While perusing the roster of Tea Party Convention speakers to see whether Michele Bachmann and Marsha Blackburn, who have both dropped out, are still listed there — they are — we notice that this is clearly a trap for rich little boys to unsuspectingly — or knowingly, HEY-O! — get molested billions of times. It’s like everyone’s wacky, unemployed 46-year-old uncle decided to leave mother’s house to have a convention, for sexin’. “Teabagging” is back in play. Watch the fuck out. [Tea Party Convention]
Exactly How Much Molestation Will Go Down At This Tea Party Convention?
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It’s really a NAMBLA convention, right?
Cartman: Those perverts aren’t going to rest until they have made love to one of us right? So somebody’s just gonna have to go out there and take one for the team. And I think in all fairness it should be Butters.
Butters: Huh? Now why me?
Cartman: Are you a team player or not?
Butters: Well sure, I’m a team player I guess.
Cartman: Now Butters, there is no ‘i’ in team.
Butters: You mean to expect me to go out there and let all those horny old men have their way with my fragile person? Well just what team is this anyway?
Cartman: Just go Butters, we’re running out of time.
Butters: Oh, alright then. (Butters leaves the room)
Cartman: (Laughs) He’s such a dumbass. [edit]
They all look scary, but I say watch out for the ginger. He looks like he has boys’ bodies buried under the floorboards.
Those look like AMERICANS to me.
I’m going to go, just to hear Borat speak.
Yeah, this is creeping me the fuck out. The “I like touching boys’ penises” vibe coming off this quartet is stupefying. But I have to second [re=503578]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Bruce Donnelly looks the kind of person I wouldn’t let my worst enemies kids play around.
Even in a well populated and lit area.
Equipped with security cameras.
Even if the kids were wearing special pedophile detection suits.
Ever.
Why do so, so many middle agey wingnuts have those little gay ass moustaches? Oh waddaminute I just answered my own question.
David DeGerolamo: carpeting matches the drapes
Bruce Donnelly: carpeting matches the windows
Joseph Farah: carpeting matches the table runner (Grecian Formula)
Tom Fitton: carpeting matches the astroturf
As an expert (i.e., someone of Irish ancestry), I can say with authority that you don’t get looks like that without inbreeding.
Generation of inbreeding.
Generations.
Ideally, someplace south of the Mason-Dixon Line.
:::Cue banjo music:::
[re=503578]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Agreed, although DeGerolamo has got the Bobby Joe Long vibe down.
Wait a minute. I thought I was at Wonkette, not the sex offenders registry.
[re=503588]Gorillionaire[/re]: Not gay mustaches. 70′s gay mustaches. We moved on to goatees in the 90′s.
Jesus. Are these the best pictures these guys could come up with???
But hey, Lisa Mei is HAWT.
So the teabaggers haven’t learned that lone mustaches haven’t been in style since the 70s; they really are stuck in the past.
Why would a graying man dye his mustache but not his hair? How can he not realize that makes him look even freakier (though not as much as that creepy-ass smile)?
Maybe this convention is one of those sting operations the cops put together — where they mail everybody with an outstanding warrant a notice that they’ve won a boat or something, and they have to come downtown to pick it up. At least the first guy already has his mug shot.
You can’t judge a crook by the cover!
Jeebus f’ing crist, that’s the creepiest pictorial yet. Now I need to go to huffpo and wash my mind out with porn.
Bruce Donnelly– HAWT!!!1!
So that Bruce Donnelly guy…he’s dead right? Please tell me he’s dead in that picture.
Bruce Donnelly designed his own website, damn it.
[re=503590]Extemporanus[/re]: Bravo.
[re=503577]AggieDemocrat[/re]: An interesting retelling of Genesis 19:4-5. Fortunately for the “men” in that instance Lot had a couple of spare daughters that he had already broken in he could give to the Sodomites. Unfortunately, they insisted on having the men.
I am a teabagger. The truth shall set me free.
And those are probably the pix given them by the “speakers” themselves.
Man and boy, this is amateur hour at its best.
Please, please don’t cancel the convention, Tea Bankers.
toxic concentration of EWWWWWWWWWW!
“Hey little Teabagger, do you want some candy?”
[re=503601]El Pinche[/re]: I’ve said it before: I get all my porn from HuffPo. BTW, did you see that girl with her tongue on the cock???
Even if everyone backs out, at least the Teabaggers have an anthem.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc_-L4fyLUo
NSFPWMT
Jesus Fucking Christ.
[re=503620]proudgrampa[/re]: No, but there’s some article about some dude making out with a chicken in a subway. Suck it CNN!!
[re=503601]El Pinche[/re]: OMG, what is #6 doing with that chicken?
Keep fukkin’ that chikkin!
I don’t appreciate that kind of visual assault over lunchtime. Thanks *alot*, wonkett.
/flounces out of room.
[re=503622]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: I thought Ray Stevens was dead, sadly it was just his career…
Bruce Donnelly: Blood sucking vampire without the nice qualities.
Isn’t there some rule on how long your pornstache can be before it’s eligible for a tax cut?
That’s not a stache that’s a caterpillar of Giant Leopard Moth kickin real on that asshole’s face.
[re=503591]Neilist[/re]: so your an expert in inbreeding then?
Needs more ginger.
Has Tom Friedman officially changes his name to Joseph Farah? Or is this just a temporary thing?
[re=503631]Jim89048[/re]: Ok, I see that one now. Oh , butt #2… damn. That’s a good thing my socks are dirty, and I’m fresh out of tissue.
[re=503590]Extemporanus[/re]: +1,000
Now which one hires himself out as a clown at kid’s parties? Bring the cadaver dog and some of that stuff you rub under your nose when you don’t want to retch, and head over to his house.
How can Bruce Donnelly be both a ginger and an albino at the same time?
Must be that the only factory in the United States working overtime is the Asshole Factory.
Maybe Riley could go undercov…I mean, investigate surreptitiously.
[re=503595]proudgrampa[/re]: She’s a singer too. And just came out with “a collection of grassroots conservative songs” on a CD. Which means Greenwood can’t make it and she was the last-minute replacement.
Also check out Keri (Keli?). Besides the fact she looks like Susan Boyle and that she owns about ten cats, her bio says she’s a member of one of the biggest improv groups in the state of Washington. Does this mean maybe this is all part of an improv joke?
Keli should have gone with this pic.
http://americandigest.org/eatpartyorganizer.jpg
Looks more like a McPoyle Family Reunion.
Liam McPoyle: So, do you want a beverage of some sort?
Charlie Kelly: No… where’s your brother, dude?
Liam McPoyle: We just stepped out of the shower. He’ll be down in a minute.
Charlie Kelly: Alright, listen. You guys can’t go… did you just say “we”?
Liam McPoyle: What?
Charlie Kelly: Did you just say “We just stepped out of the shower”?
Apparently what drives you to be a teabagger is sexual frustration.
[re=503657]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Which one? The one giving the talk titled: “Ensuring Your Freedom: How to get blood and semen stains out of your clown suit.”
Apparently part of the registration costs cover updates to the local registry of sex offenders.
The mustache of of that Mr. Joseph Farah (Fawcett?) bears a striking resemblance to Chris Dodd’s eyebrows, especially in the distorted little thumbnail thingy at the top. Creee-peee.
And the keynote speaker is…
Hi, I’m Chris Hansen with NBC Dateline. Why don’t you have a seat there.
That Donnelly guy has molested altar boy written all over him.
Wait, Edgar Winter’s gonna be there?
I’m fuckin’ THERE.
[re=503668]skelch[/re]: Not always; for some of the teabaggers it’s racism.
Queer o’ queer on the wall,
Which one of them is creepiest of all?
*with pap enthusiasm* All of them!
Is that Bruce Donnelly Guy even alive? He looks like my Uncle Joey when they laid him out at the memorial….
[re=503612]desertwind[/re]: I see what you did there.
I’m surprised they didn’t also enlist my own local fail’stache hero to speak, as is his wont…
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
Are we positive all these guys will show? Have they got the OK from their probation officer to cross state lines?
[re=503601]El Pinche[/re]: Made me look! If that’s porn, my name Jose Jimenez. (Actually, . . .)
[re=503620]proudgrampa[/re]: That’s not a cock, it’s a sloth.
[re=503590]Extemporanus[/re]: Beyond the pale!
It’s obvious from these pictures that they all have had significant experience in posing for mug shots.
The other non-Megan’s law type folks are interesting, too. One is a lady fur’ner, from Brazil, another woman is a Fox analyst who made her career in the casinos (probably a William Bennett connection, no?), and the third one, with the geetar, is not a real Merkun either as she loves her God and family more than this country: “songs that reflect her love of God, family, and this great country”
Tom Fitton his peen between your butt cheeks, kids.
Either that’s just a bad picture, or Donnelly has NO FUCKING SOUL!!!
Clockwise from the top left:
Castrated Pudding-Eater
Nosferatu
Date Rapist
Pedobear
[re=503610]Ducksworthy[/re]: Did Lot’s daughters also taste like salt? Inquiring minds!
3 Scorpios and a Taurus.
They’ve still got Bachmann and Blackburn on their speakers list. ’cause, you know, changing the content on a website takes — I dunno — DAYS to do!!!
Hahahahahahaha, fail.
Someone needs to drop a tip to Chris Hanson.
Sarah better get cash up front for her “appearance.”
[re=503601]El Pinche[/re]: “Oh yeah, you love lickin’ that big horny black cock, doncha?”
Wow, there’s at least 4 more on that page just as creepy… Judge Roy Moore, you keep those hands where we can see ‘em.
And while ‘Keli Carender’ does sound a bit like ‘Pirelli Calendar’, I’m sure no-one has ever confused the two.
Okay, I was actually searching the Megan’s Law Website recently because we found out that my MIL met some ass on JDate who is a convicted pedophile.
The perps I saw registered in CA are better looking than these Baggers.
“It’s like everyone’s wacky, unemployed 46-year-old uncle”
The correct profile of a pedophile is a student at the high school near your child’s elementary school.
I have to spend next weekend with these assholes, as I’m going to another convention located in the same convention center and hotel as this trainwreck. Plus, I’m pregnant, so I can’t drink the sadness away. If nothing else, I hope to be able to provide some valuable video footage and still shots to Wonkette. Editors, keep an eye on your inbox.
That’s an interesting cross section they have there…pedophiles and wingnuts and corporate execs…is it any coincidence that the only women of diversity on that list have long since sold their souls to the monster known as corporation? Oh and a fox news chick…hahahaha
OH jesus…lisa mei norton performed at the free republic national convention…well she’s got her seig heil down…how hard up to you have to be for that gig to sound appealing? I hope she brought a rag to wipe up all the spittle from some of those guys seeing their very first woman..or non-white person ‘cept their mommas
haha…okay, here’s a joke…if michelle bachman’s husband owns a mental health facility..who qualifies to be his patients?
[re=503954]Wingnutia[/re]: A quick look at Lisa’s blog should be enough for you to realize that she likes all that reptard spittle.
[re=503644]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Inbreeding, and the use of the apostrophe (e.g., “you’re” for “you are”).
Sorry if that last is confusing, down there at the shallow end of the gene pool.
(Oh, and “on inbreeding” would have been better. Just sayin’ . . . .)
If these dudes had been around when Michael Jackson made his Thriller video, he could have saved a fortune on makeup…
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=spot_the_pedo
Even Maddox the Pirate is in the know…But yeah–i iz skared!
[re=503601]El Pinche[/re]: The girl-licks-cock, I mean rooster, shot is creepy as fuck. But at least they had a ginger in the mix.
I’m not sure what to think about the sloth pix, except that HuffPo has abandoned all pretense at being Serious Journalism.
Teabaggers agree: 50% of teabaggers have molestaches. Win!
Check out the evening movie line-up for The Tea Party Convention:
Feb. 4: “Peter Pan”
Feb. 5: Triple Feature: “This is It,” “Hook,” “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory”
Feb. 6: Triple Feature: “Lord of the Flies,” marathon, three versions
Feb. 7: “Goonies,” “Stand by Me”
the bruce guy looks like chuck todd from msnbc
I’m surprised they could get a location in Nashville. What with Megan’s Law and all that.
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