One Of Eliot Spitzer’s Whores-By-Proxy, The Kristin One, Would Like To Be Governor Of New York Now Please

  state of sex people

Oh lookee here: Eliot Spitzer’s whore thing Kristin Davis, his “Manhattan Madam,” has announced at some Libertarian convention (?) that she will be running for governor of New York. But woah, Albany insider gossip: this was Spitzer’s exact job in politics, running New York! It is nothing more than a classic tale of “switchsies”: the governor prefers spending his time whoring, and she who whores, wishes she could govern.

Davis already has a platform, which is a thing you need to be Serious. Plus, she’s amassed a collection of the rapper 50 Cent plus some Penthouse gals to help her out in some way that presumably exists.

Davis is running on a “taxation as confiscation” platform and also advocates legalizing prostitution and marijuana, saying that the potential $2.6 billion in revenue could help close the budget gap.

Davis and ["aide" Roger] Stone plan to use her racy connections to get some Penthouse Pets to pound the pavement getting signatures for a petition to put her on the ballot.

Davis claims to have some prominent backers such as rapper 50 Cent who has reportedly offered some of his G-Unit rap crew to work the phones.

 
Related video

Putting the washed-up prefab rap people on the phones, not the sex girls for phone sex: that is just savvy campaigning!

[CBS News]

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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

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63 comments

  1. Gopherit

    Davis is running on a “taxation as confiscation” platform and also advocates legalizing prostitution and marijuana, saying that the potential $2.6 billion in revenue could help close the budget gap.

    Wait, she doesn’t want their to be any taxes, but….somehow prostitution + marijuana = profit for NY Government? My head is ‘sploding.

  2. Gopherit

    On the bright side, she and Paterson will have a lot to talk about at the debates. Doggie vs Reverse Cowgirl? Discuss.

  3. Norbert

    Didn’t Harold Ford party at the Playboy mansion before his loss in Tennessee? Harold’s Bunnies VS. Kristin’s Pets 2010. This is why immigrants wept with joy when they first caught a glimspe of the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor, they just didn’t know it yet.

  4. bfstevie

    Let’s not forget what a scumbag Roger Stone is. Safe sex must be an important part of her platform.

  5. frailamerica

    How come there are never any porn-stars/hookers/assorted sex-workers running for office on the left? When did we cede deviance to the Republicans? I want my party back!

  6. Buttery1000

    How does she expect to win with 50 on her side? He couldn’t even take Kanye down. She needs someone with real NYC cred. Maybe one of the Wu Tang Clan is available.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Kristin Davis will be doing the first get-out-the-vote drive that costs $9.95 a minute for the call.

  8. Prommie

    [re=509844]Gopherit[/re]: Isn’t reverse cowgirl just doggie, rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise? Yet so many of the ladies seem to enjoy the doggie, but the reverse cowgirl, not so much, why should this be?

  9. Red Zeppelin

    I am sure I am not the first to say it, but her background is actually highly relevant to a career in Albany.

  10. Redhead

    [re=509865]Prommie[/re]: It’s like doggie, but with the guy laying down instead of standing/kneeling so the girl’s in control… and other girls don’t like that? Really? Weird.

  11. Ruhe

    [re=509840]Gopherit[/re]: The apparent conflict is resolved when you realize that it is personal income and property taxes that the Libertarians hate the most and that by collecting sales taxes on sex and weed the government simply usurps the position of pimps and dealers, and really it’s the pimps and dealers that make prostitution and drug trafficking so seedy. At least that’s what I gather from my programs.

  12. JMP

    I remember when Howard Stern ran as a Libertarian for NY Governor, then dropped out rather than release his tax returns and thus publicly reveal his income. Now this Madame’s income, coming from prostitution as it does, must surely be laundered through various sources, which would make releasing her tax returns even more problematic.

    Is there something in the air in New York and California that attracts crazed [semi]-celebrity types to run for Governor? The only other state to get that was Minnesota (of course, they actually elected the dude).

  13. Snarko Marx

    She’d better put her regular whoring career on hold while running. Otherwise she might smudge her speeches with all that hand action.

  14. jodyleek

    [re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Because in Doggie, the male is providing stimulation to the lady-bits via the back’n forth, in’n out motion. In Reverse Cowgirl, going up and down on a stationary penis just doesn’t cut it. The addition of a vibrator is much appreciated. Otherwise, it’s just boring.

  15. Redhead

    [re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Well, that’s where they’re doing it wrong then – you don’t just go up and down.

  16. JMP

    [re=509858]frailamerica[/re]: Yeah, the ones that run for office all seem to be Randroid douchebags. Maybe lots of literal fucking of poor, drug-addled would-be starlets naturally leads to a belief in fucking all the poor (and middle class).

  17. Gopherit

    [re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Dunno. Too much work?
    [re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Good point.

    See, this is the kind of debate we need!

  18. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Megs McCans using “Maya’s” photo as the cover for her forthcoming opus in 3…2…1…

  19. gurukalehuru

    I’m all in favor of more hookers running for office and serving in government. Takes that whole sex-scandal thingie off the table. Unless, of course, somebody shits in their diaper or fucks a mule or something.

  20. Autoo

    Davis would be the hawtest governess since Mary Poppins! New York should be so lucky. And if they are foolish enough to not elect her governess, maybe she’ll give them a second chance and run for au pair girl.
    ______________

    [re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Plus the angle is just all wrong. At least with me and my girl.

  21. Redhead

    [re=509903]Gopherit[/re]: See, some of us girls like being the one doing the work, cause then we control the speed, etc. But there are times when it’s nice for the guy to be the one in control of all that too. (And I still say if you’re only going up and down, you’re doing it wrong.)
    Course, with regular girl on top, it’s easy for the guy to play with our boobs and such at the same time, and that gets harder when it’s reverse. But the best sex you change positions a few times anyway, so why not do both?

  22. the problem child

    [re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Probably a lot depends on the size/ configuration of the penis. Don’t take it personally, you may be too long. Or it could be your feet.

  23. Prommie

    Well[re=509871]Redhead[/re]: Ya gotta remember, I’m an old, and back in the day, we didn’t have “reverse cowgirl,” and I believe doggie was illegal in 35 states, as well. We had this stuff called “pubic hair” then, as well, which made everything so much more mysterious.

  24. Mr Blifil

    I wish I had Roger Stones prerogatives in life and I could rub the collective noses of an entire state’s population in a bucket of shit whenever somebody offends me.

  25. Prommie

    [re=509917]the problem child[/re]: Of course, that must be it, I am much too long, why, the answer was right there before me, how could I be so blind, ooh, thats right, it keeps poking me in the eyes, as well.

  26. Ducksworthy

    I think the $2.6 billion estimate is way low, unless she’s proposing to keep the government markup in the 1-2% range.

  27. JMP

    [re=509922]Prommie[/re]: Ugh; I’ve seen bits of porn from the 70s, people were really disgustingly hairy and greasy back then. Maybe all the coke interfered with caring about personal hygiene? Don’t remind us!

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=509925]Prommie[/re]: Don’t forget the potential issues attendant to tremendous girth, also.

  29. Gopherit

    [re=509913]Redhead[/re]: True enough. And as a man that appreciates doggie, it’s always nice to take a break and enjoy the fruits of a job well done.

  30. SmutBoffin

    Shit, I feel like I should be paying Wonkette $3.95 per minute for this kind of commenting.

    Pray continue.

  31. bitchincamaro

    [re=509925]Prommie[/re]: All the girls I’ve known loved the reverse cowgirl. Gave them a chance to watch the Perry Mason re-runs with me.

    Now I’m harried married.

  32. proudgrampa

    [re=509903]Gopherit[/re]: The angle of the dangle is proportional to the bore of the whore and the heat of the meat.

  33. hillarys_left_nut

    hookers (and the long-married) like the reverse cowgirl because the johns (husbands) can’t see their faces, ergo they don’t have to fake the O-face (just the verbals and the moves)

  34. Sharkey

    It is nothing more than a classic tale of “switchsies”…

    The grass is always greener… WHEN IT’S NOT COVERED IN TWO FEET OF SNOW!!!!

  35. Snarkalicious

    [re=510024]bitchincamaro[/re]: Married a Columbo woman, eh? I symaphize with your balls for being exposed to that shit.

  36. Extemporanus

    [re=509864]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It’ll actually be 50 Cent for the first minute, and $9.95 for each additional minute.

    [re=509865]Prommie[/re]: When it comes to enjoying reverse cowgirl, I’ve found that having a rodeo clown on hand can make a world of difference.

    Staying on for more than 8 seconds doesn’t hurt, either.

  37. Extemporanus

    [re=509904]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: She’s actually using the photo for the cover of her upcoming book of poetweets, Maya Ingenue: I Know Why the Caged Twat Stings.

  38. binarian

    Yeah, ok, 3.95 a minute….well, no I don’t think the verbal descriptions do this sub topic justice. Pictures please.

  39. scooterKPFT

    [re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: It’s because of gravity, the internel lady parts are hanging lower which makes for a lot of impact, instead of the lady parts being sideways and moving out of the way, and less ladies like being pounded internally so much is why. Also.

  40. Captain Swing

    If elected Governess, she plans to do away with boring and expensive shite like platforms (that’s policy platforms darlings, not platform shoes of course- They’re going to be so big next season), debates, speeches and such, and replace them all with a Whore Diamond rating system!

    Yay for budget savings!

Comments are closed.