Best News Of 2010: ACORN Douche-Pimp Arrested For Wiretapping Conspiracy!

  sucker sucker sucker

All aboard the ass-rape train!FINALLY. The same pasty biotch who did Andrew Breitbart’s bidding to entrap ACORN in some minor prank that would get Congress to immediately revoke its entire funding… which was completely successful… has been arrested by the FBI for TRYING TO WIRETAP A SENATOR’S OFFICE. Cannot wait to hear the conservative spin on this one. (Perhaps he is really a liberal? Let’s just call him a “liberal” from now on…)

Hahahhahahahahahahha:

The FBI, alleging a plot to wiretap Democratic Sen. Mary Landrieu’s office in downtown New Orleans, arrested four people Monday, including James O’Keefe, a conservative filmmaker whose undercover videos at ACORN field offices severely damaged the advocacy group’s credibility.

FBI Special Agent Steven Rayes alleges that O’Keefe aided and abetted two others, Joseph Basel and Robert Flanagan, who dressed up as employees of a telephone company and attempted to interfere with the office’s telephone system.

A fourth person, Stan Dai, was accused of aiding and abetting Basel and Flanagan. All four were charged with entering fedral property under false pretenses with the intent of committing a felony.

Then again, all we really know now is that the FBI is 100% ACORN-staffed, which we knew already, but still… uh… the poor black people started it!

UPDATE: Commenters watch cable news so we don’t have to! “According to MSNBC, Flanagan is the son of the attorney general for the western part of the state. So, this is very, very interesting (if MSNBC is right).” When have they ever been wrong!

ACORN gotcha man among four arrested for attempting to bug Mary Landrieu’s office [NOLA]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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114 comments

  1. hockeymom

    According to MSNBC, Flanagan is the son of the attorney general for the western part of the state.
    So, this is very, very interesting (if MSNBC is right).

  2. SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    If Breibart put ‘em up to it, he’s on the hook too. How long do you suppose it’ll take for O’Keefe to cut a deal?

  3. Snarkalicious

    The humanitarian thing to do would be to send O’Keefe a summer squash and 3 quarts of lube to get himself ready for what’s to come.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Looks like James is going to find out what it’s like to be on the other end of the prostitute/pimp relationship.

  5. Ducksworthy

    [re=501281]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Besides Flanagan is the son of the US District Attorney for Western Louisiana and he told them his dad said it was OK.

  6. vladster

    Oh, fuckstick o’keefe is a “film maker” now is he? All those po’black dudes in the fed pen will love getting him on the casting couch.

  7. Kodos

    Well, that’s what happens when you give O’Keefe DVDs of the 1960s Mission Impossible series for Christmas. Wonder which one got to be Paris, the master of disguise?

  8. comicbookguy

    They should have gone to the local ACORN office to ask for help with wiretapping. Woulda been a two-fer!

  9. Norbert

    The spin on this plainly illegal act? He’s a patriot and a hero. Obvsly. Hell, Oliver North parlayed his massive crimes into a gig on the wingnut lecture circuit gravy train. Constitution, shmonstitution. Republics for Law and Order!

  10. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Did he really dress like that when going to ACORN offices? No wonder people played along; they were afraid the rotted corpse of Allen Funt was going to show up and tell them they were on “Candid Camera”, and then eat their brains.

  11. JMP

    Let’s go easy on the moron; him and his buddies were just trying to get started with their Richard Nixon tribute band, although they probably shouldn’t have jumped right in to the hardest bit, maybe warmed up with talking about their dogs to distract from bribery investigations.

    [re=501281]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: You got the phrasing wrong; it should be “if a conservative does it, then it is not illegal”.

  12. J. Robert Oppenheiner

    “It was poor judgment,” Robert Flanagan’s lawyer, Garrison Jordan, said in a brief interview outside the courthouse. “I don’t think there was any intent or motive to commit a crime.”

    Poor judgement is peeing off a balcony. Wiretapping a Senator’s office, not so much.

  13. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=501312]JMP[/re]: Thanks. That is exactly what I meant to say. And that is exactly the reference I was aiming for.

  14. JMP

    [re=501311]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Yep; watching just part of the video, it’s obvious that anyone who thinks the ACORN folks actually believed him instead of just playing along would have to be a total moron. That, or disingenuously lying in order to hurt a political group they don’t like.

  15. imissopus

    [re=501316]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: That’s like saying “I didn’t have any intent to commit the crime of running someone over with my car, it was just bad judgment on my part to drive drunk.”

  16. El Pinche

    [re=501286]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: This is might be good news for Briebart.
    Two words. Prison sex.

  17. qwerty42

    from the earlier thread:
    oh, the joy:
    The four men appeared in federal magistrate court this afternoon before U.S. Magistrate Judge Louis Moore wearing red inmate jumpstuits from St. Bernard Parish Prison, where they are being held. Moore is allowing the men to be released on $10,000 bond.

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *whew* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

    dumbasses. St Bernard parish lockup is probably a fun place. Laissez le bon temps rouler.

    Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/413371/magical-budget-cutting-commission-falls-in-vote#comments#ixzz0dkytylcC

  18. Allyson

    From the NOLA article:
    “…the staffer, referred to only as Witness 1 in the affadavit, observed O’Keefe positioning his cell phone in his hand to videotape the operation. O’Keefe later admitted to agents that he recorded the event.”
    I hope this ends up on YouTube–I am dying to see the ineptitude. Meanwhile, LMFAO…

  19. JMP

    [re=501316]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: He didn’t mean to wiretap the office, though; it was just a misunderstanding. Sort of like that time Oliver North accidentally sold weapons to the Iranians; or when Mark Sanford slipped and found his penis in his mistress’s vagina.

  20. widestanceromancer

    Love the alt-text, but with all due respects, I’m sure there will be a face-rape train, too. Who’d want to miss his expression?

  21. wilbro

    What’s up with St. Bernard Parish Prison. Hale Boggs is in Orleans Parish. Really, not far at all from their prank site.

    If he was a real filmmaker, they’d have taken his posse to Orleans Parish Prison. Just like Jim Jarmusch in Down By Law.

  22. PrairiePossum

    Have a big helping of Karma Jimmy. I recommend you wear that pimp outfit to prison. I’m sure the inmates would admire your fashion sense.

  23. JMP

    [re=501329]qwerty42[/re]: That’s disappointing; the judge should make O’Keefe go to jail in his fake pimp costume.

    [re=501330]Allyson[/re]: Damn, this guy may have managed to make the actual Watergate burglars (some of whom were also involved in the comically inept Bay of Pigs invasion) appear competent by comparison.

  24. Gopherit

    I am glad this asshole is getting crucified, but seriously. Who looked at him, dress like that, and said, “Fuck yeah. That’s a pimp.”?

  25. cosmicboy

    I’m sure Jimmy just put on fake porn ‘stache to sneak in.

    Have fun at the federal “pound-you-in-the-ass” prison.

  26. Gopherit

    [re=501296]jodyleek[/re]: Yeah. This ought to be fucking awesome. I hope they roll over on dick armey. There’s a man who could benefit from some prison sex.

  27. AnSnarkist

    [re=501355]cosmicboy[/re]: Why would they go there? I thought you only went there if you laundered money.

  28. Ninong

    Yes, Flanagan is the son of the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana. The former Bush-appointed U.S. Attorney resigned last week and President Obama appointed Stephanie Finley as the new U.S. Attorney but she will have to be confirmed by the Senate before she takes over. In the meantime, Bushies are in charge of that office.

    So the U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Louisiana has the pleasure of charging the son of the acting U.S. Attorney for the Western District of Louisiana with playing dress-up as a telephone company repairman in an attempt to tap phones of a United States senator on FEDERAL property. This should be interesting. I wonder how FOX News will report this, if at all.

  29. Oldskool

    He should be allowed to film himself being pounded in prison. That docu-drama would bring Micheal Moore kind of money.

  30. V572625694

    [re=501284]hockeymom[/re]: Word-nerd alert: “…attorney-general for the western part of the state…” Wouldn’t that person be the attorney-specific? How can Lousy-anna have more than one AG? Maybe there’s more crime than one AG can not fight.

  31. EdFlinstone

    Well shit, this kinda makes wanna get arrested down there myself, anybody got a really, really thick broom handle I can borrow? Thats going to be one long motherfucking line ready to tap that skinny ass. Im sure Orielly and Hannity will lead with this story……in another universe.

  32. Bearbloke

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *whew* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *oh god, that’s rich!* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…

    Good morning, Wonkette! I love to ‘ave a laff, and share ‘em. So I went over to see if our friends at RedHate.com want to share a laff with us, and they seem to be strangely silent right now – they cashes seems to indicate that there was commentary at some point in the past, but thaose4 comments have been scrubbed from the face of RedHate… I wonder why?

  33. El Pinche

    [re=501374]Ninong[/re]: O’Queef is considered a “real journalist” among the retarded, if you read the redstates and the twatters.

  34. betterDeadThanRed

    From the NY Daily News: “Expect a First Amendment argument out of the defense. Now stop snickering!”

  35. Dashboard_Buddha

    I have an off topic question. Did that assface really walk into an Acorn office dressed like that? That can’t be true, can it? I mean, seriously…I have all of the street cred of a…well, a white guy from northern New England and if some rodeo clown walked into my office dressed like that, I would instantly know if was a prank. How could streetwise Acorners have missed that? Are they that stupid?

  36. Gopherit

    [re=501397]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: Don’t fuck with Verizon. They’ll send their enforcers into Federal Prison just to assfuck you for a missed payment. These boys…..they’re in big trouble.

  37. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=501385]Bearbloke[/re]: HAHAHAHA. Oh RedState, just because you try your level best to make this shit magically disappear doesn’t mean that it will.

  38. ThisIsNotAnAvatar

    I’ve been tapping Sister Mary Bono Mack’s office for weeks and I still don’t have the dirt on ACORN.

  39. slappypaddy

    from the AP wire service report: ‘Eddie Castaing, who represented O’Keefe, Dai and Basel, said he had no details on the allegations. “We are just grateful that they were not detained … and they can go home to their families,” he said.’

    “and they can go home to their families,” with whom they have every intention of spending more time.

  40. doxastic

    And just when he was starting his Village People cycle.
    That visit to the reservation planned in March was going to be a blockbuster…

  41. Pithaughn

    “Film maker” ha! He is to film maker as rice cakes are to food. You could eat them, but don’t expect to be satisfied, or believe that you actually ate some food.

  42. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=501435]Radiotherapy[/re]: True. I would say they’ve mastered the art of doublethink, but I doubt any of them have actually read 1984.

  43. bluevelvetelvis

    Pimpin’ ain’t easy.

    I’m glad to see that breaking into Democrats offices and trying to wiretap them prior to an election continues to be the way to get ahead in conservative circles.

    G. Gordon Liddy, sage elder of new media and breakthrough investigative tactics, would be so proud.

  44. wildturtlelove

    [re=501288]Snarkalicious[/re]: Heavens, a wintry Acorn Squash would be much more appetizing. With brown sugar and LOTS of butter.

  45. glamourdammerung

    I like how one of the future felons is the son of an official Obama replaced (assuming the GOP ever stops obstructing and gives an up or down vote).

  46. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=501319]The Church of Realism[/re]: That could well mean they were just looking to shoot a porno. Same prop-closet for that as political… SABOTAGE!

  47. DustBowlBlues

    G**damn. Something happy happens in the fucking news and I can’t check wonkette’s “twat” on it immediately, or whatever that was?

    Most pressing question: Will this stall the Republics’ attempts to get the aryan looking one the Medal of Freedom for exposing that dangerous ACORN pimp-housing conspiracy?

  48. O'

    hahahahahahahaha I just red redstate…or should I say “bloody colon”, this is hilarious, the defense of the man in whose body I reside and will now become bloody and bruised (black guys have much larger dongs than breitbart…ut oh)

    From the ever faitful in his nerd-love, Putter had this to say:
    Flanagan does not appear to be a political appointee. He was not the top dog in that region: http://tinyurl.com/yjjfb7p He looks more like a career prosecutor: http://tinyurl.com/ycptwty – There is no way his kid is this stupid. I suspect that O’Keefe planned for this possibility. O’Keefe and associates have been playing the MSM like a fiddle for a while. There is no way O’Keefe sought out Flanagan. What are the odds? It had to be the reverse. This has nothing to do with wiretapping.

    Chemical Sam’s defense of his bigoted moron/nerd love took a different tract from simple denial of logic to omission of guilt:

    Any chance they got baited into trying something like this, because someone “tipped them off” about some shenanigans in Landrieu’s office?

    I’ll wait ’till I hear a response from O’Keefe.

    And don’t think he went in there without a specific goal in mind beyond simple evesdropping

    Oh this could wind up being one of them most hilarious examples of wingnut pain since duke cunningham admitted to in the words of larry craig being “a nasty and dirty boy” hahahahahahaha….I just can’t stop laughing…oh god, he’s been stuck in jail, and they’re circling…time to go, gotta make out my will and get a restraining order!

  49. O'

    Wow..they are responsive on redstate…make one joke about how I, James O’Keefes colon will be bloody and swollen soon and they ban you…I guess their definition of “be respectful” only applies to people making fun of wingnuts…maybe it’s the part where I gossiped that while they say black men are bigger than white men, I know from experience that andrew breitbart is tiny….I dunno…anyway, laughs all around.

  50. desertwind

    [re=501392]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Naw. He’s not THAT STUPID. He edited those pimp clothes shots into the expose.

  51. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=501288]Snarkalicious[/re]: I don’t think those nice prison fellas are going to have the common courtesy of using lube.

  52. Darkness

    [re=501445]slappypaddy[/re]: What? Not detained?? This is how we treat terrorists now? Obama really is a freakin slacker on national defense, ain’t he?

  53. Pat Pending

    SRSLY??? Is THAT what the douche-tard wore to his little ACORN tea-party? Pimp daddy Jimmy. Oh… my head hurts…

  54. Jukesgrrl

    [re=501392]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I think African-Americans are so used to seeing white boys make complete jackasses of themselves as they appropriate urban culture, the pimp-outfit-as-designed-by-Conan-O’Brien didn’t really read wrong to them. Not to say they didn’t fall on the floor laughing when O’Douche walked out the door. But to his face they just answered his questions as patiently as if they were talking to some pasty 12-year-old with his white ass hanging out of baggy shorts waving a plastic revolver and threatening to “cap yo ass.”

  55. Sparky McGruff

    [re=501311]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: He also won’t release the tapes, other than the edited segments that he put together for his “movies”. So, don’t get to see the “please, please, please play along here for a minute, it’s for a student film” part after the ACORN people finished laughing their asses off.

  56. new complexnegro

    He better get ready to get his ass pimped in the pokey. Talk about being on the down low. He will be on the DOWN LOW!

  57. Dolmance

    Years ago I did a piece of writing in a now defunct magazine called “Prison Life,” a glossy monthly periodical targeting the two million plus convicts in the United States. It went out of business because the magazine tended to be purchased by one individual who would pass it around to his fellow offenders, and the ad sales for Cup ‘O Soup and Top Ramin didn’t cover costs.

    Anyway, I interviewed the founder of the Black Guerrilla Family who’d been sitting in solitary confinement at Pelican Bay Prison for more than a decade since the George Jackson escape attempt from San Quentin Prison. Through that article I met many members of that organization.

    Now I’m wondering if, should this little bastard be incarcerated, I could contact some of those people and arrange for him to be raped repeatedly during his time behind bars.

    Peace… God bless…

  58. Practically

    Wall St. Journals take on the story was this:

    “FOUR ARRESTED IN ALLEGED PHONE SCAM ON SENATORS OFFICE”

    So you think – Oh. Someone was (maybe = alleged) trying to rook an old ladies credit card number by smoooth talking them on the cellular and called a Senators office by mistake.

    No big dealio.

    But nooo – it’s actually a US Attorneys SON and the creepazoid who sold his soul to Breitbart trying to WIRETAP and probably videotape a Senators offices.

    Well now we know who WSJ is sleeping with.. ewww.

  59. Practically

    According to information Dai posted in September 2007 on the university’s online alumni directory, he lived in Naperville, Ill., helped run a “Defense Deparment regional defense counterterrorism/irregular warfare program” and then became assistant director of the Intelligence Community Center of Academic Excellence at Trinity Washington University, which prepares undergraduates for careers in intelligence.

    LOLOL!

    We are so fucked.

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