crimes against humanity

James O’Keefe Releases Important Statement

America's JournalistRemember that letter Martin Luther King Jr. wrote from a Birmingham jail? What about Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf. Each one a stirring moral treatise on society’s injustices, a refusal to Stand Down. Well guess what: starting today they both suck, because ACORN douche-pimp James O’Keefe, ringleading bitch of the Watergate Jr. Four, has one-upped most letters about injustice with his own. Let us Read.

The government has now confirmed what has always been clear: No one tried to wiretap or bug Senator Landrieu’s office. Nor did we try to cut or shut down her phone lines. Reports to this effect over the past 48 hours are inaccurate and false.

As an investigative journalist, my goal is to expose corruption and lack of concern for citizens by government and other institutions, as I did last year when our investigations revealed the massive corruption and fraud perpetrated by ACORN. For decades, investigative journalists have used a variety of tactics to try to dig out and reveal the truth.

I learned from a number of sources that many of Senator Landrieu’s constituents were having trouble getting through to her office to tell her that they didn’t want her taking millions of federal dollars in exchange for her vote on the healthcare bill. When asked about this, Senator Landrieu’s explanation was that, “Our lines have been jammed for weeks.” I decided to investigate why a representative of the people would be out of touch with her constituents for “weeks” because her phones were broken. In investigating this matter, we decided to visit Senator Landrieu’s district office – the people’s office – to ask the staff if their phones were working.

On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building. The sole intent of our investigation was to determine whether or not Senator Landrieu was purposely trying to avoid constituents who were calling to register their views to her as their Senator. We video taped the entire visit, the government has those tapes, and I’m eager for them to be released because they refute the false claims being repeated by much of the mainstream media.

It has been amazing to witness the journalistic malpractice committed by many of the organizations covering this story. MSNBC falsely claimed that I violated a non-existent “gag order.” The Associated Press incorrectly reported that I “broke in” to an office which is open to the public. The Washington Post has now had to print corrections in two stories on me. And these are just a few examples of inaccurate and false reporting. The public will judge whether reporters who can’t get their facts straight have the credibility to question my integrity as a journalist.

Shut up.

We’re linking to the Corner’s posting of this Statement, because if somebody’s going to get page views, better the #1 Internet blog get them than Andrew Breitbart’s “Big Government.” Or was it Big Journalism. Big Hollywood? Well, whatever Big pile of shit Breitbart dumped this one on.

Speaking of the Corner, a strange thing happened the other day over yonder: a suspiciously “rational”-sounding person, perhaps even an adult, posted about O’Keefe and provided a nice argument we’ll now use to retroactively counter this Statement of Injustices:

In fact, let me go further. Whatever you think of these kinds of publicity stunts, they do not constitute investigative journalism. The earlier ACORN videos weren’t pieces of investigative journalism, either. It does the growing ranks of investigative journalists at conservative organizations a great disservice to invite a comparison of such publicity stunts with the hard, meticulous, and often boring work of exposing government waste and corruption.

There’s a place for creating video parodies and the like. Good for a laugh, make a point, okay. But let’s make the right distinctions — and call out foolish behavior regardless of the intent.

In sum:

James O’Keefe = permanent College Republican goofball criminal prankster douche.
Kathryn Jean Lopez = Investigative Journalist.

That should clear things up.

Statement from James O’Keefe [The Corner]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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149 comments

  1. Judas Peckerwood

    As my late, sainted gramma used to say, “Take that dick out of your mouth so I can at least understand the lies you’re telling.”

  2. skoal rebel

    thats bullshit when i got thrown in jail last week nobody came to my rescue fukin ACORN is ruining this country give crack babies money for makin more babies when the government has to control everything this fuckin bullshit

  3. ManchuCandidate

    K-Overfed = broken clock (correct twice a day)

    James O’Keefe = Borat but way less funny but with more silicone fists.

  4. slappypaddy

    the poor dear. full to the brim with integrity and bubbling over with investigative goodwill, and he finds himself nothing if not maligned. will the injustice never end? all he wanted was to make a phone call.

  5. Dashboard_Buddha

    Jammed does not equal broken you dumbass. Jammed means the phone lines are overloaded with bloated Wendy’s eating No Pubic Option shriekers incessantly calling. For Christ sakes…I’m in sales and I always hear “the mailbox is full and unable to take messages at this time. Goodbye”.

  6. Snarkalicious

    Jammed, broken…what’s the differnce? None so far as your crusty brown donut will be concerned, Jimbo.

  7. Redhead

    O’Queef deserves to be locked up for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS ALLAN! for calling himself a journalist.

  8. petehammer

    “The Associated Press incorrectly reported that I “broke in” to an office which is open to the public…”

    Really?

    Because case law tells us that a person having permission to enter property for one purpose who in fact enters for another purpose may become a trespasser, and therefore is “breaking and entering.” I.e., you are welcome to go to your parents house for Thanksgiving, but if you entered their house to steal their bluray player, you have broken and entered. A place need not be locked or “closed to the public” for it to be breaking and entering.

    Considering these guys were using fake names/costumes/pretenses and were messing/tapping phone lines, that is BREAKING AND ENTERING YOU IDIOTIC DOUCHE.

    Your lawyer must be thrilled you sent this.

  9. SmutBoffin

    Nice letter (I guess), but IT STILL DOESN’T EXPLAIN WTF YOU WERE DOING TO THE PHONE LINES OR WHY THE SUBTERFUGE WAS NECESSARY.

    Also, no more whining. People will actually respect you if you do your jail time like a serious person.

  10. Terry

    James, James, James. Spin all you want, but it’s going to take ALL your Daddy’s money and contacts get out of this one.

    How about growing up finally and getting a job?

  11. Extemporanus

    [re=504239]slappypaddy[/re]: FREE NERD! FREE NERD! FREE NER…OWWW!!

    GODDAMNIT! I just burned my fuckin’ thumb!

  12. Anonymous Office Zombie

    Gah. This guy couldn’t be a more insufferable, self-righteous prick.

    On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building.

    No. On reflection, the security guards should have done us all a favor and tased you until you were nothing but a crispy pile of ash.

  13. Franklin Pierce & Pierce

    That’s funny, because I would think that a better example of “journalistic malpractice” would be a fake reporter breaking into a U.S. Senator’s office in order to manufacture a political-motivated non-story scandal.

  14. jetjaguar

    also, I think we should have a blingee contest to cheer him up… it’s probably cold in that basement

  15. slappypaddy

    [re=504249]Terry[/re]:

    “i’se reportin’ in the dee-see,
    i took a little risk.
    send lawyers, guns and money,
    dad, get me out of this!”

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Sounds credible to me. I know if I get a busy signal when trying to call someone, my first reaction is to rustle up a posse disguised as phone repairmen and infiltrate the office in question to see if I can videotape their junction box. It’s a lot more sensible than, say, calling their number again.

  17. Sorry Conan

    I hate to be cynical, but despite his practical admission to the crime, I just do not think he will face any significant punishment — and he knows it.

  18. Ruhe

    There was “massive fraud” at ACORN. Two semi-employed dimwits foolishly play along with a guy who shows up wearing a “HuggyBear” halloween costume and that equals “massive fraud”. Has this genius heard of Haliburton? And note the pointed reference to the Senator’s office as “the people’s office”. So if you’re one of the people its you place and you can’t actually be breaking in. Obviously that won’t work at trial but it will work with this idiot’s fan base. Christ!

  19. JMP

    “when our investigations revealed the massive corruption and fraud perpetrated by ACORN”

    James, try learning the English language; “revealed” does not mean “made up”, nor does “playing along with your pitiful little gag” mean “massive corruption and fraud.”

    You seem to have some problems from growing up in your little College Republican bubble, instead of reality; this may surprise you, but most people saw Woodward, Bernstein and Deep Throat as the heroes of Watergate, not Libby and the other Plumbers.

  20. Tommmcatt

    K-Lo’s meds must have suddenly and momentarily reached a perfect balance and granted her a brief moment of sweet, sweet sanity.

  21. Franklin Pierce & Pierce

    The thing I find the most absurd about this is that the “kid” is being treated/given punishments like he is some 17-year-old prankster. Regardless of his mental or emotional age, he is TWENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD. A fucking legal grown-up. If anyone on this board committed a felony at the age of twenty-five, they would not be ordered to “stay with their parents”. They would more likely be in jail (if black, or if white but without family money) or at Gitmo (if Middle Eastern).

  22. Tommmcatt

    Oh, and James O’Keefe is to investigative journalism what Tila Tequila is to the gay rights movement.

  23. Ruhe

    [re=504262]Ruhe[/re]: Punctuation Fail! Will someone familiar with English grammar please pimp my comments?

  24. Crank Tango

    [re=504248]SmutBoffin[/re]: no shit. martha stewart had bigger balls than this douchebag.

    One question tho: by what measure is he an “investigative journalist”? did he go to J school? I’ll take my answer off the air, thanks.

  25. Gopherit

    When the fuck is the judge going to enforce the gag order? I want to see this little whiny bastard back in the slam,

  26. M Lite

    “Our lines have been jammed for weeks.”-Sen. Landreu

    Maybe Mr. O’Keefe could have saved himself the trouble with a basic grasp of English. Obviously, what Sen Landreu was saying was that, contrary to Tea Bagger claims, her office HAS been receiving lots of phone calls. It’s just that, not everyone can always get through immediately. When these people organize mass calling campaigns to protest Federal money going to their state (WTF, right?), sometimes the lines get busy. Sort of like when they complained that DC didn’t accommodate their Metro riding needs when they tea bagged Congress. Basically, these people are whiney bitches, and O’Keefe just wants to be their pimp. And for a hefty speaking fee, Sarah Palin will lead them.

  27. Hopey dont play that game

    “We video taped the entire visit, the government has those tapes, and I’m eager for them to be released because they refute the false claims being repeated by much of the mainstream media.” I find this quite interesting because he will not release the original, unedited versions of the ACORN tapes.

  28. pearl clutcher

    [re=504275]M Lite[/re]: I was going to say that exact same thing. When someone says the lines are jammed, doesn’t that mean that there have been tons of calls?

  29. Autoo

    [re=504249]Terry[/re]: Seriously, when this goes to trial, I hope this fucking mealy mouth privileged shit-cock white boy gets a trial by a jury of poors who have relatives in the can for minor drug offenses and shoplifting charges. Show this little cockbite what they think of federal offenders getting off easy. Fucking shit cock weasel and his fucking ferret lawyers.

  30. FMA

    This assclown is a self-important fucktard, it almost goes without saying. But what bugs me most, what sets me off in a Tourette-like rant, what fucking irritates me the most, is that self-important fucktarded assclowns like this can make a good living by being self-important fucktarded assclowns and taking money from other self-important fucktarded assclowns.
    There. I feel better…

  31. NoWireHangers

    Dontcha love it when rich people go to jail? Cry, baby, CRY. Daddy will have you out on bail soon enough you douche.

  32. JMP

    [re=504275]M Lite[/re]: And even if they weren’t answering all the calls, could you blame them? The teabaggers would all be reading off the same script, screaming the same tired nonsense about death panels and keeping the government out of medicare; I’d be tempted to stop answering the phones after too much of that shit.

    [re=504278]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Yes, but you don’t understand that different rules apply to Republicans and Democrats.

  33. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    All I can say is I’m looking forward to his in deep expose of what it is like to be raped in prision by a big black guy who didn’t like watching an old black woman be made fun of by a upper class white twit in a pimp suit and who had 1/100th of the money for his defense.

    Also, I plan to use his excuse when I go and visit Fort Knox and the gold depository, The People’s Gold! tomorrow. I haven’t been able to get a phone call through to it for years!

  34. dijetlo

    we decided to visit Senator Landrieu’s district office – the people’s office – to ask the staff if their phones were working.

    And you took two guys who know nothing about telecom equipment but were dressed as telephone repair technicians with you because… and they asked for access to the telephone closets because….

    This will exonerate him in the conservative media, but I think he’s still got some ‘splainin’ to do…

  35. Prommie

    Pulling these little stunts is fun and all, I suppose, until someone fucking takes offense and beats the living shit out of you. Its surprising it hasn’t happened yet.

  36. Joanie

    What I don’t get is how this O’Keefe guy keeps getting called a “kid.” His lawyer called him a kid. The guy from the Corner called him a kid. If he were a kid, maybe this behavior would be a little more understandable. But he’s 24 YEARS OLD!

    There are all sorts of people under the age of 24 doing actual patriotic things that this “kid” thing is starting to offend, or at least annoy, me. Ugh, if O’Keefe really cared about this country, or even his beloved conservatives’ ostensibly noble policies, he would join the military and save some 19-year-old “kid” from his fourth tour of duty.

    Okay, rant finished. I’ll stop thinking about this idiot ADULT now.

  37. Capitol Hillbilly

    [re=504261]Sorry Conan[/re]: I’m afraid you are right. And it’s too bad because they could use some good investigative journalists down there in Angola.

  38. V572625694

    Landrieu’s payback deal for supporting the health insurance bill is being called “The Louisiana Purchase,” which is kinda humorous.

  39. Mr Blifil

    I look forward to the release of the tapes too, but for different reasons, like reasons of pointing and laughing.

  40. Ducksworthy

    [re=504285]FMA[/re]: What offends me the most about this and other fucktard assclowns is their ability to believe their own lies. Now that this piece of feces has made up a story that story is , in his mind, reality. What the rest of us call reality is a mirage, a liberal delusion. (see also On Bullshit by Harry Frankfurt for an explanation of the psychological mechanism at work here) Fucktards.

  41. Joanie

    [re=504269]Franklin Pierce & Pierce[/re]: Hmmm. I appear to have posted a comment similar to yours. But you were right; the “kid” is 25 years old. Even worse!

  42. JMP

    [re=504300]Joanie[/re]: Mostly to go along with how they’re trying to brush this off as just another childish prank. Besides, anyone under 50 is extremely young for the Republican party; remember that Henry Hyde’s called his affair in his early 40s a “youthful indiscretion”.

  43. engulfedinflames

    Fox news alert!!!111!!!! according to Karl (oh my god i’m still not in jail) Rove prez Obama is “just playing politics” in asking for bipartisanship w/ republics in Baltimore.

    Boehner “I’m not going to exasperate the problem….we’re honest, but we’ve been ignored”

  44. Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=504282]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He totally deconstructed Mike Pence’s bs rant–great to watch.

  45. Work in Progress

    It’s good to know that he’s not exercising his right to remain silent. Nothing I’d rather see than him spouting off publicly about his roll in an on-going criminal investigation.

  46. Mrs Bitch

    Why the hell didn’t he just claim it was an early Halloween prank? All dressed up as phone repairboys with no where to go? What a buncha self-important, stupid, geeky goomers.

  47. lawrenceofthedesert

    It’s not historically accurate to compare these scatterbrained YouTube wannabe’s with the professional crooks Nixon used to break into the Watergate. That was a standing President committing felonies; O’Toole’s escapade was the chuckleheaded manuever of a spoiled specimen of arrested development. The judge’s order was a recognition of his immaturity, and the legal system is likely to go lightly on him. The cruelest possible punishment for him would be for everyone to pay him no attention.

  48. Terry

    [re=504279]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]:

    O’Keefe’s fellow “investigative journalist” Flanagan has a father who is acting US Attorney for western Louisiana. Landrieu just appointed a full time person for that position who is not Flanagan the father. Oh, and O’Keefe just happened to be in town to give a speech about his illustrious career in investigative journalism.

  49. jetjaguar

    I predict that within a year of getting out this little pickle, he’ll become a contributer to faux news. bank on it

  50. Rajul

    Look, I know Jimmy wants to think of himself as an intrepid reporter, but from my extensive experience watching all 5 Superman movies as well as Smallville and Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, I know for a FACT that people who are actual journalists (1) check facts and (2) report on the whole story. Let me illustrate with an example. Let’s say you have, oh, I dunno, a half dozen or so tapes you surreptitiously made of community organization employees around the country. Then let’s say one of the first tapes you release (for $$$) is a tape of one of those employees claiming to be a killer for hire who has already murdered her husband. THEN let’s say the same day you release said tape, the police, at taxpayer expense, determine that the entire story is false, made up by someone who knew they were being pranked. Something like this:

    http://www.politicsdaily.com/2009/09/16/police-acorn-employees-murder-confession-not-factual

    And then let’s say you just go on like nothing happened, insisting you’re an “investigative journalist” beyond reproach. It’s kind of like that time you were in the car on that blind date and had the runs and let a little go in your underwear and stank up the whole vehicle, and then pretended nothing happened and tried to score at the end of the night. In other words, you’re not a playa, you’re just a fucking loser with poor hygiene.

  51. wilbro

    Yeah, the best thing about being a real journalist, besides not being able to pay off student loans for even a BA, is getting the little orange “Get Out of Jail Free” Monopoly card with Uncle Pennybags on it that you can just wave in front of cops or feds whenever you deem your story worthy of breaking laws or screwing with a Senator’s office.

    One thing every journalist knows is that as soon as you call an elected official, you get patched through immediately, no matter whether there is an important vote or a lobbyist getting fluffed at the time. Also.

  52. SmutBoffin

    [re=504305]imissopus[/re]: “During a short stint at UCLA Law School…”

    HaHa. This is part of a typical conservative CV. Do some fluffy undergrad program. Graduate, realizing full well you have no marketable talents other than being annoying. Go to law school for a few years. Drop out. Become professional snide syrup sucker. The end.

  53. McDuff

    [re=504284]Autoo[/re]: If it ever goes to trail, my guess is they’ll ask for a bench trail (no jury) in front of the more-than-likely appointed by Bush district judge.

    “Wink-wink, nod-nod, we all went to expensive boarding schools, played a few pranks, and have “important” futures, so a quick guilty plea to a minor tresspassing charge and its all expunged after 1 year good behavior. Fox News here I come!”

  54. Monsieur Grumpe

    Too bad the security guards weren’t of the shoot first ask questions later ilk.
    When the judge hears about this little public rant from O’Keefe he is going to be spanked.

  55. Cape Clod

    I can just imagine the feverish fantasies this bonehead is dreaming up about having his day in court, delivering an impassioned statement about truth and justice to a hushed courtroom, whereupon the deeply moved jury immediately finds him innocent without deliberating and he walks out of the courthouse a free man to the applause of the entire courtroom including the judge and the prosecution.

    Seriously, this deluded, immature sack of shit is imagining this right now.

  56. qwerty42

    [re=504239]slappypaddy[/re]: the poor dear. full to the brim with integrity and bubbling over with investigative goodwill, and he finds himself…
    being laughed at. O, the injustice!

  57. FMA

    [re=504308]Ducksworthy[/re]: “On Bullshit” should be mandatory reading in schools. It really explains, and defines, these times.

  58. Maus

    To conservatives, a wacky fratty borat-lite series of heavily edited sketches is all the “investigative journalism” they need or want. There’s a reason why Glenn and Rush are the conservative movement’s highest respected truth-tellers.

  59. Maus

    [re=504323]Rajul[/re]: “I know for a FACT that people who are actual journalists (1) check facts and (2) report on the whole story”

    Yeah, but j-school grads don’t get paid to do that anymore, do they?

  60. dijetlo

    [re=504314]Work in Progress[/re]: This is the mark of a true douche nozzle.

    Douche nozzle, if you’re reading this:
    When they tell you ” You have the right to remain silent..
    That’s pretty good fucking advice, take it.

    For the love of God, Tard, you’ve already been booked, it’s too late to talk your way out of this.

  61. finallyhappy

    [re=504328]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: We had a former employee who was arrested for stealing Federal funds. He got pretty much a slap on the wrist- I thought- house arrest- wearing one of those ankle bracelets and paying back the money. Then he wrote an article about how he was treated like a common criminal when he was booked at DC jail( they actually fingerprinted him and put him in a cell- nothing bad really -not like rape or being beaten by other prisoners) and how his crime was so different(yeah- he got a lot less for stealing $100,000 or so than guys do who steal from 7-11) that he should ahve been treated with more respect. Anyway, I don’t know who saw it that could make a difference- the judge, the prosecutor? – but he was removed from house arrest and put in jail- however, I think(sadly) it was not Dc jail but one of those cushy places.

  62. engulfedinflames

    About a half hour ago I called Sen. Snowes office to call her out on her misrepresentation of HCR as being “repudiated by the American public” on MSNBC, couldn’t get through. I then read this snotty pencil necks explanation and called Landrieus office to encourage her to pursue prosecution of this delusional adult male, answered on the second ring.

  63. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Mary Landrieu has already called O’Queef on his bullshit early and often this morning. Sez Mary, in sum: “This is Louisiana, boy. We know from crooked behavior here, you douche.”

  64. S.Luggo

    Reminds me of Bartolomeo Vanzetti’s August 21, 1927 letter from prison to Sacco’s 14 year old son:
    “I tell you now that all that I know of your father, he is not a criminal, but one of the bravest men I ever knew. Some day you will understand what I am about to tell you. That your father has sacrificed everything dear and sacred to the human heart and soul for his fate in liberty and justice for all. That day you will be proud of your father, and if you come brave enough, you will take his place in the struggle between tyranny and liberty and you will vindicate his (our) names and our blood.”

  65. Maus

    I also love his “HISTORY WILL ABSOLVE ME”-like statements on the matter. Dude, you sound like Castro or some other communist dictator.

  66. Wonderman

    We birthed these babies and now we always gonna be cleaning up the spitup. Aw look, Danny took a dump on the divan. Devine!

  67. FMA

    [re=504345]finallyhappy[/re]: I have always said, if you’re going to steal, steal big. Knock over a 7-11, you do hard time. Rip off millions in elaborate financial thievery, you get a bonus.

  68. JMP

    [re=504345]finallyhappy[/re]: This is just a guess, but was his crime so different, and he deserving of more respect, because he had lighter skin?

  69. heyaquanaut

    Anyone else getting a serious Lee Harvey Oswald vibe from this ‘kid’? He looks a LOT like him. I could totally see him passing out fliers for the Fair Play for Cuba committee.

  70. Tarangela

    How it would come out if O’Keefe wasn’t shitting on himself . . .
    “Oh shit, they’re gonna through my ass in club fed if I don’t say
    something totally fucking idiotic and puke worthy.”

  71. RoscoePColtraine

    Hey, I just realized that the two most common reasons a conservative gets arrested is either for stealing private information, or trying desperately to suck a cock that really would rather not be subjected to “troll mouth.” They’re about equal, but I’d have to research it if I really wanted to find out which happens more often.

  72. mardam422

    Unlike MLK or even Hitler, this douchebag had to write his from his mother’s basement. Kind of takes the shine off it a bit, doesn’t it.

  73. Dumptruck

    For some reason, this calls to mind a scene in Repo Man

    Duke: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.
    Otto: That’s bullshit. You’re a white suburban punk just like me.
    Duke: Yeah, but it still hurts.

  74. Dean Booth

    [re=504269]Franklin Pierce & Pierce[/re]: [re=504300]Joanie[/re]: Yuppers, it looks like they’re going for the “kid” defense. The 23-year-old underwear bomber, however, needs to be tortured.

  75. Neilist

    [re=504270]Tommmcatt[/re]: “Oh, and James O’Keefe is to investigative journalism what Tila Tequila is to the gay rights movement.”

    Pictures? Ideally, a videotape featuring Rielle “Batshit Coke Whore Crazy” Hunter and John Edwards?

    Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

  76. slappypaddy

    compare and contrast the behaviors of adults and children. for resource materials, use president obama’s 2010 state of the union address for an example of adult behavior, and james o’keefe’s actions and writings regarding senator landrieu as an example of the behavior of children. engage in a full discussion of all points.

  77. Memphis050505

    [re=504262]Ruhe[/re]: He owes pimps everywhere an apology for that get-up. Does he really think anyone was taking him seriously?

  78. Barrelhse

    “The People’s Office!” Did these commies liberate these offices for us? Are they going to liberate Haliburton for the people, soon? Those bitches are more radical than the SDS.

  79. Pithaughn

    [re=504261]Sorry Conan[/re]: You mean from a jurisprudence sort of way. He is still at risk for some sort of “tripping off the roof” of a multistory building sort of punishment. Or the old single fatality, single car wreck.

  80. Darkness

    Okay, so if “out of touch with her constituents for “weeks” because her phones were broken.” was your real reason, why the fuck didn’t you just have 30 volunteers, some inside the district, some outside, call the good senator’s office on a set, but randomized schedule over the course of a week. Record when they go through and when they didn’t. Then you could compute percentages of actual phone downtime at the senator’s office. And then you would have actual FACTS about the situation. But, I forgot, having those would frighten you. Oh, and also would not give you an excuse to dress up like emotionally deficient village person and pimp your girlfriend on tape and say, look at me! look at me! I’m a rich little aristo fuckhead!! Oh, please look at me.

    Don’t worry. We’re going to make sure everyone in your cell block has an 8×10 glossy of you doin’ your pimping. They’ll ALL be lookin’ at you, sweet thing.

    [re=504236]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: At least it wasn’t your grandfather telling you that.

  81. What Fresh Hell is This?

    [re=504419]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: The lights are growing dim, Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.

  82. What Fresh Hell is This?

    [re=504429]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Whoops. Didn’t see the previous quote. Not an original bone in my body.

  83. Manos: Hands of Fate

    First they came for the douchbag self-proclaimed “journalists” and I did not speak up because I was not a douchbag self-proclaimed “journalist.”

  84. wilbro

    He was trying to be the Bernard Goetz of his times.

    But he got jacked by some federal office assistants asking for ID instead of some subway riders.

    And he left his “phone company” issued screwdriver in the van.

  85. Tommmcatt

    [re=504402]Neilist[/re]:

    I’ve always considered you a douchebag’s douchebag, but today I get to add the descriptor “incomprehensible”. What?

  86. BlueStateLibtard

    He should just stick with his lawyer’s defense, “Ha, ha, ha, these are just kids, aren’t they cute” and leave it at that, because this just sucks.

  87. WadISay

    I assume, by O’Keefe being remitted to his parents’ basement, that he is not married, and that he is probably still a virgin, in which status he will remain until he does time. Bring Vasoline.

    [re=504345]finallyhappy[/re]: John Dean had to spend a couple of hours in a DC jail cell after the real Watergate, an event which, in his memoir, he likened to the crucifiction of Christ.

  88. Flanders

    [re=504330]Cape Clod[/re]: Sort of like the hoped-for trial that the fellow who killed the abortion doctor had in mind, huh? A full airing of his grievances against killing widdle biddy feti, a justification of the abortion is murder lobby.

    Sure, look how well that turned out for *him* in federal court.

  89. Lazy Media

    Actually, the notion that this was a retarded, hidden-camera prank makes a lot more sense than the notion that these douchetards were actually trying to tap Landrieu’s phones. I mean, that would require real technical expertise, beyond using iMovie.

  90. Jukesgrrl

    [re=504326]McDuff[/re]: and [re=504284]Autoo[/re]: I agree, this pathetic man-child will never see the inside of a prison. It might actually be justice, however, if the whole bunch of them could be sentenced to full-time employment with an organization that serves the underprivileged, maybe the one called ACORN.

  91. ericblair

    Maybe he can get Dr. Tiller murderer Scott Roeder’s defense lawyer to compare him to Martin Luther King, Jr. He has a dream!

  92. Rotundo

    [re=504259]slappypaddy[/re]:
    Now I’m hiding in Mom’s basement.
    I’m a desperated “man”
    Send Lawyers, Cheetos, and Money,
    The shit has hit the fan.

    I suppose we should offer some sort of apology to Warren for this, but damn it fit the occasion.

  93. lochnessmonster

    This is what happens when mommy and daddy give the spoiled brat everything they want. Kids like this think they really are deserving of people taking them seriously and that they really earned that college degree…I don’t think he really understands that he violated federal law and how serious what he did is in this environment of “Terrified of Terrorists”. He is a total idiot.

  94. L'

    Why do all these clowns who have never faced any real oppression or discrimination spend so much time trying to convince themselves and everyone else that they are victims?

    Since he is back in Jersey, can we just tell JWOWW he called Snooki fat, so she will go over to his parents’ house and kick his ass?

  95. Berkeley Bear

    [re=504428]Darkness[/re]: How about just he and his 3 buddies each call the phone number, then have someone not dressed as a member of the Village People simply ask if they are having phone issues. Seriously, this so-called explanation shows more than ever that he has rejected our reality and substituted his own, to paraphrase Adam Savage from Mythbusters.

  96. Pat Pending

    when I see pictures of Little Douche Man, all I can think is, ‘in 15 years, will he be our new Karl Rove?’

  97. DangerousLiberal

    Wow, my senator doesn’t return my calls either. Time to get out the wire nuts and the multimeter, also.

  98. SarahPalins2HeadedLovechild

    [re=504262]Ruhe[/re]: The thing is, O’Keefe never wore the Huggy Bear costume in any of the ACORN offices he visited. He was dressed in his usual prepster Young Republican douche attire. He filmed the footage of himself dressed up and walking around with Lil’ Eva Braun separately. Just one of the many details that the MSM and even Jon Stewart lazily missed.

  99. SarahPalins2HeadedLovechild

    [re=504621]Berkeley Bear[/re]: He could have walked into the office with his cell phone and called the number right there to see if it rang.

  100. southernfried

    This was intended to be a three-part investigative series to determine (1)if the Senator’s phones were working, (2) if her refrigerator was running, and (3) if she had Prince Albert in a can. Also.

  101. Marlowe

    How about this:
    David Price has a major scoop in our latest subscriber-only newsletter. He describes how, across the past five years, without a word of public debate, let alone concern the CIA, has successfully implanted spy schools on 22 university campuses across the country, many of them labeled “Intelligence Community Centers of Academic Excellence” – ICCAE, pronounced “Icky”.

    It began in 2004,” Price reports, when “a $250,000 grant was awarded to Trinity Washington University by the Intelligence Community for the establishment of a pilot ‘Intelligence Community Center of Academic Excellence’ program. Trinity was in many ways an ideal campus for a pilot program. For a vulnerable, tuition-driven struggling financial institution in the D.C. area the promise of desperately needed funds and a regionally assured potential student base, linked with or seeking connections to the DC intelligence world, made the program financially attractive.”

    Price’s timing is impeccable. Last Monday, the day we were preparing to send his story to press, came news that a group of Fox News’ free-lance buggers – the same who set up ACORN – had been arrested, trying for phone sabotage in Senator Mary Landrieu’s New Orleans office. Three of the team were caught inside Landrieu’s office. A fourth was arrested as he sat in a car a few blocks away with what the police described as “a listening device that could pick up transmissions.” Another anonymous official told MSNBC that the man in the car was Stan Dai.

    Dai is a veteran of Trinity Washington University’s spook school,. funded by the “Intelligence Community”. In 2008, Dai served as associate director of ICCAE at Trinity Washington.

    How many wannabe Howard Hunts and G. Gordon Liddys are being turned out by the spook schools?

    http://www.counterpunch.org/cockburn01292010.html

  102. Sparky McGruff

    [re=504254]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: At the very least, security should have tased him until he was passed out in a pool of his own urine and vomit. Normally, I’d say that would be cruel and unusual punishment, but I’m guessing that’s probably how he ended almost every night back in college. Just a hunch, based on the fact that he’s a douchenozzle that thinks dressing up as a pimp makes him the next Mike Wallace.

  103. comicbookguy

    They’re not even going to waterboard him to find out what, if anything, he knows? I don’t even recognize this country anymore.

  104. Radiotherapy

    Shithead is stuck with this inane defense now. Good. I can’t believe daddy didn’t hire a lawyer to tell him STFU. Still, who knows with our system. If the hardhat does not fit, you must acquit!
    I would think that his little gig as the nazi-Jacob Riis wannabe is up though. Jail or a job, douche-pimple.

  105. Marlowe

    This is from Google.
    James O’Keefe (201) 666-0443 121 Goodwin Ter, Westwood, NJ 07675 Map

    Remember to write
    Attn: Basement

  106. olegonzo

    Nobody is questioning his integrity as a journalist because he’s not a journalist; he’s Breitbart’s little errand boy.

  107. thesheriffisnear

    Does anyone remember Leslie Nielsen’s dream sequence when he first met C. Thomas Howell’s character, his daughter’s boyfriend, in Soul Man? Anyone?

  108. Paul Tardy

    “On reflection, I could have used a different approach to this investigation, particularly given the sensitivities that people understandably have about security in a federal building.”

    Perhaps just calling her office repeatedly would have determined if the phones were working. BTW, why do I have to be analee raped going into an airport, but any clown can walk into a government building. Dey coulda been terrorists.

  109. fitley

    I think that Pimpyboy O’Queef should smuggle a camera-phone in his azz when he goes to prison. Then he can record whoever comes in the backdoor. It will be his new prison expose. After 100 or so “visits” though, he couldn’t be traded for a half smoked lucky strike found in a urinal.

  110. AddHomonym

    Yeah yeah yeah, criminal whatever. But the important thing is, ladies, they’re available! (I presume.)

  111. JooJoo Bee

    “Inaccurate and false,” mind you. Twice. Oh my God, can you just imagine what this wiener in like in bed? I’m thinking The Real Pimps of Cell Block D might just get that chance.

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