So Alabama shitbird Sen. Richard “Dick” “Swett” Shelby has placed a blanket hold on 70-ish Obama nominees, which someone in Harry Reid’s office bothered to tell us all about yesterday. He wants Northrop Grumman to get a contract for a tanker that would bring 1,500 jobs to Alabama, and he wants some dildo thing called the “Terrorist Explosives Devices Analytical Center” to be built, in Alabama, and he will not allow 70 important jobs to be filled until he gets his stupid tanker and stupid dildo cunt factory. How does he explain this, the Shelby Shakedown — or as the really vulgar folk call it, the Questionable Application of Political Leverage by United States Senator Richard Shelby?
Here’s the gist of the statement from whatever weiner-salad works in Shelby’s office:
“Senator Shelby has placed holds on several pending nominees due to unaddressed national security concerns,” Mr. Graffeo wrote. “Among his concerns is that nearly 10 years after the U.S. Air Force announced plans to replace the aging tanker fleet, we still do not have a transparent and fair acquisition process to move forward. The Department of Defense must recognize that the draft Request for Proposal needs to be significantly and substantively changed.”
“Senator Shelby is also deeply concerned that the administration will not release the funds already appropriated to the F.B.I. to build the Terrorist Explosives Devices Analytical Center. This decision impedes the U.S. military, the intelligence community, and federal law enforcement personnel in their missions to exploit and analyze intelligence information critical to fighting terrorism and ensuring American security worldwide.
“The Obama administration wants to read terrorists our Miranda rights and try them in U.S. courts but is impeding the processing of evidence that could lead to convictions.”
Rahm, on cellphone: GIVE THE FUCKING RETARD WHAT HE MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING WANTS? OKAY?
Tim Shriver: Rahm! We’re right here, in the White House! During the R-word summit!
Little boy, crying: I’m s-s-scared…