Wonkette comrade Matt Welch tried to get across Logan Circle so he could buy, uh, dishwasher detergent at Whole Foods. Super snowy out there! Never forget! [YouTube]
EH SOMEBODY NEEDS TO TWITTER A COP SNOWBALL FIGHT
February 7, 2010
Wonkette Eaten By Snow Monsters, So Here Is Some Pretty Snowpocalypse Video
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{ 109 comments }
UNBEFUCKINGBORINGLIEVABLE
An umbrella?
Really?
The Snowpocalypse is White Jesus’s wrath upon you LIEB-ruls for lettin’ a coloured neegro muslin islamofascist marxist anally invade and squat in the WHITE House an’ set up his white-slavery hobo welfare jungle voodoo Acorn deathpanel crackhouse….
[re=508982]Bearbloke[/re]: also.
I’m in AZ unfortunately.
Here’s a MUCH shorter, and I think better, take:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBSwkd4Js30
Also, a better shot of an umbrella
http://www.flickr.com/photos/47286915@N02/4334962986/sizes/o/in/set-72157623239935835/
Er, uh, http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4066/4334962986_5ee435b425_o.jpg
Hold on a second… the headline says Snowpocalypse, but the video says Snowmageddon… obviously somebody‘s lying.
eh, almost ten minutes and no indication there will be any demon sheep whatsoever. Did not click.
[re=508987]Serolf Divad[/re]: How do we know that this video is authentic? It could be part of a vast conspiracy on the part of the Illuminati, NSA, CFR, Freemasons AND the Stonecutters. Alex Jones needs to get on this, pronto.
Is one of those white humps on the way to Whole Foods the body of Dick Cheney? Or is it just snow blindness induced by a particularly bad blackout of whiteout?
If Cheney had really joined up with Helliburton in Abu-Wabu-Dabistan, he wouldn’t be on the teevees so much.
I am so jealous, here in NYC we were promised snow and nary a flake fell. That umbrella is unbelievably pretentious.Also.
I have been shoveling snow out of my driveway for the past three freaking hours. At this rate I should finish shoveling my driveway by 2 in the afternoon. Fuck you Ragnarök.
[re=508981]Guppy06[/re]: Yeah, jesus christ, its snowing, not raining. And a fucking liberal media umbrella, too!
Laundry detergent? Is that what the kids are calling “a twelve pack and two pints of Ben and Jerry’s” these days?
[re=508981]Guppy06[/re]: [re=508999]Come here a minute[/re]: Everyone in DC carries an umbrella in any weather… with poison pellet tips! You never know when you’ll meet a Rooskie spy.
That’s all the snow they got?
Ha!
Depth…takes a holiday?
This is but a taste of our wrath. Pass universal health care now or else, !Yanqui dogs!
love, Canada
This is a crippling snowfall? A blizzard? Come on, we’d still be in our swimsuits in Chicago. This is nothing. The people in DC really need to buy some snow shovels – - made in America of course, and made by Americans – - get a sense of humor.
Wow. That’s not that much snow you DC wussies. It’s what we, in Syracuse, call “a morning dusting”.
OMG someone found a use for the Washington Post finally.
What’s with the bumbershoot? They’re for rain you sillies, and in C’Addle we knows the rain. BTW, although we are about 200 miles north of both Bangor, ME and Minneapolis, MN, the crocuses and daffs are all up, redbuds are blooming, and allergic noses are running. Global warming must have caught the prevailing westerlies.
[re=509008]eastcoastliberal[/re]: I’ve been going around telling people we’ve dealt with worse TWICE this year now—I’ve had the fortune of having to drive long distances in both: the early January lake-effect storm coming back from my parents’ place (500 mi. away in Columbus, Ohio), and here recently I had to drive to Utica for class.
As a current Minnesnowtan who was raised in Anacostia, I feel a combination of sympathy and schadenfreude.
Meh, looks like my house most winter days. WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES!
Clearly, this is terraist snow…and what is the Obama Administration doing about…oh, I see, staying home…putting their feet up…waiting for the Superbowl…what are they, populists???
Texas shuts down when we have morning frost on our lawns.
Less than 3 feet: snowpunkalypse; sack up.
In Minneapolis we call this “Thursday”
I find that, during a summer shower, nothing keeps the rain off my head like a snow shovel.
BTW, 2:26 fail.
Yo Snowmageddon I’m really happy for you and I’m gonna let you finish, but the Blizzard of 77 was the baddest snowstorm of all time!
[re=509010]weejee[/re]: Yesterday was one of the nicest and warmest days of the year, don’t you think? Blue sky and warm! And the umbrella? Get real. Lived in Seattle, land of rain, outside hiking and hunting all winter long for nearly 45 years – and don’t even *own* one. Pussies.
The storm says “psych”.
In watching the video, I see people in the windows mouthing the words ‘Oh look-another retard with a video camera filming snow and pretending to be journalistic.’
You know what this video needs-blood, lots of blood
….the blood of Matt Welch spilling all over the sidewalk while the undead within the buildings come to feast upon his twitching soon-to-be-lifeless flesh.
Hey!
Do not diss these people and their snowstorm, for a true blizzard it was with howling wind sustained above 35 mph, less than 1/4 mile visibility and snow falling at an unbelivable rate up to 3″ per hour. Those of us who spend our lives in snow country rarely see a storm like this. Though, umbrellas…
I got gypped. I was expecting footage of the inside of a Whole Foods.
I personally have no more trees standing around my house (okay, that’s a lie – the oak tree that’s 40 ft is still standing). But farewell evergreens and 1/2 a pear tree (what I’ll do next Christmas with my partridge, I have no idea).
As a former resident of the Sierra Mountains (12-15 foot snow drifts in my front yard), I am not impressed. However, I do sympathize: most people are never prepared for a change in weather like this.
SO this may show how old I am, but does anyone remember “NYC’s Blizzard of 96,” when Roger Mudd, stuck somewhere on the New Jersey Turnpike, phoned in a report, completely freaking out–”I dont know how many of us are STUCK here, there no help…” Of course, everyone got their damn bread and milk in time but the hysteria was delicious….
[re=509021]Flanders[/re]: Yes it t’was. Far more civilized to have all the snow you want in the mountanyas. Then since snowing in the city limits as a class A felony, after our own little snowpocalypse in 2008(we do have hills y’all), in 2009 the outraged electoral mob dragged the former Bürgermeister from his castle, good ol’ mayor Greg “Sandy” Nickels, and shipped him to political purgatory. But that’s what you’d expect from a city that puts up statues of Lenin.
Good luck DC Wonketeers, it seems another storm is heading your way. Let us know if you need air drops of guns & liquor.
Most computers come with free editing software. You can also download it for free. And, you can record voiceovers on your camera and strip it and add it to your lovely edited video.
I am not leaving the house- at least not beyond my driveway. No way to drive or walk in the street here.
C’mon you guys! Y’all are really harshing on poor Matt Welsh and his umbrella trek to Whole Foods to get, um, dish detergent. For nine whole minutes. Florida would shut freakin’ DOWN if we got snow.
Let me tell you something, pendejo. Snowpocalypse is what happens when you fuck with The Jesus and let sodomites into the military. You pull any of your crazy shit with The Jesus, take out your fancy pen and write some sodomite rules The Jesus will take it and stuff it up your ass and hit the button until it goes click. Nobody fucks with the Jesus!
As a former resident of the city of Miami, I recall having all the snow we ever wanted — year round. And we LIKED it.
You call this “Snowpocalypse”? You god damn pussies. Seriously. Also, anyone from Boston remember the blizzard of 78? When we literally had to call the army to dig us out?
That’s not fucking snow. You pussies! Come on up to northern MN. We’ll show you some fucking snow.
[re=509025]caieva[/re]: 1/4 mi. visibility and 35 MPH winds? We pray for storms that mild around here. But I still feel sorry for the umbrella people, my Arlington niece included.
Up on Capitol Hill I predict partisanship will devolve into cannibalism by Tuesday.
What do you guys have against pussies?
Seems like a nice neighbourhood. Pretty snow on the trees. WHAT ARE THEY COVERING UP?!!!11?
That was pretty deep for DC — and it did snow for another eight hours or so after he made that video. And the umbrella makes sense if you’re using a camera with a mic, so all you amateur film critics just relax — in your haste, you all missed the weirdest part of this. It was probably the first time that operating a snowblower (or whatever that sidewalk cleaner doodad was) has ever been described as “shuckin’ and jivin’.”
This clinches it. Global warming is a HOAX by Al Gore and greedy climate scientists. We really dodged a bullet in 2000.
P.S. 50 degrees and sunny here in Seattle, suckas!
[re=509036]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Finally! (snort)
Apparently Connecticut just blew up:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/02/07/connecticut.explosion/index.html?hpt=T1
Two dead, “mass casualties” — apparently they were firing up their generators to test them and a gas explosion occurred — blew out windows across the Connecticut River.
http://www.wtnh.com/dpp/news/middlesex_cty/middletown-power-plant-explosion
I had to stop at :54, because I couldn’t handle it anymore. Why did it have to all come crashing to an end this way? TODAY I’M CRYING FOR MY ,CUNTRY.
[re=508990]villageatrois[/re]: “White hump” is as good a way to describe Cheney as any, snow or no snow.
This would never have happened on Bush’s watch. Why is Nobama so aloof?
Also in the news, according to the snowbilly grifter, it is appropriate for Rush Limpballs to say retard because he engages in satire.
She is fucking retarded. and I don’t mean that in the satirical sense.
[re=509050]Crank Tango[/re]: In little Trig’s case, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
[re=508987]Serolf Divad[/re]: obviously somebody’s lying
Serolf, What! Are you new. This is D.C. Everybody’s lying.
This just in from Kansas:
GodSmack: Snowpocalypse
THANK GOD FOR THE BLIZZARD OF 2010! You have been GodSmacked! The Beast: Snowmageddon. The Media: Snowpocalypse.
You know you deserve great wrath from God. Doomed america spawned/vomited forth The Beast, Antichrist Obama! Now all eyes watch: what will God do! To the words rebels:
And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree. And I saw another angel ascending from the east, having the seal of the living God: and he cried with a loud voice to the four angels, to whom it was given to hurt the earth and the sea, Saying, Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees, till we have sealed the servants of our God in their foreheads. Revelation 7:1-3
Sealing time commeth. FIRST, Bebe/The Beast must dance!
[re=509037]kewlguy42069[/re]: Yes, I was only 8 but I remember. We were living in Weymouth. I didn’t have school for 3 weeks! We couldn’t drive anywhere for a long time. My father built us a massive snow fort in the front yard.
[re=509053]Paul Tardy[/re]: yeah it’s obama’s fault. nothing to do with global warming or even just the fact that it’s fucking winter.
I dunno. The plot seems to fall apart at the end. I’d suggest a reshoot to tighten it up a little.
This is what happens when you have a President who is soft on weather. You need a commander-in-chief, not a weather apologist.
That’s really scary when the Blair Witch shows up on F street.
I used to live in a mountain town at 8,000 feet high in the Sierra where 20 to 30 feet of snow annually was about normal. Now the mere hint of snow nearby reduces me to a puddle of fear and urine, so I can sympathize with y’all in DeeCee, just this once.
Was “bob” able to get his paper this morning?
[re=509058]CanadianBacon[/re]:
He bows to low pressure areas.
As someone who had to shovel a good two feet in South Jersey, I wish to say to all you Minnesotans and Chicagoans and Sierra Madresites, and especially to your Seattlers: fuck all y’all!
I’m from the midwest and it snows like that a few times a year.
However, I moved to Connecticut and worked in NYC and it snowed like that once and everyone freaked. I laughed at them for a bit until I realized that snow like that in NYC causes way bigger headaches than it does in the Midwest. In NYC there is no place to move the snow. If you move it from point A to Point B, then it’s in the way of people and buildings at point B.
In the Midwest you can just shove it into 40 ft piles in mall and grocery store parking lots. NYC doesn’t have that luxury. It’s a whole different problem.
[re=509032]saggyboobedhag[/re]: Two words in response to your thrashing of the Walsh video: Cinéma vérité.
[re=509053]Paul Tardy[/re]: Who is working on the Wiki page of Snowmeggadon 2010?
It’s in the high teens(C°) down here, with a small spot of refreshing summer rain… it’s also Monday morning, so do tell who won that Superbowl contest thing? When are you silly Yanks going to get Real Football, anyway?
I liked it but was sad that he never said fuck. Not one fucking time. The awe shit was pretty good though I knew deep down what he would say next, I was drawn in with the heart wrenching realization that he would have to trudge further up the road to whole foods.
Uh, hello Washington,DC, where I laughingly skipped over snow piles to find my internship shut down years ago. A little advice from the Upper Midwest tundra;
1) Carrying an umbrella in a snowfall is just about the dorkiest thing ever.
2) Carrying a New York Times umbrella in a snowfall is THE dorkiest thing ever.
3) Saying “Is that white enough for you?” should be done with a grain of caution anywhere.
4)Shovels are remarkably helpful for um, digging, and defending oneself after asking in Washington DC if it is white enough.
A note for my fellow dirty furriners – if you’re actually masochistic enough to want to watch Bible Spice rape America with her mouth, click on this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7gVp3diPbI&feature=player_embedded
[re=509065]Vulpes82[/re]:
I live in Wisconsin and I have had 5 ft high snow drifts in my yard since early December.
I sympathize with you all in the Mid Atlantic, where ever the fuck that is.
But not Jersey.
Fuck all y’all indeed sir.
Geez, why do we have people in Haiti when we have such a crisis in our own Capitol?
Cabron, get a real umbrella instead of pasting newspapers together.
You got no cojones. Hey, we Angelenos have to deal with the White shit all the time.
Just like that poor vato at the tienda you yelled at….
[re=509073]Bearbloke[/re]: TL;DW. I did skip through it some. “Gaylord Opryland” Te hee. It said gay lord. Opry land.
Needs more cleavage.
[re=509065]Vulpes82[/re]: What’s that? I just came in from washing the car.
(to be sung to the tune of the theme song to “The Rebel”
Sarah Palin is a retard
she roams throughout the land
doesn’t need no teleprompter
just writes on her hand
for more of my thoughts on Sarah Palin, see http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com
By the way, whatever happened to Detective Baylor, anyway?
Growing up in New England, I never understood why one would use an umbrella in the snow…kinda wimpy. Turned off the clip after seeing the umbrella, so I can’t comment on anything else. oh I see lots of folks had problems with the umbrella too. Oh well, I’ll be more original next time.
…ella, ella, ella…
With the blinding whiteness blanketing DC, no one can see the Capitol being attacked by the Demon Sheep! Don’t go into the snow-baaaaa-ank!
Haven’t seen snow stick here in Lower Alabama since ’95, ya’ll enjoy… Oh, and if the supermarket shelves are bare and the liquor stores closed I hear Germex hand sanitizer is about 130 proof and house-cat tastes a lot like chicken!
this reminded of the mike gravel movie.
[re=509080]gurukalehuru[/re]: did you notice that now all of a sudden, she’s smart enough to be Leader of the Free World in 2012? http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20100207/ts_alt_afp/uspoliticspalin_20100207215002
These super-bowl ads are all clinically retarded. I think that Chrysler should have to apologize to Trigg for their Dodge commercial. It made me wish that I had been aborted.
From Sarah Palin
“I lift my skirt and pee on your snow, Eastern Elites!”
Oh man, I totally want to be snowed in with Matt Welch and Button Gwinnett, forever.
[re=509087]AutomaticPilot[/re]: Meh…her running for prez is a moot point since the world will end a month before she can take office. Thank fucking god.
[re=509085]plowman[/re]: That’s probably because even snow knows better than to go to lower Alabammy.
Here in upper South Redneckistan we’ve got nothing but rain- and snow-enabled mudslides and rockslides and I don’t know what all. If the sun doesn’t shine tomorrow or SOMETIME PRETTY GODDAM SOON someone’s going to have to suffer PRETTY FUCKING BAD, and it will probably be my spouse, who due to cabin fever is starting to resemble Homer Simpson to an alarmingly intolerable degree. That plus Snowbilly gettin’ the state all het up by gracing us with her $100 grand presence and I’m about ready to spend the last of my decimated 401K on a one-way to Muslin Hawaii and sayin’ fuck all of y’alls. GOD when will spring be here? Has this year sucked the worst almost ever or WHAT?
I’m really thankful that there’s a Wonkette thread going on this dismal SuperBowel night. Also thankful for Johnny Walker.
Who dat?
[re=509094]MzNicky[/re]: You’re welcome to come visit us smug bitches up here in Seattle anytime!
This should put that global warming nonsense to rest forever now, also.
[re=509042]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I don’t think “weird” is the word for it. I stopped watching after the “shucking and jiving” remark. Really, filmmaker dude? Really? And has he never seen a snowblower before? No wonder he’s carrying a freakin’ umbrella in the snow. Even if he’s trying to keep his camera dry, his parochialism is showing.
Wonkettee: http://www.dailykos.com/hotlist/add/2010/2/7/4254/92035/displaystory//
Wonderful Handprompter, handpromptergate, telepalmter. ANyway. This is what I feel like reading about all this next week.
Who dat, etc.
[re=509096]Flanders[/re]: Seattle? Does it ever rain up there?
By the way, I like how the Haiti relief ad up there yonder sez “CLINTON/bush,” because if it said “bush” first no one would even think about clicking.
I was in the snowstorm that hit NYC on Dec 19. There I was, a south Texan, faced with almost 2 feet of never been seen cold white stuff. The snow angel video where my belly is showing on the upward sweeps is more fascinating.
Has this year sucked the worst almost ever or WHAT?
Dude. It’s only just barely February. Of just barely the 21st century. Plenty of time for things to get a lot worse.
This means Washington will win the Super Bowl.
So the city can heal, you know.
It worked for New Orleans, but Miami wants to know how it’s to heal from Hurricane Andrew. Miami has been unhealed since 1992.
I live here in DC, was born and raised here, and even I’m thinking what a bunch of wussies. I think it’s all the transplants from down south that are freaking out. The only hardship was the loss of Internet at home so I had to wait until I got to work to check out Wonkette.
I have, at some time or another, in some place, been in a situation worse than this! So you may not complain! Take that, “World War” I.
This was the worst video I have ever seen in my whole entire life. And I only managed to get through maybe a minute. That’s a minute of my life I’ll never get back. (He can’t fucking remember what kind of detergent he needs? And does anyone care? Cut the audio, dude!)
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