Everybody Has A Lot To Apologize For

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  • The president of Toyota — a tiny but prosperous island nation in Southeast Asia — apologized for selling people murderous demon-cars, but nobody will be satisfied until actual heads roll. [New York Times]
  • Another day of Shia religious festivals, another day of bombings. [BBC News]
  • Here is some tasty fresh two-day-old news! Jon Stewart went on Bill O’Reilly’s show and it was … exciting? We will probably post a Phun Phriday Video Clip of this exchange as a service to you, the Public. [Los Angeles Times]
  • The global stock markets are underwhelmed with the progress of economic recovery. [Washington Post]
  • Turns out you cannot just leave Haiti with a literal busload of children and hope nobody will notice. [Washington Post]
  • The menu at the NBC cafeteria for Black History Month had a discernible Negro dialect, which offended the drummer from The Roots, but not the black chef who created the menu. [New York Post]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • Texan Bulldoggette

    In Asia, don’t they usually kill themselves after making a bad business decision? Hmmmm…I think that would be a good policy for executives to adopt over here. I like it much better than taking my shoes off.

  • Terry

    Did you watch the video with the NBC cafeteria story? I really felt for the chef, an African-American lady who works to get what for her family is home cooking on the menu, then people hollered that it’s racist. Wow, I wonder if that drummer is going to apologize to her.

  • ManchuCandidate

    I would think the drummer would be more offended by the caloric intake than the actual menu.

    Some folks are too damned sensitive. Seems to be the US Americuh way. Explode about what is in fact chickenshit and ignore the systemic like forcing blacks and other minorities into subprime mortgages or why credit rating systems seem to favor whites (that shit makes me mad.)

  • the problem child

    “The group’s attorney here in Port-au-Prince, Edwin Coq, told reporters that nine of his 10 clients had little idea what they were doing.”

    So, basically, there is only one lawyer left in Haiti, and he is a penis.

  • tootsieroll

    [re=508167]Terry[/re]: Seriously. I bet his own mama would beat his ass for insulting the lady’s cooking. Shit, I wish I could get some homemade collards and beans.

    I sound like one of the wingnuts I hate, but really? Does “Paddy O’Rourke” get in a snit when they serve corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day? I mean, wtf? It’s supposed to be about celebrating culture and heritage. There’s such a thing as intent. Watermelons on the WH lawn sent to all your buddies after Obama is elected? Racist. Showing us your mad skills in the kitchen with some of the bestest southern treats? Bring it on. Nom!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The Baptist baby snatchers are utterly clueless. I saw a clip from a Haitian Voodoo priest who was complaining about all the Jesus zombies coming to Haiti to save them. As he was burning something that look like a mummified rodent with long hair he was yelling “Save us from what?”

  • Studebaker Hoch

    Now that the Baptists have botched the deal , who will Limbaugh turn to next to fill his child sex slave order?

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508163]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: spouse and I discussed that on way to work: “shouldn’t at least one executive be dead by now?” We decided it was because they have become too much like GM: quality issues and no seppuku.

  • JMP

    The Haiti story reinforces an important lesson: don’t trust Baptists. Somehow I suspect that their idea of “saving” the children they kidnapped didn’t primarily involve actually helping them get out of a horrible situation.

    “Madam Laura” sounds more like the name of a dominatrix than a charity leader, so it’s no surprise that she’d be involved in kidnapping. But I doubt that every single other person there was simply naive.

  • bitchincamaro

    What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
    A drummer.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508185]JMP[/re]: yeah, the groups that go over to “help” but are hard core, blood of Christ missionaries really piss me off. You can do charity and help people without conditioning it on their listening to your preaching. In fact, one can even be an atheist–gasp–and do good works not because Jeebus told you to, but because it is the right thing to do. Grr.

  • JMP

    [re=508180]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: And they’re not just annoying people; there’s a big problem with the religious “charity” workers’ proselytizing getting in the way of the people who are trying to actually give real help to the people of Haiti with their real, non-imaginary problems instead of trying to help their magical mystical pretend “souls”.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508194]JMP[/re]: hey, hows about we go save some missionaries? We can kidnap them and relocate them to the East Village.

  • JMP

    [re=508190]Doglessliberal[/re]: They remind me of a nun I had in grade school who told us, in all seriousness, that if we were ever with an unbaptized baby who started choking or having some other crisis, the first thing we should do, before trying to actually save the kid, was to give them an emergency baptism. So they could go to heaven instead of limbo if they died.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I’m in. Can I beat them before we save them?

  • magic titty

    [re=508167]Terry[/re]: I think Questlove is above “that drummer” status. He’s the fucking man. The end.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508214]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: yes. Pope John Paul used to self-flagellate, so it clearly is what Jeebus would want.

    [re=508209]JMP[/re]: all them sinnin’ (probably fornicatin’, too) babies need savin’

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508186]bitchincamaro[/re]: [re=508218]magic titty[/re]:


  • bitchincamaro
  • Doglessliberal


  • JMP

    [re=508223]Doglessliberal[/re]: It’s the good old original sin; all babies are born with it staining their souls for some reason, but a magic splash of water by any good believing Catholic can wash it away. Anyone who hasn’t been touched by the magic water is doomed to hell, though.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=508282]JMP[/re]: Hell is going to be full up.

  • Guppy06

    [re=508190]Doglessliberal[/re]: Until the atheists themselves start to evangelize.

  • Georgia Burning

    [re=508163]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Don’t be surprised if there’s some railroad delays around Nagoya this week, though usually they wait until after morning commute. The fast trains make it very easy, just take a step off the platform. The “severance package” is a Hefty bag. Even if we borrowed a few billions to build such a network here, it would pay for itself with the savings on executive bonuses and buy-outs