• May 26, 2012
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January 26, 2010

Intra-Tea Party Bitchiness Threatens Tea Party Slumber Party!

by Juli Weiner  

Everyone watch as the Tea Party’s national Tea Party Party next month slowly implodes as distrust, paranoia and insanity finally get the best of these distrustful, paranoid insane people. Everyone involved in the big Nashville summit (plateau?) suspects everyone else of trying to cheat someone else out of something, most of all Sarah Palin, whose $100,000 keynote speaking fee is a logical scapegoat in all this. And oh my god and one of the non-Erick Erickson ones learned the word “profiteering,” apparently.

Of course, “profiteering” is used interchangeably with “purchasing tickets” and “hotel and airfare not included.” Anyway, the Tea Party—again, important to keep in mind that it is not actually a real thing—is so balkanized now, because of the profiteering!

Erick Erickson, the editor of the influential conservative blog RedState.com, wrote this month that something seemed “scammy” about the convention. And the American Liberty Alliance withdrew as a sponsor after its members expressed concerns about the convention’s finances being channeled through private bank accounts and its organizer being “for profit.” [...]

Sherry Phillips, who founded and runs Tea Party Nation with her husband, Judson, said Monday that it is not a nonprofit group.

Ms. Phillips said the American Liberty Alliance was “a for-profit company that takes donations.” The National Precinct Alliance, she said, demanded compensation of around $3,000. “Our budget on this convention is very tight and we could not afford them,” she wrote in an e-mail message.

She declined to comment on Ms. Palin’s speaking fee.

“If there is any profit,” Ms. Phillips said, “the money will go toward furthering the cause of conservatism.”

But does conservatism include hotel and airfare?

[New York Times]

{ 88 comments }

bfstevie January 26, 2010 at 10:53 am

Everybody knows that the real way to further the conservative agenda is to go on a sea cruise with Bill Kristol, and to remember to thank our brave troops.

Monsieur Grumpe January 26, 2010 at 10:55 am

It’s called CAPITALISM you socialist teaparty dimwits.
You’re nothing but a bunch of closet pinkos!

memzilla January 26, 2010 at 10:56 am

It’s a super-absorbent scammy, and Erik Son Of Erik knows scammy!

FMA January 26, 2010 at 10:56 am

I fear for the future of this country when you can’t scam dumbasses out of metric fuck-tons of cash.
And I guess all these people can agree on is it’s unacceptable that the president is a Negro.

TGY January 26, 2010 at 10:57 am

Tea-baggers are as individual as snowflakes on a fingertip and about as deformed in a half-baked/half-melted way.

The Church of Realism January 26, 2010 at 10:57 am

The United Atheist Alliance vs. the Allied Atheist Alliance?? Science, damn you…..

Chickensmack January 26, 2010 at 11:00 am

Why Juli, I’m so proud that you understand Middle Tennessee terrain formations!

Another DC Lawyer (Again) January 26, 2010 at 11:00 am

But wait…isn’t giving something of “value” away for free, or reducing the cost by having those who have more contribute more so those who have less can particpate, SOCIALISM?!!!

OMFG.

Tea Party = Socialist Infiltrators!

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 26, 2010 at 11:01 am

I’m sure Erick son of Erick meant “scummy” instead of “scammy.” Potato, potatoe.

hockeymom January 26, 2010 at 11:01 am

I wonder if Sherry Phillips know this guy? He sounds like a spectacular representative of the teabag party.

http://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/man-sexually-assaults-niece-for-9-years

weejee January 26, 2010 at 11:03 am

[re=500965]FMA[/re]: “There’s a sucker born every minute.” – P.T. Barnum

The tea-baggers are just being scammed by the latest circus to roll into town.

Nappied Hypotenuse January 26, 2010 at 11:03 am

[re=500964]memzilla[/re]: Scamwow? (You know what else was made in Germany…)

JMP January 26, 2010 at 11:03 am

Hey teabaggers, if the organizers of this conference are ripping you off, it’s just the magic of the Free Market at work; you’ve always had no problems with the rest of us being ripped off by for-profit corporations.

WarAndG January 26, 2010 at 11:04 am

Make up your dumb founding fathery minds right-wads!

Profit is the most virtuous thing that God has delivered upon mankind. It is the essence of Jesus and liberty.

Without it we are all hell bound with socialism.

It’s nobody’s biz but the individual who is making the profit which bank the money goes into you collectivist totalitarians.

It’s a privacy matter stop intruding like our jack-booted gov’mint (excluding the troops, God Bless them though.)

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 26, 2010 at 11:05 am

[re=500975]weejee[/re]: Yup, and this circus is being led by Her Eminence Snowbilly the Clown Princess of TrailerTrashistan.

JMP January 26, 2010 at 11:09 am

[re=500970]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: Look, a teabagging conference is a fucking valuable thing, you don’t just give it away for free.

ManchuCandidate January 26, 2010 at 11:10 am

Life of Brian as political “skienze.”

germansteel January 26, 2010 at 11:10 am

There needs to be a law that says Tea Party “members” – or at least those who self-identify as Tea Party-ers – have to disclose their mental illness, on account of I don’t want to be doing any business more significant than buying a Big Mac from them.

artpepper January 26, 2010 at 11:12 am

Palin’s speaking fee is trickle-down economics in action. What’s not to love?

montyburns4prez January 26, 2010 at 11:13 am

I’m sensing a pattern here. The teabaggers are against health care reform because they think it will take away their Medicare benefits. Now they don’t want to go to their own event because it’s too expensive. Do these people want to pay for anything?

Our Hobo Senator January 26, 2010 at 11:15 am

Where am I supposed to send the rock salt?

PsycGirl January 26, 2010 at 11:16 am

I’m starting my own PsycGirl Foundation, a for-profit foundation that takes donations and charges, also, for something I can’t think of just yet.

MARCdMan January 26, 2010 at 11:16 am

Aren’t these the same asshats that were all excited about starting their own Paultard community somewhere then that dried up as soon as they found out they’d have to pay? I’m detecting a common theme…

SayItWithWookies January 26, 2010 at 11:18 am

So these are the people who, when their friends in high school would joke around about starting a nonconformists’ club and how it would fall apart over why they were even meeting in the first place, said “No, guys, I think it could work.” It’s the perpetual motion machine of social engineering, just made for crackpots and the shysters who prey on them. So it should work out well for these folks.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 26, 2010 at 11:20 am

YOu think any self-respecting tea-partier would do anything unless it was for a buck. Free-market at work baby. Why does Erick Erickson hate winners so much?

Chickensmack January 26, 2010 at 11:23 am

Tea Party Nation:

I realize that you complain about over-spending by the government. I also realize that you are hypocrites about porn, church, and your own personal finances. Yes, everyone is spending less these days, but seriously: LEAD BY FUCKING EXAMPLE.

You’re the goddamn “conservatives” who just adore our capitalist system. Spend your “hard-earned dollars” already, and start this gig a-rollin’.

PrairiePossum January 26, 2010 at 11:23 am

If the teabaggers think the spending stimulus is a waste of money, wait until they realize how much they are paying to hear the Snowbilly barf up one of her word salads. It’s like paying a thousand bucks to sit around some stoner’s basement while he plays AC/DC records backwards.

qwerty42 January 26, 2010 at 11:24 am

For more Tea party hilarity, see Ed Kilgore’s discussion (which incorporates Dave Weigel’s reporting for the Washington Independent).

Escape Goat Nation January 26, 2010 at 11:24 am

ATTENTION:
Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, join the People’s Revolutionary Tea Party Movement, the Tea Party Liberation Army or The People’s Revolutionary Tea Party Front! These are all heretical organizations that have lost their way.
Only the, People’s Liberation Tea Party Front stays close to our original roots.

(e-mail this to 5 others!)

JMP January 26, 2010 at 11:25 am

[re=500990]montyburns4prez[/re]: It’s important for them to get things without paying, just like how they take government services but don’t want to pay the taxes; but they also want to make sure that the government doesn’t do anything for “those people”

[re=500997]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I can see them going “no, you’re wrong; see, gullible is in the dictionary, it’s right here, I’m pointing right at it.”

Gopherit January 26, 2010 at 11:25 am

This is what happens when you declare all the liberals who invade your site trolls and get overzealous with the banhammer. They could still be mocking libs, but when there’s chum in the water, the sharks will eventually start attacking each other.

And a tight budget when a couple day affair is over $600? And they want another $300+ to let you see Palin? I think “furthering the cause of conservatism” = making a hefty down payment on a house.

ForTheTurnstiles January 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: Should I send a check or is it okay if I just put pack wads of cash under your front door? I’d use PayPal except for the whole Galt thing.

TGY January 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: ‘For the advancement of the arts’ is always a good one. Nobody has to say *which* art. Like the “art of taking people’s money”.

Anonymous Office Zombie January 26, 2010 at 11:26 am

[re=500983]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
Ha! Exactly what I was thinking.

Listen. If you really wanted to join the PFJ, you’d have to really hate the Romans.
I do.
Oh yeah? How much?
A lot! Right. You’re in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People’s Front.
Yeah Splitters.
And the Judean Popular Peoples Front.
Oh yeah.
Splitters.
And the peoples Front of Judea.
Splitters.
What?
The Peoples front of Judea.
Splitters.
We’re the Peoples front of Judea.
Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.
Peoples Front.
Whatever happened to the Popular Front, Reg?
He’s over there.
[A single old man sits on a lower seat.]
{Some POPULAR front, eh?}
[To the old man.] SPLITTER!

comicbookguy January 26, 2010 at 11:27 am

“Philip Glass, the national director of the National Precinct Alliance, announced late Sunday that “amid growing controversy” around the convention, his organization would no longer participate.”

Now where will the get their minimalist orchestral theme music for the event???

When you’re a tea party organizer, furthering the cause of conservatism does include finally having the cash to install that new kitchen you’ve been wanting.

comicbookguy January 26, 2010 at 11:29 am

[re=501006]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Look, if you want to join the Teabaggers Liberation Front, you have to *really* hate the liberals!

RoscoePColtraine January 26, 2010 at 11:30 am

“Free Market” capitalism is great, until they tell you airfare and hotel aren’t included. Those airlines and hotels are just trying to get rich off of us with their “fares” and “rates.” NO ONE should be allowed to get rich…isn’t that the American dream?

Now I’m confused again.

JMP January 26, 2010 at 11:32 am

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: Well, I’m making donations to The Human Fund.

vladster January 26, 2010 at 11:32 am

[re=501006]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: What about the Symbionese Liberation Tea Party Army? They,re legit, right?

Mr Blifil January 26, 2010 at 11:34 am

Obvs putting money in Sarah Palin’s pocket advances the cause of conservatism SHE MUST FEED AND BREED!!!!!11!!

donner_froh January 26, 2010 at 11:35 am

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: Sign me up as long as membership includes free airfare and a hotel room for the weekend.

Terry January 26, 2010 at 11:36 am

So, it’s going to take more than 175 people’s registration to cover CaribouBarbie’s speaking fee? Imagine that. It’s going to be entertaining if the teabaggers seriously turn on her.

Snarkalicious January 26, 2010 at 11:37 am

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: You could always hold Teabagger conventions, charge a payable, if steep, amount upfront, and then jack the ancillary charges through the roof until nobody bothers to show up, except to protest out on the sidewalk.

JMP January 26, 2010 at 11:38 am

[re=501012]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: I for one would like to see the Teabagging People’s Front suicide squad in action.

Come here a minute January 26, 2010 at 11:40 am

If Celestial Seasonings were running this show, they wouldn’t have these problems. Red Zinger will never steer you wrong!

Aflac Shrugged January 26, 2010 at 11:41 am

[re=500975]weejee[/re]: These people prove that Barnum rounded up.

RoscoePColtraine January 26, 2010 at 11:45 am

Let’s not forget that the public transit system refused to plan accordingly and increase it’s service the last time all the teabaggers showed up to protest, uh, public services. There is no reason we should all be expected to pay for something so intangible as ‘service.’

thefrontpage January 26, 2010 at 11:48 am

Well, it’s no wonder they’re confused. Look at this schedule for the activities on one of the convention days:

SCHEDULE FOR DAY TWO, TEA PARTY CONVENTION

9 a.m.-10 a.m.: Morning exercises, with Richard Simmons, Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew

10 a.m.-11 a.m.: Morning seminar, “Overcoming Obstacles To Achieve Success,” hosted by Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres and Kathy Griffin

11 a.m.–Noon: Morning Game Time! Naked Twister, hosted by Ryan Seacrest, Anne Heche and Chastity Bono

Noon- 1 p.m.: Lunch, hosted by Rachel Ray and Martha Stewart

1 p.m.–2 p.m.: Afternoon seminar, “Achieving Success in National Politics: A BI-Partisan Perspective,” hosted by Barney Frank and Larry Craig

2 p.m.-4 p.m.: Key Party! Hosted by Eliot Spitzer, Mark Foley, Don Sherwood and Gary Hart.

4 p.m.-5 p.m.: Seminar, “Politics and Show Business: Working Together,” Hosted by Nathan Lane and Roseanne Barr

5 p.m.-7 p.m.: Dinner, free time

7 p.m.-9 p.m.: Movie, Room 69-AC, “The Birdcage”

9 p.m.-11 p.m.: Naked Jello Wrestling, in the Ballroom, open to everyone.

davesnothere January 26, 2010 at 11:48 am

With teabagging, you get what you pay for.

Autoo January 26, 2010 at 11:53 am

[re=500969]Chickensmack[/re]: Yeah I didn’t know Nashville was located on a plateau either. I always thought correct geographical term was “shithole.”

doxastic January 26, 2010 at 11:54 am

Who would have thought that a bunch of self-interested radical individualists could fail to form a social collective? It’s almost as if their bullshit identity is completely at odds with a functioning polity.

DoktorZoom January 26, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Just wait until the teabaggers find out that the whole convention is actually just a front for ACORN.

doxastic January 26, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Just in time for the State of the Union: A new stimulus initiative! Develop for-profit anti-tax groups, encourage people to make (non-tax-deductable) donations, and use the government revenue to feed dumb, horny animals school lunches.

Lascauxcaveman January 26, 2010 at 12:06 pm

Was it Mark Twain who said, “The primary purpose of a club is to collect dues from its members?”

C’mon, you teapartiers, you do want to be in the club, don’t you? That Sarah Palin’s gonna be there. She’s in the club! She’s real purty. Don’t you want to hang out with the cool kids?

RoscoePColtraine January 26, 2010 at 12:11 pm

[re=501028]Snarkalicious[/re]: Americans have never really like the idea of a la carte. For example, salad bars (or as they are now called, “food bars”) are always included with dinner. You see the value by realizing that the jello instant pudding dessert comes with the meal.

AxmxZ January 26, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Step 3: Profit. Step 4: ??? Step 5: Conservatism!

Red Zeppelin January 26, 2010 at 12:28 pm

Very reminiscent of the Sparticist League/Workers’ League Split. Only stupider.

BaconTime January 26, 2010 at 12:30 pm

We’re just gonna use Barry’s back lawn for the convention. Please PM Barry (Handle: BRINGthaPAYNE) for directions.

PS: No shoes in the house

ForTheTurnstiles January 26, 2010 at 12:43 pm

[re=501026]Terry[/re]: I think it’s inevitable. The real split I’d like to see is the one that would divide the evangelicals from the libertarians and nationalists. Palin’s appeal to the former isn’t guaranteed. Think JoAnna Bibleclass really likes that Glenn Beck character’s pottymouth and mormon-ness?

Escape Goat Nation January 26, 2010 at 12:47 pm

The whole thing stinks of a investment/real estate seminar scam.

Snarkalicious January 26, 2010 at 12:53 pm

[re=501054]doxastic[/re]: Whatever, nerd.

Oldskool January 26, 2010 at 12:56 pm

So it turns out the best way to deal with teabaggers is introduce them to each other. Whooda thunkit.

El Pinche January 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I thought most teabaggers were in it for the trips to the malls and going to Chelsea’s for that wicket double cheese nacho platter. Why are they complicating this!?

Holy Cow!! January 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm

Yes but what’s the conspiracy theory of the conspiracy theory? I mean surely this is just the left-wing media trying to destroy the tea party movement.

Seriously, these people are so self-deluded that they see conspiracies at every turn. It was only a matter of time before they turned on each other.

Ducksworthy January 26, 2010 at 12:58 pm

[re=500972]hockeymom[/re]: Looks like a charter member to me. Old obese white guy, family values christian, conservative bumper stickers, child rape. Sounds like a match.

lawrenceofthedesert January 26, 2010 at 1:23 pm

If they held it in Marin County instead of Nashville, they could smoke the teabags.

Manofsteel January 26, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Ha. Someone is actually named Judson.

Escape Goat Nation January 26, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=501117]Oldskool[/re]: Brilliant!

Zadig January 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm

[re=501006]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Except, as it turns out, the chain email is a ploy by the People’s Revolutionary Tea Party Movement to smoke out the insufficiently loyal Socialist Roaders amongst their numbers.

DustBowlBlues January 26, 2010 at 1:42 pm

One gift from the Teabaggers: For decades, if someone talked about the “Democrat Party,” It was dog whistle for “I’m an asshole.” Or, in a similar vein “I’m a Republican.”

KOS was on Keith last night and he referred to the Teabaggers and I realized that’s the new dog whistle for “I’m a liberal.”

Oh, fuck. Everyone hates Barack Obama now and the world is over. The Democrats will whine, because that’s all the fucking Democrats do. God forbid a big majority in congress and having the White House would encourage them to grow a pair. We got no balz.

Please, teabaggers, stay strong enough to tear the Republican party to shreds.

RoscoePColtraine January 26, 2010 at 1:43 pm

You see what happens when evangelicals form alliances with libertarians? Hilarity ensues.

maven January 26, 2010 at 1:48 pm

She’s so over for Palin, she was so last month. Its all Scott Brown now.

Zadig January 26, 2010 at 1:50 pm

It bears mentioning: This sort of bitchy, high-school-gossipy infighting is precisely the sort of “Reality TV” I’d pay to see.

problemwithcaring January 26, 2010 at 2:07 pm

“If there is any profit,” Ms. Phillips said, “the money will go toward furthering the cause of conservatism.”

Haha. Teabags, rock salt and nigger signs.

El Pinche January 26, 2010 at 2:17 pm

[re=501117]Oldskool[/re]: Yes, this is quite brilliant.

[re=501162]problemwithcaring[/re]: “Teabags, rock salt and nigger signs” isn’t that a David Allen Coe song ?

Wait till the teabaggers find out Palin is supporting McCain over that cromagnon-looking muthafucka running on the teabag ticket in Arizona. …FoxNews will be stupid to talk about it.

S.Luggo January 26, 2010 at 2:21 pm

The best way to kill a grass-roots movement is to charge admission.

Darkness January 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Welcome to Central America, bitches. You screamed and raged in support of a government that points guns at people so our mega corps can rip them the off. Man up and take your own fucking medicine.

Ducksworthy January 26, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Lets be fair to the organizers. The price of admission is about what a new Kalashnikov would cost. And thank god they’re still legal. Couple of those in the right hands could liven up the festivities.

Larry McAwful January 26, 2010 at 2:32 pm

My uncle used to be the head of the ALA. Of course, back then they were still the American Librarians’ Association, and their politics were much different.

Darkness January 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm

[re=500995]PsycGirl[/re]: How about a 8×10 golden candle holder altar with a frame holding a photograph of Sarah Snowbilly, chin raised, demanding worship. Best if the picture slides out easily to be replaced by the next great dipshit hope who soothes these losers by petting them and telling them that their stunning ignorance is actually real values.

desertwind January 26, 2010 at 2:55 pm

I wonder if Palin regrets taking this gig & not the GOPAC/Birch Society gig?

Probably not…. Now she can just play up to the whiny “I’ve been had” crowd.

PsycGirl January 26, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Thanks to everyone for their suggestions regarding a mysterious product for which my non-profit could charge. I remain ever mindful that someone was paid actual money for
this ad

finallyhappy January 26, 2010 at 3:31 pm

I think they could all get a package deal to Vegas for $549 possibly including airfare and hotel. I was at conference last year that cost me $300 for a day and one evening. No hotel or airfare included but we did get three meals, a reception and snacks. We had some high level speakers but we were in DC so the speakers didn’t have far to travel.

GeneralLerong January 26, 2010 at 3:42 pm

[re=501023]Mr Blifil[/re]: Hey, I like that – Palin as the pulsating WASP queen.

OK, maybe the Slurm Queen, judging by her followers.

Freelance Minion January 26, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Tea party people are mad something is being done for a profit? Tea Party people? Have they not read their copies of Atlas Shrugged for a while?

BobTheBuilder January 26, 2010 at 6:55 pm

So Palin’s getting $100K plus bus fare and a a Motel 6 room?

Long Form Def Certificate January 26, 2010 at 7:21 pm

[re=501181]Darkness[/re]: We had Death Squads & Rape Gangs, & nobody told me?

Damnit.

I guess Wellstone was just the first.

Would have liked in on the rest of that action.

Darkness January 26, 2010 at 11:02 pm

[re=501506]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: We have death panels and Rod Jetton.

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