This Is Not The Chris Matthews Clip We Wanted But It Will Work

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When Chris Matthews forgot that Barack Obama was Kenyan for an hour, we remembered that Chris Matthews was insane, his whole life, back to the zygote stage. (“LEMME OUT, CHRIST ALMIGHTY…”) So here’s to more daily Tweety hilarity from now on. Operative “Tom S,” for one, caught this last night: “At about 1 minute before Hardball ended tonight, Tweety was discussing with his guests Obama at the Republican retreat the other day. He compared it ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ in which – and I quote – ‘the guy’s tied down by all the midgets.’” Unfortunately we could not procure this clip, so here’s some other one. [YouTube]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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51 comments

  1. Terry

    First, he’s talking about Obama being sensual, then imagining Obama tied down. This is NOT going to end well.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    What Jim shoulda said: “No, Chris, it’s the people’s money — let’s give them the five dollars back out of their taxes and let them spend it any way they want on health care.”

  3. JMP

    America’s little person community needs to give Tweety a big asskicking for comparing them to the House Republicans.

    Or maybe assheadbutting. (Because they’re little, get it?)

  4. Hooray For Anything

    [re=506021]gurukalehuru[/re]: I agree. I think it’s pretty much a decent metaphor for what’s going on. Tweety did, however, forget to say that it’s all Obama’s fault for being tied down like that because he’s been too liberal and not bipartisan enough.

    Obviously, what Obama needs to do to get untied is to bomb Iran.

  5. proudgrampa

    [re=506036]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Thank you for that. I love it when these blowhards get taken down a notch.

  6. bitchincamaro

    Yeah, I don’t even pay attention to this twat and I actually heard this last night. I spewed a decent cab sav, too. At least somebody is entertained by Barry and those goper dwarves.

  7. El Pinche

    2:39!! You can see the Psycho Matthews come out. That’s when they call Dr. Oz, MSNBC security, and Olbermann (armed with a baby pacifier ) .

  8. DustBowlBlues

    Good analogy–but did he call the midgets retarded? Whatever. Hopey’s at a town hall somewhere on the teevee, bashing the shit out of Republics. Finally.

  9. x111e7thst

    I once paid a bunch of midgets to tie me down. And slather me in yak butter. It was not nearly as much fun as I thought it would be.

  10. StoneAge

    We don’t go to blog with the Chris Matthews clip we want; we go to blog with the Chris Matthews clip we have.

    P.S., stop bagging on Tweety. He’s pretty entertaining to watch and his enthusiasm is infectious. Our side is allowed a blowhard or two that’s still on the sane side of O’Reilly.

  11. DustBowlBlues

    [re=506030]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Tweety is completely gay for Hopey, and since MSNBC has given up the idea of ever attracting a right-wing audience, they’ve just let everyone go seriously left. Which is why I watch it. That, and the prison shows.

  12. Radiotherapy

    I can’t believe he said tied DOWN. He should just quit right now. Not six months from now when Snowgrifter gets wind of this.

  13. WadISay

    I always thought of that bit from Gulliver’s Travels as about being surrounded by people with dicks a fraction of the size of mine.

  14. germansteel

    Tweety has an ad running for his show where he says that he is different from all the other talk shows. And, I agree.

    Just not in a way that is complimentary to him.

  15. JMP

    [re=506058]StoneAge[/re]: I wouldn’t call Matthews a liberal at all; his misogyny alone derails that. He’s more the reverse of Larry King, in that he goes out of his way to antagonize his guests, regardless of their political persuasion.

  16. V572625694

    [re=506094]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You like Dylan Rattigan? I agree with him for the most part, but he makes Olberman seem rational. Tweety’s in a class by himself, or if he isn’t, it’s a class where it doesn’t take very long to call the roll.

  17. teebob2000

    THAT’S ME!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!111 I’m a fucking OPERATIVE!!! You got that, all you other people… who aren’t operatives???!!!

    WOOOOO!!!!

  18. Oldskool

    [re=506059]El Pinche[/re]: I think Trent Lott has a store somewhere. Or maybe it was George Allen.

  19. DustBowlBlues

    [re=506102]V572625694[/re]: No, I can’t stand Rattigan. He’s the anti-union fuck. He always manages to slam unions, somehow. As if he hasn’t benefitted from his union.

    But my one, true, forever (as long as he doesn’t disagree with me) boyfriend, even more than Nate Silver and David Pflouffe, is David Schuster. He just had Arthur Laffer on his show–talk about a name that describes the person–who kept saying “we need to reduce taxes. I’m a Kennedy. Don’t pay people more money not to work, let them keep more of their money if they are working.” Huh? A Kennedy in what respect, moran?

    Then Schuster goes on to point out the obvious–Even if people keep taxes, they could put them under their mattresses or send them to Haiti (I made that part up) while the government would put money back into the American economy and Laff-a-Lot agreed, then said, “Cut taxes.”

    They went on to the presidents Laffline was gay for, like Clinton and Reagan and he agreed they were wonderful and taxes went up for the rich and the economy was great then said, “Cut taxes.”

    Then Schuster said well, Bush cut taxes and look what that did to the economy. And Bellylaff says, Bush wasn’t my favorite. No, it didn’t work. Cut taxes!

    Do these fucking retards ever get off message? Or listen to anyone but themselves? Laffer, indeed.

    And in honor of Rahm, I intend to use retard as often as possible.

  20. dijetlo

    Matthews is a high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

  21. Elephants Gerald

    [re=506120]DustBowlBlues[/re]: He (Schuster) also came out no too bad in “Control Room”. But I don’t love him. He’s just a man.

  22. Ducksworthy

    .01 to .07 Tick Tock Tick Tock Tweety stunned him.

    Oh and wait, we’d all be better off with all of our retirement security depending on the stock market.

    I didn’t realize/forgot they’d still want to privatize ss because loosing all your money is the opposite of socialism. These people aren’t pro-free markets or pro-capitalism or pro anything. Their formula for getting re-elected by the dimwitted constituents is to be Anti-Socialism. Kind of like the corrupt dictators we kept in power for so long because they claimed to be Anti-Communists.

  23. Ducksworthy

    [re=506036]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Why are you screaming…nice. But on the other hand, now I know who Kevin James is. Thank you very not.

  24. Citizen Kitteh

    In the original text version of Gulliver’s Travels, Gulliver pees on the Lilliputian’s royal palace to put out a fire. I’m eagerly anticipating Matthews using that as an analogy for Obama doing … something.

    Any suggestions?

  25. notarobot

    Wait, you have to find it! It was even better in that Matthews was spacing on the name Gulliver or couldn’t spit it out or whatever, and someone else had to come to the rescue.

  26. spikenard

    Please have a daily moment of CM’s insanity. He’s the best. He provides constant moments of bizarre hilarity and tortured analogies, all punctuated by a victorious HA! Unfortunately, we will never be treated to the intense and terrible CM/Olbermman tension from the election campaign again :(

    My two favourite CM moments:

    1. CM savages Kevin James: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK0d8ENS__c Part of the joy is CM asking someone else, ‘Why are you screaming?’

    2. ‘Barack Obama is Lawrence of Arabia’: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6gFDV2T8oU

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