WHAT DID WE LEARN TODAY?  3:46 pm January 29, 2010

Top Pundit Declares Obama Therapy Session A Victory, For America

by Jim Newell

While you people were quick to declare today’s Baltimore Blabfest (our alliterative powers suck right now, please help?) to be the greatest moment in Obama history and a righteous victory for truth and Hope etc., we refused to make any verdicts before reading what flush-faced Buffalo dauphin Luke Russert had to say, on Twitter.

Today’s events gave him a massive America Boner, hooray! Sigh of relief, people.

But what about those of us who despise American democracy? Who cares! It was just an elite bunch of powerful people debating; had nothing to do with democracy. Everyone and everything wins! The unemployed win. The deficits win. Targeted tax cuts win. (That’s everyone and everything, right?)

Today we are all Luke Russert’s Boner.


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Crank Tango January 29, 2010 at 3:53 pm

How so? Really, what makes you say that?

Also, Luke, maybe you should try my recipe from an earlier thread. You’re not a real journalist until you dress like a pimp and get arrested posing as a telephone repair man. Also you’ve never really been a porn star unless you’ve done the same.

Holy Cow!! January 29, 2010 at 3:54 pm

We are in power now and no longer need to pretend. We are all communists who hate freedom, America, capitalism, babies, want to put everyone in FEMA camps and gay marrying the world.

I’m so glad we’re not hiding that anymore.

charlesdegoal January 29, 2010 at 3:56 pm

They say love – Love is blind
And true love is hard to find
It makes you wonder now you’re yesterdays news

An Outhouse January 29, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Without the elitist legacy’s opinions, I would not know how to interpret the news of the day. Has Paris Hilton weighed in yet? How ’bout Megs? bet Megs wasn’t so impressed.

Come here a minute January 29, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Charm City Chatfest?

V572625694 January 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm

And Little Luke has observed democracy in action for all of 19 years now, so has a good knowledge basis from which to make this twat.

Sussemilch January 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm

I think if you’re a fan of Democracy it was a great moment – where people try to talk as if they were behind the curtain a little bit and discuss the rules and methods of their craft – but knowing that the Republicans were completely ignoring his appeal made it an ordinary shitty day for a lover of Democracy.

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 4:01 pm

“Luke, I am your boner.”

Red Zeppelin January 29, 2010 at 4:02 pm

This is why they should not allow children of famous people to rise to prominence in their parents’ field. Joey Meyer, Pat Knight, and now Luke Russert. Oh, and W.

Hooray For Anything January 29, 2010 at 4:02 pm

But what did Big Russ think about it?

Monsieur Grumpe January 29, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Some people should not drink and write.

SmutBoffin January 29, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Congratulations on having a famous dad, Big Nut. We look forward to getting our conventional wisdom from you in the future.

SayItWithWookies January 29, 2010 at 4:04 pm

Oh, the GOP was there too? I thought that whole retreat was arranged and paid for by lobbyists and populated by their sock puppets.

Cheney Guevara January 29, 2010 at 4:05 pm

[re=504460]Holy Cow!![/re]:

I can’t wait to turn everyone gay.

Monsieur Grumpe January 29, 2010 at 4:07 pm

I was wondering why I was feeling a little stiff today.

snideinplainsight January 29, 2010 at 4:07 pm

I like the way they cropped the top of his head off in his Twitter ‘twitcon’ – it’s like he has so many brains they wouldn’t all fit in the picture.

Buzz Feedback January 29, 2010 at 4:07 pm

I love America by hating Luke Russert and other legacies.

Not_So_Much January 29, 2010 at 4:08 pm

I feel more like Luke’s taint right now…

Smoke Filled Roommate January 29, 2010 at 4:08 pm

B-More Bitchfest?

chaste everywhere January 29, 2010 at 4:09 pm

[re=504472]Red Zeppelin[/re]: OTOH, how about Debby Boone?

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm

[re=504475]Hooray For Anything[/re]: What did Big Russ think about Luke’s boner?

Very little.

Smoke Filled Roommate January 29, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Hey there! RussertXM_NBC has a boner!

Prommie January 29, 2010 at 4:19 pm

[re=504486]chaste everywhere[/re]: Ohh, she lit up my life, thats fer sure, back in the day. Did I ever tell you about the time we were all popping qualuudes like they were jellybeans, and we got so wasted, we put on this Debby Boone album and turned it up so loud, the RA came and wrote us up?

Capitol Hillbilly January 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Hey Luke, try the hairon, it’s a local delicacy.

Hooray For Anything January 29, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=504489]Extemporanus[/re]: We should give Luke a break as he’s being schooled by his better, more serious, award winning comrades in that both Halperin and Chuck Todd thought the whole thing was dumb and a waste of time. Of course, in a sane world, both Halperin and Todd would be doomed to doing the weather report at a small-town news station as it better fits their talent level but we don’t live in that sane world.

SayItWithWookies January 29, 2010 at 4:23 pm

The Mobtown Beatdown?
The Pummeling on the Patapsco?
The Chesapeake Chastisement?

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 29, 2010 at 4:36 pm

I, for one, cannot wait until they publish the collected twats of Luke Russert.

ManchuCandidate January 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Proof that the Pumpkin don’t roll far from the Pumpkin Patch.

slappypaddy January 29, 2010 at 4:44 pm

a victory for america? good, it’s about time america won one, it’s been a while.

Autoo January 29, 2010 at 4:46 pm

[re=504471]Extemporanus[/re]: “Luke, I am your boner.”

I wish my boner would talk to me. I’d never be lonely again.

Tlmsd January 29, 2010 at 4:47 pm

[re=504506]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]:Don’t talk about that. Unless you have some.

Jukesgrrl January 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm

What does the XM stand for, Extra Mental? But I would agree that today’s “display (?)” is “one of the best examples of our system,” since it accomplished nothing except Virginia Foxx getting a new autograph to put next to Redd Foxx’s autograph in her memory scrap yard, I mean book.

Snarkalicious January 29, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Jim, I object to the implication that Wonketeers are poxy and neglected.

ohiolobbyist January 29, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Since this is Wonkette, I’m going to go with Baltimore Buttfuck. amirite?

donner_froh January 29, 2010 at 5:02 pm

[re=504472]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Joey Meyer the worst of the lot by far–except for W.

Red Zeppelin January 29, 2010 at 5:18 pm

And what about those of us who love Russian Bolshevism?

Escape Goat Nation January 29, 2010 at 5:33 pm

You can not put a price tag on the wisdom of our youthful future leaders.

Maus January 29, 2010 at 5:48 pm

Perhaps Luke will one day be a grown man, but this is how adults are supposed to behave. That the pundits occasionally recognize this reflects worse on them, seeing as they use all of their powers to destroy this sort of dialogue.

mirrorball January 29, 2010 at 5:49 pm

I used to be a fan, but Democracy hasn’t released a good album since the ’80s.

Sen. Schlong January 29, 2010 at 6:01 pm

I’m just glad somebody in this country is starting the weekend with a massive American boner. USA! USA! USA!

Aurelio January 29, 2010 at 6:45 pm

Is Luke Russert Tim Russert’s kid? Didn’t we secede from Britain to get rid of this hereditary aristocracy shit? That goes for Bill Kristol and his daddy Irv, too.

Maus January 29, 2010 at 7:06 pm

[re=504646]Aurelio[/re]: Conservatives aren’t against the patriarchy and kingly lineage, they’re against the BRITISH patriarchy. Why else would they vote for pappa and baby Bush?

Aurelio January 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Touché. Or “Douché,” as they say in France.

rocktonsammy January 29, 2010 at 8:54 pm

This kid needs a girlfriend.

Mr Blifil January 29, 2010 at 11:34 pm

If you hate American democracy you were probably too busy snorting meth and fucking roadkill raccoons to pay much attention, although it would be interesting to read live tweets from a person in the act of fucking a raccoon.

Oh hell to the no January 30, 2010 at 10:36 am

I became a “fan” of Democracy on facebook, so I know that shit is legit. Also, are there any Free James O’Keefe groups I can visit so that I can see if I need to defriend any of the members ASAP?

SmallPotatoes January 30, 2010 at 11:20 am

I believe Young Russ loves him some donuts. Ummmmm…..donuts

thesheriffisnear January 30, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Ahhhh, the Dale Earnhardt Jr. of media.

getoffmylawn January 30, 2010 at 5:29 pm

RussertXM? He can’t be sirius.

iburl February 2, 2010 at 12:24 am

Questions to the president at the House of Turds.

Seems more like British Democracy.

This Cat February 2, 2010 at 11:05 am

Baltimoron moron…balting…I’m working on it.

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