• May 26, 2012
AMERICA! TIMES FIFTY!

January 27, 2010

Liveblogging Obama’s Call For A New, More Gay Economy

by Jim Newell  

Good a picture as any.Whoa hey Sara has to go, time for a new liveblog! Did you hear the part where Obama promised to drill offshore? Go nuts, baby! Also he wants to double exports. This only seems plausible if we can export unemployment. Can we export unemployment?

9:41 — “A high school diploma no longer guarantees a good job.” What about those of us with a middle school diploma? Jobbs?
9:42 — Proposes eliminating college debt after 10 years if graduates consider going into public service, and urges colleges to cut their own tuition. We CANNOT support this stuff strongly enough. Glad to hear it.
9:43 — Also, he will save your homes! GO ON?
9:44 — Says we need some deal called “health insurance reform”… never heard of it. (BTW — even if it’s less accurate, “health care reform” sounds better.)
9:45 — Oh, it’s joke hour! “Now. I didn’t take on health care because of the politics.” Everyone laughs! BECAUSE THE POLITICS ARE SO BAD!
9:46 — There’s way too much dramatic irony in this health care segment. What if a retarded person were to tune in and wonder, “Oh? Has health care been an issue in the popular news recently?” That retarded person would be in trouble!
9:47 — “By the time I’m finished speaking tonight, more Americans will have lost their coverage.” Hooray!
9:48 — He remains committed to these fucking losers who can’t ever afford… they can’t even… they can’t even afford HEALTH INSURANCE!
9:49 — He will not LET Congress walk away from this reform. Uh, they’re the ones who are trying, pal.
9:50 — Nancy Pelosi is smiling so much! The communism pleases her! SHE COULD NOT BE HAPPIER!
9:51 — Whoa whoa whoa, is he complaining about how George W. Bush blew through the surpluses last decade? Rude. RUDE. Don’t mention facts about the presidency of George Bush Junior. STOP CALLING THEM FACTS, TOO.
9:52 — Why does John McCain have Lindsey Graham’s cock lodged deep in his throat? Oh right, it’s Wednesday.
9:53 — Meh, non-important spending freeze political ploy babble. This was our designated Ignore Time. Otherwise, this is a pretty great speech. Let’s hope it helps… America… and shit.
9:54 — “This won’t take effect until next year. That’s how budgeting works.” For some reason this was the most comical thing he could have said to members of Congress. “Hey guys: FY 2011! HEY-O!” “HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!”
9:55 — “It’s time to try something new: let’s invest in our people without leaving them mountains of debt.” Sounds like the part where he takes the guns away.
9:56 — Why are these fucking shits laughing when he says these basic lines? They must have gotten to the dealer before we could…
9:58 — AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA, best part of the night: Obama calls out the FRONT-ROW-SITTING Supreme Court Justices and how much donkey poop they eat hourly, because of the Citizens United decision. Look at them trying to not make a gesture! (Oops, Alito: shaking your head is the opposite of “not making a gesture.”)
10:00 — Larry Summers is trying really, really hard not to fall asleep.
10:01 — Now to my main part of the speech: Why are you people so mean to each other? C’mon. Who behaves like this? Who does this?
10:02 — I was elected to make everyone like each other! DEMOCRATS: solve problems. REPUBLICANS: die. Problems solved!
10:03 — It’s really great to hear him speaking so directly to both parties like this. It won’t mean jackshit by tomorrow, but it’s great.
10:04 — Security part. This is the only part rich people care about, because we’d all get nuked by the same bomb, right?
10:05 — Al Qaeda 2011 war ending fake maybe who knows war death bombs whatever death death death. Did you all see the iPad?
10:06 — Which war did he say was ending? Well, we know it’s not Korea.
10:07 — We have a responsibility to help veterans when they come home. “That’s why we’re building a 21st century VA.” Amen. Apparently Joe Biden and Michelle Obama are in charge of this. He’s the vice president, and she’s married to his boss! They will Save All Veterans, with a magical affair.
10:08 — “…That’s why we pay attention to nuclear weapons.” Bathroom break!
10:10 — He’s working with muslin nations to help Haiti. Wow. When do we get our $10 text message donations back?
10:11 — EARLY ANALYSIS: (a) It is a Strong Speech (b) SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.
10:12 — Love how CNN zooms in on the joint chiefs whenever he mentions something about the military, like Let Gay People Fight (DADT). DO THEY EXPRESS CONSTERNATION?
10:13 — “Too many Americans have lost faith in our biggest institutions: our corporations, our media, and yes, our government.” Well, that’s 100% accurate, so… uh… “Penis.”
10:14 — “My campaign promised change.” Republican senators look furious.
10:15 — Does every old man in this chamber have Tourette’s? Yes, yes they can.
10:16 — “We can do everything we can to keep our poll numbers high…” Mmm, sounds good, we’ll have that!
10:17 — “Despite all these setbacks, that spirit of determination and optimism, that fundamental decency that has always been at the core of the American people: that lives on.” Do you feel employed yet? CAN YOU FEEL THAT EMPLOYMENT?
10:18 — Some eight-year-old boy from Louisiana sent Obama his allowance. He demands Obama not seek to increase transparency on credit-default swap trades.
10:20 — SPEECH OVER, FINALLY. Great speech, Barry, truly. Bless you. Make it all happen.
10:21 — SARA K. “BABY” SMITH will be liveblogging Bob McDonnell’s response etc. Keep on the watch for a new liveblog. And thank you for clicking all night. We truly love and appreciate all of you. We mean that.
(10:25 — Fuckers.)

{ 265 comments }

joe twelve pack January 27, 2010 at 9:41 pm

those “generals” in the front row look like they are sleeping, they should just stay home

GeneralLerong January 27, 2010 at 9:41 pm

Hello? Don’t make me turn on the TV.

obfuscator January 27, 2010 at 9:41 pm

here comes the fun part… will strategic manscaping be covered under muslin healthcare legislation?? scott brown wants to know!!

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Healthcare!! Yay. Clear some things up Barry.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Hey, I have a pre-existing condition — I’m not stoned all the time. Is this fair?!

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Also, I can’t look at that naked picture anymore. Please make it stop.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Tackling childhood obesity — a critical issue to pedophiles everywhere.

obfuscator January 27, 2010 at 9:43 pm

michelle went from sexy ice queen to 1000 watt smile in 1.3 seconds oh god she’s lurvely.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:44 pm

Haha, he made Michelle blush. I so love her.

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 9:44 pm

I thought he was going to be Angry Daddy, but he’s Ladies Love Smooth Barry…and so now I feel sexually disconcerted.

CaliforniaMike January 27, 2010 at 9:45 pm

If only Barry would call Joe Wilson to the podium, bend him over and teabag him. Amurrika could respect a prez’nit like that.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:45 pm

Debbie Wasserman-Schulz is looking nice.

obfuscator January 27, 2010 at 9:45 pm

[re=502719]SayItWithWookies[/re]: pedophile lobbyists are always complaining that the kids are just “messy fat” instead of “pleasingly plump” these days.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:45 pm

What do DOCTORS know about HEALTH CARE. STUPID LIBRUL.

dave666 January 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

This is just a plot to keep Browns picture on the top list of stories.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Got a better idea? Lemme know! Um, disingenuous, B.

Brendan M. January 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

“You’re either with the American people, or you’re with the insurance companies.”

Not all Bushisms/Sithisms are bad, Obama. Fuck it, I’m going back to my gin. Enough with this engagement stuff.

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

Oh snap. That’s right republicans you let us know.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm

MASSIVE FISCAL HOLE. Love that movie…

Jerri January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

When was the last time a high school diploma was enough to guarantee a good job? 1957? But yay for proposing something for forgiving student loan debt. That shit is brutal.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

That’s right, Repubs, get your fat white asses up.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

FINE, Jim. Here on the new blog post. Happy??????

Sharkey January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

JIM NEWELL SUCKS BROWN DICKY-PENIS!

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

Paying for two wars? I thought it was BOGO!

ms_mcgee January 27, 2010 at 9:47 pm

“Fiscal hole.” Dirtay, bad economy.

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

“All this was before I walked in the door.” <– Loved that!

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Jesus. I honestly thought he was going to say “all this horseshit,” but he went for “all this horse trading.”

I’m reposting this from the last thread, which may be a banhammerable offense, I don’t care, I’m stoned, but I honestly wanna see it:

I seriously hope Joe Wilson has gone off his meds, and gets all shouty again, but this time Obama loses his shit, leaps over the Secret Service, and pounds the fucker.

Words don’t mean shit to Americans, Hopey. Blood and guts, prez, blood and guts.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

“Let me know”? Hopey, you really want to drown in Republican blather, don’t you?

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

YES. BLAME BUSH THANK YOU.

MCCAIN, PLEASE STOP BLOWING GRAHAM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SPEECH.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

McCain’s cheek implants are getting me bloody horned up.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

I think he just said, “Fuckin Bush did it. NMP.”

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

“I dare you to say ‘You lie,’ bitches.”

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

I like when Barry plays The Dozens on Repubtards.

obfuscator January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

oh hey are you listening you fucking teabaggers? THE DEFICIT WAS BLOWN UP BEFORE WE HAD A SOCIALIST UPPITY COLORED PRESIDENT. where were you from 2000 to 2009?

Terry January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

“This was all before I walked in the door.”

Oh, the GOP’ers didn’t like that one.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Aww Hopey, Facts don’t work with the retards.

HipHopOpotamus January 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Oh god, I did not need to see Lindsey Graham on my TV tonight. Gonna be sick.

proudgrampa January 27, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Here comes the spending freeze joke…

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:49 pm

[re=502762]Katydid[/re]: If Wilson starts yapping again, Hopey should have him escorted the fuck out, en bonne police.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:50 pm

His speech writers deserve a lap dance and a Dos Equis tonight.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:50 pm

What’s Nancy buzzing about back there? Now she looks like she’s gunna cry.

DangerousLiberal January 27, 2010 at 9:50 pm

WTF with the overhead shot on CNN? What, is John Madden going to get out the telestrator? “Well, Wolf, Obama’s going to send blockers into the weak side of the Asshat line, right were Joe Lie-man is sitting….”

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Lindsay, for fuck’s sake, it’s primetime. Put on a straight face.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Hey Republicans — your tax cuts are going to die. Say goodbye to them — lid’s on the cookie jar again.

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

[re=502759]ms_mcgee[/re]: a good felch can shore up the fiscal hole no problem.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Gimmicks? In D.C.? Nooooo.

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Executive orders!!!1! I for one welcome our new totalitarian Kenyan overlord!

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

[re=502774]Terry[/re]: “No, it wasn’t. No, it wasn’t. That all happened the SECOND YOU WALKED IN THE DOOR. SO THERE.”

Jim Demintia January 27, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Colleges can start cutting tuition WHEN STATES STOP CUTTING THEIR FUNDING, WHICH THEY’VE BEEN DOING FOR DECADES.

El Pinche January 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

OK, WHAT IN COCK’S NAME DID I MISS?? (that’s the last time i have stimulate my wife’s fiscal hole during an important America meeting).

Did Joe Wilson have another tourette attack?!

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

That’s how budgeting works, indeed.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

That’s how budgeting works. BIG LAUGH. This crowd is a killer.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Who did the crazy laugh?

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 9:52 pm

I never realized how hot budget talk is.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

[re=502743]dave666[/re]: yeah I am not sure why we needed to do that, except to balance out meg mccabe’s jugs, so I’ve been told.

Lawndarts January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

how many of us are wearing pants?

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

PAYGO? Why not BOGO?

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

suck it, ima let u finish but my executive order had you at hello. Bush suckkkkked. Also.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

“That’s what we did for eight years.” Yaaaay!

imissopus January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Barry’s gettin’ chippy.

Jukesgrrl January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

[re=502729]doxastic[/re]: If LL Smooth Barry works for the Republicans, fine, but I still don’t believe they will support anything he asks for no matter how clappy they are. It’s like McCain going to that little dinner Barry hosted in his honor and then hosing the new prez the day after.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:53 pm

[re=502797]Jim Demintia[/re]: Indeedy.

SOTUisBORING January 27, 2010 at 9:54 pm

speech today. Meeting with lobbyists tomorrow.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:54 pm

What’s that goofy little falsetto when he says “let’s try common sense!” Hate that fake little voice.

ms_mcgee January 27, 2010 at 9:54 pm

[re=502791]magic titty[/re]: As long as you get Santorum involved?

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:54 pm

Republicans: *grumble rumble rumble FART*

Joy January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Oh for fucks sake. First we have to be all Hopey, now we have to be all commonsensy! Crap Mister Prezident, when does it stop, all this requirements on us????????/

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

[re=502800]simetrias[/re]: He’s saying this expressly to the right side of the rotunda. You know, ’cause they haven’t a fucking clue.

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Is he going to talk about foreign policy yet or are we going to spend the next week hearing about how he didn’t say “terrorism” every fifteen seconds?

ella January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

SCOTUS ruling mention — yes, Hopey!!

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

SCOTUS, go to the corner. Right now.

Jukesgrrl January 27, 2010 at 9:55 pm

Are there going to be blue avatars at the end?

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Ooh a rumble from the crowd at the mention of excluding lobbyists from policy boards. And slams the Citizens United decision — that’s pretty ballsy.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Haw haw, now hopey’s kickin’ the Supreme Cobags’ asses! Yeah, SUCK IT, Alito and Scalio and Freedo and Clarence!

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Oh, god, special interests. ALL these Congressbeasts love their monies.

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

[re=502729]doxastic[/re]: I thought he was going to be Angry Daddy, but he’s Ladies Love Smooth Barry…and so now I feel sexually disconcerted.

Do we have to choose? There’s a time and a place for both Barrys in my sexytime fantasies….Jesus God, I’ve said too much.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Yay! Hopey is dinging the recent SCOTUS decision!

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Oh snap. Fuck You Supreme Court ass holes.

Oh hell to the no January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

@katydid I’m sober but I share your beatdown wishes. Let me know if you need a DD!

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Boehner looks drunk.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Hahaha, fuck you, Roberts, you corporate cabana boy.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:56 pm

Bam being school principal now.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Republicans pretending to like transparency. Maybe at the kiddie pool; not in politics.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Whoa. Bitch slap Roberts. He looks like he’s sitting on hammeroids.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

[re=502817]Joy[/re]: GIGGLE. Commonsense whaaaa commonsense?

HipHopOpotamus January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

#earmark tag on twitter in t-minus 5..4…

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

haw haw! He made the Rethugs stand and applaud to putting their pork ears online! ha ha

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Why does Biden look like he went to Shit-Eating Grin University??

ivenson January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Supremes shaking their heads and muttering during a SOTU has to be a first. “I respect the separation of powers, but you done fell off”

SOTUisBORING January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

People wont go online to see earmark spending. We all know what the internet is for.

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm

Here comes the call for a Constitutionals Amemdment – oh shite, just a bill?
Go Big Barry or go home!

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Did Ruth Bader catch any of that?

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

McCain just galaxybursted when the Rainbow Unicorn said EARMARK REFORM…other Rebungicans and farm-state Cooter Democlaps, say “meh”…

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Hopey’s starting to talk to Congress and sounding like a very annoyed dad lecturing his kids right now. While true, he is seeming a tad…oh….dickish?

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

Oh, snap. Barry is being reasonable about cooperation. Which is why he will fail.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

School principal chewing out the damn faculty.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 9:58 pm

“obstruct every single bill just because they can”

Oh, snap!

Colander January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

“Neither party should obstruct every bill, just because they can”

I can’t hear you I can’t hear you I can’t hear you

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

[re=502809]imissopus[/re]: Yes. Moar, plz.

hunter.blatherer January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

I wish he went on longer on SCOTUS on campaign finance. He was just getting the the rousing applause when he switched subjects.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

[re=502838]AxmxZ[/re]:
I KNOW! WTF???????

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Ha Ha Barry is rubbing his dick on old people’s faces. And it’s as fun as I thought it would be.

Redhead January 27, 2010 at 9:59 pm

Did he just urge the politicians to run Wonkette out of business (urge them to stop creating embarrassing headlines)? Did I hear that right?

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

ooh! “Don’t run for the hills, you ball-less spineless Demtards!!” Nice.

CycloneArmageddon January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Oh. Iron Maiden reference. FUCK YEAH HOPEY

imissopus January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

It’s like being lectured by the coolest civics teacher ever.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

[re=502841]magic titty[/re]: Every graduate of Cheshire Smug College looks that way. Not his fault.

(smug being a neutral term)

tunamelt January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

[re=502826]Katydid[/re]: Yeah, mine have Ladies Love Smooth Barry and Angry Daddy Rahm, so… no. no choosing.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Also you democrats need to guy Lieberman like a Gefilte. Just saying.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

to the dems: We still have the largest majority in decades and people expect us to solve problems, not run for the hills.

Oh, double snap!

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Serve citizens, not ambitions. OK, I can has cheezburger if you’re serving…

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

“Of course, none of these good things will happen, until we all beat Lieberman to death, right here, right now, whilst the entire world watches – Nancy, hand me that cricket-bat…”

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

HY-OOOOO!

hunter.blatherer January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Apparently he knows that there are 59 democratic senators. But that’s only from 57 states.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:00 pm

Democrats are expected to solve problems — not run for the hills. Oh, and a serious slam on the Republicans — “just saying no to everything isn’t leadership — it’s politics.” Ouch.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Actually, I think obstructionism is EXACTLY what the Republicans think leadership is.

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Boener just turned extra orange at the thought of monthly meetings with the Preznit.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Principal B holding monthly meetings. Bring something for the group to share.

waitforsugar January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Why does Mitch McConnell keep smiling? Is he wearing vibrating panties?

assistant/atlas January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

[re=502789]doxastic[/re]: Unfortunately, Lindsey Graham simply does not have a straight face. There’s just the gay one.

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Barry is so dreamy I would do him if I was into black doodz.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

“we were sent here to serve our citizens, not our ambitions.” KICK IT BARRY.

Boehner looks like he’s been dipped in a vat of Hopey Carmel No. 10.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Barry: “Neither party should delay or obstruct every single bill, just because they can. I’M LOOKING AT ALL YALL MOTHERFUCKERS ON THE RIGHT!!!”

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:01 pm

[re=502859]CycloneArmageddon[/re]: Guitar Hero is big in the speech-writing room.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

[re=502857]Redhead[/re]: Thank goodness this is a WARBLOG.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

SCARY close up on Napolitano in powder blue. NOW can we have the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

No more zero-sum games, says Der Hoffnungundwandelkapitän, all programs will be decided by Nash Equilibrium solutions.

Hopey’s Beautiful Mind…

rocktonsammy January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

[re=502804]Lawndarts[/re]:
I’m taking my pants off now!

YAY!

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

[re=502859]CycloneArmageddon[/re]: Shoot, I missed it. Where did he mention that 666 is the number of the beast?

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

Shorter SOTU: Hey, fucknuts, this shit is real.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Oh, right, there’s a war or two out there.

ladymacbeth January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

i really REALLY like the purple power of the night.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

[re=502857]Redhead[/re]:

If they stop creating embarassing headlines, we’ll just start making them up. No problemo.

SOTUisBORING January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

prohibiting torture is good but what about prosecuting those who did.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

[re=502866]Bearbloke[/re]: OK, I’m drunk, but that made me really laugh hard and out loud.

Suds McKenzie January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

ooh, oooh, can we haz “Fabulous” soldiers now??

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:03 pm

WHAT ABOUT BLACKWATER???

hunter.blatherer January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

I AM A WAR PRESIDENT. Also, didn’t Bush use the women in Afghanistan?

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

“Partner” is not a verb.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

“Make no mistake…” drink

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

Get to the real talk, bro. The gay talk.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

“this war is ending and all of our troops are coming home.” Did he say that? Really?

proudgrampa January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

“It won’t mean jackshit by tomorrow, but it’s great.”

Araid you’re right, there, Jim.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

Not to ask the obvious, but is Jim gay for the white, naked Obama?

Joking–don’t hammer me. I think I’m way behind everyone. My computer is old, too.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:04 pm

All combat troops out of Iraq by the end of August. Nice — and everyone at TheFoxNation.com can go in there and take their place if they want to prove Dubya right.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Support our Troops. Bumper sticker SOTU

hunter.blatherer January 27, 2010 at 10:05 pm

All of our troops are coming home – one way or another.

Cookie Guggelman January 27, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Just thought “Look! Al Franken is there!”

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:05 pm

I’m scared of how DADT is going to fly with the crowd…He needs to bring out Ellen. People love her.

CycloneArmageddon January 27, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Like a lover who extends foreplay too long, Barry is starting to grind the gears.

Start handing out the SWAG and rap this fucker up, dude.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 10:06 pm

[re=502814]simetrias[/re]: Glenn Beck impression?

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:06 pm

Please, Michelle and Jill, come support me. I’m not military. I’m not a family. But please.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Maybe no DADT after all. Gonna make a turkey burger (librul burger)

ms_mcgee January 27, 2010 at 10:07 pm

He just said “Kennedy” and “Reagan” in the same sentence. Hawt.

OzoneTom January 27, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Like Israel?

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:07 pm

[re=502907]CycloneArmageddon[/re]: I want a Nancy Pelosi moveable mouth for my swag.

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Military brass stood to applaud reducing nuclear weapons, but not about leaving Afghanistan next year. Just sayin’. Job security worries apply everywhere.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

“I’ve embraced the vision of John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan” — which I can only imagine is a ranch on a shining hillside with several gorgeous palominos grazing, and a swimming pool in the back with half a dozen Playboy bunnies. Okay — I’m for that, too.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Barry’s going to get to the gays in the military about 1:10 into this thing. Even the Repubs are going to be all like, whatevs.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

It’s moo-slum, not muh-slum, barry. You know, Pah-kee-stahn and all that…

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

What if Lindsey Graham comes out during the DADT portion of the speech??

That should would be BOSS.

Suds McKenzie January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Pleeeease put the camera on Lindsey Graham when he talks about the new “Bear Army”

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:08 pm

Joe and Nancy shot death stares at someone stage right. Who?

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm

OK, we’ve got Haiti. DADT and we’re outta here.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Let’s face it y’all… after GeoWBush any mothierfucker that can talk in sentences and paragraphs is pretty amazing. /lowered expectations.

I mean, how many times has he correctly pronounced the word, “nuclear?”

nuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearnuclearIransux!

What was dumbass saying two yrs ago?
“I sometimes eat mah boogers…” Or some shit.

BMK January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm

“We would very much like to feed the poor, while simulteneously invading the crazies. Can we do this? Yes, we can”

S.Luggo January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm

[re=502719]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Tackle childhood gross ugly stupid fatness. Yeah, that will get votes.
Response from the big-boned:
http://www.amnation.com/vfr/Huckabee%20family.jpg

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:09 pm

Human dignity… DADT now.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 10:10 pm

[re=502907]CycloneArmageddon[/re]: The lover you speak of does not usually have a rebutting lover following them. Although I don’t know how things are done at your house…

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:10 pm

“This war is ending”.

Read: Hellfire missiles will still be “on station” and “hot” to blow your salwar kameez/thawb -clad bodies into the compenent building blocks of the universe, if you feel lucky, punk.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:10 pm

If I’m happily married is it wrong to lust after Hopey? Because I do. I do.

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:10 pm

OK get to the DADT. Talk about beating around the Bush

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Yay! FINALLY for TEH GAYZ and WIMMENZ!!!!!

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

GAY GAY GAY GAY MILITARY IS NOT CLAPPING! IS GRAHAM?

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Oooh. Unhappy republicans. Go gay!

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Yay! Gay!

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

Slam Dubya’s DOJ civil rights enforcement record — which was appalling. And end DADT. Lindsey Graham can finally enlist.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

DADT SUPERFUCK!

TRUCKNUTZ!!!!!!

NoWireHangers January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

DADT is a start, but we thought you were heading towards endorsing GAY MARRIAGE, Barry. One step at a time I suppose…

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 10:11 pm

[re=502847]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I don’t care WHO started it, I’M ending it! ::breaks Congress in half::

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Go Gays!

err, that’s it? Oh well. Go Gays! Go kill the foreigns for us!

ella January 27, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Fox’s bias could not be more obvious. Fox, CNN and MSNBC all look the same during shots of the chamber, but when the camera’s on Hopey, only Fox has it reduced/pulled back on the screen.

Fucktards.

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 10:12 pm

So you borders will now be patrolled by teh gheys? Fabulous!

simetrias January 27, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Wrap it up, dangitall. Gotta zzzz.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:12 pm

Every corner of the world, except Kenya.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Shout out to the gayz!!Yay! Fuck–my kid’s a lesbian I was hoping that would keep her out of the draft. Boo.

I, too, found Bearbloke’s Lieberwhine joke very funny.

NoWireHangers January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Nancy, stop the Botox. Stop the insanity.

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Teh gheys will be the neobuffalo solja of the 2010′s and beyond…

OzoneTom January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Whoa! I’m supposed to be meeting my responsibilities to my employer?

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

DADT B GON!

bjkeefe January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

[re=502915]bjkeefe[/re]: Damn. Wish they’d shown the brass when he said it was time to let Teh Ghey get to hold the Jesus rifles, too.

NoWireHangers January 27, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Lose faith? Did ever have any?

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

I just had 3 gay marriage abortions with Rush Limbaugh.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

The military guys are assholes for not stading up against DADT. They should know better than anyone that DADT sabotages shit in the ranks.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Will Rupaul be the closing performance since we’re all Manhattan gays now?

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Jesus, the rows of white faces are… really fucking terrifying.

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Yay slam on pundits. Suck on that Cokie Roberts

NoWireHangers January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

First Conan, now Barry asking me not to be cynical. God damn it. Well, I guess I can try. Hmm, maybe that was sarcasm. That’s still allowed, right?

jagorev January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

He’s going to ban cynicism!

Good luck in Gitmo, Wonkett!

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Orchestra swells in background…

imbeccable January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

barack obama is the new bill clinton of state of the unions. 3 hours more of speech plz!!!

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

[re=502950]NoWireHangers[/re]: That one time. Hope Day 2k8, remember??

snideinplainsight January 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

Can I just say, I think Hopey is hitting all the notes tonight? He’s in, as they say, fine fettle.

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 10:15 pm

Pimpin’ Changin’ ain’t easy, bitches…

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 10:15 pm

I bet bladders are bursting all over that chamber.

BMK January 27, 2010 at 10:15 pm

“I campaigned on the promise of change. I never promised to deliver it. Get your shit together, sheeple.”
Love, Barry.

imbeccable January 27, 2010 at 10:15 pm

why do i keep hearing obama’s fists and hands hitting the podium?!!?!? valerie jarrett come out here and fix the microphone!!!!

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 10:16 pm

Nobody’s gonna be awake for Bob McDonnell. Which, at this point, he’s probably grateful for.

imbeccable January 27, 2010 at 10:16 pm

did a glass of vodka just appear in front of joe the gaffer?

Suds McKenzie January 27, 2010 at 10:16 pm

[re=502947]OzoneTom[/re]: Word!, plus he just said something is “complicated”, … jeebus

Junior January 27, 2010 at 10:16 pm

He keeps talking about “decency.” I’m not sure Barry has been to much of America.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Okay hopey, sermon-time is over. Let the choir sing and let’s all go home.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

[re=502950]NoWireHangers[/re]: I was going to say that I never had any, but I am more cynical than most. Well, not most HERE, but most in general. Here, I’m a lightweight.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Liar, we have no “fundamental decency.” Let’s all go fuck over some injuns and do some jager bombs.

S.Luggo January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

“Security part. This is the only part rich people care about, because we’d all get nuked by the same bomb, right?”

Naw. They will have their yachts at sea so that the mushroom clouds from their plantation in Santo Domingo, jewel of the Caribbean.

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

No wonder there is so much Wönkettemus out there…

OzoneTom January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

USA! USA! USA!

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

“We are strong, we are resilient, we are Americans.”

That there is a bumper sticker

waitforsugar January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

[re=502945]NoWireHangers[/re]: I know right? She can’t move her face but I love watching Joe Biden because you can never tell if he is falling asleep, taking a shit or randomly bobbing his head.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

Which old white dude with a cold sore was just falling asleep on camera there?

4tehlulz January 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm

I haven’t lost faith in my penis.

Colander January 27, 2010 at 10:18 pm

I’d hit it.

nietzscheprojectile January 27, 2010 at 10:18 pm

Don’t quit me Barry!

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:18 pm

[re=502966]imbeccable[/re]:

I hear it, too.

thump

thump

thump

Like the telltale heart.

CycloneArmageddon January 27, 2010 at 10:18 pm

Cue “HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA”

teebob2000 January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Hey – he fell for my 8-year-old boy letter!!! Woo-hooo!!

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Less than overwhelming applause. Dipshits. He hit a home-run for me, but then I just want to do him.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I’d gay marry abort Booby Jindal if he’d come back for the retard-buttal,

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

I’ll keep tapping this lectern, up here on this fasces-bedecked dais with great vigor and GOD BLESS ‘MURICA!

teebob2000 January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Hey ZOMBIES — didja hear him?? “U-S-A!!! U-S-A!!!”

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm

Whoever is covering this on NBC says that all the Congresspeople were complete assholes during the speech, sarcastically laughing and pissing on the nice carpet and stuff.

clientnumber8 January 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Wish he had chosen to go with the discernible negro dialect for this one.

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Holder gets iced out…

give us a bob January 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm

I spent my allowance on redhots and stolen fireworks when I was 8years old. Does this mean the earthquake in Haiti was my fault?

Hutch January 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Why where the Repukes standing up randomly? What is this show of solidarity at times? Novel!

waitforsugar January 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Chris Matthews just called the speech seductive. I fucking love that guy (in 5 min. increments).

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:21 pm

“Proposes eliminating college debt after 10 years if graduates consider going into public service, and urges colleges to cut their own tuition. We CANNOT support this stuff strongly enough. Glad to hear it.”

Hey, I worked at least one job, sometimes two, and graduated with almost no debt and went into Federal service. Sort of like the parable of the fatted calf, no?

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 10:21 pm

[re=502944]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Thanks you, I’ll be here all afternoon – please, try the Whitebait fritters

schvitzatura January 27, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Crusty, crackasscracka Sergeant-at-Arms? GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 10:21 pm

According to both NBC and TPM, the Republicans (including members of the Supreme Court) were heckling most of the time, thus some of the snarkier comments from Obama. Those meetings with the Republicans will sure be fun.

AxmxZ January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

[re=502966]imbeccable[/re]: It’s good tho! It’s audio punctuation.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Fox finds this an incongruous speech. Fox should eat my shorts.

Hutch January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

[re=502996]clientnumber8[/re]: Oh, man, That’s a win.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

[re=502990]Joy[/re]: Duh.

Citizen Kitteh January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Who are those two guys running interference for Obama? Are they the oldest Secret Service agents or something?

JoeChicago January 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm

Chuck Grassley seems to have a nasty case of the Lip Herpes going tonight. Guy may have been hitting the Appalachian trail during the health care town halls.
Nothing riles an old white guy up like a chunky teabagger with no strings attached.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm

Ooh, the GOP response is being presented by the new governor of Virginia. I wonder if he’ll read excerpts from his master’s thesis?

smashtheduck January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm

Holy fuck, I’d rejoin but I’d have to lose the bong….oh well.

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm

HAHAHA, Cornyn’s response is that the president isn’t tuned in to what really matters to Americans–how we treat terror suspects!

Bearbloke January 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm

The NYT page is showing Hopey working the crowd…

If only NYT could get the video feed into the front page off the physical paper, they might save the industry!

CycloneArmageddon January 27, 2010 at 10:24 pm

“We truly love and appreciate you all. We mean that.”

Yeah, fuck you too, Newell.

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:25 pm

[re=502999]give us a bob[/re]: Not unless you sold your soul to the Devil. If you did, then yes. Totally your fault.

tunamelt January 27, 2010 at 10:26 pm

OMG are you guys watching this Chris Matthews? He forgot Obama was black?

S.Luggo January 27, 2010 at 10:26 pm

[re=502966]imbeccable[/re]: Polio-ridden FDR did that from a wheel chair while using his alumimun crutches and the mad barking of his savage, snarling Scottie Fala.

Try again, Barry.

freppish January 27, 2010 at 10:29 pm

what is the other flag on his pin?

Joy January 27, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Love you too Jim!

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 10:30 pm

JESUS FUCK!!!

Tweety just said: “I forgot he was black tonight for an hour. You know he’s gone a long way to become a leader of this country and past so much history in just a year or two, I mean it’s something we don’t even think about. I was watching and I said, wait a minute! He’s an African-American guy in front of a bunch of other white people, and there he is, president of the United States, and we’ve completely forgotten that tonight, completely forgotten it.”

Articulateness, Tweety does not have.

Carrie_Okie January 27, 2010 at 10:30 pm

Vagina is for lovers. Unles… you are Charlie Crist. Just saying also.

Jim89048 January 27, 2010 at 10:34 pm

Wait, Virginia has OIL? When can we invade Virginia???11!!

Barcode of the Apocalypse January 27, 2010 at 10:34 pm

He actually said that he wanted to double ESCORTS — a full employment policy for Young Republicans!

give us a bob January 27, 2010 at 10:34 pm

[re=503022]Joy[/re]: Well, the allowance wasn’t that big…

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 10:42 pm

I missed the guv’s response. Anything worthwhile? And where did they find those negroes to stand around and applaud?

notreallyhelping January 27, 2010 at 11:15 pm

References “separation of powers” and then bitchslaps the Supremes. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Holy Cow!! January 27, 2010 at 11:30 pm

As spokescow for all gays, “this year” has left us unimpressed.

Berkeley Bear January 27, 2010 at 11:54 pm

[re=502797]Jim Demintia[/re]: He didn’t say state unis. Unis as a whole set their bills based on the amount folks can take out in loans – and that was what I heard him talking about. 30k a year for a shitty 3rd rate law school, for examples. State unis did use the higher rates that privates were charging as an excuse to raise fees a few times (and I say that as a proud state university grad and employee), but I agree the eroding tax base/public funding sucks.

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