UHHH  10:45 am January 22, 2010

by Sara K. Smith

A ROUSING DEFENSE OF THE WIFE OF THAT VULGAR MILL-WORKER: Elizabeth Edwards: Saint or sinner? Lady who carries a purse, or lady who pulls credit cards out of her bra? Doomed fatty, or doomed fatty? “I knew there was no way she was going to lose 40 pounds. You could just tell she loved life too much to let things like diets stand in the way of a good time.” Yum! [Washington Post]

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Hola wonkerados.

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Mr Blifil January 22, 2010 at 10:51 am

Plus she now has fewer kids than when she first pooped them out. Uninteresting. Not like blond crazee-eyes with her supple thighs and ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE CHILD OUT OF WEDLOCK

Snarko Marx January 22, 2010 at 10:55 am

Judging by that picture of her she’ll be admitting maternity of Chucky from Child’s Play in 5, 4, 3…

Snarko Marx January 22, 2010 at 10:55 am

The picture in the linked article I mean.

Naked Bunny with a Whip January 22, 2010 at 10:56 am

Now I totally want to lick Elizabeth Edwards. Granted, I also want to lick Sara K. Smith, so take that as you will.

memzilla January 22, 2010 at 11:02 am

SKS is a new mother, so SKS’s opinion trumps all us other commenters.

It sez so in the bible, right there in Second Drunkalonians.

Crank Tango January 22, 2010 at 11:06 am

Seriously, can’t we make the naked senator go away? every time I refresh this page I get fifty naked douchebags across the top of my screen. Which is more than I usually have. I tend to go for 4 windows of self-shot college girls making billy idol faces and gang signs at the camera…

ForTheTurnstiles January 22, 2010 at 11:07 am

OT but check out the comments on Ben Smith’s blog posting re: Peggington Noonington. Hilarity ensues.

S.Luggo January 22, 2010 at 11:08 am

“I have learned a lot about life watching her.”

I feel the same about Ayla Brown.

SayItWithWookies January 22, 2010 at 11:12 am

When she reads this, I know that she will point out the things I said that are wrong or unfair, and express particular dismay at any sentences I ended with prepositions.

No, I think what she’ll point out is that you attempted to write a portrait of a person using only one-and-a-half anecdotes and then a bunch of adjective-laden generalities. And it also leaves the most burning question about her unasked, which is unforgivable even if you don’t answer it. But really — why is she still married to that two-dimensional jackass?

Buzz Feedback January 22, 2010 at 11:20 am

All of these people are despicable assholes.

Radiotherapy January 22, 2010 at 11:21 am

Why do Diet Cokes make people fat?

V572625694 January 22, 2010 at 11:26 am

[re=499432]SayItWithWookies[/re]: She’s as charming and intelligent a woman as she looks like in the picture here, or appeared to be such during a campaign interview I saw in ’08. Why she wants to hang on with the Breck Girl is a mystery indeed.

[re=499435]Radiotherapy[/re]: Diet Cokes make people fat because they believe the can of robot sweat will negate the Snickers bar they washed down with it.

Texan Bulldoggette January 22, 2010 at 11:31 am

[re=499435]Radiotherapy[/re]: I used to work with a woman who was about 250 lbs. She could wolf down a whole pizza & jumbo size meal at any fast food place, but she always got a Big Gulp size Diet Coke. She thought that the calories she saved drinking diet instead of regular really helped her out.

McDuff January 22, 2010 at 11:33 am

[re=499432]SayItWithWookies[/re]: why is she still married to that two-dimensional jackass?

Maybe she’s on a family health insurance plan with him and the kids. The minute she leaves him she’s dropped, and a woman with breast cancer ain’t getting no coverage on her own — it’s the American Way!

Autoo January 22, 2010 at 11:36 am

[re=499436]V572625694[/re]: [re=499432]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ‘Cause he’s rich?

gurukalehuru January 22, 2010 at 11:48 am

[re=499428]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: omfg, they think peggy’s a liberal. Without any sense of irony or sarcasm at all. (if I don’t truly understand a word, I just use two, doubling my chances)

SayItWithWookies January 22, 2010 at 11:50 am

[re=499440]McDuff[/re]: I’m guessing that when you have cancer you just really don’t want to throw moving out and divorcing (divorcing a lawyer, no less) on top of the whole deal. On the other hand, living with Pretty Boy Fraud has got to be exhausting in its own right.

Buzz Feedback January 22, 2010 at 11:53 am

I’m thinking she’d do okay in divorce court since it appears The Haircut would fukk a puddle.

Way Cool Larry January 22, 2010 at 11:54 am

all you people are just so darn mean!

oooooops January 22, 2010 at 11:56 am

[re=499435]Radiotherapy[/re]: Diet Cokes make you fat because they’re laden with sodium, which bloats you up. What others said about negating pizza, Snickers, etc., is true. Also.

FMA January 22, 2010 at 11:58 am

[re=499448]Way Cool Larry[/re]: Thank you!

slavojzizek January 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Could they use a higher resolution picture next time? I think one or two of the wrinkles on her neck may still be slightly blurred in the one they used.

Sharkey January 22, 2010 at 12:01 pm

[re=499442]Autoo[/re]: No.
Most everyone knows she is brilliant, one of those people who can quote Henry James and Paul Krugman.
She is so smart she knew he would cheat on her before she even married him.
Yet she is still the down-to-earth person many Americans first saw in 2004.
Ha! So sexy. Three holes, no waiting.

What Fresh Hell is This? January 22, 2010 at 12:02 pm

Don’t get too sympathetic. Elizabeth Edwards IS a lawyer.

Sharkey January 22, 2010 at 12:03 pm

She had lots of great policy ideas and she can wonk out with the best of them.

She can what out with the who of them? Read that to me slowly again, baby.

Ducksworthy January 22, 2010 at 12:13 pm

[re=499435]Radiotherapy[/re]: Yer brain thinks its getting lots of sugar and tells yer body to go ahead and store more fat, which it wants to do anyway.

finallyhappy January 22, 2010 at 12:13 pm

I guess I have a hard time understanding why any of these women stay with their husbands- Vitters, Spitzer, Edwards, Ensign. Go, Jenny sanford! I guess some of the cheated on wives do think it is their Christian duty to suffer and stay( what a virtue!). I can’t think that Elizabeth Edwards would lose her health coverage if she divorced POS John. I do not think any of these women would be come poor if they filed for divorce and they would have a better life and would be teaching some better morals to their children.

Sharkey January 22, 2010 at 12:14 pm

Why did they leave out the part about her hiking on the Appalachian trail?

thefrontpage January 22, 2010 at 12:17 pm

No one should ever write “wonk out with the best of them.”

thesheriffisnear January 22, 2010 at 12:20 pm

[re=499454]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: I’m thinking of the advise wise mothers to their darling daughters: “Never marry a man prettier than you…”

ph7 January 22, 2010 at 12:23 pm

[re=499462]finallyhappy[/re]: Guys cheat. If every wife divorced a husband who was cheating the divorce rate would be >90%. Remember: men are as faithful as their options. Politicians, for some reason, are offered many options.

WadISay January 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

I still think Rielle “Druck” Hunter is kind of hot, even though she has been entered more times than the Lincoln Tunnel.

Dave J. January 22, 2010 at 12:56 pm

[re=499429]S.Luggo[/re]: I was going to say Alexis Texas, but, whatever. Same difference, maybe?

proudgrampa January 22, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Today, we are all wonking out.

caieva January 22, 2010 at 1:15 pm

She stayed with him because she’s dying and doesn’t want to put the kids through divorce as well as her death. Same reason she hasn’t worried about befriending the half-sibling and whatnot – plenty of time for it when she’s gone.

Extemporanus January 22, 2010 at 1:21 pm

If only she’d known about John-Boy’s affair before they announced his candidacy for president, much of this heartache might’ve been avoided.

Poor, poor thing…

Extemporanus January 22, 2010 at 1:24 pm

[re=499503]proudgrampa[/re]: Wonk out with yer honky tonk badonkadonk out y’all!

McDuff January 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm

[re=499446]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I figure John has actually been “living” in the garage. Going to Haiti and staying a tent for a few days is probably a step up for him.

Sharkey January 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm

According to Fox, they’re now separated.

The she-might-be-dying thing is starting to make sense, should I have a sad? Meh.

finallyhappy January 22, 2010 at 2:10 pm

[re=499475]ph7[/re]: I guess i think that is sad- because I would divorce if my husband cheated. I do hear though that most divorces are about money. Luckily, I have the money.

Accordion-o-rama January 22, 2010 at 4:11 pm

[re=499427]Crank Tango[/re]: Seriously, can’t we make the naked senator go away?


Guppy06 January 22, 2010 at 4:22 pm

Any clues when she’ll attend the Jenny Sanford School of Kick-Him-To-The-Curb?

Dolmance January 23, 2010 at 1:39 am

Why is it that southern politicians seem to go apeshit for profoundly repellent women?

Dolmance January 23, 2010 at 1:43 am

If women could get into guy’s heads for five seconds they’d never feel a pang of jealousy again, no matter what the provocation. They’d know in a heartbeat that getting upset over having your husband or boyfriend fuck another woman is like getting upset when a stranger scratches your dog’s belly.

So ladies, please. Get over it. Stop with the jealousy. It’s misplaced, it’s a waste of time and it’s bad manners. Guys fuck around, it’s the way they’re made. And if you need to fuck around too, just don’t tell anyone.

This is my recipe for marital bliss. Your welcome.

S.Luggo January 23, 2010 at 1:58 am

[re=499745]Guppy06[/re]: Won’t happen.
She has too much class. And no other source of support.
Shocked, shocked? Many betrayed/abused women stay married for the same reason.

Altho Liz could sell a decent screenplay: “On the Edge Death, And Still My Asshole Husband Cheated on Me.”

Script supervisor: Mrs. Newt Gingrich 2.

getoffmylawn January 23, 2010 at 7:42 am

[re=499722]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: petition starting to enter the Naked Cowboy for US Senate/NY in 3..2…1

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