Tenured Washington Post oxygen-consumer Richard Cohen, the World’s Worst Writer, has constructed another hilarious screed about Terrorism from the chunks of waste that have long lingered in his adult diaper. At least that’s our guess! We gave this one the ol’ “blogger read,” where you scan the opening paragraph somewhat closely for hilarity and then just read every other topic sentence until it’s over, it’s finally over, and you can start typing. Here’s a blockquote of the opening paragraph:
There is almost nothing the Obama administration does regarding terrorism that makes me feel safer. Whether it is guaranteeing captured terrorists that they will not be waterboarded, reciting terrorists their rights, or the legally meandering and confusing rule that some terrorists will be tried in military tribunals and some in civilian courts, what is missing is a firm recognition that what comes first is not the message sent to America’s critics but the message sent to Americans themselves. When, oh when, will this administration wake up?
Why bother picking this apart? One criticism should suffice: many of the words that Richard typed here should not have been typed. He could strengthen his argument by deleting many of these words and replacing them with nothing. After he types his first draft, he should go back to the beginning, and delete the first word. Then the second word. The third word, fourth, etc. Eventually he will have deleted each individual word in his first draft, and no words will remain. Then he’ll have an argument!