a rhetorical nipple slip

Fox News Thing Major Garrett Gave Whore Recommendations, Via Twitter, During State Of The Union

Last night, during the State of the Union, Fox News’ Major Garrett accidentally showed his support for a Las Vegas-based consortium of whores via Twitter. See, he Tweeted: “To overcome the numbing weight of our politics” and other Obama SOTU excerpts http://bit.ly/d6W Wed 27 Jan 18:22.” Except this URL does not redirect to whatever inane thing he had open in the tab next to the whores thing! The link opened to the whores themselves, one half of whom is pictured above, picking a wedgie like a gross person.

Watch as Major Garrett makes his way through the five stages of Twitter: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Alliteration:

I apologize. Bit.ly turned my original link to SOTU excerpts to a soft-porn link. NOT my intention. http://bit.ly/d6WZBu Wed 27 Jan 19:21

The link just posted works. Any frequent visitor here knows that is not my style. Sorry. Shld have caught it sooner. Wed 27 Jan 19:23

For those suckling snide syrup. I publicly acknowledged an innocent mistake and corrected it. If that’s not good enuf, take a hike. Wed 27 Jan 20:18

OMG FAUX PAS #2: Major Garrett just admitted he makes prostitutes suck snide syrup! Disgusting.

[Gawker]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • AxmxZ

    Ew. Why do gross old men exist?

  • AxmxZ

    Anyone else surprised the whore is female?

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Good help us all…this is the most watched news station…we are doomed.

  • Terry

    Is this like the “mistake” Meagan McCain made when she posted that boobie photo to Twitter? Funny how these folks make such interesting mistakes, isn’t it?

  • geminisunmars

    Wasn’t Major Garret a character from “Catch 22″?

  • Oldskool

    Ha, a pre-emptive “take a hike”. He must know how it is on the intertubes. Ok then, I’m off to the App Trail.

  • Scott Brown&#39

    Don’t worry Garrett, we prefer soft porn to anything Faux News throws on Twitter.

  • slappypaddy

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: no, that was major minor — same person, though

  • Tommmcatt

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]:

    I thought he was on “I Dream of Jeannie”.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Major Garret is Fox’s Military analyst expert.
    Semper Phi!

  • proudgrampa

    What happens in Vegas…

  • Radiotherapy

    You Major Pussy, you better believe we’re suckling-syrup, spitting-mad that you didn’t give us some real porn.

  • SayItWithWookies

    You.ly!

  • elburrito

    Must have been a technical glitch if they were girl whores.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: Actually, his full name was Major Major Major and he was a major: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_Major_Major_Major

  • Paul Tardy

    [re=503410]AxmxZ[/re]: “Ew. Why do gross old men exist?” So you can pay into Social Security so they can … and keep the US government relevant to both of you. But if you were just willing to put out for free, the whole social security tax thing would be irrelevant and would not need to be collected. So it’s your fault.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=503428]proudgrampa[/re]: Sorry, my link does not go to a porn site.

  • SmutBoffin

    “suckling snide syrup”? What’s next, “horse hockey”? Sherman T. Potter he is not.

  • freakishlystrong

    Um..Julie…um NSFW, yikes! Wait..is that Malkin??1!

  • Papas got a brand new teabag

    sure, Major. blame it on the bitly.

  • rocktonsammy

    “Take a hike”???

  • V572625694

    [re=503433]SmutBoffin[/re]: My mother breast-fed me on snide syrup. Helps grow strong snark 12 ways!

  • Paul Tardy

    BTW, he seems to be the first in the whole googleverse to put those three words together. So SSS or 3S or S^3 may be his shot at immortality.

  • magic titty

    [re=503426]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh man.

  • Crank Tango

    ooh but these “diet tips” along the left-hand side of the screen are a good start. And a refreshing change from scot brown’s charlie browns.

  • Suds McKenzie

    “Soft Porn”, …. on the Internet, Pull it Together “Major”.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=503437]freakishlystrong[/re]: no thank god! and no, that’s not a soft-core porn site, those are straight-up hookers, no?

  • Way Cool Larry

    this would never have happened if we had a normal white presnit

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=503447]Suds McKenzie[/re]: “Soft Porn?” Speak for yourself, Major! The only thing soft I saw on that site (and, BTW, thanx for the link!) was a whole lotta airbags. I give it 4 Whore Diamonds…

  • dijetlo

    Of course were sucking snide syrup over here…
    If you mix it with the funny.
    You get sweet, delicious, snark

    Fox heads flack shamelessly for bankrupt ideologies
    While assuming morally superior poses
    And we laugh at it.

    There is a certain mathematical balance to the universe
    And I for one, thank Major Malfunction for contributing this little coefficient to the equation.
    Bravo sir.

  • Katydid

    Why’s he gotta be such a dick about it? It was funny, either eat some humble pie or STFU.

  • Georgia Burning

    Certainly better looking than the rest of the whores on Fox.

  • WadISay

    We do understand, Major; everyone needs his butt flossed from time to time.

  • doxastic

    Major Garrett: When aspirational naming meets limited aspirations.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    I love snide syrup, especially on waffles.

  • Red Zeppelin

    Thanks for the info, Major. I don’t get nearly enough whore links on pop-ups when I’m visiting teh p0rn sitez.

    Say, wasn’t he a character in Catch-22?

  • El Pinche

    God damn the clipboard.

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=503453]Katydid[/re]: Or even better, one more tweet saying “Yeah I was looking for internet whores during the Preznit’s speech. Gotta problem?”

  • Gopherit

    So Major Garrett is planning a visit to Vegas, huh?

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=503441]rocktonsammy[/re]: he meant on the Appalaichain Trail

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=503418]Oldskool[/re]: oh shit… maybe I should read the comments instead of just skimming them

  • TGY

    Freudian URL?

  • ella

    There once was a Fox guy on Twitter,
    A wingnut whose life seemed quite bitter.
    When a porn site we spied
    He blamed and bit.lyed
    But in truth he just couldn’t quit her.

  • Jim89048

    Giant Coochie Snorcher or GTFO!

  • geminisunmars

    And the Snide Syrup award goes to [re=503469]ella[/re]:

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=503469]ella[/re]: A daring old Major from FOX
    went out cruising for some hot “box”
    his link went astray
    when he found he must pay
    now he sits at home stroking his…

  • comicbookguy

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: Marjorie Garrett was the headmistress in The Facts of Life.

    [re=503437]freakishlystrong[/re]: For that, you win a ping pong ball!

    Wasn’t there a news article about how Republicans are way ahead on this intertubes thing b/c so many of them twitter? Today, we are all grateful for that.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0
  • proudgrampa

    [re=503476]SmutBoffin[/re]: He has more than one???

  • jodyleek

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Michelle Bachman dropped out too. But, I think she
    is still going to have the Holy Mother of Trig campaign with her this spring.

  • SmutBoffin

    [re=503481]proudgrampa[/re]: Uh, poetic license?

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Palin won’t drop out, since she has no credibility to lose by attending and speaking and taking the $$$.

  • Suds McKenzie

    [re=503450]Tundra Grifter[/re]: Can I just call him “Major Porn” now??

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=503481]proudgrampa[/re]: Children don’t have property rights, so they’ve got to belong to someone.

  • steverino247

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Maybe TEA should be changed to EPA (Enough Palin Already). $549 each to get in so Palin can get 100K for speaking? What would it take so she never spoke again? I’d pay $549 for that.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Major Garrett is no Major Taylor, but Lance Armstrong might be — or the delightfully named Levi Leipheimer, which sounds like a Scandinavian oath. Heck, Major Garrett isn’t even a Major Lance, who, after all, had some hits. (Shouldn’t he be Minor Garrett?)

  • yellowdogdem

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: The most important major in Catch-22 was “Major Major Major Major.”

  • Jim89048

    [re=503478]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: See, if they had never been allowed to gay-marry, this would have been unpossible!

  • Sen. Schlong

    The lovely lass has all the qualities needed to be elected US Senator from Massachusetts.

  • qwerty42

    [re=503411]AxmxZ[/re]: Anyone else surprised the whore is female?
    he’s bi?

  • proudgrampa

    [re=503486]SmutBoffin[/re]: Just wanted to make sure you’re not still on a learner’s permit.

  • El Pinche

    [re=503496]qwerty42[/re]: Major is doing the best he can. FoxNews per diem ain’t much, and ladyboys ain’t cheap.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I refuse to believe anyone at FOX News did this delibritly as the words “Young,” “Gay,” “German,” “Bondage,” “Boys,” or “Leather” do not appear in the URL.

  • blader

    my dog ate the proper hyperlink

  • the problem child

    Twatting skills for dummies: Learn to cut and paste the whole thing. (No, not cunt and pasties.)

  • betterDeadThanRed

    Today we are all fat fingered twotterers.

  • Hopey dont play that game

    Major Garrett gave me major wood.

  • Paterlanger

    [re=503458]Red Zeppelin[/re]: No, you’re thinking of Caleb.

  • desertwind

    Ha ha. Anybody read that WaPo article (and chat!) about how Republicans now own the internets?

    Me neither.

  • Cheney Guevara

    [re=503450]Tundra Grifter[/re]:

    please, wonkette some clarification on soft vs. hard

  • Capitol Hillbilly

    Snide Syrup is an essential ingredient of Purple Drank

  • Deacon Frank Orris

    [re=503417]geminisunmars[/re]: I thought Major Garrett was the guy Larry Hagman played on “I Dream of Jeannie.”

  • I-man

    I am not going to moralize here, but this is why you don’t mix porn and work.

  • EdFlinstone

    You might think that was a whore site but actually those are FoxNews interns.

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=503426]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Man, where are your props for that? I was rolling.

  • SocialistMuslin

    Oh give Major Garret (Aside: this ISN’T a GI Joe action figure?) a break. Like YOU can tell the difference between soft porn and Fox News!

    Also “suckling snide syrup”? Didn’t Larry Craig get arrested for that a few years ago?

  • comicbookguy

    Needs myGOP link frame

  • mollymcguire

    [re=503411]AxmxZ[/re]: My first thought.

  • hunter.blatherer

    Hey, alliterations work. Ladies Love Cool James.