STILL COKIE ROBERTS' FAULT  12:40 pm January 27, 2010

James O’Keefe Will Twitter Himself A Tunnel To Freedom!

by Jim Newell

That, and a bail bond.

On Tuesday at 4:40 p.m., O’Keefe, Dai and Basel were released from the jail and were waiting for a cab. Asked to comment, O’Keefe said only, “Veritas,” which is Latin for “truth.” O’Keefe’s biography on the blog site says he works at, although that site does not appear to be functioning.

O’Keefe spent most of the time in the men’s room off the jail’s lobby, then hustled to the cab when it arrived. As he ran into the back seat, he called out, “The truth shall set me free.”

“You know what, I’m gonna put that on my Twitter, right now…”

[NOLA, Twitter]

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coolcatdaddy January 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm

A video camera, a drag outfit and the intelligence of a flea does not make one a journalist.

Though it did seem to work for Glen Beck….

magic titty January 27, 2010 at 12:45 pm

“O’Keefe spent most of the time in the men’s room off the jail’s lobby”

Joke-writers, Activate!

Gopherit January 27, 2010 at 12:46 pm

So will $10K of bail, bitch.

SmutBoffin January 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

This is not…unexpected.

“Lessee, what’s the most hackneyed thing I could say to assert my innocence in a non-specific way…? Ah, yes. Fuck, better Twitter that shit, too. Malkin’s watching.”

rafflesinc January 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Gawker is reporting that Basel had a date set up for this week with Scott Brown’s daughter.

bureaucrap January 27, 2010 at 12:47 pm

He’s a journalist in the spirit of Tokyo Rose, Joseph Goebbels, Bill O’Reilly and (worst of all) Geraldo Rivera.

progressiveinga January 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Twittering himself a tunnel to freedom is easy. The twattering he’s going to get in the big house is gonna hurt. At first. Also.

Texan Bulldoggette January 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

[re=501781]magic titty[/re]: Where’s a nice splintery plunger when you need it?

An Outhouse January 27, 2010 at 12:49 pm

“The truth shall set me free.” to squeal like a pig.

Prommie January 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Isn’t he the dramatic dandy! Can you imagine the golden aura of “heroic resistance to the forces of evil” and “bold champion of TRUTH beset on all sides by enemies, yet undeterred” with which he thinks of himself and his activities? He is starring in his own epic, inside his head.

comicbookguy January 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Haaaaaaa hahahaha! The truth shall get you 10 years. Conservative legal funds shall set ye free. Don’t mix them up.

Munson Thurd January 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm

No, you’re not.
No, it won’t.

DoktorZoom January 27, 2010 at 12:51 pm


bureaucrap January 27, 2010 at 12:52 pm

[re=501781]magic titty[/re]: “Okay, I’m pretty sure Larry Craig said I’m supposed to tap the floor twice for bottom, thrice for top.”

Snarkalicious January 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

These kids are going to get SO MUCH ORAL from Michelle Bachman.

PrairiePossum January 27, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I’m sure there are a more than a few guys on death row who everyday cling to the belief that the truth will set them free.

SayItWithWookies January 27, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I am a journalist. The truth shall set me free.

Or at least give me a year of supervised probation.

give us a bob January 27, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=501789]progressiveinga[/re]: Because it worked great for the Iranians, it will work similarly great for O’Keefe.

Sweet Baby Cheeses January 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I recommend that O’Keefe tattoo PIMP on his forehead before he goes to jail, just to be safe. It can be his version of “we bad, that’s right, we bad”.

Escape Goat Nation January 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Someone this stupid and this self-important should have interrogators mouths watering. They can get little shits like this to say anything.

PsycGirl January 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

O’Keefe spent most of the time in the men’s room off the jail’s lobby, then hustled to the cab when it arrived.

Brave Sir Robin James is running away, running away…

Barrelhse January 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

O’Keefe has a face that’s begging to get pasted one.
Work shall set him free.

jetjaguar January 27, 2010 at 1:00 pm

There’s gold in them thar tweets.

AbstinenceOnly Ed January 27, 2010 at 1:02 pm

I hope he doesn’t choke to death on Siemens® there in prison!

southern mark smith January 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Sic semper journalists.

Barrelhse January 27, 2010 at 1:03 pm

[re=501794]Prommie[/re]: Nice take, Prommie.

The Church of Realism January 27, 2010 at 1:05 pm

Why does he spell A-S-S-H-O-L-E as J-O-U-R-N-A-L-I-S-T?

ManchuCandidate January 27, 2010 at 1:06 pm

The Douchesack, a QM Production, starring James O’Keefe as Pimp’n Jack, an innocent victim of black FBI justice, falsely arrested for the attempted bugging of Mary Landrieu, cursed by fate when an arrest freed him from the Wingnut Speaking Circuit; freed him to hide in lonely desperation, to change his identity, to toil at many jobs; freed him to search for a Kenyan Muslin Terrorist with a fake birf certificate and phone company ID he saw leave the scene of the buggery; freed him to run before the relentless pursuit of the ACORN poor darks obsessed with his capture.

Crank Tango January 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm

I just hope there is enough of an email trail to take down that shithead litefart.

jetjaguar January 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm

When will establishment media stop writing human interest stories and start doing their own legit investigative journalism?
3:36 PM Nov 17th, 2009 from TweetDeck

Celebrating ACORN lawsuit with a candlelight dinner on the Pacific Ocean.
10:16 PM Sep 23rd, 2009 from Tweetie

Their sword shall enter their own heart, and their bows shall be broken.
10:29 AM Sep 4th, 2009 from web

My uncle and grandfather are trapped in the ice storm in Kentucky with no power Where’s Obama Where’s FEMA. Is this reverse racism?
1:47 PM Feb 3rd, 2009 from web

is trying to figure out how to use this Twitter thing.
5:24 PM Oct 26th, 2008 from web

Godless Liberal January 27, 2010 at 1:09 pm

The truth is…that he really IS a telephone repairman?

TGY January 27, 2010 at 1:12 pm

[re=501823]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Well, he certainly is a bugger.

the problem child January 27, 2010 at 1:14 pm

“O’Keefe spent most of the time in the men’s room off the jail’s lobby, then hustled to the cab when it arrived.”

Yeah baby, you better learn to hustle that ass. Can’t hide in the men’s room in prison.

Extemporanus January 27, 2010 at 1:14 pm


Hooray For Anything January 27, 2010 at 1:19 pm

I think the bigger question is how long will it take before he gets a job at FOX? Maybe have him teamed up with Geraldo to do some investigative digging around or having him host a show with Ollie North and G. Gordon Liddy.

dijetlo January 27, 2010 at 1:20 pm

It’s obvious the boy feels like he’s committed no crime, most likely because the victim was a Democrat and therefor felonious by nature ergo he was investigating a crime, he’s an investigative journalist for crying out loud (aint you people listenin’?).
Everybody knows you don’t need a court order to wiretap phones anymore, not when you’re investigating a terrism crime, and since the real perpetrator was that Democrat on the Homeland Sec Committee, it was terrism related so…what’s the problem?

Now…how long will it take for Rush to think of that?

Ducksworthy January 27, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Bug, Bugged, Buggered.

sagebrush January 27, 2010 at 1:21 pm

ManchuCandidate: “…the scene of the buggery…”

Was the scene of the buggery in Mary Landrieu’s office or the men’s room at the jail?

Manos: Hands of Fate January 27, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Ok, the truth is you’re a twerpy white boy who got “famous” picking on an organization of poor people and is now looking at 10 years in federal prision for wiretapping a U.S. Senator’s office — which you still somehow still think was the ethically right thing to do.

Are you free yet asshole?

Escape Goat Nation January 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm

In this post 9/11 world we have to take all threats against the security of our nation serious.
First we have to assume that Bill O’Reilly directly funded and ordered O’Keefe to breach national security and wiretap a U.S. Senator.

Next we waterboard him until he admits O’Reilly funded and directed him.

“Who put you up to this?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say? Please Stop! I’m begging you!”
“Wrong answer pal”
“No wait, I’ll tell you anything!”
“Good, it was Bill O’Reilly wasn’t it?”
“Great, say it louder”
“It was Bill O’Reilly! He made me do it! Now will you please make it stop!?”
“Gentlemen, you heard him. It seems Bill O’Reilly is behind the whole thing. Round him up.”

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. It’s not torture. It’s just little drops or water on his head. It doesn’t even make a mark…right? The Geneva convention does not apply to homegrown terrorism. Who knows, maybe he knows of another plot organized by Bill O’Reilly that may kill 1,000s of Americans. I really don’t think we have any other choice but to waterboard him. American lives may be on the line. We need to err on the side of caution and stop pretending we live in a pre 9/11 world.

Ducksworthy January 27, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[re=501832]Extemporanus[/re]: IN VINO VERITWATS to you

Way Cool Larry January 27, 2010 at 1:36 pm

what a lying, pompous blowhard

Harvey Birdman January 27, 2010 at 1:37 pm

The depressing thing is that it’s impossible for someone this self-obsessed to get a comeuppance. At least there’s the federal sentencing guidelines…

Mr Blifil January 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm

When backed into a corner, the best course of action is to mock the sixties protest movement.

Radiotherapy January 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm

Next up on the lame slogan parade — 9/11 changed everything.

Anonymous Office Zombie January 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm

There is no group that can out-melodramatic Conservatards this side of theatre majors.

I would’t be the least bit surprised if O’Keefe shows up to court in a cape and kilt spouting off Braveheart lines with total sincerity.

edgydrifter January 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

I am an admiral. Justice is the wind in my sails.

WadISay January 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm

Somebody please carve Warheit macht Frei above his cell.

JMP January 27, 2010 at 1:43 pm

The truth shall set him free because he is a journalist; the First Amendment protection of freedom of the press means that anyone engaged in journalistic activity cannot be prosecuted for any so-called crimes committed in pursuit of the TRUTH. For example, Rush Limbaugh was just investigating the effects of recreational Oxycontin use on fat pompous racist blowhard douchebags; that’s why he never went to jail, not because he’s a rich well-connected white douchebag.

gjdodger January 27, 2010 at 1:56 pm

I’d be happy if he just spent one day in jail. As long as it’s in New Orleans.

sludjbunni January 27, 2010 at 1:57 pm

[re=501850]edgydrifter[/re]: …or a short jump from my yardarm. These guys watched way too many spy movies, probably took notes.

Not_So_Much January 27, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Um, not sure he knows what “journalist” means. Which will probably slow down his journalism “career”. Well, that and a decade of prison ass-rape…

brown_recluse January 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm

My Spidey sense tells me that “Veritas” was a code word to tell conservative college journalists to start their shredders and burn their hard drives.

Terry January 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm

[re=501828]Godless Liberal[/re]:

No, being a telephone repairman is an actual job. These dorks are unemployed.

GeneralLerong January 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm

[re=501841]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: If only. Maybe in one of those gazillion alternate universes, this is actually happening. I’m gonna hold that thought right there.

Tra January 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm

If he keeps talking like this, hopefully whatever judge he gets will put in a cell with that brain-eating guy.

The Cold Sea January 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm

I think Jimmy boy should start to prepare for the worst. He should get a butt plug and start to wear that thing in for future use.

cashaholic January 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Two amusing assertions, pre-fact-checking.

Don't Mess with Joe January 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm

No, James, you’re not a journalist. You’re glorified intern/lackie of Andrew Breitbart. Why can’t these free market-loving Young Republicans just get normal jobs?

Escape Goat Nation January 27, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Bill O’Reilly Talking Points Memo 1/27/10

“You are in the no spin zone.
As you all remember, your humble correspondent broke the news yesterday of some kid in Louisiana that was charged with allegedly listening into the most loony left Senator, Mary Landrieu’s office.
I believe this kid, and let’s face it, he is just a kid, O’Keefe, was also responsible for taking down the most leftest loony Radical organization of ACORN this Summer. He went into their offices and was able to sell Black-Market babies to them…or something like that. He exposed them and destroyed them.
Now we at the Factor do not participate in speculation or the blame-gaming that other Liberal controlled News organizations do…like MSNBC. Which as you recall is owned by GE that sell bombs to terrorists to use on our own troops. As a journalist it is my job, my moral responsibility to weigh the facts before passing judgment. So what we have here is some kid still wet behind the ears that may or may not have not been involved in a harmless prank. A youthful indiscretion at most. Big deal, I listen into my Wife’s phone calls all the time.
We at the Factor are not condoning this kid’s alleged actions, but let’s face it, at this point it just boils down to a he said she said issue. Nobody really knows anything and it’s likely nobody will, but we do have to ask this question: what is so wrong with some kid wanting to know if his elected Representative is on the up and up? Again, we do not condone this kid’s alleged charges, but don’t you as Tax Payers want to know if our Senators are honest?”

BaconTime January 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm

The truth shall set me free. That and my dad, the US attorney.

comicbookguy January 27, 2010 at 2:33 pm

[re=501871]Terry[/re]: Not to mention anyone with enough training to do real telephone repair would know you don’t need a hard hat inside an office building.

McDuff January 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm

He’s speaking Latin?! Jimmy, the tea-baggers don’t go for none o’ that furin talk or book learning, now ya hear?! Better stick to tweetin’ ’bout NASCAR if you’s down in Cajun-country.

sezme January 27, 2010 at 2:53 pm

“O’Keefe spent most of the time in the men’s room off the jail’s lobby…”

For the gay sex? Young man, there’ll be plenty of time for that after the conviction.

desertwind January 27, 2010 at 2:55 pm

Maybe this tweeted doucheness is part of a well thought out defense strategy.

I’m insane!

Or. I’m just a kid. Prank! Ha ha. Don’t take me seriously. Don’t charge we with a serious federal crime. I’m a kid! I’m a tool. I’m a fool.

BlueStateLibtard January 27, 2010 at 2:56 pm

[re=501890]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Priceless! Bill-O sure to be something very similar very soon.

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Oh Mr. Journalist. 9 billion in missing fucking cold hard taxpayer cash needs some investigation. I triple fucking double dare you to bug the offices of Xe to find out what happened to it.

What? An actual true story of taxpayer ripoff on a massive scale involving America Way destroying murdering raping thieves isn’t of interest? Fucking poser.

kentuckienne2 January 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Lemme just flip through my journalist handbook — where’s that chapter on wiretapping? Dang it, I know I saw that in there somewhere…

WarAndG January 27, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Darkness January 27, 2010 at 3:04 pm

I’ve been thinking about this just a bit more. Assuming they were following a similar MO as the last time, I gotta imagine they were only running the bug long enough to catch a particular call that one of their own was going to make, as that would be the only way to know for certain the timing. Maybe the guy in the car? Or yet a another member of the party? Breitbart? You know, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 3:09 pm

[re=501841]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: then the world would collapse upon itself form the collective weight of the karma produced by this.

ella January 27, 2010 at 3:10 pm

He’s a journalist like Dan Brown is a literary genius.

keepinitrealyo January 27, 2010 at 3:12 pm

[re=501890]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Jesus, I got chills.

JMP January 27, 2010 at 3:24 pm

[re=501999]Darkness[/re]: Maybe O’Reiley himself.

AnnieGetYourFun January 27, 2010 at 3:30 pm

O’Keefe III? The mark of a true douchebag is being proud of the fact that your parents (and grandparents) couldn’t come up with a new name for you, so just kept recycling the same one, over and over again.

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 3:31 pm

[re=502037]JMP[/re]: O’Reilly was going to call and ask Senator Landrieu if she used a vibrator. And could he come over and help her with that?

Oldskool January 27, 2010 at 3:42 pm

Ha, I can see him now, wimpering under his breath and walking the yard holding on to the inside-out pocket of a 250lb lifer who does nothing but lift weights. If there is a god in heaven…

comicbookguy January 27, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=501985]Darkness[/re]: Let’s hope his next bit of journalism involves exposing corruption among Columbian FARC guerrillas.

imissopus January 27, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=501864]sludjbunni[/re]: Spy movies, hell. They just watched Fletch over and over.

Georgia Burning January 27, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Between O’Keefe’s II and III and John Edwards there’s a strong argument for forced sterilization of white male Southern lawyers. No offense, Chelsea.

Escape Goat Nation January 27, 2010 at 3:48 pm

[re=502012]keepinitrealyo[/re]: You sir are a Patriot…a Patriot.
Remember to login into
Factor members today only receive 10% off all, “Patriot Granny” baby Doll Tee’s
And as always, all T-Shirts from are 100% printed in America!*

*However, T-Shirts are actually manufactured by sweatshop labor in Central America

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 27, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I am a journalist. The truth shall set me free.

First of all, given there is one obvious lie in that sentence, how can the truth set you free?

Second, doesn’t this sound like he is about to spill his guts to the Feds so that it is Breitbarts or Hannity’s sweet ass in prison, not his own?

lawrenceofthedesert January 27, 2010 at 4:27 pm

These dips always seem terminally smug, as if their self-perceived moral superiority makes them impervious to punishment. If the gavel comes down with hard time attached, they will do time in a state of shock that they aren’t being made into martyrs. The wingnuts talk jihad, but in fact operate with corporate-thin loyalty.

drpangloss January 27, 2010 at 5:12 pm

(cue sad sarcastic fail music) Sorry but you didn’t win our prize. Tell O’Mally about our fine consolation prizes!

Five Years in Federal AssRape Prison!

Why do I suddenly picture that movie?

betterDeadThanRed January 27, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Telephone company humor: I wonder if they will let the pretend telephone guy keep their butt sets when they go to prison?

doxastic January 27, 2010 at 7:10 pm

[re=501832]Extemporanus[/re]: Eloquent!

Darkness January 27, 2010 at 8:20 pm

[re=502065]comicbookguy[/re]: I would totally turn 180 and give him chops for doing so. But he’s just a bully. Picks only on the downtrodden who can’t fight back. Fuck him.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 8:25 pm

[re=501809]Sweet Baby Cheeses[/re]: “we bad, that’s right, we bad”.

Kudos for the movie reference.

DustBowlBlues January 27, 2010 at 8:34 pm

[re=501890]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Just a kid? Just a budding little fucking G. Gordon Liddy. Oh, right. He’s a radio guy and hero for these people. And Landrieu is left? Loony left? Shit–I feel sorry for her, Lincoln et. al in a way. Democrats hate them for not being real Democrats, but they still attacked as if they were Marx or Lenin.

Moral: Right wingers are crazy as loons.

Dean Booth January 27, 2010 at 11:07 pm

O’Keefe was lucky he got caught mid-crime. If given another 10 minutes, he would have glued himself to the chair, ala Kluzo.

zhubajie January 28, 2010 at 7:33 am

[re=501862]gjdodger[/re]: Angola.

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