with Rumsfeld’s way better “keep that terrorist alive so we can tickle him with a power drill” doctrine. [Matt Yglesias]
  • Bad news for feral Hill interns who snack on cigarette butts and other special treasures they find on the Mall: You are exposing yourself to third-hand smoke. [Gateway Pundit]
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43 COMMENTS

  1. is there an adoption program for the feral interns? I have a nice barn they can live in. And do they have to be spayed/neutered first before being sent back into the wild?

  2. Matt Yglesias pegs the real reason the right wants Obama to fail — it would be to the ultimate discrediting of their ideas (such as they are) if he did better at stuff their Marvel Comics approach failed at for eight years. That Mark Thiessen has shamelessly come out as pro-terrorist only accentuates the Republicans’ new pro-rape, anti-military stance. I’d congratulate them on becoming the thing they hate most in the world, but really this is just the natural extension of Newt’s Contract with America — spout high ideals, get the people to buy in, then do whatever the hell you want.

  3. [re=510364]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Do we miss Chimpy? Not until Obama gets us embroiled in two more endless unwinnable wars and starts destroying jobs at a faster rate than Bush did.

  4. Maybe The Corner should just have a book burning to reduce its inventory. Or rip out the pages and use them to line K-Lo’s cage. Those shipments of kitty litter can’t be cheap.

  5. Why don’t you send the terrorists to us down here in Latin America? Here in my country, when some sniveling little union organizer or student poet or other enemies of the Holy Roman Church becomes too big for their britches, our heroic Guardia Nacional picks them up in the middle of the night and hands them over to the Jurana Indians who saws off their heads and shrinks them down to the size of an apricot. Then we take the heads out on holidays and special occasions like weddings and confirmation parties and shake them like the little Punch & Judy puppets to hiss and complain endlessly… Oh, how the children laugh and laugh.

    We know what to do. And we want to help.

  6. [re=510385]drrty martini[/re]: When setting a romantic mood, an appropriate choice of music is key.

    [re=510407]tootsieroll[/re]: I could be wrong, but I believe “chooching” is a vulgar portmanteau of “Chachi” and “mooching”.

    I’ll let you do the math…

  7. [re=510414]Snarkalicious[/re]: [re=510417]Crank Tango[/re]: Bob Dole has the correct answer scrawled on the palm of his hand, but he can’t read it due to an old frostbite injury he sustained while jerking-off a Skijäger division 1 soldier during WWII.

    [re=510420]grevillea[/re]: Alright, sicko, you asked for it.

  8. Cigarette ash actually gets dye off of things – I learned this when I was using Manic Panic to color my hair. Needed an ashtray full to get it off of my ears and hairline.

  9. In case you’re wondering what is happening in DC these days, let me give you a little update;

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  10. [re=510426]Extemporanus[/re]: I had never seen Roy Orbison singing in drag before, and while he looks a lot prettier as a woman (ditching the Coke bottle glasses for orange and red eyeshadow was a master stroke!), I’m not sure what the heck it did for my romantic mood, which may have moved to Hawaii. I got even more confused when Roy did his Jerry Lewis patented pratfall before the tune was over, yet kept singing, which I believe violates at least two of the Geneva Conventions.

  11. Newt’s greatest exploit, in my opinion, was getting a BJ from a (female) reporter from the notorious UK tabloid, The Sun! She was an under-cover staff worker. Apparently he demands BJs from all his female staffers (males, too, maybe; anyone know?). Of course, it says something about Sun reporters that they are prepared to blow foreign politicians in parking lots for a good story. BBC World Service interviewed her about it.

  12. Chief among those helping Al Qaeda is Barack Obama.
    – The mirandizing of the Shoe-Bomber in December 2001, thus delaying vital intelligence collection.
    – Repatriating Yemeni GITMO prisoners to Yemen 2004 – 2008 .
    – Transfer of Al Queda terrorist Abdul Rahman al-Amri from Gitmo to Saudi Arabia in 2007.
    – Giving the Shoe Bomber (2002) and the Dirty Bomber (2006) a civilian trial so they would have has a soapbox to spew Al Qaeda propaganda before American media, therefore giving Al Qaeda a greater media megaphone than Al Jazeera
    – The 2002 Los Angeles Airport shooting on July 4, 2002, Hesham Mohamed Hadayet killing 2 Israelis at the ticket counter of El Al Airlines at LAX
    Etc.
    Dang.

  13. In other news:
    National Tea Party Convention
    *****
    http://www.newsweek.com/id/233331

    Steve Malloy, author of Green Hell: How Environmentalists Plan to Ruin Your Life, [warned] that Obama and his [mulatto] minions are conspiring to control every aspect of Americans’ lives—the colors of their cars, the kind of toilet paper they use, how much time they spend in the shower, the temperature of their homes—all under the guise of U.N. greenhouse-gas-reduction schemes. “Obama isn’t a U.S. socialist,” Malloy thundered. “He’s an international socialist. He envisions a one-world government.”

    Judge Roy Moore warned, among other things, of “a U.N. guard stationed in every house.” [Perhaps the guards could teach me how to make decent vichyssoise]

    A software engineer from Clearwater, Fla., told me that Washington, D.C., liberals had engineered the financial crash so they could destroy the value of the U.S. dollar, pay off America’s debts with worthless paper, and then create a new currency called the Amero that would be used in a newly created “North American Currency Union” with Canada and Mexico.

    [At the conference came] the “birther” claim that America’s president might actually be an illegal alien who’s constitutionally ineligible to occupy the White House. This point was made by birther extraordinaire and Christian warrior Joseph Farah, who told the crowd the circumstances of Obama’s birth were more mysterious than those of Jesus Christ. (Apparently comparing Obama to a messiah is only blasphemous if you’re doing so in a complimentary vein.) To applause, he declared, “My dream is that if Barack Obama seeks reelection in 2012 that he won’t be able to go to any city, any city, any town in America without seeing signs that ask, ‘Where’s the birth certificate?'”

    *****
    Darn. Where’s mine?

  14. Personally, I like my yellow walls. Whenever I remove all my framed pictures to lick them for a nicotine source, I know exactly where they go from the white outlines on the wall.

    [re=510458]El Pinche[/re]: And a hint of Dick Swett.

  15. [re=510471]S.Luggo[/re]: Oh, somebody noticed. Mr. Kay oughta tune in to Glenn Beck one morning a week — he really won’t have to listen for more than a half-hour. Obama is backed by Bill Ayers and Saul Alinsky and this whole Progressive Movement I had never heard of that apparently seeks to wipe out every citizen’s Constitutional rights and they’re going to be allowed to do this by a financial and/or military crisis that they’ll orchestrate. He somehow never mentions that they should’ve declared success in 2005 and then gone home. And now Newsweek is stunned that this patent inanity is broadcast in public every day and nobody told them.

  16. [re=510356]El Kabong[/re]: And do they have to be spayed/neutered first before being sent back into the wild?

    On behalf of Capitol Hill residents, DEAR GOD, YES!!!

    [re=510435]snideinplainsight[/re]: Dunno if this has made the rounds yet, but this is plainly the only snowy weather guide that DC Residents consult: http://snowpocalypsedc.com/

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