This is what $100 trillion in party donations gets your company: an official White House product endorsement! (PEOPLE WHO USE BLACKBERRIES GO TO GITMO FROM NOW ON.) (EXCEPT OBAMA.) So for those of you who are into “new telephones” — the American economy’s last remaining growth sector. TELEPHONES. — there is a new porno deal for the app button or some such. “Fuck you Ed Schultz,” also. [White House]

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  1. We can only wait, and dream, about Michael Steele’s response to this. If only I could come up with something really, really smart and funny. Then I could write for the Daily Show. Or be a Wonkette intern.

  2. This is too fast. There hasn’t been enough debate. We don’t know everything that’s in this app — Nobody knows everything that’s in this app. Have you looked at it? It’s over 2,000 lines of code. The Obama administration should scrap it and start all over again.

    These talking points brought to you by the FOX News app, which hasn’t come out yet.

  3. Blackberry = Canada, iPhone = China (product of via Cupertino) We must first pay the rent to our overlords. Although Black Barry likes Blackberry. My bad, half black.

  4. Ohhhhhh!


    BrrrrrrrrINGGG!! BrrrrrrrrrINGGG!!

    Telll. Eee. Fone?




    Com. Poot. Durrr!


    Nooo…Butt-ons! No butt-ons! Nooope nope-nope-nope!



    Viiibe. Raaiddd. Durrr?



  5. [re=500641]rottenart[/re]: Right you are, we don’t have health insurance reform yet. And we’re not gonna have it, unless it involves tax cuts and “mandates” in the form of subsidies to Aetna, BCBS, etc. Thanks, Massachussetts — you got a temporary senator who’s a likable dipshit with cute daughters, knows which team Curt Schilling or Pfennig or whatever is name is plays for, but you fucked up the rest of the country.

  6. [re=500653]BigDupa[/re]: Blackberries are Canuckistani? Wow. There’s a joke here somewhere about why they’re so crappy but I won’t make it because they have universal health care and I do not. Gibbs, you’re full of shit.

  7. [re=500663]V572625694[/re]: Yeah, it’s easy to blame Mass for their cock-up but seriously, do I need Gibbs’ smug penis head telling me how cool the new WH app is? What am I going to check on? What the WH has refused to get involved in today? Oh the places I won’t go…

    Not to mention that spot is like the Mac/PC commercials took the worst annoying traits from both actors and created some new, hideous abomination from them after giving it a focus-group-tested “cute” southern drawl.

  8. Great more ammunition for a paranoid Glenn Beck/Michele Bachman rant about hopey indoctrinating our precious little ones. Surely theres some sort of tracking software in that app to make it easier to get em into the FEMA death panel concentration camps.

  9. Yes, but with the WH App, you can see them all ignoring their Gitmo promise, caving on Abu Graib photos, forgetting the middle-class jobs bill, vacillating on health care legistlation IN NEAR-REAL TIME! It’s almost like you’re right there, in the room with them all!

  10. [re=500665]rottenart[/re]: Yep. Wouldn’t surprise me if they outsourced the development of the WH app to India. When us Americans aren’t busy playing with our Chinese iPhone apps, Canadienne Blackberets, Japanese PS3s and Wiis, etc. then we’re too scared from terrorism, taxes, health care or whatever, to do any innovation ourselves anymore.

    Make me want to ignore the news and the internet. I’ll be the first person in the 21st century US to actually make a new product.

  11. [re=500681]EdFlinstone[/re]: I thought you were going to say Beck would claim the app is stealing our thoughts or something, but your claim seems just crazy enough to be likely.

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