rumors on the internets

Ayn Rand: As Dead As Ever, And Maybe More Boring Too!

  • Happy 105th birthday, Ayn Rand! If you were still alive, millions of Objectivists wouldn’t have to fantasize about having frantic, sweaty intercourse with your dead corpse. [Hit & Run]
  • Matthew turns up the sass! Look at him go! [Matt Yglesias]
  • Take your hot date to the new romantic comedy starring Hugh Grant, his health care, and some poor woman with lupus who is forced to marry Hugh Grant because she needs his health care. [Think Progress]
  • Jonah Goldberg is only 805 Twitter followers away from leveling up to a “Level 14 Twatter.” [The Corner]
  • The Super Bowl will feature “ads with scantily clad women and misogynistic men engaged in onscreen sexual perversion and debauchery akin to dogs in heat.” Where did Erick learn to write such delicious erotica? [RedState]

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

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44 comments

  1. Mr Blifil

    That’s not a very nice thing for Erik the Red to say about Tim Tebow, who could definitely hurt him.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    Awwww… Erick doesn’t think of the children just during his “special” alone time anymore. He actually cares about them.

  3. JMP

    Erick son of Erick shows he’s an idiot once again, what a surprise. He should know that feminists have long criticized the misogyny in many Superbowl commercials, and that if pro-choice groups tried to buy airtime it would almost certainly be rejected (like happened with that gay dating site ad this year).

  4. WadISay

    …scantily clad women and misogynistic men engaged in onscreen sexual perversion and debauchery akin to dogs in heat…

    He says that like it’s a bad thing.

  5. Alex_P

    [re=506235]Prommie[/re]: A is A! So accessible you don’t even need to turn the page in your alphabet book.

  6. Maus

    Whatever happened to that “Aynime” that some Randroid was supposed to come out with? It would have been the most hilarious otaku/Paultard masturbation fantasy ever.

  7. comicbookguy

    Doesn’t matter. Redstate is boycotting the Superbowl b/c they won’t let Rush Limbaugh play. Having scantily clad women is just one more turn-off for them.

    Instead they’ll have a Russell Crowe Gladiator movie-thon.

  8. ManchuCandidate

    [re=506244]Maus[/re]:
    Ayn Rand as a giant space squid that shot semen from it’s tentacles, lasers from its eyes and morphed into a wide eyed freaky looking “woman-girl”?

  9. Redhead

    The Super Bowl will feature “ads with misogynistic men engaged in onscreen crying and blubbering at their moderate-at-best football skills, akin to a fame whore trying to stretch her 15 minutes of fame longer.”
    fixed!

  10. Pithaughn

    Anybody know what this means? “Subtract away the nonsense of the non sequitur and we’re left with an inescapable conclusion: pro-choice groups view only one choice as meritorious.”
    I am guessing it is some sort of red herring, false choice, dog whistle?

  11. bureaucrap

    Actually, the Superbowl features men with artificially broadened shoulders and very tight tights. Now THAT’S a celebration of American freedom!!!

  12. SayItWithWookies

    Oh, Erick son of Erick is bitching about the Tim Tebow ad — where his mom says she didn’t get an abortion so you shouldn’t be allowed to, either. Of course, she doesn’t mention that the reason she didn’t get one was because they were illegal in the Philippines when she was there as a missionary and got sick while pregnant. But then lying in the service of The LORD has never been a big deal.

    Oh, and Erick — I don’t eat meat, which is a choice I have. I like that I’m allowed to make that choice. However, I don’t crusade to make it illegal for people to make a different choice. Not that you don’t understand the difference — what bugs me is that you think your readers are idiots for letting you make such a disingenuous argument. And your readers have your back on this.

  13. Escape Goat Nation

    I don’t really care about the Tim Jesus commercial being shown on National TV. I object to it being shown during the fucking Superbowl.

    I expect and demand commercials to include Banjo playing Monkeys for Ameritrade.

    Chicks with big tits eating Doritos while having pitchers of Milk poured all over them while they slap their ass and moan.

    19 year olds at a pool party dry humping each other on a playground while drinking Keystone light.

    A touching and heart tugging puppy and colt that are separated at the beginning but finally reunite at the end by an all knowing winking Clydesdale tugging a cart of beer that is essentially fermented Rice and Sand.

    A football player that is literally sweating out day-glo orange Gator-ade…which is only slightly more effective than kool-aid

    A fat ugly guy and another chick with big tits on a blind date arguing over Coors or Coors Light.

    A talking and dancing fucking baby that tells you that if you don’t buy Kraft Macaroni and Cheese you are a horrible Parent that is denying him/her happiness and any hope for the future.

    A Family with a daughter that is a crack whore and a son that has just been let out of prison for pedophilia put their past behind them and bond over a Burger King Whopper and medium fries.

    Ok, that’s the kind of sick bullshit I’ve come to love and expect from the Superbowl.

    I do not want to see Tim Jesus and his fucking Mom talk about abortion. That is valuable time wasted for the Energizer Bunny and another chick with big tits commercial they ought to be showing.

  14. mumblyjoe

    To be fair, given the sex scenes in her books, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t really mind, either way.

  15. coolcatdaddy

    Gee, thanks, Wonkette. The thought of hot sweaty sex with Ayn Rand’s corpse is the most disgusting and nauseating thing to come across my web browser since the last time I read a column by Richard Cohen.

  16. thesheriffisnear

    Yesterday we came to a consensus that Andrew Breitbart and Mathew Continetti were among the earth’s 4 most punchable humans. Do we agree that the “doughy pantload” makes the short list?

  17. bynrdskynrd

    [re=506292]HughJennicks[/re]: Hmm. Objectivism = almost satanic-like ‘Do what thou wilt’ damn-everyone-else mentality, coming from an amphetamine addict.

    Modern day ‘Tweaker’= Satanic-like ‘do as I please’ belief system due to amphetamine addiction…

    I get it now! “Atlas Shrugged” is a tweaker manifesto!

  18. Escape Goat Nation

    They already had the Punt, Pass and Kick competition during a playoff game so there really isn’t anything sexy enough during the Superbowl for the Freepers to watch.

  19. Joey Ratz

    [re=506233]WadISay[/re]: But, but… Erk, son of Erk is a conservative. He’s supposed to like misogyny!

    [re=506284]coolcatdaddy[/re]: So how about hot sweaty monkey sex with Ayn Rand’s corpse while reading a column by Richard Cohen, eh? What about that?

  20. Jim89048

    [re=506284]coolcatdaddy[/re]: I wonder if Ayn Rand’s reanimated corpse and St. Ronnie’s reanimated corpse ever–you know–get freaky together…

  21. ladymacbeth

    i love riley but i cannot — cannot — link to any of the entries in his portfolio.

    i just cannot do it.

  22. HughJennicks

    [re=506367]knobwurst[/re]: He doesn’t need to. All he has to do for a Jonah and the whale costume is go trick or treating with his mom Lucianne.

  23. Maus

    [re=506251]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Ayn Rand as a giant space squid that shot semen from it’s tentacles, lasers from its eyes and morphed into a wide eyed freaky looking “woman-girl”

    “Magical children” would have as much in common with economics as the rest of her books, so sure. Not a fan of the animes, but I like to imagine that that’s what her creepy cult of personality was like anyway.

  24. mookworthjwilson

    Why are they showing videos of Scott Brown’s family Christmas as ads during the Super Bowl?

  25. Jukesgrrl

    [re=506259]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You’re correct to note that “lying in the service of The LORD has never been a big deal.” In fact, KIDNAPPING in the service of the Lord and ENTERING FEDERAL PROPERTY UNDER FALSE PRETENSES in the service of the Lord have also become not big deals. This was a great week for crime and the Lord.

  26. TGY

    “ads with scantily clad women…”

    Thank Plastic Jesus, I don’t watch television. That’s what teh Youtubes is for.

  27. dinkybossetti

    [re=506343]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: If you hadn’t, you would have missed gems such as, “I pray to God that He has mercy on them – however, I hope that He doesn’t.”
    God has his work cut out for him, sorting out these people’s disingenuous prayers from their actual hopes.

  28. norbizness

    Are people here actually addressing points to Erick Erickson with the hope that if they’re outraged enough, they will seep through this website and be heard by him? I MEAN WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT THAT DICKSLAP THINKS.

  29. rebeccacoffey

    Brilliant! I’d also like to add mention of “Ayn Rand’s Head Cheese.” Step 1 is “Stand naked at the edge of a granite cliff. Laugh, letting no one know why.” And then some pretty unfortunate things happen to a pig. http://adjix.com/xpui

  30. ProThought

    This vitriol towards Ayn Rand is surprising to me for several reasons:

    1) I thought modern “liberals” valued compassion and individuals who challenge convention by contributing to the marketplace of ideas. Surely you can disagree with someone’s ideas without calling them a bad person and mocking them when they are dead, can’t you? Ayn Rand was an immigrant who worked her way up from nothing into a best-selling author. She never hurt anyone, and to the best of our knowledge she was a responsible member of society. Rather than articulating reasons as to why you don’t agree with her philosophy, you resort to bashing a dead woman.

    2) Ayn Rand, herself, was a liberal. She was against outlawing abortion, she detested racism, she spoke out aggressively against corruption wherever it existed (in government, in business, etc). She felt that each individual should be free to live their lives however they choose, as long as they do not prevent other people from seeking their own happiness. And she was against integrating religion into government or government-sponsored institutions.

    Are these values not consistent with liberalism? Are they evil?

    What I think a lot of people don’t understand is that the difference between Ayn Rand and most, is that she followed the values listed above to their logical conclusion.

    That is why people on both the left and the right hate her. Because she didn’t care about their politics, and so she made enemies with liberals because she believed strongly in individual (versus collective) responsibility, and with conservatives, because she believed strongly in rational thought versus mystical thought.

    Rand helped generations of people to understand that values need to be more than valued, they need to be lived. Unfortunately many people either misunderstand Ayn Rand, or find that her message of individual responsibility is inconsistent with their goals. As Ayn Rand said, those who preach self-sacrifice are there to collect the sacrificial offerings.

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