HAHAHHAA OH MAN, HERE’S YOUR NIGHTCAP OF HORROR! Of course they did this! STAB and TWIST and KILL the hippies! “The White House Correspondents’ Association plans to announce Friday morning that Jay Leno will headline their annual pols-stars-and-reporters dinner on May 1.” Your editor’s urge to just drive the motherfuck as far away from this horrifying, sadistic federal office park territory as possible, like due North until the car falls into whatever body of water comes first, is… uh… no clue how to finish this sentence… whatever. AL QAEDA. PLEASE COCKBOMB THIS EVENT. PLEASE. AMERICA NEEDS YOU. [WP/Reliable Source]
ENDLESS TORTURE 1:14 am January 22, 2010
Hola wonkerados.
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{ 47 comments }
Maybe Leno is going to announce his candidacy for the Comcast-NBC Senate seat?
As if we needed more evidence that the White House press corps should be loaded into a bus and driven off the nearest cliff.
Could this week get any worse?
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
FUCK LENO
Sorry, I just can’t stand the man. Someone told me I hated him because he’s a conservative. No, I never ever ever liked him because he’s uncreative, unfunny, and sucks Comcast/GE/NBC corporate cock.
What — Frank Caliendo was busy? Larry the Cable Guy couldn’t be bothered? Don Imus didn’t want to risk his 1.000 batting average?
Does the WHCA also have a 59% minority of liberals? Liberal comedians have been doing the best political humor since Lenny Bruce and Mort Sahl — actually back to Robert Benchley and Dorothy Parker — Voltaire — Swift — Moliere — Boccaccio — and on and on. The best ones today would love to be on parade on a night that celebrated actual humor. And it’s not like they would spare our Prez, either.
But instead they go for the whitest, most establishment comedian ever? Jay Leno can’t even tell a joke — I watch his monologues from time to time, and he always tells his joke and then restates it for those who might be confused. It’s stand-up with training wheels. Humor is by nature anti-establishment. You can’t laugh about beating up a starving peasant who tried to steal some bread. Conversely, it’s very hard for a man who has a one-acre warehouse stuffed with expensive, exotic cars to be funny. If Obama has any sense he’ll appoint Dubya as his special ambassador — dumbass’ll love it.
The horror…the horror.
[re=499282]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And you are the winner of this thread, sir or madam. Though I might venture into the slightly more paranoid argument-by-extension that no White House wants a genuinely funny, insightful (and hence anti-establishment) comedian on their stage. Hiring Colbert a few years back was a total fluke.
Also, front butt? Rly?
Nuff’ said.
Ooh, wait, I get it.
Jay Leno : jokes :: White House correspondents : journalism
What, Dane Cook was busy?
Suggested Alt Txt: Riley Waggaman looks on as Jim Newell is wheeled out from a Wonkette editors meeting upon learning that Jay Leno will host this years White House Correspondents’ Association dinner. Sara K. Smith consoles Juli Weiner in the background.
Bring in the Greaseman.
Could they be any more tone deaf? As if Leno isn’t the most despised TV personality on Earth right now. I guess guy who punched that girl on Jersey Shore and the Haiti earthquake were busy.
Jay Leno walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says.
“Hey! Why the long face?”
Thank you, I’ll be here till Sunday.
Keep your Jay up, Jim.
With any luck, Ed McMahon will show up with a check oversized enough to save healthcare reform.
[re=499294]StoneAge[/re]: They’ve learned from the best on how to be tone-deaf…the politicians in DC
[re=499282]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Actually, Larry the Cable Guy might be a hoot at this party. In interviews, he’s actually a smart man. Leno, on the other hand, is still updating over Johnny Carson’s old material.
That picture never gets old
Got room in that car for another Jim? I’ll chip in for gas.
This week has really sucked and it isn’t over yet. What next?
[re=499304]Terry[/re]: Are you kidding me? Leno’s still using Milton Berle’s material…
Hey, with the White House correspondents, Leno will probably kill with all of his fresh Monica Lewinsky jokes.
Remember, while everyone else found Colbert hilarious, the correspondents were all shocked at his being rude and vowed it would never happen again. Thus, only picking unchallenging, middlebrow establishment comedians, and no one young; “young” to them meaning under 55.
Jim Newell: If I were you I would have ended with “urgent”: “Your editor’s urge to etc. etc… is urgent.” Almost all urges are urgent. In the alternative, I would have used “expialidocious” (wrt which I needn’t say more).
[re=499333]coolcatdaddy[/re]: Yeah; Carson’s corpse today is still much hipper and more relevant than Leno ever was.
Jay Leno is a human ’07 Camry.
[re=499282]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You kidding me? I bet turds like Jake Tapper and and Ed Henry love Leno.
Leno/Marsalis 2012 FEEL THE RELEVANCE!!!1!!1
[re=499282]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Leno is now officially the anti-Colbert, or rather the anti-son-of-Colbert-and-Wanda-Sykes. There ought to be some sort of victory/celebration commemorating the triumph of the mid-level hacks, as exemplified by the deaths of Bruce/Kinison/Hicks/Pryor/Chapelle/etc…
PS Maybe we can get Polanski and Woody Allen to make a short film about Scott Brown’s daughters and pipe it in from Switzerland or some shit. That ought to tickle Dana Milbank’s funny bone.
On the plus side, you’re guaranteed one less story to cover on May 2.
‘member how cool Wanda Sykes was? *sigh* good times, good times…
If someone gets me a ticket, I won’t go. I’ll give it to the Salahis.
[re=499337]JMP[/re]: This is true, plus Rich Little is fucking SWAMPED after bringing down the house in Bush’s last year…
[re=499292]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: re: alt-alt text: I’m laughing so hard my co-workers think I’m crazy!! (I am, but that’s beside the point)
And another thing, Jay Leno? Really? I thought host was supposed to be funny??! Also.
I just want someone to explain the picture to me. Is it a man? A woman? wtf is the ass doing in front? I’m so confused.
For a little historical perspective:
1969 The Disneyland Golden Horseshoe Revue.
1976 Bob Hope and Chevy Chase
1985 Rich Little
1988 Yakov Smirnoff
1991 Sinbad
1993 Elayne Boosler
1994 Al Franken
1995 Conan O’Brien
1996 Al Franken
1997 Norm Macdonald
1998 Ray Romano
2001 Darrell Hammond
2002 Drew Carey
2004 Jay Leno
2005 Cedric the Entertainer
2006 Stephen Colbert
2007 Rich Little
2008 Craig Ferguson
2009 Wanda Sykes
[re=499408]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: What a country.
[re=499288]rottenart[/re]: Even back then…when was that ? 1993? We all knew Leno was just an talentless NBC hack.
[re=499354]Mr Blifil[/re]: werd to that.
I hope Leno’s show fails.
[re=499408]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: What , Sinbad but no Carrot Top ?
In the McCain/Palin admin., it could have been Gallagher Too.
THE WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT’S ASSOCIATION
PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE PRESS RELEASE
UPDATE:
Jan. 22, 2010, Washington, D.C.: The White House Correspondent’s Association has just announced that Jay Leno’s hosting duties at the annual WHCA dinner in May, 2010, will be pushed back to 8:05 p.m., and after that, Conan O’Brien will start to host the dinner half an hour later, starting at 8:35 p.m. After an hour of O’Brien hosting, Jimmy Fallon will then host the dinner, starting at 9:35 p.m. After an hour of hosting by Fallon, Carson Daly, or his animated corpse, will then host the dinner from 10:35 p.m. to 11:35 p.m., at which time everyone can then go home and kill themselves.
# # #
I’m sure even Leno will be able to say something so innocuous that the GOP loses their heads and starts screaming about impeachment.
In my non-medical opinion, “butt front” is the result of C-section scar (the used to done vertically rather than “bikini cut”) plus many pounds overweight. Voila. Too much information?
[re=499441]El Pinche[/re]:
“I hope Leno’s show fails”
I hope his kidneys fail. /W. Sykes, 2009/
A guy whose entire schtick consists of telling a dated joke, then saying “see what I did, there”, rim-shot from the band, “exactly! exactly!” fade to commercial, repeat as needed, yeah, he should kill at this event.
[re=499279]El Pinche[/re]: Ay, puro pinche Leno!
[re=499374]Mr Blifil[/re]: “Didya hear about the three Canadian hunters…”
Leno can only DREAM of such comedy gold.
It’s official. The White House is now looking proactively to be involved in every non-political scandal possible. As if the Tiger Woods Golf Digest cover and Kanye West comment weren’t bad enough…what’s next?
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