MEET YOUR CRIMINALS  1:57 pm January 27, 2010

Going Through The ‘Watergate Jr. Four:’ The One Who Wrote ‘The Penis Monologues’

by Jim Newell

The ACORN douche-pimp. The one who bones Scott Brown’s Daughter. And now we have the one who wrote an anti-feminist parody of The Vagina Monologues called The Penis Monologues, for his conservative George Washington University newspaper, THE PATRIOT. Let’s see what Stan Dai wrote, in The Penis Monologues!

Quoth “The Giant Coochie Snorcher That Could,” about a local Giant Coochie Snorcher lady.

“The Giant Coochie Snorcher That Could”

It all began when I moved into Crawford Hall… I had a bad feeling about coochie snorchers. In the past, they had been nothing but trouble–big trouble. But then one day, I walked out of my building and met my “neighbor,” Joan. Joan is a GIANT COOCHIE SNORCHER, a 5-foot-tall vagina with a black plastic wig on her head! After Joan blocked my path and gave me a palm card for the March for Women Who Aren’t Babies’ Lives, I couldn’t resist an invitation to her apartment– Marvin Center 417. She slipped into fancy lingerie and lo and behold, I “now worship Joan,” just as the placard around her “neck” said. If that’s what it takes to be a feminist, just to worship a 5-foot-tall vagina, I’m a guy…I am so there!

“My Angry Penis”

MY PENIS IS ANGRY!!!!!!! You want to know what happened to my penis? Joan happened to my penis! There I was, sleeping peacefully when Joan stormed in and dragged me out for “an educational program.” I thought was going to see Mr. Rogers! But nooooooo! It turned out to be the “Whine-gina Monologues!”

An afterword, or forward, or both:

What are these vaginas angry about? Tampons, thong underwear, and gynecologists. Shouldn’t feminists be more concerned with encouraging women to go to the gynecologist to prevent cervical, uterine, and breast cancer (which, of course, are the fault of evil repressive men)? Why must the only reference to the sanctity of motherhood be given to a lesbian couple? Can’t men be more than just sperm donors and rapists in a feminist’s world? Justice Blackmun doesn’t even get a shout-out! If feminists want to really make a difference, why don’t they get out and change the world, instead of sitting in basements writing a litany of complaints to depress the world.

God, someone buy this kid a prostitute and let him finally get it over with, right?

Is this the same Stan Dai arrested for trying to bug Mary Landrieu’s office? [Lindsey Beyerstein]
The Penis Monologues [TPM]

 
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{ 124 comments }

Tra January 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm

There isn’t enough sex in all the world to fix what’s wrong with that …

V572625694 January 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm

Look out James Joyce — this guy’s good!

Terry January 27, 2010 at 2:04 pm

So, what use is GW anyway? Before this yahoo, it mainly seemed to be an overly expensive finishing school for the children of wealthy Jewish-American and Arab families (oddly enough). Are they required to go to classes there or is the payment of each semester’s bill enough to keep a student in good standing there?

Prommie January 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

When teh fucktard conservatives attempt humor, especially satire, and even mere sarcasm, the results are not pretty. Its like when a little kid plays airplane by stretching his arms out and running around, turning this way and that, while making a “brrrrrrrr” sound, conservative fucktards trying to be funny are exactly as far from funny, as that little airplane kid is from being Captain of the Space Shuttle.

Paterlanger January 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Sorry, I must be in the wrong place. I saw the billing and thought I’d found a short film staring Greg Oden’s junk. Carry on.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

The grand irony is that the next ten year’s of this kids life is going to be a penis monologue.

memzilla January 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

[re=501874]V572625694[/re]: I believe you mean VaJayjaymes Joyce.

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2010 at 2:05 pm

An angry penis
Oppressed lonely but why?
Cause he is a dick

JMP January 27, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Those poor, poor men, getting oppressed by those awful feminists; why, it’s gotten so awful that only 7/9 of the Supreme Court justices are.

Someone who’s as afraid of vaginas as Stan here might want to look at the man in the closet before blaming feminists for everything.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Humor about sex? Why didn’t he stick to something he knows — I’ll suggest his oeuvre from jail be titled The Taint Monotones.

Joshua Norton January 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm

How come “the basement” is the default location for snarks about blogging? I live on the top floor and putting in a basement for my computer is pretty much out of the question.

PrairiePossum January 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm

His penis will have alot to say after he spends a few years serving as a prisoner’s little white bitch. He’s just lucky Joan didn’t beat his useless little penis with a hammer.

canadasteve January 27, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Nobody does paranoid and angry like the conservatards.

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Updated Haiku

Stan’s angry penis
Oppressed, lonely but why?
Cause Stan is a dick

cashaholic January 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm

Eww. [Formulaic apology for low snark quotient.]

JMP January 27, 2010 at 2:10 pm

[re=501883]Terry[/re]: It’s for would-be political kids who don’t get into Georgetown.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 2:11 pm

This is fucking hilarious. In a David Brent, not actually funny, sort of way.

Paterlanger January 27, 2010 at 2:11 pm

[re=501887]memzilla[/re]: Do they still give away “I-phones” here? ‘Cause I think you earned one.

rmontcal January 27, 2010 at 2:11 pm

…sponsored by Seimens.

YAY!

Gorillionaire January 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm

I just don’t understand why this “man” is so angry. A vagina with a nicely trimmed and neat bush is one of the great pleasures of being alive.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm

[re=501897]ManchuCandidate[/re]:

penis monologue?
here’s a penis dialogue:
Stan’s hand and his dick.

Ahem, note seven syllables in the 2nd line.

bhosp January 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

All mine ever says is “PUT ME IN THERE I WANT TO CUM IN THERE.” Over and over again.

the problem child January 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

“Shouldn’t feminists be more concerned with encouraging women to go to the gynecologist to prevent cervical, uterine, and breast cancer (which, of course, are the fault of evil repressive men)?”

Oh, he almost had a sensible point to make, but then he had to bugger it up.

Joshua Norton January 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

The people who think this is funny are the same ones who are upset because “Hank” was canceled.

Anonymous Office Zombie January 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Also from the Penis Monologues:

To be an insufferable dick or not to be an insufferable dick – that is the question.

I think we all know which way he went with that one.

These dudes are a comedy goldmine. I love it.

Gopherit January 27, 2010 at 2:20 pm

[re=501886]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: right. he thought he was getting facetime with penis before…..

Suds McKenzie January 27, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Needs More SIEMENS

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2010 at 2:22 pm

[re=501907]MzNicky[/re]:
I thought oppressed was 3.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 2:23 pm

[re=501884]Prommie[/re]: True, but eventually conservatives will create their own reality for humor, too, viz:

1. Conservative A tells knock-knock joke.
2. Conservative B twats joke to Redstate, which “reports” it as hysterical.
3. Beck/O’Rielly/Limbaugh/VanSustern report Redstate report.
4. Entry in Conservapedia, concluding with “Martin Luther King would have loved this joke.”
5. Interviews, book tour.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 2:25 pm

On another note, said Rosanne Ferruggia appears to be sorta cute. I wonder what’s wrong with her?

unprotoize January 27, 2010 at 2:25 pm

This could not get better.

give us a bob January 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm

[re=501905]rmontcal[/re]: [re=501919]ManchuCandidate[/re]: So should doubleclick.net consider marketing to the douchtard demographic, say with doubleprick.net?

Franklin Pierce & Pierce January 27, 2010 at 2:28 pm

He will have much time to explore his homoeroticism in federal prison.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 2:29 pm

[re=501919]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Oh sorry, my bad. I didn’t scan it right.

donner_froh January 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm

If feminists want to really make a difference, why don’t they get out and change the world, instead of sitting in basements writing a litany of complaints to depress the world.

Or why don’t they make an amateurish, sure to fail attempt to bug the office of United States Senator?

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Weird, because when feminists DO go out and change things, Angry Penises cry about how difficult everything is for them, because of the feminist changes, like insisting that vaginas make 67% of what penii do in the job market.

JMP January 27, 2010 at 2:30 pm

[re=501894]PrairiePossum[/re]: He’ll probably be happy in prison; there’s no five foot tall vaginas there, or even the normal kind.

[re=501912]the problem child[/re]: Considering how many of the anti-abortion zealots are trying to make sure girls don’t get the HPV vaccine, because they should face punishment if they ever the sex, his sarcastic comment is actually right on one of those diseases.

MzNicky January 27, 2010 at 2:31 pm

[re=501924]Crank Tango[/re]: Is she the Gary Coleman-ish creature in his photo profile? Or am I mixing my criminals up? I’m so confused I can’t even read haikus correctly anymore.

BlueStateLibtard January 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm

Sounds likes someone’s very very angry at his Mommy–oh, and all the girl’s who won’t have anything to do with him.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

[re=501936]MzNicky[/re]: LOL no she’s the supposed co-author of ” the penis monologues,” also known by its working title of “cock talk.”

AllHat January 27, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Grrr! A woman has had a some pop-cultural success talking about her vagina! This shall not stand!

skutre January 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm

Parody FAIL

Old Redneck January 27, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Stan Dai???? WTF nationality is this clown? Chinese? Vietnamese? Check his immigration status then send him back home where he can wiretap the Politburo phones and see how long he lasts!!! Sonofabitch needs a few years in a labor camp!!!!

Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm

[re=501913]Joshua Norton[/re]: Or that show on FOX, Red Eye with Greg Gutfield. You can literally hear comedy committing suicide in the midst of the show due to the fact the show tries to associate itself with it.

coolcatdaddy January 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm
Darkness January 27, 2010 at 2:47 pm

instead of sitting in basements writing a litany of complaints

And the Penis Monologues itself would be what class of discourse exactly? What is it with “conservatives” and self-awareness anyway? is this a brain chemical problem or a dropped on their head problem?

thefrontpage January 27, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Many, many and many of us readers today must question the very oddly and perhaps anti-Semitic reference to “wealthy Jewish-American” students who must somehow infiltrate George Washington University that was posted by a previous poster. First–what the holy hell is “Jewish-American?” What the hell is that? Jewish is not a nationality, it is a religion. There are Jews all across the world, in every country, just as there are Catholics, Protestants, Hindus, Buddhists and Wiccans all over the world. So in the future, to be fair, you, that odd poster, must be all-inclusive, and must also refer to Catholic-Americans, Protestant-Americans, Hindu-Americans, Hindi-Americans, Buddhist-Americans, Wiccan-Americans, and even Agnostic-Americans, Atheist-Americans and Satanist-Americans, too! While we’re at it: Lutheran-American, Baptist-American, Methodist-American and Evengelical-American, Morman-American, Seventh-Day-Adventist-American, and Jehovah’s-Witness-American must also be used. Second, there is no more greater number of “wealthy” people who happen to be of the Jewish faith and who happen to also be American at G.W. than there are anywhere else in the country. Additionally, G.W. happens to be a very good school in regards to numerous academic programs, and the school is recognized as such nationwide and internationally. In the future, if you don’t know anything about G.W., the Jewish faith, or people who happen to be Jewish and American, and if you happen to be anti-Semitic, please don’t comment.

Rajul January 27, 2010 at 2:54 pm

So this guy is a misogynist/aspiring spy? Like James Bond? I bet he cried when he got arrested.

Extemporanus January 27, 2010 at 2:56 pm

This was all just an elaborate publicity stunt to generate interest in the farewell tour of The Asshole Monologues, one of the longest running theatrical productions in New Orleans history.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 3:00 pm

[re=501900]JMP[/re]:

That’s very true. I’d forgotten that fact.

gjdodger January 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Penis Monologue = Cock Succor

Terry January 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]:

So, how far did the GW diploma take you? Based on that post, let’s hope you weren’t an English major.

JMP January 27, 2010 at 3:07 pm

[re=501936]MzNicky[/re]: Maybe showing that you can play with a black toddler is the new “some of my best friends are black”.

gjdodger January 27, 2010 at 3:07 pm

[re=501949]Old Redneck[/re]: I believe he’s a “penis mongoloid”

Extemporanus January 27, 2010 at 3:08 pm

[re=501911]bhosp[/re]: Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?

gurukalehuru January 27, 2010 at 3:09 pm

[re=501883]Terry[/re]: Hey, hang on! I’ve got a friend who graduated from GWU…oh, wait, wealthy, Jewish…check.

jetjaguar January 27, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Apparently, I’m an idiot – because I don’t understand any of that.

Capitol Hillbilly January 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm

He will use his penis to drill a tunnel to freedom.

FMA January 27, 2010 at 3:14 pm

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: Lighten up, Francis.

Ducksworthy January 27, 2010 at 3:18 pm

His obsession with gynecological health suggests that he is deeply disturbed… and also geh. No no. You can be both! But either way he was thinking about his mother when he wrote that part.

S.Luggo January 27, 2010 at 3:20 pm

The sequel after prison will be: “Stan Dai and the Angry Anus”. You’ll be on your feet during the entire performance.

gurukalehuru January 27, 2010 at 3:21 pm

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: Why are the Jews always so damned sensitive?

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 3:23 pm

[re=501874]V572625694[/re]: To be fair, he might actually be better than James Joyce.

Yeah I said it!

gurukalehuru January 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm

Angry Penis//Spy in Range

bhosp January 27, 2010 at 3:39 pm

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: Actually, he’s got GWU about right, clunky “Jewish-American” wording aside.

[re=501883]Terry[/re]: But shut up, I’m proud of my alma mater. Remember, we’re the institution that actively did not give L. Ron Hubbard a degree.

[re=502005]Extemporanus[/re]: WIN.

Paterlanger January 27, 2010 at 3:39 pm

News Flash. WAPO is correcting its original reporting on Watergate Jr. and now reports that the little rascals are only being charged with “entering the offices under false pretenses to tamper with the phone system” not the much juicier “wiretapping” charge we all orgasmed over. You knew that was too good to be true.

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: Good point.

HuddledMass January 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm

[re=501894]PrairiePossum[/re]: No, no Stan Dai is not white but rather Asian, of the pimply-twit sub-group that seems to afflict all the races of man.
See here — http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2010/01/the_penis_monologues_read_college_article_by_accus.php?ref=fpa

Dashboard_Buddha January 27, 2010 at 3:43 pm

[re=501888]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Awesome

GrouchoEngels January 27, 2010 at 3:47 pm

[re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: Modern-Major-General-Americans? (Kinda started to pick up a rhythm there).

Rhythm… er, um… um…

…”Rhythm method to penis monologue linkage” FAIL.

Harvey Birdman January 27, 2010 at 3:52 pm

The question is: is GW better or worse than American?

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 3:54 pm

[re=502061]HuddledMass[/re]: Looks a little like the cho dude that did VA tech. Eh, I’m just saying that. But he also was a shitty, angry writer, no?

Terry January 27, 2010 at 3:59 pm

[re=502054]bhosp[/re]:

Ok, if you all tossed out L. Ron Hubbard, you get a pass on a range of things. But couldn’t you all have encouraged him into a different field rather than science fiction writing? Imagine how less zany certain social circles would be if Hubbard had been, say, a dentist.

MOG January 27, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Terry: Yikes, getting a little offtrack???? I’m with thefrontpage – WTF???

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:03 pm

Penises cannot give monologues! They only have a little hole to talk with, and everything would sound like, “loo looo looo looo.”

The Church of Realism January 27, 2010 at 4:06 pm

I’ll take The Penis Mightier for $200, Alex.

Tommmcatt January 27, 2010 at 4:07 pm

[re=501886]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]:

More of a penis colloquy, I think.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 27, 2010 at 4:09 pm

I have a feeling he is going to meet a lot of angry penises in prison.

Dashboard_Buddha January 27, 2010 at 4:11 pm

“He is co-founder of GW’s Students Defending Democracy”

Defending democracy…really? When will he be joining the military? What’s that? Never? Ok.

Also, I was looking at the mug shots of the LA Four and they all looked like the nasally laughing-at-shit-that-isn’t-funny, Braying Fratboy asswipes I went to college with way back in the day.

Some things never change.

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm

Stan also writes: “Look, I’m no misogynist, I like women, just not crazy, screaming, vagina-obsessed ones! They scare me!”

He has a point. Vaginas ARE scary to men. The terrifyingly softness, so responsive to sweet caresses, so readily engorged at the mere promise of a lover’s touch, the all-powerful clitorus, when teased, stroked, licked, sucked, starts pulsating, pulsating, pulsating, greedily compelling a woman to spread her legs wide, sometimes using her fingers to spread open the moist folds of her labia to entice him into entering her warm, tight, dastardly vagina, and as he repeatedly thrusts inside her in a futile attempt to get away, she writhes and bucks, moans and gasps, using every trick in her female arsenal to hold captive his poor penis inside the hell that is her vagina, until she has sucked into her his very manhood, consumed his life force, drained him dry, leaving them both spent, satisfied and joyous, while strangely desiring another go at the evil dance that vaginas gleefully inflict on helpless men.

Dashboard_Buddha January 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=502111]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Apparently not. It sounds like they’re reducing the charges. Oh well.

torera January 27, 2010 at 4:16 pm

His mother must be so proud.

And thank you Dashboard_Buddha for hitting nail on head. So to speak.

JMP January 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=502082]Harvey Birdman[/re]: American is to GW as GW is to Georgetown.

[re=502095]Mojopo[/re]: Well, in prison he may be experiencing several penis dialogues.

Extemporanus January 27, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=502095]Mojopo[/re]: Actually, mine can belt out quite a tune. [NSFW!]

DirtyHarriett January 27, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: I need a cigarette after that….and I’m at work!

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:23 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: Got a smoke? WHOA

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:28 pm

If this kid had just talked to a vagina, maybe he wouldn’t have felt like he needed to wiretap old Mary.

FMA January 27, 2010 at 4:29 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: Exactly. We must preserve the purity and essence of our precious bodily fluids.

Tommmcatt January 27, 2010 at 4:29 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]:

Oh, Jesus. Gay dudes read this blog too, you know.

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:38 pm

[re=502125]JMP[/re]: Is that called Speaking In Penis? I’ve heard of snake handling…

Anyway, it does sound like this young man will be a quick study when it comes to the finer points of tossing salads in the pen.

If ever there was a time to post terrifying portraits of vagina all over Wonkette, I think now is good. Here’s one with teeth: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_RGX2lgFSrdM/SPZGycjcI9I/AAAAAAAAAbg/_kckkpXVBFk/s400/metforaem3.png

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:42 pm

[re=502130]Extemporanus[/re]: OMG, was that dick singing disco? Of course it was! Thanks!

Dashboard_Buddha January 27, 2010 at 4:42 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: I know how the guy feels. Look, I don’t have a thing against the retarded I like them, just not crazy, screaming, tax and teabag obsessed ones.! They scare me!

Mojopo January 27, 2010 at 4:43 pm

NSFW, either… This one is called, “There Is No God”
http://content.ytmnd.com/content/4/f/6/4f6b2f38233b1b0e8f4a850bb7694c2b.jpg

Dashboard_Buddha January 27, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=502163]Mojopo[/re]: Jesus H! Are the brown dangley things pseudopods designed to drag in the unsuspecting man?

Mr Blifil January 27, 2010 at 4:50 pm

The evidence points to him having been forced to fuck K-Lo.

teebob2000 January 27, 2010 at 4:51 pm

And who’s the 4th fuck? Flanagan or something, right? We taking bets on what his deal is yet? Any guesses??

Mr Blifil January 27, 2010 at 4:52 pm

Sorry but no conversation about Penis Monologues is complete without The Dickies “If Stewart Could Talk.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OpPaS2pm9s

Katydid January 27, 2010 at 4:52 pm

[re=502141]Tommmcatt[/re]: ::puts panties back on:: Now, what was your complaint? (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist!)

I’m sincerely sorry for exposing you to hetero sex. It’s bad enough we do it in private, do we have to flaunt it in public?

disgustedcitizen January 27, 2010 at 5:01 pm

I hope the little shit gets a “Penis Monologue” up his ass while he’s in prison.

gurukalehuru January 27, 2010 at 5:02 pm

[re=502095]Mojopo[/re]: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How can you breathe through that thing?

JMP January 27, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: Between the Brown images and this, Wonkette is looking more and more like a porn site every day. I need too need a smoke now.

As for being forced to worship a five-foot tall vagina, maybe Stan was thinking of something like this?
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/wong/cmovies/antman4.jpg
Granted, that’s a six-inch man and a normal-sized vagina; but the effect’s similar. However, Hank looks pretty happy there; while Stan thinks the experience (and vaginas in general) would be unpleasant.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=502179]teebob2000[/re]:

His father is the acting US attorney for the Western District of Louisiana. Landrieu just appointed a full time person to that position who is conspicuously NOT Flanagan the elder.

SmallPotatoes January 27, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Stan in a jumpsuit
Pound-me-in-the-ass prison
Show us your “Oh” face

ForTheTurnstiles January 27, 2010 at 5:38 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: Please comment more often. Please. Please.

thefrontpage January 27, 2010 at 5:44 pm

[re=502031]gurukalehuru[/re]: We’re not, but sensitity is good considering yet another anti-Semitic, stupid and ignorant remark–occurring on the 65h anniversary of the liberation of the Aushwitz concentration camp. Maybe if you lost your relatives to murderers in Germany, maybe you’d be a bit more sensitive, too. The point is: don’t be anti-Semitic, and don’t make stupid, ignorant anti-Semitic remarks here or anywhere. It’s not funny, it’s not snark, and it’s just dumb.

Allyson January 27, 2010 at 5:46 pm

“Coochie Snorcher”
Um, I have heard lots of slang terms for a vagina–some meant to be flattering, some intended to be insulting, but WTF is a coochie snorcher?
Perhaps I should be offended (his rant about feminists whining instead of changing the world is ridiculous since that is a perfect description of the FOX news crowd), but I (along with my coochie snorcher) am too busy ROTFLMAO…

Barrett808 January 27, 2010 at 6:04 pm

[re=502003]gjdodger[/re]: The one, true penis song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PiqCeLEmM

Barrett808 January 27, 2010 at 6:07 pm

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: I fapped.

ForTheTurnstiles January 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm

[re=502237]Allyson[/re]: I once endured a performance of the Vagina Monologues in an attempt to get laid.

Miserable failure, as my girlfriend was going through this creepy second-wave feminist thing that is guaranteed to kill hetero relationships.

The only thing I got from it was the term “coochie snorcher.”

Roger the Shrubber January 27, 2010 at 6:41 pm

My penis waxes rhapsodic about vaginas, but that’s just my penis.

dogscantlookup January 27, 2010 at 6:47 pm

[re=502237]Allyson[/re]: “Coochie Snorcher” maybe it’s slang for a Snorks vagina

SmallPotatoes January 27, 2010 at 6:48 pm

“Coochie snorcher” would be a good muppet name.

unprotoize January 27, 2010 at 6:56 pm

SURELY the long arm of the Wonkette (or recent former intern) has gotta have some experience going to school with one of these guys. I want some first-person story, as sordid as possible.

problemwithcaring January 27, 2010 at 7:24 pm

[re=501883]Terry[/re]: [re=501958]thefrontpage[/re]: I just finished a graduate program there and saw nothing wrong with the characterization. I guess I am a racist.

empirecookie January 27, 2010 at 7:29 pm

the comments on this post are the funniest I’ve seen in ages.

Pat Pending January 27, 2010 at 7:49 pm

[re=502156]Mojopo[/re]: This would be a fine time for Manchu Candidate to come up with a Lion King-inspired song parody entitled ‘Vagina Dentata’

Jennasaurus Rex January 27, 2010 at 7:52 pm

[re=501912]the problem child[/re]: I know, right? I feel that the Vagina Monologues contain far too much bitching about internals, and I thought he might be on his way to making a half-intelligent point, but then he totally veered back into conservative cuntface land. And I don’t think my gyno checks for breast cancer down there. Also.

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 7:59 pm

[re=502263]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Dude, you SO need to learn how to be an enabler. Vaginas are liberating, used correctly.

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 8:05 pm

[re=502235]thefrontpage[/re]: All very sad. Those of us without those relatives see half a million killed in Sudan and the international community yawning out, “oh, not white, not jewish, not 7 million . . . so, not a problem.”

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 8:10 pm

[re=502330]Darkness[/re]: LOSER you SO did not see katydid’s post in time. Jesus. I either need a shower or more booze.

detfrost1 January 27, 2010 at 9:04 pm

This guy sounds like an extremely repressed homosexual.

His next work will be the anus or the fist monologues.

artbot2000 January 28, 2010 at 5:37 am

[re=501897]ManchuCandidate[/re]:

It’s an identity crisis kind of thing: The Asshole that Thought it was a Penis.

In haiku:

Asshole, asshole, asshole.
Penis? Asshole, asshole,
asshole, asshole. Fixed.

Potater January 28, 2010 at 9:56 am

[re=502119]Katydid[/re]: My long established homosexuality has been called into question. I’ll have to tell my boyfriend, sugardaddy, rentboy, houseboy, and speedo-clad poolboy. How dare you break up our family!!

TubeCity January 28, 2010 at 10:49 am

Hey you guys, it’s so unfair to disrespect an anti-terrorism operations officer for the Department of Defense!!

Oh, “Department of Defense” refers to an academic department at a right-wing college?

Never mind.

godforbidowright January 30, 2010 at 7:01 pm

just buy the little pecker a flashlight for his birthday. its best he can really hope for…

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