Sarah Palin Endorses Rand Paul, Says Rand Paul

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The new Scooter LibbyFormer weekend sportscaster Sarah Palin, the President of Money, has allegedly endorsed the actual Son of God & Allah combined, Rand Paul, for his Kentucky senate GOP primary. Rand Paul announced this endorsement on his website and noted that her PAC has given him a monkey-buttload of cash. Hmm… does Sarah Palin know about Rand Paul’s foreign policy? That he wants to end our war on Saddam Hussein and 9/11? Or perhaps he’s sold out on that Unserious position by now, because, you know, “Kentucky.” In any event, Ben Smith adds, “Paul is claiming the endorsement, but worth noting that we haven’t had a statement from Palin yet.” Since when do endorsers actually have to endorse people, Ben? [Rand Paul via Ben Smith]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • norbizness

    Late Ms. Bouvier [video-will]: Now let’s get down to business…

    Hutz [voice dubbed in]: To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.

    Marge: Mr. Hutz!!!

    Hutz: You’d be surprised how often that works, you really would.

  • El Pinche

    “does Sarah Palin know about Rand Paul’s foreign policy?”

    Uh, we’re talk about our Sarah. Her word salads come from her thought salads. Palin is a salad bar of stupidity.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I could easily believe she’d endorse him despite completely disagreeing with his foreign policy ideas because I could also easily believe she could endorse him without knowing anything about him

  • Terry

    Palin probably doesn’t know half the things she’s spending her new found wealth on. That donation to Rand Paul? She could think it went to pay off her monthly Taco Bell bill.

  • LittlePig

    Yeah, but does he have a blimp?

  • ManchuCandidate

    You’ve got your famewhoring ignorance in my libertarian blimp.

    You’ve got your libertarian blimp in my famewhoring ignorance!


    Two great crazies together at last!

    Rand’s Tardation Sippy Cups!

  • snideinplainsight

    She’s just jonesing for a ride on a real blimp (if you know what I mean. And I’m sure you do.)

  • FMA

    Is he Trig’s real father?

  • Tommmcatt

    Rand is nowhere near as sexy as his father.

  • Aurelio

    [re=505274]El Pinche[/re]: Right. Sarah Palin thought Africa was a country. I read that right here on Fat Acceptance Central, er, Wonkette.

  • JMP

    Rand also could’ve figured that Sarah pays so little attention to news that doesn’t directly involve her that he could claim her endorsement and she’d never notice, or make the effort to correct him if she did.

    And he’d probably be right.

  • thesheriffisnear

    An endorsement from “Failin” is the kiss of death, while wearing those wax lip thingies.

  • tiny mexican

    “Challenged by the Trey Grayson Senate campaign to state if he agreed or disagreed with his former spokesman’s belief that the United States government was responsible for the attacks on September 11th, Senate candidate Rand Paul instead criticized Grayson for asking the question, but did not address his own 9/11 position.”

    Oh yes, I like.

  • Radiotherapy

    This is just like the fall of the Roman Empire people!!!!

  • Suds McKenzie

    He shall be Quizat Trig’s Mentat.

  • JMP

    Q: Sarah, which candidate do you support in the Kentucky Republican Senate primary?

    A: All of ’em.

  • Extemporanus

    I thought for sure Palin would endorse the other Paul who, like her, is famous for running in high heels, pantyhose, and too much makeup.

    “18 million cracks” my ass, Sarah!

  • S.Luggo
  • Gopherit

    His dad will whoop his ass if he stays with that war-mongering, torture supporting hussy.

    Just wait Rand! See how it feels to have literally DOZENS of angry paultards snapping at your heels!

  • Cape Clod

    Paul has also agreed to do a nude photospread for Atlas Shrugged Monthly. Also.

  • El Pinche

    Rand on Palin : ‘Giant In American Politics’

    Don’t you actually have to be a politician (e.g. Governor ) in the first place?..not some former failed governor/media whore?

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=505312]Cape Clod[/re]:

    Considering their last centerfold was Jonah Goldberg this should help pick up sales.

  • southern mark smith


    –Kodos (or Kang, who knows?)

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Wow, Sarah’s PAC can be used for so many things!

  • ArtOfSilence

    Breaking News: (It could be so over with…) Palin enters self in Tidy Bowl sweepstakes and the subliminal secret of her family name:

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Sarah and Rand are connected by never having had an original thought. That someone could rival Bunning in The Silliest Senator Contest is pretty darn awesome, but ol’ Randy might have it in him.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=505304]Suds McKenzie[/re]: He is Paul Muad’Lib! His name is a ___________ word!

  • FMA

    [re=505322]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: I do believe that Sarah has had an original thought. I mean, she thought she has important things to say about the state of our nation and civilization and as far as I know, no other sentient being could have thought that.

  • TGY

    Maybe it was a drive-by endorsement.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=505323]Extemporanus[/re]: And Sarah Palin holds the “cries” knife.

  • Diana Davies

    Is Bristol handling his PR?

  • foulmouthed mrscreant

    [re=505319]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Makes me want to scream. What business did this private citizen have to step foot on army posts with her asshat of a father talking shit about the Prez while traveling in a bus with PAC all over it? Bought $62,000 worth of her own piece of shit fiction, Fuck, you can buy it for a dollar today!
    She spent more buying her own book than she did contributing to politicians, I bet.

  • Barrelhse

    Why won’t she deny it?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=505351]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Some thoughts have a certain sound, that being equivalent to a form named “Trig”.

  • Snarkalicious

    Rand’s Tardation Sippy Cups:
    2oz Diesel Grain Spirits
    1 Pinch Lemon Zest
    4 olives on 2 toothpicks
    1/8 cup Margarita Salt

    1. Coat rim of Highball glass in margarita salt and set aside.
    2. Shove toothpicks in eyes and shake vigorously, sprinkling lemon zest and buck like a chicken.
    3. Pour spirits on crotch, light with bar match.
    4. Break highball on edge of bar, jam through neck.
    5. Pray for death to come swiftly.
    6. Claim endorsement from Sarah Palin.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=505308]S.Luggo[/re]: Moronic Convergence is a win for Little Green Footballs, getting witty as he sobers up.

  • S.Luggo
  • Maus

    Paultards, they never fail to associate with morons like Palin/Bachmann, never fail to be exploited by insincere opportunists like Palin/Bachmann.

  • Maus

    [re=505309]Gopherit[/re]: “His dad will whoop his ass if he stays with that war-mongering, torture supporting hussy.”

    His dad is just as stupid as him when it comes to politicians who speak out of both sides of their mouth.

  • alzronnie

    Rand’s father is Rue Paul, not Ron. Check out the eye makeup on that pix.

  • glamourdammerung

    Is Rand hanging out with Palin worse or better than Rand’s dad hanging out with neo-Nazis?

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=505288]Tommmcatt[/re]: “Rand is nowhere near as sexy as his father.”

    He’s missing that oh-so-hawtt Pittsburgh accent.

  • zhubajie

    As I recall, Kentucky leads the USA in missing teeth. Also it’s economy is based tobacco (legal) and whacky tobaccy (illegal). Maybe Rand Paul should concentrate on legalizing the whacky.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You can’t blame Rand Paul for being confused. Palin was asked who she supported in the race, and she answered “All of them.” If you were Paul, wouldn’t you interpret that as an endorsement?

  • Oh hell to the no

    I’m embarrassed for myself because I thought all this time “Rand Paul” was just you guys calling Ron Paul a punny name based on Ayn Rand and/or the Rand Corporation. I’m a fucking idiot, so I’ll go now.

  • Mr Blifil

    On Monday, The Washington Post confirmed that Sarah Palin has endorsed Paul’s campaign.

    Oh well. Ok then.

  • rev_matt_y

    [re=505686]Oh hell to the no[/re]: It was a fair assumption on your part that there’s no way Ron Paul was able to find someone to procreate with.

  • nader paul kucinich gravel

    Roy Orbison sang for the lonely
    Hey that’s me and I want you only