• February 16, 2012

Terrifyingly angry Internet person Andrew Breitbart went to New Hampshire this weekend! And he talked to some people! Here he is, drinking a glass of iced rubbing alcohol, saying, “So why am I so happy to travel across the country? Because Watergate Jr. imploded.” The crowd erupts in applause — it’s not everyday that rural New Hampshirites get to hear one of them fancy West Coast non-sequiturs. He’s right though! Watergate Jr. did implode, when the police arrested them. [NowHampshire]

{ 78 comments }

Tommmcatt February 1, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Gay, gay, gay, gay gay.

Disco February 1, 2010 at 3:13 pm

These are the last days of Disco, baby.

Fuck you, Breitbart.

progressiveinga February 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Tim Gunn, is that you? Make it work, bitches. http://bespectacled.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/tim_gunn.jpg

El Pinche February 1, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Up and coming Breibart sites:

BigPeople (anti people), BigGod (he hates God now), BigCock (he hates himself for urning for cocks in every manhole), BigTaint (spin off of BigCock)

thefrontpage February 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Is Breitbart French for Bigfart?

thesheriffisnear February 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Dude, you are so toast.

snideinplainsight February 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Aye, fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade ALL the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!

Way Cool Larry February 1, 2010 at 3:17 pm

[re=505325]Tommmcatt[/re]: omg, totally!

Why are they applauding this dweeb? Or is it some sort of weird video fakery?

Way Cool Larry February 1, 2010 at 3:18 pm

WTF, is he talking about, anyway?

WHo are the decadent basterds? The media? The bankers?

JMP February 1, 2010 at 3:19 pm

“The Last Days of Disco” was a pretty fun movie, but what does that have to do with Breitbart’s underling’s scandal? Maybe he’s comparing O’Keefe to Chris Eigeman; both are smug, annoying assholes, but in Eigeman’s case it’s called acting.

SmutBoffin February 1, 2010 at 3:21 pm

[re=505335]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Take your pick! One of the Tenets of Conservatism is that scapegoating doesn’t need to be very specific.

Gopherit February 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Hey Breitbart, who is fronting for their lawyers? I can’t wait to see your name on an indictment.

bitchincamaro February 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm

What the fuck is this lunatic drinking?

FMA February 1, 2010 at 3:23 pm

[re=505334]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Really? You think it might have something to do with mentioning “The Last Days of Disco” and using the phrase “going down” in the same incoherent rant?

Alexander the Large February 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Breitbart is to the mainstream media what punk was to disco: More angry, incoherent and destined to leave everyone involved with him destitute within five years

SayItWithWookies February 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Furthermore, legal representation for the accused has gone on record stating there were no intentions to bug phones in the Senator’s office.

That’s the reason people think conservatives have so much integrity — they’re always willing to take the side of the accused. I mean, if you’re accused of a crime and your lawyer says you didn’t do it, that pretty much lets you off the hook, doesn’t it? And if there’s one thing Breitbart and his merry band of leafy-green-tights-clad crusaders fights for every day, it’s the rights of the accused. Truth to Powerrrrrr!

smitallica February 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Breitbart is easily one of the four most punchable people walking the earth,

ManchuCandidate February 1, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Where’s there’s a douchesack, there’s a scandal.

All it takes one of your boytoys to turn…

Crank Tango February 1, 2010 at 3:29 pm

[re=505343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Truth to Powerrrrrr!

Veri-tittie-ta-tas! er, veritas!

Suds McKenzie February 1, 2010 at 3:30 pm

You cant handle the truth – This is Souter Town!

SlouchingTowardsWasilla February 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm

The Decadent Bastards would be a good name for… no, wait, actually, it wouldn’t. Maybe a gay band. Adam Lambert could be in it. And Breitbart.

TeddyKGB February 1, 2010 at 3:35 pm

My gaydar detector just squirted mayonnaise everywhere.

thesheriffisnear February 1, 2010 at 3:38 pm

[re=505345]smitallica[/re]: I’d say Matthew Continetti tops your list but, yes, Breitbart makes the cut.

http://static.crooksandliars.com/files/movieimages/2009/12/11270.jpg

Extemporanus February 1, 2010 at 3:38 pm

[re=505340]bitchincamaro[/re]: I’m guessing it’s a “Watergate, Jr.”, which is a cocktail consisting of equal parts post-nasal drip, pre-cum, and tranny tears shaken in a used douche bag and served straight up.

imissopus February 1, 2010 at 3:39 pm

I thought L.A. seemed particularly bright and sunny this weekend.

qwerty42 February 1, 2010 at 3:40 pm

teh acornz are behind it!!! Breitbart sez so (thankz to TPM)

teebob2000 February 1, 2010 at 3:43 pm

I thought the smug, self-satisfied little “thank you” at the end a nice (and unexpected) touch of etiquette.

lawrenceofthedesert February 1, 2010 at 3:46 pm

When lacking coherent thoughts, drink and cuss.

Sleeves February 1, 2010 at 3:46 pm

[re=505328]progressiveinga[/re]: Tim Gunn is among the last of the born-risible Boomers. Breitbart couldn’t get an honorary into Generation Jones from an unaccredited Independent Domain Registrar.

dijetlo February 1, 2010 at 3:47 pm

“Why am I happy to travel across the country…”?
It makes it that much harder for the US Marshalls to find you.
Everybody knows that.
BTW, Andy, they’ve got your mothers basement staked out, so you’d better keep moving…
and stop getting drunk, if you pass out they’ll pop you for sure.

norbizness February 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm

He’s like the John Mitchell of the 21st century Watergaters, except that it’s his own man-tit caught in a wringer.

smitallica February 1, 2010 at 3:50 pm

[re=505358]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Oh fuck. I forgot about that guy. When I saw him on Bill Maher’s show I thought Jeffrey Toobin was gonna knock his punk ass out. And when you get Toobin all riled up, you now you’re a fucking world-class douche.

Ducksworthy February 1, 2010 at 3:52 pm

[re=505342]Alexander the Large[/re]: Or dead of an overdose.

JMP February 1, 2010 at 3:53 pm

[re=505335]Way Cool Larry[/re]: The decadent bastards are the bank & other financial executives who bankrupted our economy and yet are still giving themselves massive bonuses.

Oh wait, you meant who does Brietbart mean by the decadent bastards. In that case, it’s any poor people who manage to find any joy in life and do not properly grovel before their betters.

El Pinche February 1, 2010 at 3:54 pm

[re=505356]TeddyKGB[/re]: Hahahaha

DP February 1, 2010 at 3:54 pm

[re=505359]Extemporanus[/re]: With a twist!

bitchincamaro February 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=505359]Extemporanus[/re]:

“The Jimmy Olson”:

one part Glenn’s Ball Sweat
one part eye of Newt
one part unicorn puree
strained through K-Lo’s giant underpants
garnished with a liberal dash of poppycock

Guppy06 February 1, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=505340]bitchincamaro[/re]: Same stuff as Peggy Noonan.

Come here a minute February 1, 2010 at 3:59 pm

There aren’t enough of his Watergate Jr.’s to take on all of us Decadent Bastards.

He feels the pain of everyone
Then he feels nothing

GayInMaine February 1, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Oh my God, I’m not that gay. And I’m pretty damn gay.

AlphaLiberal February 1, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Is it me or does Breitbart sound gay? Really gay?

But he’s also a sourpuss. So, he’s, what, a gay sourpuss?

He’s very confusing!

SayItWithWookies February 1, 2010 at 4:04 pm

[re=505366]qwerty42[/re]: I’ve been waiting for Breitbart to expose how ACORN is DOJ’s puppetmaster. It’s another step in the long process of revealing how an elaborate network of poor inner-city blacks have secrretly manipulated the Federal government to benefit them for the last eighty years.

HipHopOpotamus February 1, 2010 at 4:08 pm

[re=505343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Now now now… OJ said he didn’t do it, so it’s obvs the truth. (In)famous people don’t lie!

Bearbloke February 1, 2010 at 4:09 pm

[re=505390]DP[/re]: “With an anal twist!”

/fixed

Bearbloke February 1, 2010 at 4:12 pm

[re=505406]SayItWithWookies[/re]: sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Ixnay on the ullshitebay…

Prommie February 1, 2010 at 4:14 pm

These people do not live in the “reality based” community, they create their own reality. Breitbart is Angry and Stern because he is engaged in the Serious Work or Rescuing Civilization from the Forces of Evil. “They” may mock him (the deluded, misguided, or stupid scoffers) but he is engaged in a Crusade To Save The World. The voices in his head sound like the movie trailer guy, when he thinks about himself, and he Shouts in Capital Letters when he thinks.

Henry IV at Agincourt, thats who he thinks he is.

Tommmcatt February 1, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=505400]GayInMaine[/re]:

Right? I’d have to wear panties and capri pants to get that gay.

One Yield Regular February 1, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Golly. He seems like such a lovable lug, such a warm, tender, sensitive, huggable teddy bear of a sweet guy. Nonetheless, the premature grey and the pouty face lead me to think that just maybe he could use a kitten. Anybody want to send Andrew Breitbart a kitten? Everybody?

Lascauxcaveman February 1, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Geez, you guys aren’t kidding about the gay thing.

ThisIsNotAnAvatar February 1, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Is that a vertical smile on your veritable ass, or is it just a cracker’s crack?

El Pinche February 1, 2010 at 4:27 pm

[re=505424]One Yield Regular[/re]: I’m fresh out of kittens, but I have some spare bags of dick. Free shipping!!

AlphaLiberal February 1, 2010 at 4:27 pm

[re=505424]One Yield Regular[/re]: Poor kitten doesn’t deserve that.

Extemporanus February 1, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=505390]DP[/re]: [re=505413]Bearbloke[/re]: Better make his a double.

[re=505394]bitchincamaro[/re]: “DRAAAINNNAAAGE!”

Gopherit February 1, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=505428]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: So what? He likes decadent bastards to go down? What’s so gay about that?

dinkybossetti February 1, 2010 at 4:37 pm

Whoa. I live in Manchester, NH. I thought the vibration in the air was over Milan Lucic’s autograph signing event at the Mall of New Hampshire. I had no idea the last days of disco were (finally!) being declared and decadent bastards were going down right here in my town.

Bearbloke February 1, 2010 at 4:39 pm

This Breitfart prat seems to be spending quite a bit of his time and capital on defending the Watergate Jr. teabuggers and their crimial/terrorist activities…. hmmm, doesn’t your country have laws regarding the funding of terrorism and crimial activities…..?

“Mr. Breitbart, the FBI is ringing on line one, and your lawyer is on line two – shall I three way these calls to you?”

AlphaLiberal February 1, 2010 at 4:41 pm

[re=505456]dinkybossetti[/re]: I didn’t notice that before. Wild applause from the conservatives assembled for “these decadent bastards are going down.” What is it a gay porn theater?

TeddyKGB February 1, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Wow, I was making gay jokes about Andrew Breitbart before I even knew he was under Matt Drudge for years and still occasionally does favors for him: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drudge_Report#Origins

chaste everywhere February 1, 2010 at 5:01 pm

From the best MST3K short ever, “Mr. B. Natural”:
“Oscar Wilde only dreamed of being this gay.”

Mr Blifil February 1, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Here’s one guy who’s intimately acquainted with “gag orders,” rubber balls, giant fist dildos, whatever…

queeraselvis v 2.0 February 1, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Shorter Andrew Buttboy: I just can’t quit you, David Shuster!

S.Luggo February 1, 2010 at 5:13 pm

[re=505343]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, what mister big-city, smart guy attorney for Pimpy O’Keefe said was, “there were no intentions [plural] to bug phones [plural]“.

Gotta listen close when lawyers speak. They’ll tricks you and deceives you.

qwerty42 February 1, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=505406]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’ve been waiting for Breitbart to expose how ACORN is DOJ’s puppetmaster.
Does hand-waving count? What about saying that ACORN is behind all of it? Maybe they are also being aided by the dreaded “SEIU thugs”.

desertwind February 1, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Didn’t watch Breitfart, but I’ve got a question.

When the three stooges (O’Douche, Dai and that other guy) were released from to spend the night at Wetmore’s crib (while Flanagan went to dad’s? the Pelican Thingie? ground?), the judge told them they couldn’t talk about the case.

So, how come O’Keefe is “allowed” to blab about the case all over hell and creation?

Cannot wait for the judge to flip out and revoke his bond. Please.

M Lite February 1, 2010 at 5:43 pm

How much does one have to pay to listen to this teabag masturbating bullshit? What the hell is he talking about? Was McPimpin cleared of all charges and Wonkette didn’t inform us?

desertwind February 1, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Woah! Okay. I just watched a few seconds with the sound off.

I’m not surprised Breitbart is gay, but man — drunk as all get out, ain’t he?

engulfedinflames February 1, 2010 at 6:21 pm

The longer I watched (no audio) the pinker the microphone became.

Long Form Def Certificate February 1, 2010 at 6:49 pm

If the camera were to shoot his leg positioning, we’d see each foot as an extension of its side’s respective podium base.

Mr Blifil February 1, 2010 at 7:29 pm

[re=505539]M Lite[/re]: This is a time honored Atwater strategy. While an investigation is forming and court hearings are in the offing, you pretend the trial already happened and that the party whose image you are attempting to rehabilitate has been exonerated and most importantly emerged a winner.

Rajul February 1, 2010 at 7:41 pm

I was gonna ask if anyone else saw the gayness shining from Breitbart like a giant rainbow, but then I read the posts.

El Pinche February 1, 2010 at 7:47 pm

[re=505607]Rajul[/re]: Yeah, someone up there squirted mayonnaise cuz their gaydar was pegged.

Jim89048 February 1, 2010 at 9:42 pm

[re=505605]Mr Blifil[/re]: Kinda like when palin said she had been cleared of any wrongdoing, right?

schvitzatura February 1, 2010 at 10:00 pm

So ya thought ya might like to go to the show.
To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that teabagger glow.

clientnumber8 February 1, 2010 at 10:18 pm

PAGING LARRY FLINT! Someone needs to put a bounty on this guy’s sexual proclivities. I’ve got $5 on it.

clientnumber8 February 1, 2010 at 10:18 pm

FLYNT, gah, mybad.

drpangloss February 2, 2010 at 1:50 am

Henry V at Agincourt. Henry IV: the Quickening and Henry IV: Electric Buggaloo.

Andrew Briebart at teabagville! For Our Freedombs!

SkoalRebel February 2, 2010 at 3:58 am

That’s a pretty harsh way to talk about those four “investigative journalists.” They’re your own employees!

Lutipold February 2, 2010 at 7:46 am

“LET’S TAKE DOWN THESE DECADENT BASTARDS” he said and then sipped his cognac.

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