stupid democracy

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  • OH JESUS CHRIST: Here’s a problem with the latest, well-meaning Democratic push to try and pin Republicans (correctly) as pure power-hungry obstructionists who care about nothing and ruin everything: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS PROCEDURE. “Asked how many GOP senators voted for the chamber’s health care bill on Dec. 24, only 32% know that the measure received no support from Republican members… A smaller percentage (26%) knows that 60 votes are needed to break a filibuster in the Senate. About as many (25%) mistakenly say that a simple majority of 51 votes can break a filibuster.” So the next Serious Centrist Democratic senator who whines about how scary it would be to use reconciliation for a handful of fixes to the health care bill should do one thing or another with a bag of dicks. [Pew via Jon Chait]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • Crank Tango

    well CNN said that the naked senator tipped the balance of power in favor of the GOP. funny thing about that is, it was a true statement. Apparently parliamentary power is measured by the size of your balls.

  • Tommmcatt

    We should write a bag-of-dicks cookbook.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You college boys can throw up all the numbers you want, but until the Democrats promise to keep the government out of Medicare, they don’t stand a chance.

  • JMP

    If there’s one thing that the Republicans understand, and pander to, that Democrats don’t, it’s that Americans are, by and large, stupid morons.

    But hey, why not make those 25% of folks who think 51% of Senators can break a filibuster right?

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    Yes, but do they happen to know who Stephen Colbert is? That’s the important question.

  • proudgrampa

    Jesus. How did it come to this?

    We ARE freakin’ doomed.

  • Extemporanus

    Real Americans don’t wanna know how their bag of poison rat dicks is made, they just wanna lightly salt and eat it.

  • progressiveinga

    And according to Fox News, 137% think skoalrebel should be the US Ambassador to Mississippi. Or is that the Mississippi Ambassador to the US?…..whatever.

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=504312]Crank Tango[/re]: This is true. According to Robert’s Rules, Republicans are allowed to inspect yr. junk as a “point of privilege”.

    At least that’s what the gentleman in the restroom told me.

  • FMA

    [re=504329]JMP[/re]: And therein lies the problem. Democrats believe you should educate stupid morons so they become just-plain morons. Republicans believe you should keep them stupid and exploit them. Since staying stupid takes much less effort, it’s easy to see which strategy works best.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Genius idea!
    Maybe we could Larry (Super Tuber) Craig to write the introduction.

  • 4tehlulz

    That poll is bullshit. Twenty-six percent of Americans knowing about filibuster procedure? That number’s way too high to be true.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=504322]Tommmcatt[/re]: With some minor editing, this classic might fit the bill.

    For example, doesn’t this dish look absolutely dicklicious? Just the sight of it is making me drool like a poison victim!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=504322]Tommmcatt[/re]: Also, I believe you meant “cockbook”, not “cookbook”, right?

  • JMP

    [re=504340]FMA[/re]: Yep; it’s why most of the teabaggers are idiots who believe the shit they’re saying, but the leaders all know that they’re full of shit but don’t care. I like this recently-unearthed quote from Irving Kristol basically admitting this, while justifying support for teaching fucking Creationism:
    “There are different kinds of truths for different kinds of people,” he says in an interview. “There are truths appropriate for children; truths that are appropriate for students; truths that are appropriate for educated adults; and truths that are appropriate for highly educated adults, and the notion that there should be one set of truths available to everyone is a modern democratic fallacy. It doesn’t work.”

  • Crank Tango

    Crank Tango’s Buffalo Style Poison Rat Dicks:

    Marinade a dozen norwegian rat dicks in ddt for about a week.

    Dredge dicks in cat litter, then dip in rotten bull semen.

    Deep fry until burnt. Salt liberally. Shake in a mixture of battery acid and rancid margarine. Serve hot, with a side of more rotten bull semen and carrots and celery. Shove the carrots and celery up your ass, drink the bull semen first, and then see how many of them dicks you can chug, asshole.

  • engulfedinflames

    “No has ever lost a penny underestimating the intelligence of the American public” who said that? I’m too indifferent to google.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=504327]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
    Have you considered running for King of the Teabag Nation?

  • Snarko Marx

    I’m starting to think that some Americans might be a little on the stupid side.

  • Hooray For Anything

    It’s a shame Hopey cut out the bit in his SOTU where after dissing the Supreme Court, he was supposed to have turned to the camera, look directly at his viewing audience, and tell us that we’re all a bunch of stupid fucking idiots and we need to put down the buffalo wings, stop watching ‘Jersey Shore’ and read a newspaper because ultimately we’re the one’s responsible for the State of the Union.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Even more distressing, only 8% of the public can tell the difference between a bunch of entitled frat boys breaking into an office in an attempt to commit a felony and investigative journalism.

  • Sussemilch

    Nothing makes me laugh like a 80-year old Senator threatening to filibuster. You don’t even have the strength to chew bubble gum but you’re going to lecture us all day? You can’t even climb the capitol steps without oxygen. Shut up and vote yea/nay, or we’re cutting Biden’s leash.

  • Mustang

    I got a perfect score! Now, Wonkette, aren’t you proud? All those late nights drilling important facts into our heads like HARRY REID and MICHAAEL STEELE? It’s all paid off! My self esteem is soaring.

  • Mustang

    [re=504353]Crank Tango[/re]: Jesus Christ, Sir.

  • Come here a minute

    Eat them.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=504403]Mustang[/re]: oops I thought we were posting our recipe submissions for the cock book?

  • Come here a minute

    The poll results show that women are 11.7 percent dumber than men. Not a high bar, ladies!

  • pampl

    So 50% of the US thinks the Senate needs 67 or 70 votes to break a filibuster, but also thinks 5-10 republicans are on board. They still know the health care bill needs all 60 ~dems to pass, they’re just giving it/the GOP more credit for bipartisanship than they deserve… not sure why that matters. Voters will still be repeatedly told if their own senator voted against it, and the GOP’s brand is already as soiled as the cockbomber’s undies, so…

  • McDuff

    [re=504351]JMP[/re]: So, everything is relative — just like the liberals have been saying for years.

  • McDuff

    The survey results show why Fox and its talking head liars have succeded behind all expections — most viewers don’t know bullshit even when they’re neck deep in it. This is why the Founding Fathers actually feared the uneducated masses. Maybe they knew something we don’t.

  • TGY

    Poll says Dems know less than Republicans, even factoring in age and education.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=504355]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: But how do I get Todd to divorce Sarah Palin?

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=504354]engulfedinflames[/re]: It’s a paraphrase of H.L. Mencken’s observation that nobody has gone broke lowballing the US public’s taste. Henry had his moments as a young man but sank into some low places as he aged.

  • the problem child

    [re=504351]JMP[/re]: There are moments when I really want to kill Allan Bloom, but he’s already dead. So I’ll settle for killing any/all of the neocons. For a man who could translate Plato with such a deft touch, and was beloved by Saul Bellow, he did a lot of damage.

  • Zadig

    [re=504453]TGY[/re]: That’s even possible?