don't blow it

David Paterson’s Insane Scandal Of Deadly Proportions Delayed Two Days

I'm in twoubleFor the last few days, hype has been building over a New York Times story of “Vicki Iseman Proportions” about New York Governor David Paterson, and how he has sex with ladies and does corrupt things and will have to resign, for having corrupt sex. The Times was going to run the story today but has delayed it until Wednesday, to work on its adjectives, perhaps. (“Should we keep it as ‘raw-dog,’ boss? Currently we have it as ‘raw-dog sex.’”)

NEW YORK (WPIX) – Governor Paterson reportedly is preparing to respond to scandalous rumors that have been swirling around him for the past ten days. A political source tells PIX News the governor will meet with editors of the New York Times tomorrow to answer questions regarding their investigation into his personal conduct.

The Times had been expected to publish a “bombshell” story as early as Monday, and that the governor’s resignation was likely to follow.

According to a source, the story hasn’t run yet because reporters were seeking additional corroboration and because attempts were still being made to have the governor respond to the allegations, which reportedly involve the governor and other women in a possible sex scandal. Latest indication is that the Times will run the story Wednesday.

Pix or GTFO, Times. Presumably they understand this, hence the delay.

Source: Looming Paterson Scandal Involves Affair With NY Woman [WPIX via Gawker]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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51 comments

  1. President Beeblebrox

    Welcome to American Journalism, circa 2010: A Teevee story about a dead-tree story which might or might not run, but if does, might possibly cause the Gubnor to resign.

    Somewhere, Eliot Spitzer is weeping.

  2. Nappied Hypotenuse

    This vapornews is totally working on me, though! I keep refreshing that NYT homepage in anticipation.

  3. Come here a minute

    [re=509481]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Why was this not Twittered on WPIX’s Facebook fan page?

  4. Extemporanus

    What you call “fingerbanging”, David Paterson calls “giving her vagina a good, hard look”.

  5. Aurelio

    Paterson sure gets a lot of pussy for a blind guy. I mean, he can’t even see them, but he manages to find them. Must be some kinda instinct that gets sharper when you lose your sight. Like a heterosexual gaydar.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    Governor Paterson will respond to the allegations as soon as he finds out which torrid affairs, group kinkytime to-dos, S&M sessions and/or fondue-intensive massage appointments the NYT is talking about.

  7. qwerty42

    maybe they’re waiting until after Snowpocalypse III: Last Crusade of the Transformers . If that were coming my way, I’d sure want to clear the decks. Maybe stock up on whatever i could find in the stores. If any stores can open in the devastated wasteland that the mid-atlantic region has turned into. I dunno. goodluck, Jim.

  8. V572625694

    [re=509500]Aurelio[/re]: I’m thinking the women tell Patterson they’re smokin’ hot, and he can’t see the difference.

  9. Gregoire

    Wouldn’t it be easier at this point just to make marriage infidelities part of the job description of being New York governor?

  10. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=509498]Extemporanus[/re]: Wow. Just wow.

    Didn’t he enter office with the admission that he had fucked everyone, and then snorted coke off of our bare midriffs? Is this going to involve animals, boys, or dead women?

  11. Bronkers

    … was hearing about this from an upstate journo resource over the weekend, and it was sort of a more-the-merrier Plato’s Retreat-ish context. Not jes’ him, but the Missus, too. If both are happy, why a sad?

  12. V572625694

    [re=509523]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Ha ha, have you been listening to/looking at Jenny Sanford’s book-tour pimp-a-thon? Jeebus H Kreist, they deserve each other.

  13. Barcode of the Apocalypse

    As long as Governor Paterson just fucks ladies from New York, IN NEW YORK, there’s no scandal. The moment he crosses state lines for immortal porpoises, that’s a Spitzerfuck!

  14. Autoo

    [re=509534]Jumping Jim[/re]: I wonder if the gov does that Ray Charles trick where he gropes their wrists to make sure he’s not humping any fatties?

  15. Jukesgrrl

    If he goes can we haz old guv back? You know — the one who didn’t like men with munnies, even tho he R one? Pleeze?

  16. Fighting Bill

    If there are no horses involved, there’s no story unless he’s been doing Elliot Spitzer’s wife and she swallowed.

  17. anonymousryan

    Is it really cheating if you can’t see the woman you’re fucking? I mean, for all Governor Paterson knows, he WAS having sex with his wife.

  18. Redhead

    [re=509566]Fighting Bill[/re]: Maybe he was doing Elliot Spitzer and Spitzer’s wife (or Ashleeeee Dupreeee or whatever she calls herself these days) at the same time. Now THAT would be scandalous.

  19. iwillsavethispatient

    [re=509513]V572625694[/re]: Perhaps intentional on your part, but that was the exact line the mistress of the UK’s former Home Secretary, David Blunkett used. FACT!

    So, if it was intentional, sorry for explaining the joke.

  20. Snarkalicious

    [re=509486]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: You were getting a handjob below frame in your prom photo, too? Huh. Small world.

  21. Josh Fruhlinger

    hype has been building over a New York Times story of “Vicki Iseman Proportions”

    So you mean that it won’t affect his political career in any way and leading political figures will demand that the Times apologize for it?

    Oh, wait, I forgot, Patterson is an unpopular Democrat!

  22. getoffmylawn

    NYC will be totally destroyed by the blizzard of blizzards on Wednesday so when this story gets about 30 seconds of air time or is buried somewhere in the Times, no one will notice it because everyone will be trying to hoard milk, eggs and bread due to the snow.

  23. Beowoof

    Hey, he thought he was doing his wife and he is sticking with that story until someone proves he saw someone different.

  24. Sparky McGruff

    [re=509578]anonymousryan[/re]: aah, the “She tricked me!” defense. Or, alternatively, “It wasn’t me! I’ve never even seen this woman!”

  25. Pithaughn

    [re=509655]getoffmylawn[/re]: Is there a French Toast contest? Try putting some Frangelico in the batter, WIN!

  26. hunter.blatherer

    Just another example of how Spitzer was the superior governor. When he had a sex scandal, it was a surprise, like it’s supposed to be; and the more we learned the weirder it got.

    Now, if it involves Paterson, Gillibrand and Adam Clayton Powell III in an Applebees bathroom, and erotic asphyxiation using umbilical cords from aborted fetuses, then I’ll feel like I live in a well-represented state.

  27. hunter.blatherer

    [re=509655]getoffmylawn[/re]: Sorry to disagree with you and Pithaughn there, but no, we are not scared of the snow in New York. In fact, we’ve been kind of jealous of all y’all Virginians: we want you to take our garbage barges, not our blizzards!

  28. LOLqat

    I’m really hoping that this affair somehow dovetails with the new Bravo show “Kell on Earth” in which a dowdy shrew with a fashion-show seating-chart business screams at dyslexic 20somethings every day for their inability to use Microsoft Office / the phone.

  29. Tommmcatt

    [re=509521]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    When was that? You’d think I’d remember something like that.

    Maybe not, but still.

  30. Lake Affected

    So the upshot of this is that upstate FUBO asshats still pissed off about the loss of Randy Kuhl, who held a gun to his ex-wife’s head, will gloat about the immoral Democrat [sic] governor Paterson and his downfall. And everyone will be like, who the fuck cares? And then some other jerk will be governor of this broke-ass state. Right.

  31. villageatrois

    Holy cow, what would be scandalous in New York? Not just humping woman or man, nor multiples thereof. Had to be somebody famous — no wait, that’s been done. Must be someone unlikely…. Did he meet Hillary at some party event, and then she passed the wrist cankles test, and then, and then, and then — NYT cocainely demures, until Wednesday.

    Editor: If so, that would be an adverb thing that NYT is working on. If they’re restricting their search to the adjective domain, that may explain the delay. At their age, it couldn’t be poor circulation.

  32. disgustedcitizen

    Well, at least Democratic sex scandals involve men sleeping with women, unlike our “Family Values” Repug politicians.

  33. Dashboard_Buddha

    I know the guy is blind, but damn…could they have come up with a more disturbing picture? He looks like he has the googly eyes of a refrigerator magnet. Or the googly eyes of the “Bumble” in Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Also*.

    *(this is my first Also.)

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