THE QUIET AMERICAN  9:38 am January 28, 2010

Samuel Alito’s Rebellion Is *So* Derivative

by Juli Weiner

Samuel Alito was on his absolute worst behavior last night, mouthing “not true, not true” when Obama criticized last week’s Supreme Court decision to allow corporations to download elections and politicians from iTunes. Anyway, sad thing for many South Carolinans today, when they eventually find out they cannot elect Samuel Alito. [TPMtv]

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AggieDemocrat January 28, 2010 at 9:43 am

I’m surprised Justice Sotomayor didn’t punch him in the nads for that.

Fox News Light January 28, 2010 at 9:47 am

So the biggest thing to come out of the SOTU last night was Alito’s mouth?

forgracie January 28, 2010 at 9:49 am

Grade A cocksucker. Q.E.D.

OReillysVibrator January 28, 2010 at 9:53 am

[re=503294]forgracie[/re]: And a piece of garbage too.

TGY January 28, 2010 at 9:54 am

In accords with the SCOTUS ruling declaring corporations ‘people’, I am going to date one. What do you bring on a first date with an Inc.? It’ll be expensive enough to have condoms for everybody.

rafflesinc January 28, 2010 at 9:55 am

Guys guys, this is great news for liberals. In a couple years, when the challenge to the new legislation gets to the supreme court, liberal groups can use this to request that Alito recuse himself. It’ll just be like the time, after Scalia went duck hunting with Cheney, liberal groups tried to get Scalia to recuse in their pursuit of Cheney’s energy task force records.

Spoiler: Scalia refused and issued a defiant screed.

Capitol Hillbilly January 28, 2010 at 10:02 am

Since corporations are people, why don’t we have one on the SCOTUS?

In the name of diversity, Halliburton must replace John Paul Stevens!

libwakman January 28, 2010 at 10:03 am

Alito was simply denying a fart blame game targeted by Sotomayor. Not me..not me.

weejee January 28, 2010 at 10:08 am

Typical for a member of the SCROTUS.

rocktonsammy January 28, 2010 at 10:09 am

I forgot Alito was a douchbag for a moment.

gurukalehuru January 28, 2010 at 10:11 am

With all due deference to separation of powers, the Supreme Court is a bunch of assholes. Don’t even get me started on those fuckwits in the legislative branch.

Monsieur Grumpe January 28, 2010 at 10:14 am

Oh those non-activist judges are such scamps!

snoidoid January 28, 2010 at 10:18 am

So, I trying to figure out just what the truth is. Is Alito a corporate tool, and fully aware of what his decision means? Or is he just an ideological tool who doesn’t realize the import of his decision? Or is he a greedy tool who has been bribed by envelopes of cash that mysteriously appear in his Wall Street Journal? Or a the whole set of tools (made in China, of course)?

Buttery1000 January 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

Palin/Alito 2012.

jodyleek January 28, 2010 at 10:19 am

[re=503296]TGY[/re]: An HIV/VD test kit. Those corporations are screwing people all
the time.

Oldskool January 28, 2010 at 10:21 am

MSNBC is showing him cringing like he needs to change his diapers. What a dispshit.

Potater January 28, 2010 at 10:21 am

Afterwards, Alito continued his rampage by touching the Queen’s back, saying the word “negro,” and vomiting on the Japanese Prime Minister.

Sussemilch January 28, 2010 at 10:24 am

You know you live in a Republican world when corporations are people but enemy combatants are not.

Radiotherapy January 28, 2010 at 10:26 am

[re=503309]snoidoid[/re]: The truth is…first and foremost is that he is a lawyer.

snideinplainsight January 28, 2010 at 10:27 am

[re=503296]TGY[/re]: Just don’t wear Spanx! Be prepared!

norbizness January 28, 2010 at 10:27 am

Unfortunately, because of spineless Dems who never attempted to use the filibuster, we have this reactionary on the court for another 30 years, or put another way approximately 10 years after global warming kills us all.

ella January 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

Just think, if that silly old tradition of SCOTUS appointments for life were still adhered to, we wouldn’t have every single president treating appointments as a bonus round. Then again, we’d be stuck with Alito till he died.

And he’ll probably never die or retire, just out of spite. Unless some corporation pays him to.

PerhapsSo January 28, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=503296]TGY[/re]: I’ll do you one better: I’ll marry one. While they don’t want the gheyz to marry, I’m sure that if Boeing or Google or Alcoa and I wanted to get all wedded, they would be fine with it.

gurukalehuru January 28, 2010 at 10:31 am

I remember in 5th grade – 5th fucking grade, mind you – we had to do a team presentation and then the rest of the kids in the class critiqued it. I came in for some pretty harsh criticism for making pretty much exactly the same face Alito made while my friend was speaking.
Conservatives are all bloody 5th graders. Bad 5th graders, at that.

BaconTime January 28, 2010 at 10:34 am

Republicans are stumbling all over themselves to explain why this frowny face is “bad news for Obama.” They are hilariously limited to (1) He’s right but he said it in a meanypants way and (2) The SCOTUS decision was actually awesome (or like, not THAT bad, if you’re talking to a teabagger).

Toomush Infermashun January 28, 2010 at 10:34 am

Not a lawyer, but…say, could he be disbarred and still sit on the Court?…

the problem child January 28, 2010 at 10:39 am

Why am a going to a Canadian blog for a thorough review of this decision, including the complete lack of judicial restraint in the conduct of the appeal?

proudgrampa January 28, 2010 at 10:39 am

[re=503322]PerhapsSo[/re]: You beat me to it. But I was wondering, how do you tell an Inc’s gender?

proudgrampa January 28, 2010 at 10:40 am

Oh. And Alito is a dick. Also.

Radiotherapy January 28, 2010 at 10:41 am

This reminds me of when Roger B. Taney scoffed at Lincoln’s Inauguration.

loquaciousmusic January 28, 2010 at 10:47 am

I read something somewhere on the Internet last week (Glenn Greenwald?) about how corporations basically control politics anyway (through their “PACs” or “TRUCKNUTZ”) and how this decision won’t appreciably change anything. Who knows?

hoosiermama January 28, 2010 at 10:50 am

[re=503309]snoidoid[/re]: Just a tool, maybe?

WadISay January 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

I read his lips to say, Fuck this spook…

Joshua Norton January 28, 2010 at 10:52 am

how do you tell an Inc’s gender?

It’s obvious they’re all male. If they were female they would be locked up for prostitution and the SCOTUS would be all “Oh, whatevs, now pass me my cilice”.

Oldskool January 28, 2010 at 10:53 am

[re=503296]TGY[/re]: What do you bring on a first date with an Inc.?

Lots of lube of course.

the problem child January 28, 2010 at 10:53 am

[re=503327]proudgrampa[/re]: DADT is still the rule in Corporate US America.

Snarko Marx January 28, 2010 at 11:06 am

[re=503316]Sussemilch[/re]: Profound. I intend to pepper my speech with that phrase going forward. Thanks.

SayItWithWookies January 28, 2010 at 11:08 am

I just assumed he was murmuring “Nortel, Nortel,” the name of one of his new sponsors, who happens to be traded on the NYSE.

Gopherit January 28, 2010 at 11:10 am

[re=503296]TGY[/re]: You should marry one. Maybe G.E. Can you imagine the divorce settlement?

converse January 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

First they came for the baseball stadiums and bowl games, and I did nothing. Then they came for the politicians…

TubeCity January 28, 2010 at 11:20 am

He was just mad because he had to sit next to a girl who went to Princeton, despite his efforts to keep them out. The world will pay for that! Soon only corporations will vote! And go to Princeton!

natteringnabomb January 28, 2010 at 11:33 am

Arrogance shakes its mindless little head.

torera January 28, 2010 at 11:33 am

1) Maybe he really is the dumb one and actually thinks what Obama said is incorrect — Ayito is Scalia’s tool, after all.

2) Sussemilch: I hope Jon Favreau hires you to write sound bites.

Ripley_in_CT January 28, 2010 at 12:19 pm

Alito gives me cramps.

Sparky McGruff January 28, 2010 at 12:51 pm

If corporations are now officially “people”, with all the rights thereof, then they should go to prison when they willfully commit a crime. I want to see the board of directors of Halliburton in prison for electrocuting soldiers in Iraq. I figure, give the “corporation” a 99 year sentence; that probably works out to 8-10 per board member, right?

One Yield Regular January 28, 2010 at 12:58 pm

By any chance did Thomas say anything? Does he *ever* say anything? He’s like Bartleby the Scrivener, only less verbose.

comicbookguy January 28, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=503363]TubeCity[/re]: Aw look, our little corporation is all grown up and going off to college. Seems like only yesterday you were just a business plan that needed constant feeding and changing.

Are the right-to-lifers going to start protesting the abortion of start-ups? Maybe one of them will shoot a VC who performs the operations. Life begins at incorporation you godless libruls!

DustBowlBlues January 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm

[re=503460]One Yield Regular[/re]: No need to say anything, ever, if your mind is made up on all cases you will hear, forever. The more reactionary, pro-business, anti-negro side wins.

Why, pray tell, would Sen. Schumer be writing legislation to prevent foreign govts from contributing to US campaigns if it were something Hopey made up in the SOTU? I posted the first reference to this (yay me, cold scooping “my” wonkette) last night after Sarah Palin, daily proving herself to be even stupider than my worst imagination painted her, talked about this precise thing and said she figured “the people” would believe a Supreme Court judge before the believed a voodoo marxist Kenyan.

The absurdity, as I astutely pointed out last night,is that this isn’t a fucking case of anyone being able to lie about what the opinion says–it’s in fucking writing. The issue is whether the Justice Dept, the lawyers in the WH and in the Democratic congress, are incorrectly reading what it means OR Alito didn’t understand what Scalia and Roberts were tricking him into. Would anyone be surprised if this light weight said, “Wait. Doesn’t this allow African and Mexican corporations to buy our elections?

And Scalia corrected him and Roberts took him aside and said, “Don’t worry, little buddy. This opinion won’t let that happen.”

Idiot doesn’t even understand it.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 28, 2010 at 1:36 pm

It must have been his red hot Latina blood…, no, wait, that was the other one.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 28, 2010 at 1:44 pm

But that’s not what he said—he
distinctly said “To blave” and as we all know, to
blave means to bluff, heh? So you were probably
playing cards, and he cheated–

lawrenceofthedesert January 28, 2010 at 1:54 pm

When did Alito learn to shake his head? Didn’t his clerk used to take care of that for him? Mandatory retirement age for the SCOTUS fossils cannot come too soon and should be 70 or 75 at the max.

Mr Blifil January 28, 2010 at 3:36 pm


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