Our favorite-ever letter-writer “Bob” is back, with an email once again expressing his displeasure with our “paper.” But maybe he is confused? Or maybe he just HATES OUR NATION. As we’ve seen with these shocking new surveys of Republican Opinion, “patriotism” these days just means “I hate America so much I want to secede to another country, if I ever hear about one.”
From: bob ____@comcast.net
to: ken@wonkette.com
date: Fri, Feb 5, 2010 at 3:20 AM
subject: Your paper sucks!Unless it is suppose to be comedy. Thank God you people aren’t in charge of “my country”.
3:20 a.m.?! Somebody’s bathtub is being used for speed-makin’ instead of bath-takin’.
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I think Bob forgot to put the quotation marks around the word comedy. Sheesh.
Good news, Bob! It is supposed to be comedy! Must be a load off “your mind.”
Is this skoalrebel in disguise?
Right. Because, you know, if you guys took over being in control of his country from Fox News, who knows what would happen!
And it might even affect America! At least, America’s supplies of cheetos and budweiser.
One would think Sen. Bob Corker has better things to do.
More importantly—
WHY is wonket selling a book about N*ggers On Fire” for Venereal Day??
“Well, Bob, what countries do you like?”
“Hmmm. All of ‘em!”
Paper?
“My country”’tis of “thee,” sweet land of “liberty”, of thee I “sing”, land where my “fathers” died…
So how come “Bob” gets home delivery and we don’t.
OT: How come I have to find out about embarrassing web browsing being accidentally televised from Andrew the Sullivan. I visit Wonkette for reports of banker scandals involving nekkid pitchers. So far the silence here has been deafening.
http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2010/02/dont-fire-david-kiely.html
Another wingnut embroiled in the ever ongoing war over “over the top” or “under the roll” toilet paper hanging. All he knows if that Wonkett’s paper sucks, damnit.
Still a few % of the clueless wandering onto the Intertubes daily. Remember the hilarity when it was hundreds of thousands a day? Ah, that takes me back.
Whoops. All caught up now. That’ll learn me to not scroll and skim down the page.
One other thing, my dear Wonkette, I’ve always wondered, is the “shit for brains” cartoon guy gif wearing a hardhat, or is his head a penis?
Bob, if you are out there watching, this one is for you…
“They told you in school about freedom
But when you try to be free they never let ya
They said “it’s easy , nothing to it”
And now the army’s out to get ya
Sixty nine America in terminal stasis
The air’s so thick it’s like drowning in molasses
I’m sick and tired of paying these dues
And i’m finally getting hip to the American ruse”
Two things Bob, we here at Wonkett are thrilled not to be in charge of “your country”.
And Comcast???! Really?
[re=508390]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Yes. The answer is yes, he is wearing a hard hat, but inside tha hat, his head is a penis.
Bob’s going to be devastated when he learns that the liberal elite here are indeed in charge of his country, making all the decisions behind his back, and then laughing about it–just like Glenn Beck says.
I think we’ve just been called furreigners by Bob the Bubba.
At least he capitalized “God” because everyone knows if you don’t, you will go to Hell immediately.
You talk about meth like it’s a bad thing.
That email was retarded. Yes Sarah dear, totally fucking retarded. Now I will go teach my 2:00 class “Mental Retardation”. Or as Sarah would have it “Mental R-word”.
Bob’s just pissed ’cause he paid $550 to go to the teabagger convention and once he got there it was nothing but people yelling about politics.
I’m more baffled by the fact of someone like “Bob” reading Wonkette in the first place… or being aware of this newfangled internets thing… or electricity for that matter.
So, who wants to break the bad news to Bob? You know, about the liberal brown guy in charge of “his” country?
Pobre Bob.
[re=508399]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: We’re a little behind schedule on the world-domination part, but that’s counter-balanced by the way we’re years ahead on laughing at the conservatards.
[re=508402]Tommmcatt[/re]: I call it the “Mathematician’s Little Helper”.
Bob is not the sort of big time drug lord who cooks meth in his bathtub. A gallon jug strapped to the back of his bicycle is about the extent of his operation.
Poor Bob is just one of God’s precious little angels who should’ve been drowned at birth.
I do so love that “letters to the editor” graphic…
Maybe it’s “my country” in quotes because with one of, you know, “those people” in charge it’s no longer “bob’s” country.
Hm; there’s a rather unhinged wignut who goes by lower-case bob who frequents a local Quizzo blog that I also do; now I’m wondering if this could be the same man. Although the other(?)) bob, while unhinged, can write coherently.
Bob, you’re Canadian, right? Your email accent sounds Canadian.
I hate to break it to you Bob , but you haven’t HAD a country since Lee surrendered and Jefferson Davis hauled ass with what was left of the Confederate Treasury .
[re=508397]freakishlystrong[/re]: Keep Dumbfukistan Free!
Is @comcast.net the new @aol.com?
Last time I checked, we are running this country. Which country are you talking about?
Bob sounds like the Montana nutjob who seceded from America only to seek political asylum after growing lonely in his cabin in that Mr. Show skit.
In case Bob hasn’t noticed, his fav beer company is now owned by furriners too also. And they’re polly frenchies.
Retarded wetback midget.
300,000,000 million of us , each claiming this is ” our country ” in our own personal sense of the term … we have temporary rights to whatever the square footage is in ” our own house-apt-car-rock-etc ” . that’s what we can claim as ” our own ” you stupid fucking asshole . also a blowhard twat
Another thing about Bob is how he keeps writing. Maybe if he keeps it up, he might stop this stupid paper from existing. Go Bob!
[re=508429]rmjag[/re]: Well, with “300,000,000 million of us” it’s a little crowded here!
Do I have to remind “Bob”: “This land is your land, this land is my land;…this land was made for you and me” Also.
This reminds me of “THX SANDRA” from passive aggressive notes.
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/05/28/it-takes-a-genius-to-come-up-with-a-potluck-theme-like-this-one/
Cut to the chase, “Bob”;
If you throw up anything bigger than a turd at 3:20am, seek medical attention.
Bob:
If you are sick of reading this newspaper, you should throw your computer monitor in the trash can. That will all of us a lesson, you betcha.
Need more ‘!!!1!1′.
[re=508390]CrunchyKnee[/re]: I believe those are tighty whiteys on his head.
and another thing. Your newspaper breaks into a million shards of glass when the paperboy throws it on my porch.
[re=508394]SmutBoffin[/re]: Sumpin tells me “Bob” Seger is not going to appreciate your MC-5 quotin’.
Hmmm…Atrios has a comcast.net email contact. Only sayin’…
[re=508446]Sen. Schlong[/re]: He would but he keeps electrocuting himself when he applies his scissors to his computer screen in order to clip out the coupons.
Come to think of it WONKETT WHERE ARE OUR COOPONS AND DON’T USE SNO AS AN XCUSE??!!1
He just means My Country, Hot 101.3 and thinks Wonkett needs more Toby Keith
[re=508386]An Outhouse[/re]: If bankers spent more time thinking about screwing Miranda Kerr, maybe they’d spend less time thinking about screwing you & me.
What do you mean, “YOU PEOPLE”?
It is possible, I suppose, that the 3 a.m. timestamp could indicate that bob is actually in another country. I doubt it, though.
Reading off the “screen” sometimes gives me a “neck” ache. Where can I subscribe to the paper edition of “your” little “paper”?
For the “comedy.”
Bob Angry! Bob Smash!
Sorry that this very unserious website has annoyed you, Bob. Why don’t you get drunk and go ride your ATV to unwind?
Sounds like WaPo just found itself a new guest columnist.
[re=508440]joeybrill[/re]: I just was unfaithful to Wonkette for about 15 minutes on that website, so thanks for making me into a slut.
Bob, I hate to break this to you: Colbert is also comedy. And Coulter is a transvestite performance artist. Beck–I think he is actually a retard, but he’s definitely in the minority.
It is suppose to be comedy. Thank God you person aren’t in charge of our “intertubz”
Where are “tbob2000″ and “give us a bob”…./scans the crowd/…this sounds like an inside job.
[re=508409]SmutBoffin[/re]: I call it “nah, I’m gonna stay home and clean the house tonight. thanks anyway”
I had a letter published in the local paper Sunday, and got my first piece of anonymous hate mail today (an incoherent collection of six pieces of photocopied drivel, misspellings and Michele Bachmann lust, addressed in a shakey hand). I feel like I have arrived. If you’re reading, “American News Center,” fuck you, and next time, send dead fish. They’re delicious.
Gotta say, the Trigster writes a gosh-darnit fine hate-email, considering that he’s almost two, home-skooled, wedged in sexpot Mommie’s armpit, and the spawn of a tax cheat. Also, thusly.
[re=508435]proudgrampa[/re]: But but but … the more the merrier !!! however , if we divide that 300 million million by a million it should still be merry . and then kick “bob” out and let an immigrant in to “own” his square footage …..a french person or a belgian one …………
you can suck seeds all day long fer i gib a durn, bob.
Soon the meth-lab vapors will corrode the guts of Bob’s ‘puter and he’ll be reduced to just yelling at his old lady again…
See how one little email can bring joy to so many.
Thanks Bob
3:20 AM!? Bob obviously lives in “Europe.”
Dear Bob,
Shut the fuck up.
Signed,
America
This
is why “I” love reading this site.
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