STATE OF SEX PEOPLE  10:29 am February 9, 2010

One Of Eliot Spitzer’s Whores-By-Proxy, The Kristin One, Would Like To Be Governor Of New York Now Please

by Juli Weiner

Oh lookee here: Eliot Spitzer’s whore thing Kristin Davis, his “Manhattan Madam,” has announced at some Libertarian convention (?) that she will be running for governor of New York. But woah, Albany insider gossip: this was Spitzer’s exact job in politics, running New York! It is nothing more than a classic tale of “switchsies”: the governor prefers spending his time whoring, and she who whores, wishes she could govern.

Davis already has a platform, which is a thing you need to be Serious. Plus, she’s amassed a collection of the rapper 50 Cent plus some Penthouse gals to help her out in some way that presumably exists.

Davis is running on a “taxation as confiscation” platform and also advocates legalizing prostitution and marijuana, saying that the potential $2.6 billion in revenue could help close the budget gap.

Davis and ["aide" Roger] Stone plan to use her racy connections to get some Penthouse Pets to pound the pavement getting signatures for a petition to put her on the ballot.

Davis claims to have some prominent backers such as rapper 50 Cent who has reportedly offered some of his G-Unit rap crew to work the phones.

Putting the washed-up prefab rap people on the phones, not the sex girls for phone sex: that is just savvy campaigning!

[CBS News]

 
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{ 63 comments }

Dashboard_Buddha February 9, 2010 at 10:32 am

Hooker disconnect – “taxation as confiscation” and taxing prostitution and weed.

ManchuCandidate February 9, 2010 at 10:33 am

Procuring for a politician isn’t the same as being one.

What Would Ron Paul Do?

Gopherit February 9, 2010 at 10:34 am

Davis is running on a “taxation as confiscation” platform and also advocates legalizing prostitution and marijuana, saying that the potential $2.6 billion in revenue could help close the budget gap.

Wait, she doesn’t want their to be any taxes, but….somehow prostitution + marijuana = profit for NY Government? My head is ‘sploding.

mumblyjoe February 9, 2010 at 10:34 am

get some Penthouse Pets to pound the pavement

Nope. I got nothin’.

Gopherit February 9, 2010 at 10:35 am

On the bright side, she and Paterson will have a lot to talk about at the debates. Doggie vs Reverse Cowgirl? Discuss.

WarAndG February 9, 2010 at 10:36 am

Look for Ayn “Sugar Tits” Rand on the ballot. To do to us what…um…they did to her?

Bypartizoa February 9, 2010 at 10:36 am

Yes, but has she taken a poll?

Terry February 9, 2010 at 10:37 am

I heart NY. They’re sort of like Florida with delusions of grandeur.

Norbert February 9, 2010 at 10:39 am

Didn’t Harold Ford party at the Playboy mansion before his loss in Tennessee? Harold’s Bunnies VS. Kristin’s Pets 2010. This is why immigrants wept with joy when they first caught a glimspe of the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor, they just didn’t know it yet.

bfstevie February 9, 2010 at 10:41 am

Let’s not forget what a scumbag Roger Stone is. Safe sex must be an important part of her platform.

CrunchyKnee February 9, 2010 at 10:43 am

My whore diamonds are exploding.

southern mark smith February 9, 2010 at 10:44 am

I loved her in Melrose Place.

frailamerica February 9, 2010 at 10:44 am

How come there are never any porn-stars/hookers/assorted sex-workers running for office on the left? When did we cede deviance to the Republicans? I want my party back!

Redhead February 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

So she wants to turn NYC into Las Vegas. Eh, why not.

Buttery1000 February 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

How does she expect to win with 50 on her side? He couldn’t even take Kanye down. She needs someone with real NYC cred. Maybe one of the Wu Tang Clan is available.

SayItWithWookies February 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

Kristin Davis will be doing the first get-out-the-vote drive that costs $9.95 a minute for the call.

Prommie February 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

[re=509844]Gopherit[/re]: Isn’t reverse cowgirl just doggie, rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise? Yet so many of the ladies seem to enjoy the doggie, but the reverse cowgirl, not so much, why should this be?

Red Zeppelin February 9, 2010 at 10:55 am

I am sure I am not the first to say it, but her background is actually highly relevant to a career in Albany.

TGY February 9, 2010 at 10:55 am

Governing whores?

Today, we are all dominatrixes. Dominatrixi. Whatever.

Redhead February 9, 2010 at 10:59 am

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: It’s like doggie, but with the guy laying down instead of standing/kneeling so the girl’s in control… and other girls don’t like that? Really? Weird.

Ruhe February 9, 2010 at 11:00 am

[re=509840]Gopherit[/re]: The apparent conflict is resolved when you realize that it is personal income and property taxes that the Libertarians hate the most and that by collecting sales taxes on sex and weed the government simply usurps the position of pimps and dealers, and really it’s the pimps and dealers that make prostitution and drug trafficking so seedy. At least that’s what I gather from my programs.

President Beeblebrox February 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

Failed NY Libertarian gubernatorial candidate Howard Stern would be proud. Also.

JMP February 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

I remember when Howard Stern ran as a Libertarian for NY Governor, then dropped out rather than release his tax returns and thus publicly reveal his income. Now this Madame’s income, coming from prostitution as it does, must surely be laundered through various sources, which would make releasing her tax returns even more problematic.

Is there something in the air in New York and California that attracts crazed [semi]-celebrity types to run for Governor? The only other state to get that was Minnesota (of course, they actually elected the dude).

V572625694 February 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

She was really good in “Sex and the City.”

Snarko Marx February 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

She’d better put her regular whoring career on hold while running. Otherwise she might smudge her speeches with all that hand action.

jodyleek February 9, 2010 at 11:04 am

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Because in Doggie, the male is providing stimulation to the lady-bits via the back’n forth, in’n out motion. In Reverse Cowgirl, going up and down on a stationary penis just doesn’t cut it. The addition of a vibrator is much appreciated. Otherwise, it’s just boring.

Redhead February 9, 2010 at 11:08 am

[re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Well, that’s where they’re doing it wrong then – you don’t just go up and down.

DC Hates Me February 9, 2010 at 11:09 am

No taxation without representin’

JMP February 9, 2010 at 11:09 am

[re=509858]frailamerica[/re]: Yeah, the ones that run for office all seem to be Randroid douchebags. Maybe lots of literal fucking of poor, drug-addled would-be starlets naturally leads to a belief in fucking all the poor (and middle class).

Prommie February 9, 2010 at 11:13 am

[re=509883]Redhead[/re]: Maybe its my feet.

Gopherit February 9, 2010 at 11:21 am

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Dunno. Too much work?
[re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Good point.

See, this is the kind of debate we need!

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 9, 2010 at 11:22 am

Megs McCans using “Maya’s” photo as the cover for her forthcoming opus in 3…2…1…

gurukalehuru February 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

I’m all in favor of more hookers running for office and serving in government. Takes that whole sex-scandal thingie off the table. Unless, of course, somebody shits in their diaper or fucks a mule or something.

donner_froh February 9, 2010 at 11:23 am

[re=509840]Gopherit[/re]: State owned brothels and weed farms.

Autoo February 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

Davis would be the hawtest governess since Mary Poppins! New York should be so lucky. And if they are foolish enough to not elect her governess, maybe she’ll give them a second chance and run for au pair girl.
______________

[re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: Plus the angle is just all wrong. At least with me and my girl.

Redhead February 9, 2010 at 11:29 am

[re=509903]Gopherit[/re]: See, some of us girls like being the one doing the work, cause then we control the speed, etc. But there are times when it’s nice for the guy to be the one in control of all that too. (And I still say if you’re only going up and down, you’re doing it wrong.)
Course, with regular girl on top, it’s easy for the guy to play with our boobs and such at the same time, and that gets harder when it’s reverse. But the best sex you change positions a few times anyway, so why not do both?

the problem child February 9, 2010 at 11:32 am

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Probably a lot depends on the size/ configuration of the penis. Don’t take it personally, you may be too long. Or it could be your feet.

Prommie February 9, 2010 at 11:34 am

Well[re=509871]Redhead[/re]: Ya gotta remember, I’m an old, and back in the day, we didn’t have “reverse cowgirl,” and I believe doggie was illegal in 35 states, as well. We had this stuff called “pubic hair” then, as well, which made everything so much more mysterious.

Mr Blifil February 9, 2010 at 11:34 am

I wish I had Roger Stones prerogatives in life and I could rub the collective noses of an entire state’s population in a bucket of shit whenever somebody offends me.

Prommie February 9, 2010 at 11:35 am

[re=509917]the problem child[/re]: Of course, that must be it, I am much too long, why, the answer was right there before me, how could I be so blind, ooh, thats right, it keeps poking me in the eyes, as well.

Ducksworthy February 9, 2010 at 11:40 am

I think the $2.6 billion estimate is way low, unless she’s proposing to keep the government markup in the 1-2% range.

JMP February 9, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=509922]Prommie[/re]: Ugh; I’ve seen bits of porn from the 70s, people were really disgustingly hairy and greasy back then. Maybe all the coke interfered with caring about personal hygiene? Don’t remind us!

Autoo February 9, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=509925]Prommie[/re]: Ah, so *you’re* the proverbial Man From Nantucket.

Happy fellow.

Snarkalicious February 9, 2010 at 11:50 am

[re=509925]Prommie[/re]: Don’t forget the potential issues attendant to tremendous girth, also.

Gopherit February 9, 2010 at 11:55 am

[re=509946]Snarkalicious[/re]: If you’re gonna be fat you better be hung?

Gopherit February 9, 2010 at 11:56 am

[re=509913]Redhead[/re]: True enough. And as a man that appreciates doggie, it’s always nice to take a break and enjoy the fruits of a job well done.

SmutBoffin February 9, 2010 at 11:59 am

Shit, I feel like I should be paying Wonkette $3.95 per minute for this kind of commenting.

Pray continue.

Tommmcatt February 9, 2010 at 12:32 pm

She stoops to conquer…

bitchincamaro February 9, 2010 at 12:38 pm

[re=509925]Prommie[/re]: All the girls I’ve known loved the reverse cowgirl. Gave them a chance to watch the Perry Mason re-runs with me.

Now I’m harried married.

proudgrampa February 9, 2010 at 12:59 pm

[re=509903]Gopherit[/re]: The angle of the dangle is proportional to the bore of the whore and the heat of the meat.

hillarys_left_nut February 9, 2010 at 1:01 pm

hookers (and the long-married) like the reverse cowgirl because the johns (husbands) can’t see their faces, ergo they don’t have to fake the O-face (just the verbals and the moves)

Sharkey February 9, 2010 at 1:04 pm

It is nothing more than a classic tale of “switchsies”…

The grass is always greener… WHEN IT’S NOT COVERED IN TWO FEET OF SNOW!!!!

Snarkalicious February 9, 2010 at 1:21 pm

[re=510024]bitchincamaro[/re]: Married a Columbo woman, eh? I symaphize with your balls for being exposed to that shit.

Extemporanus February 9, 2010 at 1:30 pm

[re=509864]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It’ll actually be 50 Cent for the first minute, and $9.95 for each additional minute.

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: When it comes to enjoying reverse cowgirl, I’ve found that having a rodeo clown on hand can make a world of difference.

Staying on for more than 8 seconds doesn’t hurt, either.

Extemporanus February 9, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=509904]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: She’s actually using the photo for the cover of her upcoming book of poetweets, Maya Ingenue: I Know Why the Caged Twat Stings.

Cheney Guevara February 9, 2010 at 1:36 pm

i am really hoping to get a g-unit phone call

sanantonerose February 9, 2010 at 1:49 pm

[re=509865]Prommie[/re]: Where’s this poll? I prefer reverse cowgirl to doggie.

the problem child February 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm

[re=509925]Prommie[/re]: Yes, that’s definitely your problem then.

pickles February 9, 2010 at 2:14 pm

So is Kristin Davis is Roger Stone’s new provider of threesomes?

binarian February 9, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Yeah, ok, 3.95 a minute….well, no I don’t think the verbal descriptions do this sub topic justice. Pictures please.

Prommie February 9, 2010 at 4:52 pm

[re=510103]sanantonerose[/re]: A/S/L?

scooterKPFT February 9, 2010 at 6:29 pm

[re=509880]jodyleek[/re]: It’s because of gravity, the internel lady parts are hanging lower which makes for a lot of impact, instead of the lady parts being sideways and moving out of the way, and less ladies like being pounded internally so much is why. Also.

Captain Swing February 10, 2010 at 7:43 am

If elected Governess, she plans to do away with boring and expensive shite like platforms (that’s policy platforms darlings, not platform shoes of course- They’re going to be so big next season), debates, speeches and such, and replace them all with a Whore Diamond rating system!

Yay for budget savings!

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