a rhetorical nipple slip

Fox News Thing Major Garrett Gave Whore Recommendations, Via Twitter, During State Of The Union

Last night, during the State of the Union, Fox News’ Major Garrett accidentally showed his support for a Las Vegas-based consortium of whores via Twitter. See, he Tweeted: “To overcome the numbing weight of our politics” and other Obama SOTU excerpts http://bit.ly/d6W Wed 27 Jan 18:22.” Except this URL does not redirect to whatever inane thing he had open in the tab next to the whores thing! The link opened to the whores themselves, one half of whom is pictured above, picking a wedgie like a gross person.

Watch as Major Garrett makes his way through the five stages of Twitter: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Alliteration:

I apologize. Bit.ly turned my original link to SOTU excerpts to a soft-porn link. NOT my intention. http://bit.ly/d6WZBu Wed 27 Jan 19:21

The link just posted works. Any frequent visitor here knows that is not my style. Sorry. Shld have caught it sooner. Wed 27 Jan 19:23

Related video

For those suckling snide syrup. I publicly acknowledged an innocent mistake and corrected it. If that’s not good enuf, take a hike. Wed 27 Jan 20:18

OMG FAUX PAS #2: Major Garrett just admitted he makes prostitutes suck snide syrup! Disgusting.

[Gawker]

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Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

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78 comments

  1. Terry

    Is this like the “mistake” Meagan McCain made when she posted that boobie photo to Twitter? Funny how these folks make such interesting mistakes, isn’t it?

  2. Oldskool

    Ha, a pre-emptive “take a hike”. He must know how it is on the intertubes. Ok then, I’m off to the App Trail.

  3. Radiotherapy

    You Major Pussy, you better believe we’re suckling-syrup, spitting-mad that you didn’t give us some real porn.

  4. Paul Tardy

    [re=503410]AxmxZ[/re]: “Ew. Why do gross old men exist?” So you can pay into Social Security so they can … and keep the US government relevant to both of you. But if you were just willing to put out for free, the whole social security tax thing would be irrelevant and would not need to be collected. So it’s your fault.

  5. V572625694

    [re=503433]SmutBoffin[/re]: My mother breast-fed me on snide syrup. Helps grow strong snark 12 ways!

  6. Paul Tardy

    BTW, he seems to be the first in the whole googleverse to put those three words together. So SSS or 3S or S^3 may be his shot at immortality.

  7. Crank Tango

    ooh but these “diet tips” along the left-hand side of the screen are a good start. And a refreshing change from scot brown’s charlie browns.

  8. Crank Tango

    [re=503437]freakishlystrong[/re]: no thank god! and no, that’s not a soft-core porn site, those are straight-up hookers, no?

  9. Tundra Grifter

    [re=503447]Suds McKenzie[/re]: “Soft Porn?” Speak for yourself, Major! The only thing soft I saw on that site (and, BTW, thanx for the link!) was a whole lotta airbags. I give it 4 Whore Diamonds…

  10. dijetlo

    Of course were sucking snide syrup over here…
    If you mix it with the funny.
    You get sweet, delicious, snark

    Fox heads flack shamelessly for bankrupt ideologies
    While assuming morally superior poses
    And we laugh at it.

    There is a certain mathematical balance to the universe
    And I for one, thank Major Malfunction for contributing this little coefficient to the equation.
    Bravo sir.

  11. Red Zeppelin

    Thanks for the info, Major. I don’t get nearly enough whore links on pop-ups when I’m visiting teh p0rn sitez.

    Say, wasn’t he a character in Catch-22?

  12. SmutBoffin

    [re=503453]Katydid[/re]: Or even better, one more tweet saying “Yeah I was looking for internet whores during the Preznit’s speech. Gotta problem?”

  13. AutomaticPilot

    [re=503418]Oldskool[/re]: oh shit… maybe I should read the comments instead of just skimming them

  14. ella

    There once was a Fox guy on Twitter,
    A wingnut whose life seemed quite bitter.
    When a porn site we spied
    He blamed and bit.lyed
    But in truth he just couldn’t quit her.

  15. SmutBoffin

    [re=503469]ella[/re]: A daring old Major from FOX
    went out cruising for some hot “box”
    his link went astray
    when he found he must pay
    now he sits at home stroking his…

  16. comicbookguy

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: Marjorie Garrett was the headmistress in The Facts of Life.

    [re=503437]freakishlystrong[/re]: For that, you win a ping pong ball!

    Wasn’t there a news article about how Republicans are way ahead on this intertubes thing b/c so many of them twitter? Today, we are all grateful for that.

  17. jodyleek

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Michelle Bachman dropped out too. But, I think she
    is still going to have the Holy Mother of Trig campaign with her this spring.

  18. SmutBoffin

    [re=503481]proudgrampa[/re]: Uh, poetic license?

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Palin won’t drop out, since she has no credibility to lose by attending and speaking and taking the $$$.

  19. Snarkalicious

    [re=503481]proudgrampa[/re]: Children don’t have property rights, so they’ve got to belong to someone.

  20. steverino247

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Maybe TEA should be changed to EPA (Enough Palin Already). $549 each to get in so Palin can get 100K for speaking? What would it take so she never spoke again? I’d pay $549 for that.

  21. lawrenceofthedesert

    Major Garrett is no Major Taylor, but Lance Armstrong might be — or the delightfully named Levi Leipheimer, which sounds like a Scandinavian oath. Heck, Major Garrett isn’t even a Major Lance, who, after all, had some hits. (Shouldn’t he be Minor Garrett?)

  22. yellowdogdem

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: The most important major in Catch-22 was “Major Major Major Major.”

  23. Jim89048

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: See, if they had never been allowed to gay-marry, this would have been unpossible!

  24. proudgrampa

    [re=503486]SmutBoffin[/re]: Just wanted to make sure you’re not still on a learner’s permit.

  25. El Pinche

    [re=503496]qwerty42[/re]: Major is doing the best he can. FoxNews per diem ain’t much, and ladyboys ain’t cheap.

  26. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I refuse to believe anyone at FOX News did this delibritly as the words “Young,” “Gay,” “German,” “Bondage,” “Boys,” or “Leather” do not appear in the URL.

  27. the problem child

    Twatting skills for dummies: Learn to cut and paste the whole thing. (No, not cunt and pasties.)

  28. desertwind

    Ha ha. Anybody read that WaPo article (and chat!) about how Republicans now own the internets?

    Me neither.

  29. Deacon Frank Orris

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: I thought Major Garrett was the guy Larry Hagman played on “I Dream of Jeannie.”

  30. SocialistMuslin

    Oh give Major Garret (Aside: this ISN’T a GI Joe action figure?) a break. Like YOU can tell the difference between soft porn and Fox News!

    Also “suckling snide syrup”? Didn’t Larry Craig get arrested for that a few years ago?

Comments are closed.