• February 15, 2012
SEMINAL NEWS REPORTS

CNN Loves Your Wonkette’s Sexy Clam Bikini Posts

by Jim Newell

3:56 pm January 21, 2010

Oh boy, someone has yet again forwarded Jeannie Moos a Wonkette post that she simply had to screen-cap for her latest wacky funtimes video. What a nice lady. She loves the easy things we post when we’re trying to avoid writing angry, long things about health care — meaning this very post should make her next video, tonight! Oh, those Brown girls. We hadn’t known until watching this video that Ayla was drunk and bar-dancin’ like the dickens during the victory party, but that’s great! Everyone’s havin’ fun! [CNN]

{ 47 comments }

Rumproast January 21, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Being Moos-ed was one of my proudest blogging moments.

*fart*

No wait, that was.

Sharkey January 21, 2010 at 4:02 pm

We are so depraved.

Buzz Feedback January 21, 2010 at 4:07 pm

sexytime.

BlueStateLibtard January 21, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Just look at that photo for a few seconds. I’m not going to say anymore except why are Republicans just so weird?

Suds McKenzie January 21, 2010 at 4:09 pm

yeah, even the Daily Show ripped you all off yesterday with “their” Brown is president of everything thingy.

JMP January 21, 2010 at 4:10 pm

CNN: coping blogs to avoid having to do actual original reporting themselves since 2004.

Moos is wrong; Ayla’s cup does not literally runneth over when she picks glitter from her cleavage as they’re quite small, not that there’s anything wrong with that; it’s her sister who has the big old implants. Those were some nice legs during the drunken stage dancing, though.

RoscoePColtraine January 21, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Ayla (pronounced Ay-lerr) sings better than her dad speaks, and that’s saying something.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Here is a http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/21/scott-browns-wife-music-v_n_431632.html by the “band” DIGNEY FIGNUS(?!) for their 1984 hit song “The Girl With the Curious Hand” starring Mrs. Senatorfold Scott Brown!

“In the video, [Gail] Huff [Brown] struts around and sunbathes in a black bikini, the top of which she removes at one point before diving into the water. At the song’s climax, the vixen suggestively squeezes a tube of toothpaste, perhaps explaining the curiosity of this girl’s hand.”

Her top is, like, TOTALLY TUBULAR!

El Pinche January 21, 2010 at 4:11 pm

Aw, what about that wonderful blingee and some our comments?? Are we too hot for teevee?

SayItWithWookies January 21, 2010 at 4:12 pm

Gee, that just makes we wish all Americans were stupid and photogenic — what a wonderful society this would be.

earnestcivilservant January 21, 2010 at 4:13 pm

This is going to be such fun to watch. I miss the antics of those Bush twins.

FMA January 21, 2010 at 4:14 pm

This just might be the thing that pushes Meghan over the top. I’d avoid the Scottsdale Applebee’s if I were you guys, unless you’re into that kind of thing…

Pithaughn January 21, 2010 at 4:16 pm

I am now willing to wager that there exists a video of that raven tressed goddess that is worth huge dinero as a source for a blackmail threat. Release the hounds of videoville, hunt my pretties!

bureaucrap January 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

And yet, CNN refuses to report on Brown’s proposal to desensitize nebraska.

Gopherit January 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

“Wearing clothes jab<?? That was the nicest thing anyone said about him.

And Simon Cowell summed up the Browns the best: ” It was good, it just wasn’t fantastic.”

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I’m 100% pro-Wonkette ad revenue, but I don’t think having to wait almost a minute for the page to load and the comment box to appear counts as “innovation”.

I am thisclose to crying out “GREEN CARS! GREEN CARS!”

american mutt January 21, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I’m afraid the Obama daughters can’t compete with these two.
I guess that’s a good thing.

frailamerica January 21, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=498962]Extemporanus[/re]: What the hell is with this family? That’s not a complaint, mind you.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=498962]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=498972]Extemporanus[/re]: SEE?!

The Tron clown car is even going ALL AGRO on my SUPER RAD HTML skills!

JMP January 21, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=498972]Extemporanus[/re]: So other people are having these problems today? Good to know. I’ve also had a few comments vanish into the imaginary aether.

Barcode of the Apocalypse January 21, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Awfully white for a Brown girl.

Monsieur Grumpe January 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Dear Wonkette,
You need to work the phrase “As seen on CNN” somewhere in the header.
Ka-ching!!!$$$11!

Sharkey January 21, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=498972]Extemporanus[/re]: Are you on dial-up or something? It’s a feature, not a bug.
:)

Monsieur Grumpe January 21, 2010 at 4:38 pm

How many days will be before Mr. and Mrs. Brown are complaining about the lack of privacy for their family?

bitchincamaro January 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm

I jizzed. Again.

S.Luggo January 21, 2010 at 4:40 pm

Whatever happened to old fashioned reporting?

I’m cancelling my subscription to the NYT immediately.

CaliforniaMike January 21, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Arianna isn’t available. She’s daddy’s girl.

engulfedinflames January 21, 2010 at 4:51 pm

Those republithingies! They’re so funny.

Prommie January 21, 2010 at 4:55 pm

[re=498962]Extemporanus[/re]: Digney Fucking Fignus? WTF? Thats the fucking worst video I have ever seen in my life. I was there, I was a fucking total geek undergrad in 1983, and addicted to totally fucking gay new wave shit like this, and I watched fucking MTV like a fucking geek, and I never heard of this shit.

Nevertheless, and suchwhat, it ups the “this family is fascinating” factor.

Autoo January 21, 2010 at 4:58 pm

[re=498972]Extemporanus[/re]: [re=498983]JMP[/re]: No, NO!
EMBRACE your new green car innovation overlords! You know I have.

(Actually, page loads today seem a bit problematic to me, too.) And the sponsoring site is kinda interesting, if you are interested in recent automotive innovations and somewhat apologetic and defensive explanations as to why they take so fucking long to reach the market. Oddly, though, it occasionally redirects you to a page advertising sonething called ‘Anal-Eze.’ Maybe that just happens when you click through from Wonkette.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 4:59 pm

[re=498987]Sharkey[/re]: [re=498983]JMP[/re]: I’m on a Commodore 64 running Windows 2.1 off a portable Fisher-Price cassette drive hooked-up to a hamster wheel generator powered by narcoleptic paddle-tail newts on acid, so I’m not really sure why these site takeovers cause me so much grief.

I’m thinking maybe it’s the newts.

FEATURE: Waiting forever for comment box to appear gives me time to reflect upon whether I really want to submit such a toally lame comment.

BUG: Waiting forever for comment box to appear gives me time to completely forget the awesome comment I was going to submit whereupon I submit a totlaly lame comment instead.

Lascauxcaveman January 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

In Scott’s defense, I too am a middle aged father of two daughters and sometimes, attempting to make funny, say some incredibly creepy and inappropriate things in public.

Oh God no, not about my daughters!

I’m talking about my commenting history here on Wonkette.

President Beeblebrox January 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

What the fuck was it with those weird-looking Murrikan flags being waved in the audience? It almost looked like the flag of the Restored United States of America – which would be pretty appropriate for this crowd, actually, since they’ve been living under the iron heel of an Islamofascist/Marxist dictatorship since January 20, 2009.

[re=498968]Pithaughn[/re]: Yes, yes, Anonymous MUST deliver on this, plox, baby Jeebus.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 5:17 pm

[re=499017]Prommie[/re]: WHAT?! You’ve never heard of Digney Fignus?!

Why, he’s only the talk of the town…”Beantown”, to be exact!

(I was a junior high Jams and The Jam junkie as well in the early 80s, and I have no fucking idea who the fuck this aborted Proclaimers triplet is, either.)

[re=499020]Autoo[/re]: If only it were an Anal-Eze all-over ad, my Wonkette would be loading way more smoothly.

(I did check out the vroom-vroom site a few times, though, while waiting for comments to appear. Hey, maybe that was the plan all along! Pretty sneaky sis!)

zenferret January 21, 2010 at 5:31 pm

[re=499023]Extemporanus[/re]: Get some skinks….

SayItWithWookies January 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm

[re=499039]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Oh, nothing interesting — just a flag made by a teabagger symbolizing his call for a second American Revolution — one where the red states and blue states split up. Not that Scott Brown is anything but a simple commonsense moderate Republican like he always says.

loquaciousmusic January 21, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Yeah, whatever. If it’s not a Wonkette commenter on The Daily Show, I don’t want to hear about it.

(You all thought I forgot, didn’t you?!)

Radiotherapy January 21, 2010 at 6:07 pm

When they show our favorite naked senator, they black box his junkless nether region. Hahaha.

Also, I’ll bet my medicaid card, there are some pissed off Wasillabillies that had their little family schtick upstaged, hahahaha.

Radiotherapy January 21, 2010 at 6:26 pm

[re=499040]Extemporanus[/re]: Ya gotta give Digney some credit though: he might have nailed a senator’s protowife and surely he is the Jimi Hendrix of the ehru!

Guppy06 January 21, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Boob confetti! That’s brilliant! A small pyrotechnic charge wired to shower confetti outwards when the bra’s hook is undone!

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 7:01 pm

[re=499060]zenferret[/re]: The tech dude at PetCo said that they’re waiting for more tails to come in before they do any more upgrades.

[re=499110]Radiotherapy[/re]: If you’ve ever seen Mrs. Senatorfold give someone a handjob, you’d understand the sickening inspiration for that song.

[re=499116]Guppy06[/re]: Much more festive than cuntfetti, which is…uh…oh nevermind.

Radiotherapy January 21, 2010 at 7:42 pm

[re=499147]Extemporanus[/re]: I’m sure she’s not afraid to get her fingers Brown.

Mr Blifil January 21, 2010 at 8:52 pm

[re=499023]Extemporanus[/re]: BUG: Waiting forever for comment box to appear gives me time to completely forget the awesome comment I was going to submit whereupon I submit a totlaly lame comment instead.

Get your own fucking creative process already, that shit is mine.

9/11 is a verb January 21, 2010 at 10:30 pm

“MY DAD>>IS THE NEXT SENATOR OF MASSSACH#%#@1″ Simon Cowell was right..she is not fantastic

ZombieRichardFeynman January 21, 2010 at 10:44 pm

[re=499023]Extemporanus[/re]: Well, there’s your problem. Replace that hamster with a sleek new ferret and your speed-surfing days will return.

trondant January 21, 2010 at 10:50 pm

[re=498972]Extemporanus[/re]: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades – not when you’re grunting the safe word into Jim’s ear.

WIDTAP January 22, 2010 at 8:11 am

Sure Wonkette, but what will you do now with this new-found power over the MSM?

Just one answer, of course = buttsecks.

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