- Quelle surprise, Ben Nelson and other senatorial douchebags are holding up the bill that would encourage direct lending to college students instead of shoveling money into private banks. [Washington Post]
- The Haitian situation is no longer in its “urgent” phase, so George Clooney will just have to find some other nation to save. [Bloomberg]
- President Obama is crashing the Republicans’ secksy retreat in Baltimore today, and they are going to give him an EARFUL. [ABC News]
- Amazon is the last company in America to still be earning a profit. [ABC News]
- Tony Blair insisted in front of an Official Panel that he was not George W. Bush’s lapdog or poodle or whatever, despite all evidence to the contrary. [New York Times]
- Bill Gates plans to save the lives of eight million children in the next decade. YOUR MOVE, STEVE JOBS. [New York Times]
The World Won’t End
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{ 38 comments }
Hey, do *not* mess with Antonio ‘The Poodle’ Blair.
“…particularly confidential meetings he had with Mr. Bush in 2002 to discuss the fervor for an enforced change of government in Iraq, even though there was no evidence that Iraq had anything to do with the attacks…”
WTF, the fervor (in this case actually the *fervour*)? Interesting to picture the two of them in a trance-like state, invoking vengeance against the offender of Bush the Elder.
The World Won’t End….TODAY.
/fixed.
“I’m not Gay” Larry Craig
“It’s not a pyramid scheme” Bernie Madoff
“I’m not old” Walnuts Makane
“It’s still good” Homer Simpson
All of the above statements contain more truth than whatever Tony “W’s Bitch” Blair says.
“and they are going to give him an EARFUL.”
Well, that’ll be a nice change for them since that usually isn’t the orifice they fill.
Who needs college loans? Don’t Daddy and Mummy just take care of the bill? Those legacy connections at admissions time didn’t hurt either.
Asked if the GOP was ready to meet Obama halfway on the economy, health care, energy and other issues, Pence said, “Republicans are going to continue to stand on the principles that we were elected to advance. We’re going to articulate this to the president.”
translation: hell no! What part of “we want him to fail” don’t you understand?!?!
Won’t somebody think of the CHILDREN?
I hate Lemur Alexander (Douchebag-TN) so much I wish his eyeballs would bleed and then freeze. Hell, the last non-douchebag this retarded state sent to Washington was Al Gore. Pretty much the ONLY non-douchebag we ever sent to Washington was Al Gore. We SUCK.
Yeah, I quit smoking for New Year’s and now I HATE EVERYBODY, especially Lemur. What a douchebag.
THIS IS THE MOST WARIO-LIKE THING WARIO HAS EVER DONE!
Seems like a good time to remind people of this early example of mutual masturbation.
If we don’t give some of the money for student grants and loans to the banks then the banks won’t be able to hire as many people and that will affect Starbucks sales and then Starbucks jobs will start to dry-up then the liberal arts majors won’t be able to find employment after college. So it all works out.
Nelson knows that if we make student loans easier to get and repay, that will mean more of the lesser folk polluting our nation’s best colleges, and we can’t have that. Plus, it would mean slightly less profits for the megabanks and loan companies. Won’t somebody think of the bankers?
“The Haitian situation is no longer in its “urgent” phase”.
It has now moved to “Permanent FUBAR” status. If you have made your $10 cellphone donation, you are now permanently absolved from any further caring. Thank you and have a pleasant weekend.
“We’re going to hear from the president for a few minutes, but he’s going to hear for quite a while about our proposals,” the Indiana Republican added.”
They will be yap, yap, yap while Obama texts his buddies in Hawaii about how he schooled one of them the last time they played basketball.
[re=504045]hockeymom[/re]: The Earth won’t be going anywhere for awhile; it’s still got another good 5 billion years or so before the sun engulfs it.
How long it’ll remain a good place for us to live, however, remains to be seen.
[re=504062]bureaucrap[/re]: Shit. I gave fifty. Rip-off!
I am OFFENDED. A standard poodle is not a lap dog!
[re=504065]bitchincamaro[/re]: You have a $40 credit* applicable to the next 4 (four) natural/humanitarian/ecological/macroeconomic disasters.
*All absolution credits are subject to adjustment for inflation.
Somewhere is a universe wherein Ben Nelson is a Democrat. Excuse me: Somewhere else there is a universe wherein Ben Nelson is a Democrat.
[re=504071]BeWoot[/re]:
It would be the same universe where Spock Wears a Goatee.
Who determines which republicans go to Hawaii and which ones go to Baltimore?
I want them Dems to make those fuckers stand up and filibuster the student loan bill. Shut down the Senate to protect the freedom of the bankers to get that eighty billion instead of giving it to aid education. Suck on that, populist anger!
“Asked if the GOP was ready to meet Obama halfway on the economy, health care, energy and other issues, Pence said, ‘Only if he brings us a shrubbery. It must be one that looks nice and is not too expensive.’”
Fuck Ben Nelson. Seriously, fuck Ben Nelson. It’s true, there is evil in the world.
No worries. I understand Steve Jobs just invented an easily transportable mattress, the “iPad” so homeless people will have a soft place to sleep.
Did Ben Nelson specifically run a platform of sodomizing his own party? If so, kudos!
A key House Republican leader said the GOP expects President Barack Obama to do more listening than talking
A key House Republic leader said “That boy had best keep his mouth shut ’round here.”
[re=504094]CorkPopper[/re]: I don’t understand why they don’t, seriously. Let them embarrass themselves.
This…also…
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8487244.stm
[re=504056]Ruhe[/re]: [url="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parable_of_the_broken_window"]I find your views interesting and would like to subscribe to your newsletter[/url]
Apparently the Democrats have the guts to use reconciliation to get the student loan bill through the Senate. Gee, it’s too bad they’re sissies about using it for other important things.
Steve Jobs might not have saved 8 million children, but he gave us the iPhone AND the iPod? Hasn’t he done enough for humanity?
[re=504251]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Bill Gates is the ultimate modern-day Robin Hood. His company wrote shitty software for years, engaged in monopolistic policies, only to make money so he could save poor people in his retirement. Hey, Bill, thanks, and MAKE WINDOWS WORK, GODDAMMIT! You cocksucker.
I pictured Blair more like that sickly, hairless Dr. Evil clone cat.
Well if you go back to the olden days of the government doling out their own loans what will the middle men do? Besides, that would be educatin’ the electorate and they can’t have anyone who knows what is going on voting can they??? They might lose their own jobs…
You don’t understand- Steve Jobs NEEDS people to die so he can take their organs and live forever, revolutionizing things.
Dudes, you are so wrong about Steve Jobs. First, he famously takes only $1 a year in salary from Apple. Second, Steve’s wife gives piles and piles of cash to various Democratic causes. Third, those who know the famously private Jobs will tell you he gives plenty to charity – but anonymously. Grand-standing by flashily announcing your giant gifts is just an ego-trip. Bill Gates’ charity work is great and it would be even greater if he didn’t use it as PR stunt for his famously bad public image, which is still recovering from his notorious “infinite greed is infinitely good” statement.
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