DAILY BRIEFING  8:48 am February 3, 2010

Turtles In Space!

by Sara K. Smith

  • Iran shot a rat, two turtles, and a worm into space. (This is what happens when Obama cuts the NASA budget.) [Los Angeles Times]
  • Having fixed the economy and America’s health care problems, President Obama now turns his attention to energy policy. [AP]
  • Admiral Mike Mullen thinks gays should be allowed to serve in the military. Is he aware that there’s a war on? [Wall Street Journal]
  • The president has embarked on a campaign to make Republicans look as dickish as possible for not working with him. [New York Times]
  • Illinois held a primary to determine who shall eventually replace the irreplaceable Senator Roland Burris. [Washington Post]
  • A new study shows an increasing number of consumers placing a higher priority on credit card payments than on their mortgage because, as one of the authors of the study puts it, “You cannot buy groceries with your house.” [Reuters]


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Sparky McGruff February 3, 2010 at 8:51 am

A rat, two turtles, and a worm walk into a bar… I think I forgot the punchline, damn.

Monsieur Grumpe February 3, 2010 at 8:57 am

A message from the Iranian space program…


ManchuCandidate February 3, 2010 at 8:59 am

Does that mean that each of those animals gets 72 virgins? How would that work for a worm as they are the Ann Coulters of the animal world, hermaphrodites?

red sky February 3, 2010 at 9:00 am

Apparently Iranians are big fans of TMNT’s and hope they get Donatello, Michalangelo and Splinter when the capsule comes back after traveling throught the cosmic radiation of space. As far as the worm? I don’t know Earh Worm Jim? Who knew they were such big comic book fans. Does this mean Neda= April O’Neil? Too Soon??

gurukalehuru February 3, 2010 at 9:01 am

I’m tired of these motherfucking worms on this motherfucking spaceship!

ladymacbeth February 3, 2010 at 9:08 am

jammakin should listen to eddie izzard’s rumination on the strategic advantages of trannies in the military.

might help with the whole cranky ‘get the gays off my lawn’ thing.

freakishlystrong February 3, 2010 at 9:13 am

I’m still laughing at the Dick Swett comments, I really need to stop having a life and just stay on Wonkett all night.

That being said, I’m loving the making the Rethugs look dickish. They are the party of dicks and assholes. See, moar dicks!

Mild Midwesterner February 3, 2010 at 9:13 am

I prefer Christian societies that launch two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree into space.

TGY February 3, 2010 at 9:14 am

Handily, Republicans can make themselves look very dickish. It just needs a brighter spotlight.

Does Iran have a plan for Ahmadinejad to eventually return to earth?

TGY February 3, 2010 at 9:15 am

“You cannot buy groceries with your house.”

Hence the utility of gingerbread as a construction material.

choinski February 3, 2010 at 9:17 am

Do not be fooled – Iran is testing WEAPONS! Turtley, wormey weapons.

charlesdegoal February 3, 2010 at 9:19 am

In other news, US soldiers killed in a country where there are no US troops.

WadISay February 3, 2010 at 9:19 am

Obama’s plan to make Republicans look dickish will add to our children’s deficit, create a new federal burocracy, deprive the elderly of medical care, and encourage our terrorist enemies.

JMP February 3, 2010 at 9:20 am

According to a joint message from John McCain and Joe Lieberman, we must take the opportunity to immediately bomb the shit out of the Iranian space launch facilities, because they just may be able to someday possibly build a giant space laser that will threaten America and Israel.

ManchuCandidate February 3, 2010 at 9:21 am

A big FRICK’N Laser?

JMP February 3, 2010 at 9:25 am

[re=506492]red sky[/re]: They also sent up FOUR cosmic animals. Truly, the Iranians have learned to cover all their comic book bases.

Cape Clod February 3, 2010 at 9:25 am

I can’t wait until the turtle comes back as Gamera and destroys Tehran

red sky February 3, 2010 at 9:31 am

[re=506508]JMP[/re]: I over looked that FANTASTIC point.

Norbert February 3, 2010 at 9:40 am

[re=506509]Cape Clod[/re]: leaked video of Iranian space program: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-UACM_8q_Q

WadISay February 3, 2010 at 9:46 am

[re=506513]Norbert[/re]: Mothra is not going to like this.

JMP February 3, 2010 at 9:47 am

[re=506507]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yes. And you know who else wanted to build big frick’n lasers in space?

Ronald Reagan. Who also sold weapons to the Iranians. I’m sensing a conspiracy here…

plowman February 3, 2010 at 10:02 am

So Ahmadinejad, two of 89 vice-presidents and ‘Supreme Leader’ Khamenei have been shot into space? Let’s hope they skimped on the re-entry heatshield…

dijetlo February 3, 2010 at 10:05 am

Hmmm…Since the launch of the “Pubs are childish cocksuckers” campaign, NOBAMAS!1!!!11! job approval numbers are up 4 points and his negatives are down 4 points while Olbermanns market share ticked up a half a percent…of course this could just be a Dick Sweat bounce….

southern mark smith February 3, 2010 at 10:14 am

[re=506513]Norbert[/re]: I was thinking more like this:


Doglessliberal February 3, 2010 at 10:27 am

[re=506499]TGY[/re]: yeah, zero points for difficulty on that campaign.

And OT, or to an earlier topic, is it really even NEWS now when Cranky McNasty changes his position on an issue?

mumblyjoe February 3, 2010 at 10:40 am


Clearly this is what the sentient space-moustaches have been trying to prevent, the whole time. If only we’d listened!

LittlePig February 3, 2010 at 10:41 am

Feh, the Soviets sent a turtle around the moon in ’68 (really). The Iranians have a lot of catching up to do.

Come here a minute February 3, 2010 at 11:03 am

Iran thought they could time travel using the worm’s holes.

Katydid February 3, 2010 at 11:35 am

Emboldened by the response to President Obama’s face-off with House Republicans last week…

That reminds me of an old joke…

Why did the lepers have to stop their hockey game?
Because there was a face-off in the center of the rink.

Ba dum dum

S.Luggo February 3, 2010 at 12:07 pm

[re=506500]TGY[/re]: And for years Glenndy Beck ate lead paint chips and asbestos ceiling tiles instead of running to the grocery store every time his tummy rumbled. That turned out okay.

Sharkey February 3, 2010 at 12:30 pm

I, for one, welcome our new Invertebrate Overlords.

Doglessliberal February 3, 2010 at 12:46 pm

[re=506617]Sharkey[/re]: We already had the Invertebrate Overload Administration from 2000-2008.

chaste everywhere February 3, 2010 at 1:23 pm

“I have served with homosexuals since 1968,” Adm. Mullen said. “There are a number of things cumulatively that get me to this position.”

Dunno know why, but to me there’s something so . . . sweet about that statement. The personal history, the convolutedly passive construction, the double entendre. Anyway . . .

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