About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. Work in Progress

    How can people live with themselves while they’re spewing this kind of demonstrably untrue vile all day, every day? I just don’t get it.

  2. Ducksworthy

    Hmmmm you may be on to something. Is it possible that “long form birf certficate” is teabagger slang for “penis”?

  3. Red Zeppelin

    How is it that these southern lady politicians get to use their porn star names? Are you sure it’s “Virginia”?

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Ginnie’s idea of a “lecture” is someone using fancy schmancy words like “budget”, “respect”, “intelligence” and “was.”

  5. Doglessliberal

    [re=504493]Work in Progress[/re]: The current upswell of morons, liars, and generally evil people in this country is making it very difficult for me to maintain a Zen-like calm, live in the moment, and be thankful for every day and all that I have. Not that I ever get there, but it is nice to try. With the current state of affairs, I either have to stop reading/hearing/abosorbing in any way news of any kind or run 20 miles a day to drown in endorphins and exhaustion.

  6. Extemporanus

    If Virginia’s twitvatar looked any more manly, she’d have to change her last name to “FoXY”.

  7. Monsieur Grumpe

    She needs an independent fact checker? Is she so far removed from reality that she needs someone to tell what is true or not?

  8. SayItWithWookies

    She just wanted it in case he makes something of himself someday. With those kids and their natural rhythm, you never know.

  9. J

    Let’s put her and the always hilarious Michelle Bachmann in a steel cage and let them battle for Craziest Bitch in Congress honors.

  10. McDuff

    BTW, in Republican “independent fact checker” means (1) Glenn Beck, (2) Sean Hannity, (3) Rush Limbaugh, or (4) any combination of 1, 2, or 3.

  11. Mustang

    Watch out if she tells you she’s been savin’ up nickels to hire you to bust up a old chiffarobe, Barry.

  12. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Can you blame Rep. Foxx? Back when she was young, you didn’t have to put up with an uppity black man lecturing you with facts and figures. You just used them in your fantasy to give some excitement to your life when your fat white husband was laying on top of you.

  13. Extemporanus

    [re=504522]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: No.

    It’s her last remaining marble, trying like hell to escape.

  14. BlueStateLibtard

    Translation: “I can’t stand him, I can’t stand him…but oh, he’s so dreamy.” Swoon.

  15. assistant/atlas

    Where all the white women at who don’t look like mannish pale raisins?

    [re=504524]Mustang[/re]: I got the reference!

  16. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=504522]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:
    A lovely lady. She must’ve been something before electricity.

  17. Ducksworthy

    [re=504494]Ducksworthy[/re]: And so “Show us your long form birf certificate” really means “Show us your schlong”

  18. Ducksworthy

    [re=504556]Katydid[/re]: OMG that’s the very maggot gnawing away at the heart of western culture

  19. Hooray For Anything

    So the Republicans are running around TV and saying the whole thing was a win for them because Obama acknowledged the fact they have proposals. They should get a gold star! Even if Obama basically told them whatever plans they have sucked and aren’t serious about introducing them. Or that Pence couldn’t answer the question about what the Republican plan for health care is. But still, gold star!

  20. El Pinche

    Barry signed Virginia’s utters. You laugh, but she’s the hottest thang at Butch Bitch Titty-Off at Sturgis.

  21. Sussemilch

    ‘Our guys asked great questions, our girls got his autograph.’ See how it is, Republicans? Give us what we want or Obama the Piper is going to lure away the chicks with his “magic flute.”

  22. donner_froh

    “Need independent fact checkers for his comments”

    It would be nice if such an organization existes that could provide Congress with the vital, analytical support it needs to address the most complex public policy issues facing the nation. Its work incorporates program and legislative expertise, quantitative methodologies, and legal and economic analysis.

    Like the Congression fucking Research Service. The above is from their website.

    What a moran.

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=504514]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Actually, she doesn’t care if it is true or not. She is a Republican after all.

  24. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=504578]Cheney Guevara[/re]: Choose pairs of granny panties with good leg holes.
    Are panties with “bad leg holes” completely sewn shut?

  25. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=504580]magic titty[/re]: [re=504492]Tommmcatt[/re]: [re=504503]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Damn, y’all. Congratulations, you’ve just invented the Virginia Foxx diet, ‘cuz I’m never eating again.

  26. dijetlo

    [re=504582]glamourdammerung[/re]: In what way would that be amusing?

    Perhaps it’s because I shot my television several years ago (self defense) but it seems to me that our political culture closely resembles the plot lines of the old “WWF”, without the aluminum chairs and sexy costumes.
    Of course, this being a free market Democracy, I also assume that’s the product people are most interested in consuming.
    In that light, I think the appropriate way to resolve this dispute is to put Nancy Pelosi and Virginia Foxx in a steel cage and let them work out their issues. Put that on pay per view and put and end to those skyrocketing deficits.

  27. Oldskool

    Ignorant backwoods school-marm types like her are a dime-a-dozen here. And that’s adjusted for inflation.

  28. glamourdammerung

    [re=504589]dijetlo[/re]: I have enough “faith” in humanity to know that there would be plenty of lulz even if our government were run by sane, normal, boring people.

  29. southern mark smith

    [re=504589]dijetlo[/re]: Just wait until Linda McMahon is elected and it will be on CSPAN.

  30. coolcatdaddy

    Virginia Foxx used to be a college professor, so I’m sure she’s familiar with lecturing to someone.

    I’d like to know what kind of BS she was dishing out when she was teaching.

  31. Tra

    “President Jerkface being boring again. My team kicked some Kenyan ass. He is a lying liar who tells lying lies. Swiped his drinking glass to lick his lip moisture.”

  32. artpepper

    GOP: “STOP LECTURING ME! I hate you! I wish I was never born! Can I borrow the car, pleeeeeease??”

  33. NotthatLC

    Those sumbitches got SCHOOLED. On live Teevee. After taking a whupping like that, the least he could do is give her is autograph. She’s lucky it wasn’t on her forehead.

  34. wildturtlelove

    Well, now she can embroider over his autograph on her granny panties and save it through innumerable washings. That takes care of Friday. Now, who else for the other days of the week?

  35. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=504760]wildturtlelove[/re]: Actually, I believe the autograph is right on the tip of her penis.

  36. Oldskool

    Today he’s at the Duke game cracking jokes but I bet she doesn’t watch basketball. Too many Kenyans.

  37. thesheriffisnear

    I thought little old white ladies were sweet, chirpie busybodys who left freshly baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. I stand corrected.

  38. Poochie

    She and her congressional buds didn’t get lectured, they got schooled. And owned. Take that, old white woman.

  39. Eclectablog

    Actual Virginia Foxx quote: “Democrat leaders are not only out of the American mainstream, but are also out of the Democratic mainstream. And I want their autograph.”

    Okay, I added that last part.

    Here’s another one:
    “The American people must not buy into the Democrat rhetoric. But they should get their autograph.”

    Okay, I added that last part again.

    Last one: “This is my first term. I was told it was going to be an exciting term, and a lot of things would be done, and I cannot think about something more exciting than save Social Security. Except getting that Kenyan liar’s autograph.”

  40. KayInMaine

    Did anyone make sure she didn’t have small pox laced in her coat when the Foxx approached our wonderful President?

  41. Stalkin'

    [re=504505]Extemporanus[/re]: Now that I think about it, I can’t say that I’ve ever seen Virginia Foxx and Chuck Schumer at the same time….

Comments are closed.