INSTANT CLASSICS  4:09 pm January 29, 2010

Virginia Foxx Won’t Let Partisanship Get In Way Of Her Autograph Collection

by Jim Newell

Absolutely insane North Carolina swamp angel Rep. Virginia Foxx hates that lecturin’ taxy-spendy sumbitch Kenyan hobgoblin liar fraud Barack Obama. On the other hand, she’d love to touch his penis. [Twitter via Teresa Kopec]

 
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{ 88 comments }

Tommmcatt January 29, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Think she threw her panties on the stage?

Work in Progress January 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

How can people live with themselves while they’re spewing this kind of demonstrably untrue vile all day, every day? I just don’t get it.

Ducksworthy January 29, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Hmmmm you may be on to something. Is it possible that “long form birf certficate” is teabagger slang for “penis”?

progressiveinga January 29, 2010 at 4:17 pm

For the amount of time it takes to ask for an autograph, she forgot he was black.

bitchincamaro January 29, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Too bad he didn’t give you a stool sample, bitch.

Red Zeppelin January 29, 2010 at 4:18 pm

How is it that these southern lady politicians get to use their porn star names? Are you sure it’s “Virginia”?

WarAndG January 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Foxx Twat

ManchuCandidate January 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Ginnie’s idea of a “lecture” is someone using fancy schmancy words like “budget”, “respect”, “intelligence” and “was.”

Doglessliberal January 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

[re=504493]Work in Progress[/re]: The current upswell of morons, liars, and generally evil people in this country is making it very difficult for me to maintain a Zen-like calm, live in the moment, and be thankful for every day and all that I have. Not that I ever get there, but it is nice to try. With the current state of affairs, I either have to stop reading/hearing/abosorbing in any way news of any kind or run 20 miles a day to drown in endorphins and exhaustion.

V572625694 January 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: Ew.

Smoke Filled Roommate January 29, 2010 at 4:20 pm

No, she got Orange Boner’s autograph. He’s part of her “shower fantasies”..

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm

If Virginia’s twitvatar looked any more manly, she’d have to change her last name to “FoXY”.

snideinplainsight January 29, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Naughty congress-ladies need love too!

you cannot be serious January 29, 2010 at 4:24 pm

Uppity white lady.

Doglessliberal January 29, 2010 at 4:24 pm

[re=504503]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: oh, ew.

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 4:25 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: No.

Despite what they may claim, the GOP is not a big tent party.

Monsieur Grumpe January 29, 2010 at 4:26 pm

She needs an independent fact checker? Is she so far removed from reality that she needs someone to tell what is true or not?

SayItWithWookies January 29, 2010 at 4:27 pm

She just wanted it in case he makes something of himself someday. With those kids and their natural rhythm, you never know.

bitchincamaro January 29, 2010 at 4:27 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: Yes.

Tommmcatt January 29, 2010 at 4:28 pm

[re=504512]Extemporanus[/re]:

FTW.

McDuff January 29, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Teabaggers crying “Foxx is a RINO” in 3, 2, 1 …

J January 29, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Let’s put her and the always hilarious Michelle Bachmann in a steel cage and let them battle for Craziest Bitch in Congress honors.

Smoke Filled Roommate January 29, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Such a handsome woman. Wait–is that a glass eye?

McDuff January 29, 2010 at 4:32 pm

BTW, in Republican “independent fact checker” means (1) Glenn Beck, (2) Sean Hannity, (3) Rush Limbaugh, or (4) any combination of 1, 2, or 3.

Mustang January 29, 2010 at 4:32 pm

Watch out if she tells you she’s been savin’ up nickels to hire you to bust up a old chiffarobe, Barry.

proudgrampa January 29, 2010 at 4:34 pm

[re=504501]Doglessliberal[/re]: Drinking helps me.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 29, 2010 at 4:34 pm

Can you blame Rep. Foxx? Back when she was young, you didn’t have to put up with an uppity black man lecturing you with facts and figures. You just used them in your fantasy to give some excitement to your life when your fat white husband was laying on top of you.

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 4:38 pm

[re=504522]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: No.

It’s her last remaining marble, trying like hell to escape.

AutomaticPilot January 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm

[re=504499]WarAndG[/re]: +1

imissopus January 29, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Betsy McCaughey to begin her independent fact check in 3…2…1…

give us a bob January 29, 2010 at 4:42 pm

[re=504514]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Well, when you put it like that, yes.

BlueStateLibtard January 29, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Translation: “I can’t stand him, I can’t stand him…but oh, he’s so dreamy.” Swoon.

Snarkalicious January 29, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Needs moar context.

assistant/atlas January 29, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Where all the white women at who don’t look like mannish pale raisins?

[re=504524]Mustang[/re]: I got the reference!

Monsieur Grumpe January 29, 2010 at 4:48 pm

[re=504522]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:
A lovely lady. She must’ve been something before electricity.

Escape Goat Nation January 29, 2010 at 4:50 pm

You can not put a price tag on the wisdom from the elderly.

Tlmsd January 29, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Damn, why y’all all hard on that ugly ol’ white bitch?

jetjaguar January 29, 2010 at 4:57 pm

“need independent fact checkers”

Or you could, I don’t know, learn shit on your own.

MzNicky January 29, 2010 at 4:59 pm

[re=504524]Mustang[/re]: Nice one.

Katydid January 29, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Guys, y’all missing the real story. This “Teresa Kopec” is clearly one of us (looks around the room), which you’d know if you’d have bothered to read her Twitter feed.

In any case, check out this hilarious video, which explains how news wankers put together news bits. Do it right now, because the BBC has made the poster take it down before.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtGSXMuWMR4&feature=player_embedded

Ducksworthy January 29, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=504494]Ducksworthy[/re]: And so “Show us your long form birf certificate” really means “Show us your schlong”

Ducksworthy January 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm

[re=504556]Katydid[/re]: OMG that’s the very maggot gnawing away at the heart of western culture

WadISay January 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm

Our white, doughy guys asked great questions. There, fixed.

Hooray For Anything January 29, 2010 at 5:09 pm

So the Republicans are running around TV and saying the whole thing was a win for them because Obama acknowledged the fact they have proposals. They should get a gold star! Even if Obama basically told them whatever plans they have sucked and aren’t serious about introducing them. Or that Pence couldn’t answer the question about what the Republican plan for health care is. But still, gold star!

El Pinche January 29, 2010 at 5:09 pm

Barry signed Virginia’s utters. You laugh, but she’s the hottest thang at Butch Bitch Titty-Off at Sturgis.

Sussemilch January 29, 2010 at 5:09 pm

‘Our guys asked great questions, our girls got his autograph.’ See how it is, Republicans? Give us what we want or Obama the Piper is going to lure away the chicks with his “magic flute.”

donner_froh January 29, 2010 at 5:10 pm

“Need independent fact checkers for his comments”

It would be nice if such an organization existes that could provide Congress with the vital, analytical support it needs to address the most complex public policy issues facing the nation. Its work incorporates program and legislative expertise, quantitative methodologies, and legal and economic analysis.

Like the Congression fucking Research Service. The above is from their website.

What a moran.

Escape Goat Nation January 29, 2010 at 5:11 pm

[re=504556]Katydid[/re]: Thanks, that was great.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 29, 2010 at 5:13 pm

[re=504565]El Pinche[/re]: And this, my friend, is good news for Megs McCain.

Don't Mess with Joe January 29, 2010 at 5:17 pm

She’s probably trying to match the signature with Barry’s birth certificate.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 29, 2010 at 5:22 pm

[re=504514]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Actually, she doesn’t care if it is true or not. She is a Republican after all.

Cheney Guevara January 29, 2010 at 5:26 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]:

http://www.ehow.com/how_2077105_buy-granny-panties.html

a sample:

“Granny panties don’t have to be unsexy. Choose silk or satin fabrics rather than cotton to feel sexy in this lingerie.”

magic titty January 29, 2010 at 5:27 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: Oh as if she wears panties.

Cheney Guevara January 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm

[re=504580]magic titty[/re]: wow. ew.

glamourdammerung January 29, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Maybe if you would act like adults, there might be no need to “lecture” you clowns?

Smoke Filled Roommate January 29, 2010 at 5:37 pm

[re=504578]Cheney Guevara[/re]: Choose pairs of granny panties with good leg holes.
Are panties with “bad leg holes” completely sewn shut?

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 29, 2010 at 5:39 pm

[re=504580]magic titty[/re]: [re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: [re=504503]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Damn, y’all. Congratulations, you’ve just invented the Virginia Foxx diet, ‘cuz I’m never eating again.

dijetlo January 29, 2010 at 5:40 pm

[re=504582]glamourdammerung[/re]: In what way would that be amusing?

Perhaps it’s because I shot my television several years ago (self defense) but it seems to me that our political culture closely resembles the plot lines of the old “WWF”, without the aluminum chairs and sexy costumes.
Of course, this being a free market Democracy, I also assume that’s the product people are most interested in consuming.
In that light, I think the appropriate way to resolve this dispute is to put Nancy Pelosi and Virginia Foxx in a steel cage and let them work out their issues. Put that on pay per view and put and end to those skyrocketing deficits.

Lawndarts January 29, 2010 at 5:49 pm

Foxx is a special kind of crazy.

Oldskool January 29, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Ignorant backwoods school-marm types like her are a dime-a-dozen here. And that’s adjusted for inflation.

glamourdammerung January 29, 2010 at 6:09 pm

[re=504589]dijetlo[/re]: I have enough “faith” in humanity to know that there would be plenty of lulz even if our government were run by sane, normal, boring people.

southern mark smith January 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm

[re=504589]dijetlo[/re]: Just wait until Linda McMahon is elected and it will be on CSPAN.

problemwithcaring January 29, 2010 at 7:22 pm

[re=504495]progressiveinga[/re]: win

DirtyHarriett January 29, 2010 at 7:57 pm

[re=504524]Mustang[/re]: WIN!!

coolcatdaddy January 29, 2010 at 8:41 pm

Virginia Foxx used to be a college professor, so I’m sure she’s familiar with lecturing to someone.

I’d like to know what kind of BS she was dishing out when she was teaching.

DickTaterPeeNoShay January 29, 2010 at 9:21 pm

[re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: I bet Lindsey Graham threw his panties too.

El Pinche January 29, 2010 at 9:29 pm

“And Barry, tell em Large Marge sent ya.”

Tra January 29, 2010 at 10:05 pm

“President Jerkface being boring again. My team kicked some Kenyan ass. He is a lying liar who tells lying lies. Swiped his drinking glass to lick his lip moisture.”

artpepper January 29, 2010 at 10:15 pm

GOP: “STOP LECTURING ME! I hate you! I wish I was never born! Can I borrow the car, pleeeeeease??”

Mr Blifil January 29, 2010 at 11:19 pm

Why do I have a picture of her independent fact checker being the banjo player from Deliverance?

NotthatLC January 29, 2010 at 11:35 pm

Those sumbitches got SCHOOLED. On live Teevee. After taking a whupping like that, the least he could do is give her is autograph. She’s lucky it wasn’t on her forehead.

wildturtlelove January 30, 2010 at 12:47 am

Well, now she can embroider over his autograph on her granny panties and save it through innumerable washings. That takes care of Friday. Now, who else for the other days of the week?

Smoke Filled Roommate January 30, 2010 at 3:31 am

[re=504760]wildturtlelove[/re]: Actually, I believe the autograph is right on the tip of her penis.

Oh hell to the no January 30, 2010 at 10:46 am

I like when you called her a Swamp Angel. That was my favorite part of the story.

EdFlinstone January 30, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Are Cokie Roberts and Virginia Foxx the same person?

Oldskool January 30, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Today he’s at the Duke game cracking jokes but I bet she doesn’t watch basketball. Too many Kenyans.

finallyhappy January 30, 2010 at 2:43 pm

I only remember the Foxx- fox? who was at the Tidal Basin with Wilbur Mills

thesheriffisnear January 30, 2010 at 3:03 pm

I thought little old white ladies were sweet, chirpie busybodys who left freshly baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. I stand corrected.

thesheriffisnear January 30, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=504722]artpepper[/re]: You forgot: ” You’re not the boss of me…”

thesheriffisnear January 30, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Actually she looks alot like the “up your’s Nigger…” lady. And I oughtta know.

Poochie January 30, 2010 at 3:44 pm

She and her congressional buds didn’t get lectured, they got schooled. And owned. Take that, old white woman.

EasternElitist January 30, 2010 at 3:45 pm

[re=504524]Mustang[/re]: Such an excellent reference!

EasternElitist January 30, 2010 at 3:48 pm

Warmed my heart to watch him work without a net.

eekahil January 30, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Foxxy Sexxytime !

Eclectablog January 31, 2010 at 8:04 am

Actual Virginia Foxx quote: “Democrat leaders are not only out of the American mainstream, but are also out of the Democratic mainstream. And I want their autograph.”

Okay, I added that last part.

Here’s another one:
“The American people must not buy into the Democrat rhetoric. But they should get their autograph.”

Okay, I added that last part again.

Last one: “This is my first term. I was told it was going to be an exciting term, and a lot of things would be done, and I cannot think about something more exciting than save Social Security. Except getting that Kenyan liar’s autograph.”

KayInMaine January 31, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Did anyone make sure she didn’t have small pox laced in her coat when the Foxx approached our wonderful President?

Stalkin' January 31, 2010 at 6:11 pm

[re=504505]Extemporanus[/re]: Now that I think about it, I can’t say that I’ve ever seen Virginia Foxx and Chuck Schumer at the same time….

Terr February 1, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Ok who let this woman have a twitter account?

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