Lincoln haz a sad.Salt Lake County Republicans have cravenly thrown ACORN pimp James O’Keefe under the bus following his arrest on federal charges of hanky-panky. These folks were going to have him deliver the keynote address at their annual Lincoln Day fundraiser, but now they have let a dumb little felony accusation get in the way! Maybe their replacement speaker can be Ted Stevens or Gordon Liddy or some other Republican who has gone that extra mile and become an officially convicted felon.

As of Tuesday night, the party’s Web site,, still advertised O’Keefe as the guest speaker for the Feb. 4 Lincoln Day Dinner. His topic was to be “his national exposé of ACORN’s unethical behavior, his changes in Congress and [how he will] inspire our Party’s passion for a grassroots comeback.”

Now the Salt Lake County GOP will have to settle for Newt Gingrich in a fake walrus mustache and a g-string, rolling around in a kiddie pool and singing “Comic Strip.”

Salt Lake County GOP cancels keynote address after New Orleans arrest

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  1. There’s still time to get Jack Abramoff. Or Duke Cunningham. Or Scooter Libby. And Jon Stewart said John Yoo was “charming,” so when he’s finally indicted — well, he’s gonna be put away for a looong time, so they might want to hold off on him.

  2. Damn it really sucks to be a “plumba”
    A real “plumba” ass cracka always leans right
    A real “plumba” ass cracka “never” bugs fucking Demrats
    Cause real “plumba” ass cracka don’t GET CAUGHT
    And cracka always got a down low
    Showing all his boys how we bugged ’em,
    But real “plumba” ass crackas don’t talk jive
    Cause real “plumba” ass crackas just fuck Demrats
    And everything’s socialism in the mind of a plumba
    Cause “plumba” ass crackas think white
    Up 3-65 a yo 24-7
    Cause real “Plumba” ass cracka’s don’t fuck up
    And all I gotta say to you
    Wanna be, gonna be, cock-sucking, ass fucking, pranksters
    Is when the stupid doubles down
    what the fuck you going to do?
    Damn it really sucks to be a “plumba”

  3. clearly the Salt Lake County Republicans are gutless RINOs. FELONIES DON’T COUNT WHEN THEY ARE DONE BY CONSERVATIVES!!!
    geeze, you have to say it over and over …

  4. What I love is how the county GOP chair guy notes that O’Keefe “doesn’t necessarily represent the Republican Party.” ha ha ha! Oh come on, GOP chair guy! SURE he does! haw haw haw!

  5. Well, how could they suspect the douche would go ahead and do something illegal? Even though he’s already facing charges for his ACORN “sting” in which he was already using tactics right out of Nixon’s playbook.

  6. Wall Street is shit, health care is shit, war on terror is shit, housing market is shit, job loss is shit and your keynote is America’s Undercover Douche Pimp who is going to talk to your base about how white America is being gang raped in the Acornholio by inner-city welfare queens.

    Fuck! When will the Republican Party just die and blow away.

  7. How could they rush to judgement like this? Don’t they know that ACORNpimp is Innocent Until Proven Guilty. INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY

    Not those ACORN homos, though- there’s no reason we’d ever need anything more than a heavily edited youtube to know they totally deserve some punishment that’s totally disproportionate to the half-imagined crime.

  8. On 1st glance, I read their web address as I think that is actually appropriate.[re=501717]JMP[/re]: Of course they do. Good Republicans get caught all the time, but usually it’s fucking mules, or underage males.

  9. We have an America-destroying trend toward aristocracy here. Bushie Jr. was the bellwether. He acted like an asshole once in power because he actually believed he deserved his unearned, inherited position. That makes for a poor public servant. O’Keefe’s lawyer may be total honest when he says his client didn’t mean to break the law. He doesn’t need to know the law, since it doesn’t apply to him. Why? Just more aristocratic brats who deserve everything simply for breathing. And it so irks them that someone else might get justice or, horror of horror,s a correct tax return filed, that they have to fuck over the people at the absolute bottom of the heap to make themselves feel bigger, and even more blessed by fate.

  10. [re=501722]bitchincamaro[/re]: Well, his stupid, heavily edited stunt did inspire the cowardly Dems to attempt to defund ACORN, so there’s that. Maybe his delusions of grandeur include believing he’s a Congressman.

    [re=501725]TubeCity[/re]: The kid’s from a rich family, silly; they don’t join the military, even if there’s a draft.

  11. Uh-Oh…Andy Brightfart…”confessed that he pays him — while at the same time arguing he has “nothing to do with” what he does.”

    Nothing to see here. people…move along…

  12. [re=501732]dijetlo[/re]: Haven’t you ever had one of those jobs where your employer pays you to do whatever you want, without any directions or supervision? They’re all over the place.

  13. “confessed that he pays him — while at the same time arguing he has “nothing to do with” what he does.”

    See? I’ve been trying to convince my boss that that was the right way to do things for years. Just mail me my check and I’ll do work stuff when the mood strikes me. I promise.

  14. The problem is that O’Keefe didn’t commit a BIG ENOUGH felony, and the affidavit says he sang like a canary once caught. Liddy had an aura of violence about him, was willing to commit arson on the President’s orders, and never ratted out his pals. The Watergate burglars didn’t show up at Larry O’Brien’s office while it was open — they committed an actual burglary — and they didn’t sing either. Ollie North ran guns, so you know his actions at least got some brown people killed — a sure fire winner with the Repub set — and while he did sing, he did tell Congress to go fuck themselves on national TV while in full Marine uniform.

    So, O’Keefe, baby, step up and poke a prison guard’s eye out with your thumb, kick the DA in the nuts and shout “Obama set me up,” or at least commit a real burglary next time out if you want that Fox News gig or your own radio show. Or, if real crime scares you, just get caught with a hooker while wearing a diaper — guaranteed speaking curcuit income for years!

  15. Deep Throat: What’s the topic for tonight?

    Woodward: Ratfucking.

    Deep Throat: In my day, it was simply called the double cross. I believe the CIA refers to it as Mindfuck. In our context, it simply means infiltration of the Democrats.

  16. Why so serious?? A conviction is a Ph.D to a Republican. After you graduate the C-Street boys Ensign, Sanford, etc take you on a celebration trip to the Dominican Republic for some good Christian underaged sexxing.

  17. [re=501711]MzNicky[/re]: Of course O’Keefe doesn’t represent the GOP. That’s why the Salt Lake County GOP is letting him speak at a major fundraiser, because he is so different from them.

  18. [re=501746]S.Luggo[/re]: I have a feeling that once they explain to young O’Keefe that his career options have narrowed to spending the next twenty years as the “shower bitch of cell block ‘F'”, the stiff on the slab at the prison mortuary or “witness for the prosecution”, we’ll get that opportunity.

    On a related note…why doesn’t Wonkette have Reilly bug David Vitters phone? We have to close the “journalism as a felony” gap or we’ll never win the blogwar!

  19. If I were Democratic congressional leaders, I would put that Republican-sponsored bill honoring li’l felon O’K up for an immediate vote. Not a voice vote, either.

  20. “We’re disappointed,” he said of O’Keefe’s arrest on felony charges. “He doesn’t necessarily represent the Republican Party.”

    Hahahahaha! “Doesn’t necessarily”? Even he’s not sure. Fucking cowards! Embrace your hypocrisy!

  21. [re=501763]comicbookguy[/re]:
    If I were Democratic congressional leaders, I would put that Republican-sponsored bill honoring li’l felon O’K up for an immediate vote. Not a voice vote, either.

    I have been saying the same thing.

  22. [re=501767]glamourdammerung[/re]: Actually, I forgot to add:

    Invite CSPAN since the GOP has been crying so much about everything “being done in secret”.

  23. So when he goes to jail and I send his cellmates pictures of him, should I photoshop his head on male or female bodies? I’d like for him to be raped in the most aggressive matter.

  24. [re=501725]TubeCity[/re]: Yes, and with waaaaaay more felony convictions than a little old conspiracy to wiretap. Also possibly some real live pimps.

  25. [re=501769]OReillysVibrator[/re]: Hmm come to think of it, maybe that’s why they filmed this ‘buggery’, so to speak in the first place. Something about the prison lifestyle that really appeals to these young conservative activists!

  26. I’m just in this thread because I’m tired of all the Scott Brown pictures (and I’m eating lunch).

    Oh, and Dear Editors, can we again mock that (supposedly liberal) Maureen Dowd for her Scott Brown mash note/NYT column? That woman – why do they print anything she writes?

  27. You know, all we know is the initial surface story. Who else has this guy already bugged? What else has he done (besides an edited video with dubbed audio of portions of one person’s bored tolerance of his transparent bullshit)? What is their real purpose, and who is funding them and enabling them?

    Senator Landrieu is on the Homeland Security Committee. Was this an initial step in a false flag incident? Watergate was a third-rate burglary, until it was investigated.

    The ties to high-ups in the GOP here may be direct. This guy was already a GOP All-Star, feted on Fox News and in a proposed Congressional resolution. And getting paid…

    I myself think O’Keefe was looking for whether Howard Hughes had revealed to Mary Landrieu his bribes of Nixon that made Nixon’s career. Either that, or the phone number of a good call girl ring.

  28. [re=501767]glamourdammerung[/re]: Maybe tack on an amendment supporting the rape of government contractors in cargo containers? Lots of Republican votes there.

  29. [re=501779]gurukalehuru[/re]: The dirt is big mouthfuls of Wing-nut pipeline credentials.

    Could Wonkette establish a foundation to give us serious-sounding items for our resumes, please?
    I mean, better-sounding credentials than “French Club, junior and senior years.” Can I please, please be a Fellow in Freedom, for the Foundation of Freedom and Tax Cuts, and also Deputy Director of Anti-Terrorism Operations for the Institution of the United States of America Forever and Ever Amen?

  30. [re=501778]TubeCity[/re]:
    Senator Landrieu is on the Homeland Security Committee.

    Okay, that does it. Turrist! Turrist! Waterboard him at Gitmo and stuff!

  31. [re=501760]S.Luggo[/re]: No, no, no…it’s innocent until proven guilty if you’re a conservative Republican,not one of those embarrassing RINOs

  32. Man, I love Serge Gainsbourg and I love comic strips, but I’ve always hated that “Comic Strip” song. Combining that with something I hate as much as Newt Gingrich doesn’t, as I might suspect, cancel out all the suck. The Speedo doesn’t help, either.

    I still like “Le poinçonneur des Lilas,” which is a much better Gainsbourg song. That title translates into “The Ballad of Michael Steele.”

  33. why doesn’t Wonkette have Reilly bug David Vitters phone?

    That is such a cool idea that I almost had an orgasm thinking about it! YES!!! Make Reilly do it and then post his adventures on Wonkette. We won’t tell anyone. Really. Reilly.

  34. [re=501837]comicbookguy[/re]: Good Lord No!

    Reilly, if your reading this, you need to write ” I work Joe Leiberman” on the elastic of your underwear, in case the police blow your head off during the arrest or Sen Vitter catches you and decides to butt rape you as punishment.

    Good luck, godspeed, and whatever they do to you, you’ve never heard of Wonkette…
    PS. He Probably wont ass rape you, but you might want to bring a depends along on the caper, just in case…couldn’t hurt…
    Vio con dios, Amigo.

  35. [re=501758]El Pinche[/re]: Did you overdo it this time? He just needed one tear (like that Native American in the littering commercial) and maybe a Blingee $ necklace. Then again, perhaps you were State-of-the-Union inspired and our editors will use your work this evening. I think the speech would be much more popular if Obama appeared as you show him.

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