Obama Therapy Session With House Republicans Goes… Well? No One Knows

  why can't they all be gay for each other?

Okay okay okay let’s try to get this all organized… nope, not gonna happen, so here’s the deal: We have no idea where to begin with this Obama/House Republicans group sex therapy rehab session that just took place, on teevee. It was very very strange. So here’s… something? It’s one of the parts where Obama tells Republicans to cut the shit, please. It’s nice that he tries. Maybe. This is some wacky wacky politics, and everyone will be confused about the “winner.” Let’s just declare Ron Paul the winner again and go eat some nachos. [YouTube]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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107 comments

  1. Jim Demintia

    Naughty, naughty, Republicans. Don’t you see that successfully demonizing my healthcare reform bill makes bipartisanship impossible? Why can’t you be good, like your brother, Lieberman?

  2. Snarkalicious

    Parents do not win arguments with their 12 year olds until said children mature, realize that they were being self-centered cock-stains, and apologize at a distant future date. Ergo, victory for Barry in this sitch = impossible.

  3. Smoke Filled Roommate

    My favorite part was when Barry told Mike Pence “to take your across the board tax cuts and shove them up your ass”.

  4. hockeymom

    No snark here.
    Watched almost all of this and it was amazing on so many levels.
    Obama (sans teleprompter!) just pwned the house GOP. He did it politely, firmly and decisively.
    Watching this made me wish THIS guy had shown up more at the beginning of the health care debate. Obama also called out the GOP for lying…as well as the media.

    CSPAN is rebroadcasting at 8pm.
    Really worth seeing.

  5. Dr_Feelquestionable

    Wow, it’s so funny you guys should mention that, because I was -literally eating nachos- while I saw this unfolding, on the CNN, with the volume on “mute”. Needless to say I had 3 rum & cokes and the whole thing made a tremendous amount of sense.

  6. SayItWithWookies

    [re=504364]Snarkalicious[/re]: The thing is that President Obama’s intent is not only to chastise and cajole the Republicans — it’s to show the electorate that he’s the one trying to be reasonable here, and the GOP are the party that is being intransigent. Standing in front of them and eroding their base at the same time is pretty good — if it ends up paying off.

  7. JMP

    This just makes me wish Bush had been willing to take questions from Dem Congressmen like that; he would’ve been eaten alive. It’s nice to have a President who can answer a question.

    Why do the wignuts keep making teleprompter jokes about Obama when their Dear Leader completely relied on them, anyway?

  8. Hooray For Anything

    I like this new “I’m going to call you out right in front of your faces and if you don’t like it, suck on it” Obama. Now if he could only do the same to whomever the hell is holding up HRC

  9. blader

    I think what he is saying, simply put, is if they don’t eat their peas, they can’t have any jello and they certainly won’t be taken out of the high chair.

    I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

  10. Godless Liberal

    That Q&A session was an object lesson in drinking many people’s milkshakes, like goddamn.

  11. spanielmander

    This is going to show up in some 2012 GOP negative ads… Obama: “This is some wild-eyed plot to impose huge government in every aspect of our lives.” Not exactly Favreauesque.

  12. Gregoire

    And so, the man I voted for over 14 months ago makes his first appearance on the public stage.

    This was brilliant and I don’t understand the hesitation in the headline.

  13. FMA

    [re=504374]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Intransigent? I think you meant “retarded.” Or maybe “full of more shit than Rush Limbaugh after hitting the Taco Benn drive-through.” Something like that.

  14. qwerty42

    [re=504370]hockeymom[/re]: Sullivan said the same, and referred to Ambinder who wrote:

    Accepting the invitation to speak at the House GOP retreat may turn out to be the smartest decision the White House has made in months. Debating a law professor is kind of foolish — the Republican House Caucus has managed to turn Obama’s weakness — his penchant for nuance — into a strength. Plenty of Republicans asked good and probing questions, but Mike Pence, among others, found their arguments simply demolished by the president. (By the way: can we stop with the Obama needs a teleprompter jokes?)

    Republicans may have wished they had spoken to John McCain about what happened to him in the presidential debates before they decided to broadcast this session. The president looked genuinely engaged, willing to discuss things. Democrats believe that he tossed away the GOP talking points and lack of real plans into a bludgeon against them. “The whole question was structured by a talking point,” he told Jeb Hensarling. Obama took the blame for not living up to some of his promises on transparency in health care negotiations. He displayed a familiarity with Republican proposals that seemed to astonish those who asked questions of him. And at the end, Republicans rushed up to him, pens and photo cameras in hands, wanting autographs and pictures.

  15. Neilist

    GODDAMNIT, Jim! Why are you WASTING our time with this trivial DRIVEL when there is a REAL story breaking.

    Rielle “Batshit Crazy Blond Who Fucks Like A Rabid Dingo” Hunter wants her VIDEOTAPE back!!!!!

    Her “VERY PRIVATE AND PERSONAL” videotape of her encounter with John “The Hairdo” Edwards!!!!!

    Get the Hillsborough, N.C. Wonkette Bureau Chief on this . . . STAT!

  16. Hooray For Anything

    [re=504384]blader[/re]: “If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?!”

  17. shellyboo98

    Every now and then I start to question my decision-making skills during say…oh…November 2009…and then he does something to remind me why I voted for this guy. Unfortunately, there’s probably some douche with a teabag stappled to his head screaming outside who has bigger pull with many in this crowd, Sir. I appreciate the effort though.


  18. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=504388]Gregoire[/re]: Yeah I was initially worrying that the only outcome of this would be that Republicans wouldn’t change at all, and he would come across as whiny and ineffectual… but whatever, he called them douchebags and it was fun so hooray.

  19. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504370]hockeymom[/re]: CSPAN is rebroadcasting at 8pm.

    ET or CT? Tonight is my wonk night–Wa. Week, NOW, Moyers, and Maher when he’s on. I hope it’s 7:00 CT because Trumka is on Moyers.

    Shit. That wasn’t snarky, rude or funny at all. Where the fuck do I think I am? Facebook?

    Hopey did a fabulous job.

  20. give us a bob

    [re=504364]Snarkalicious[/re]: Often you can win such arguments by pulling the card: “Well, I do provide you food & shelter, so consider your choices carefully if you want both of those to continue.” It’s hard to continue sulking where you’re sleeping in the garage, eating cold Chef Boyardee.

    Obama’s chastising House Repubs for leaving themselves no room to negotiate kinda rings similar to that, but I believe they could use a couple more weeks of eating unheated noodles straight out of the can.

  21. Ducksworthy

    Oh and by the way we’re starting war crimes trials next week just to illuminate for the American people what your party does when the voters give it power.

  22. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504379]JMP[/re]: “Why do the wignuts keep making teleprompter jokes about Obama when their Dear Leader completely relied on them, anyway?”

    Because they decided that, since Bush is such a loser in the eyes of the electorate, that they never actually supported him and he has nothing to do with the Republican party. This sounds moronic, but with a 24 hour infomercial network continually pumping out this shit, it takes more believable form in the minds of the idiotic “Independents” who are mostly people who don’t pay any attention, anyway.

  23. Snarkalicious

    [re=504374]SayItWithWookies[/re]: If, indeed. Making that point stick with the electorate would require him to sideline almost everything else he wants to accomplish to concentrate on message delivery. Unless I missed the part where the better part of the electorate suddenly developed an attention span and memory capacity for political reality.

    Jebus H Monkeyfuckers. Am I a Negative Nancy or what?

  24. S.Luggo

    I was waiting for Utah Rep. Jason Chaffetz to ask Obama why he didn’t adopt a rescue dog as promised.

    Jason, you didn’t throw the high, hard one. Very disappointed.

  25. JMP

    [re=504413]DustBowlBlues[/re]: That, or they try to pretend the Bush years never happened. Like how Obama apparently caused the deficit that the Republicans have always been oh so concerned about. Of course, while their man was in office he could do no wrong, and even wearing a wire to a debate to pull a Cyrano de Bergerac was fine.

  26. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504408]qwerty42[/re]: Thanks for the link, but I’m snowed in with the old man and by the time I get around to watching it, he should be pretty busy on the computer, surfing porn. That means I have the teevee to myself.

    BTW–To all of you comparing this to dealing with your kids (from someone who’s gone through four sets of adolescence, not counting my own): Keep an affidavit and notary handy, so when they storm out and say, “I’m never coming back,” you can get it in a legally binding contract.

  27. Sussemilch

    I’m at a loss for snark. That was a very intelligent thing he said, and is true for a number of situations, not just this one. If you make your enemy the source of all evil, then you sacrifice your own popularity if you compromise with him. Very wise, very transcendent… I almost forgot he was black there for a second.

  28. Snarkalicious

    [re=504407]give us a bob[/re]: Sry. Forgot to mention the twelve yr olds in my analogy have corporate sponsorship. Which, granted, means my analogy kinda sucked at the time, but I still stand by it.

  29. Prommie

    The pigfuckers in the red states will not care; they consider intelligence and eloquence to be forms of cheating, and evidence of homo commie fascism, as well, and information, well, beyond that information to be gleaned from the Good Book, King James Version, well, information is dangerous and to be avoided. In their eyes, a mob of vicious GOP dunderheads, even if half of them are boy-lovers, should have been able to kick one guy’s ass, even if he is black, and that they didn’t means Obama cheated by resorting to trickery with his fancy logic and fancy talk. These things they regard as forms of sorcery. So, hear this well, you will actually hear criticisms of Obama from the pigfuckers shitstirring leaders, Beck and Limbaugh, about how Obama cheated by bringing intelligence and debate to a cross-burning, and that he “ambushed” the poor GOP tards and like the teabaggers say, you know, stupid people deserve a voice too, and he’s just one of those out of touch ivory tower intellectuals who doesn’t even know how to castrate a goat with his teeth, thats the kind of thing real men know.

  30. give us a bob

    [re=504410]Ducksworthy[/re]: Ha ha, you so had me fooled.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/8487601.stm

    By “We” I first thought you meant the US and by “your party” I thought you meant, well, whatever party it is these days that is not the Republicans. Then I realized: “the British” and “the Labour Party.”

    It sure would be nice to have something similar over on this side of the pond because … oh, hey! What’s that shiny, silvery thing over there? Neat!

    What was I talking about?

  31. Tommmcatt

    [re=504400]Jim Newell[/re]:

    I am 42 years old, and in the 25 odd years I’ve been politically aware I’ve never seen a mainstream Republican- not one- move from a party-line position on anything. It’s like they were freeze-dried under Regan. These people don’t change. They simply don’t have the capacity. Their positions aren’t policy, they’re set dressing for some crypto-fascist Jimmy Stewart movie that plays on an endless loop in their minds.

  32. NopantsMcGee

    I think all this does is make Obama look pretty good to all the 7 people that actually watch C-span.

    Otherwise most of the Idiocracy are at work and think this C-Span thing is something your pregnant wife gets in the delivery room.

    But, A+ for trying and an A for knowing your material, Mr President. And I also push out a steaming pile of credit for Republicans in televising this, too.

  33. Hooray For Anything

    [re=504417]JMP[/re]: Don’t forget about how Bush wasn’t President during 9/11. Or that other than the shoe bomber dude and the anthrax attacks, there was no domestic terrorist attack on the country after 9/11 (when Clinton was President).

  34. Tommmcatt

    [re=504434]give us a bob[/re]:

    That commission across the pond? It has no subpoena power and can’t call witnesses. So what it is supposed to do other than soothe an aggravated public is beyond me.

    Still better than nothing, though, you’re right.

  35. TGY

    He should’ve had Joe Lieberman and a stick so he could hit him for emphasis every time he makes a point.

  36. TGY

    [re=504445]Tommmcatt[/re]: But perhaps they have some hoops,flaming or otherwise, for Blair-the-Poodle to jump through.

  37. Prommie

    Wait till Limbaugh isolates a snippet where Obama was a little smart-alecky, and says he was “disrespectful” and took away from the dignity of the office. Noone likes an uppity negro.

  38. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Obama should cut a deal and release James O’ Keefe in exchange for health care refrom.

  39. Ducksworthy

    [re=504444]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I think by now FUX can run a D behind Bush’s name and no one in their audience will notice.

  40. Prommie

    Ya know, I am starting to see a pattern here, ladies and gentlemen, and its more than a little disturbing. First we have this vicious attack on the Supreme Court, a most outrageous breach of decorum, showing his contempt for the rule of law, and now we see this sneering, hostile, disrespectful lecture he gives to the Republicans in Congress, Ladies and gentleman, this is showing a level of arrogance, a level overconfidence, that starts to look pathological. I think this President might be delusional, ladies and gentlemen, it would explain his high-handed attitude, his arrogant assumption that he is always right and anyone who disagrees is an idiot, the good people of this country who want nothing to do with his policies are not idiots, you don’t need a piece of paper from some eastern liberal college to have intelligence, and the way this man again and again just tries to shove his socialist agenda right down the throat of the American people when they want nothing to do with it, you have to start wondering.

    Is this guy right in the head, or is he suffering from delusions of grandeur?

  41. FMA

    Now all Obama has to do is visit the Senate Democrats and tell them that he’s going to send Rahm over with some rusty pliers and blowtorch to go midieval on their asses if they don’t get their shit straight.

  42. Prommie

    [re=504462]Jim Newell[/re]: I am older than Tommmcat. I knew Jesus, nice kid, used to hang around the Temple. Shame what happened to him.

  43. Prommie

    [re=504458]Tommmcatt[/re]: Why am I seeing that scene in Mississippi Burning, where Hackman brings in that mean-looking black man with the razor blade to question pigfucking racist sherrif’s deputy? Thats the Obama I want to see.

  44. bitchincamaro

    [re=504450]TGY[/re]: Greasy turd-burgler even snuck into the hearing room good and early this morning so as to avoid the seething unwashed horde prepared to cut him from his gizzard to his zatch. No justice, no pizza.

  45. Prommie

    [re=504462]Jim Newell[/re]: Ya know, back in the day, we used to smoke these things called “joints,” we would roll up this stuff called “mexican,” which you could get in Shelbyville for $25 an ounce, and then we’d go out to Porkies and tie chains to the pilings and we pulled the whole place down. Of course, back then, mortgage interest was 18% and the president kept getting attacked by aquatic rabbits.

  46. Tlmsd

    [re=504469]Prommie[/re]: the big black man is your default protector. That explains a lot. I think many of the bleeding heart, guilt ridden liberals wish the big black guy they envisioned would get all big black guyish on our legislative body. Not all black men are scary.

    I believed the other stereotype about my lover. That god in his case it was twroo. It’s twoo!

  47. mcc

    “Why do the wignuts keep making teleprompter jokes about Obama when their Dear Leader completely relied on them, anyway?”

    It’s all about attacking your opponents’ strengths. Bush has no underlying principles or thoughts and sways like a piece of grass in the wind, so attack John Kerry for “flip flopping”. Obama is a professional writer and one of the few politicians out there who can write his own speeches, so attack him for using teleprompters too much. The Democrats are bending over backward until their spines break to try to reach out to Republicans, so attack them for being Machiavellian, win-at-all-costs dictators bulldozing the opposition.

    It makes a sort of sense, if you think about it. After all, if your argument is *true*, then there is no need to repeat it over and over.

  48. BarackMyWorld

    How can Americans respect a president that would talk to the Supreme Court and Congress like this? This totally goes against the rules of discourse the conservative pundits just made up five minutes ago!

  49. I-man

    And thus “the one” went into the lair of “the beasts” and verily shatted mightily upon them. My god, I loved that. Obama just called all these assholes out in their own turf.

  50. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Strangely enough, years of answering Sean Hannity’s “Do you prefer that I cup your balls when I blow you, or not?” questions have not made the GOP all that sharp.

    The fact that talk radio is totally avoiding this shows how weak the GOP is when it actually has to put a position other than “No, we won’t do it because he is a black, muslin, Kenyan terrorist!” into words. I will bet that the GOP will refuse to ever be put in a position where they actually have to answer questions not asked by Steve Doocey again.

  51. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=504430]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You can be my FB friend anytime. But I think we’re all too embarrassed to give our real names here….

    OT but hope you survive the great ice storm of ’10. I have a lot of relatives/friends in Rush Springs (Watermelon Capital of the World) who are hating life right now! (the lack of electricity in the cold is not to their liking)

  52. Cicada

    [re=504443]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Clips from this will be played all over the place, though. Oh, and it looks like CNN, MSNBC, and Fox were simulcasting. And you know that this is going to be number one with a bullet on all of the Sunday political talk shows.

    I just got to a computer where I can stream this and I am tingling with excitement. For some women it’s diamonds, for me it’s political theater.

  53. imissopus

    [re=504443]NopantsMcGee[/re]: Ah, no one watches C-Span but the video goes viral on the intertubes, the pundits all give their take, and so on. I don’t own a TV but at some point I’m sure I’ll sit down and watch this whole thing just for the joy of seeing Barry show a little spine.

    Of course I don’t need to be convinced, it’s the wimpy Dems in the House and Senate that need the convincing.

  54. Oldskool

    Barry has no equal in this kind of thing but whenever he opens up someone’s chest and is staring at the dark mass they call a heart, he reasons with it instead of yanking it out and tossing it across the room. Barry, just once, let your temper go and rip the fucking thing out.

  55. AxmxZ

    [re=504456]Prommie[/re]: You don’t need a piece of paper from college to say you’re smart. Don’t need no paper from no high school either. There’s nothing chicken-fucking can’t teach a man ’bout life!

  56. engulfedinflames

    [re=504571]Oldskool[/re]: What would it take to really piss him off? People as reasonable as he seems to be really piss me off.

  57. Hooray For Anything

    [re=504571]Oldskool[/re]: He can’t because as we all know, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

  58. Oldskool

    [re=504586]engulfedinflames[/re]: [re=504587]Hooray For Anything[/re]: You can tell he does get pissed off, he just doesn’t allow himself to unload on anyone. If it WAS in him to do it, he’d score big points and there’d be long line of Congresspeople wanting to give him blow jobs. Moslty Republicans of course, but the point is, he could pick and choose.

  59. Citizen Kitteh

    I’m going to keep a good functioning link to this handy. If I’m at a forum where someone plays the “Obama Needs Teleprompters” card, I’m going to reply with the link and say “He didn’t need teleprompters this time.”

  60. Hooray For Anything

    [re=504625]Oldskool[/re]: As always, it comes down to the fact that nothing scares whitey more than an angry black man. Except for an angry black man with their white daughter.

  61. Red Zeppelin

    [re=504544]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I’m perfectly happy to let people know that my name is Rusty Shackleford.

  62. President Beeblebrox

    Welcome back, Plouffie!

    Would have been nice if Barry had done this shit when the teabaggers and birfers were at the height of their stupidity in the long, hot summer of ’09. Barry should have stone cold fuckin’ walked into one of those town hall meetings – maybe the one in Delaware where Mike Castle got confronted with the woman waving aroung the plastic-sealed “U.S. Birth Certificate” and fuckin’ just called them out on their shit, in that trademarked Barry way.

    Too bad it took three special elections lost to a human slug, a Sharia law/Jeebus freak, and a naked daughter-pimping triathlete for Barry to get back to “everyone chill the fuck out, I got this” mode.

  63. malo-ji

    Knight 1: We are the Knights who say… “NI”.
    King Arthur: Cut down a tree with a herring? It can’t be done.
    [the Knights of Ni scream and cover their ears]
    Knight 1: Don’t say that word!
    King Arthur: What word?
    Knight 1: I cannot tell! Suffice to say, is one of the words the Knights of Ni cannot hear!
    King Arthur: How can we not say the word if you don’t tell us what it is?
    [the Knights of Ni scream again]
    Knight 1: He said it again!
    King Arthur: What,”is”?
    Knight 1: No, no, not “is”. Wouldn’t get very far in life not saying “is”.
    Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say “Ni”.
    Knight 2: NI.
    Other Knights: Shh…
    Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say… “Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z’nourrwringmm”.

  64. Flanders

    [re=504491]Prommie[/re]: Jesus and I used to spend Friday nights sorting seeds on Guess Who albums.

  65. Flanders

    [re=504636]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Where is AngryBlakGuy, anyway? I keep picturing him with Bristol Palin.

  66. Sparky McGruff

    [re=504394]Neilist[/re]: I’d normally be eager and willing to take the job of Hillsborough, NC bureau chief, as I live in the nearby People’s Republic of Carrboro, but there’s a few inches of snow on the ground. According to the Southern Code of Conduct, I’m obligated to stay in my house, cowering in fear. Alternatively, I could hop into the car and drive straight into a ditch, or abandon it in the middle of an intersection. Either way, I’m not going to make it up to Hillsboro this weekend.

  67. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504456]Prommie[/re]: This could be a campaign speech in Oklahoma. Mary Fallin is probably plagiarizing it right now, to take people’s attention away from the fact she lurves the NOLA4. Or did.

  68. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504491]Prommie[/re]: “Of course, back then, mortgage interest was 18% and the president kept getting attacked by aquatic rabbits.”

    And the president put money into solar and wind power companies, had solar panels installed on the WH and encouraged us to wear sweaters.

    Then Saint Reagan was elected, and all that shit had to go.

  69. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504491]Prommie[/re]: Okay, the hell with Jesus, I’m older than god so I’m going to tell my favorite story from “back in the day.”

    I was sitting at a nice bar with a fellow Democratic woman who was working on the Democratic Mayor’s campaign with me (Royer Mayor–Yay). We were looking over what we used to call in those days an “endorsement list”. This time, prominent or known Democrats because, I guess, it was a supposedly non-partisan race. There were about 20 names on it. The woman I was with picked it up, read it, then said, “Shit. I’ve slept with most of the men on this list.”

    Man, you guys missed a helluva party.

  70. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504693]Flanders[/re]: “Where is AngryBlakGuy, anyway?”

    How do things always cycle back to AngryBakGuy? We’ve had this conversation before. If I die, will ask “hey, wonder what Happened to DBB?”

  71. DustBowlBlues

    [re=504544]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Someday we’ll do a FB hookup and surprise our families.

    I refuse to use the p-word because, knock on wood, (knock, knock, knock) we’re in the country and still have electricity.

    Oops, I’m all alone here. At any rate, good night.

  72. Mr Blifil

    Did he ask for a show of hands to see how many of these doughy-faced lard-asses own a copy of Bob Marley’s greatest hits on CD? Because that would have been awesome.

  73. Mr Blifil

    Oh and I just watched the clip and it sounds like he’s threatening to take the reconciliation route. So there’s that.

  74. NotthatLC

    What I loved is that the GOP just kept asking him these questions and making these statements that had no basis in reality, despite the fact that he’d already shot down the last ten questions and statements that their colleagues had made beforehand, which, also, had no basis in reality. Has a politician ever been this underestimated? Y’all should have brought your A game, because Barry came to play. Someone’s ass is SO getting fired for letting this air on television. I may NEVER stop laughing.

  75. Flanders

    [re=504720]DustBowlBlues[/re]: ok, I came up with Royer as mayor. I’m dying to know whst bar you were in. And yes, when I don’t hear from you for a few days, I start to wonder where you are, why you don’t call…

  76. Up To Here Again

    Barack Obama did his level best to teach the republicans
    how their own words are destroying them.

    I guess all that fell on daft ears.

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