RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  6:08 pm January 21, 2010

Why Won’t John Edwards Ease The Suffering Of Goldman Sachs?

by Riley Waggaman

  • Jets fans are second-class citizens in Obama’s tyrannical One World Nation. [Hit & Run]
  • Goldman Sachs made a disappointing five billion dollars in the fourth quarter. That’s what, maybe 20,000,000 eight balls? Heart-wrenching. [Daily Intel]
  • JESUS WEEPS: Sarah Palin is officially a 100% USDA certified organic RINO! [Hot Air]
  • The Sandinistas at the ACLU have filed a Freedom of Information Act requesting information pertaining to Predator drones (i.e. how many millions of American lives they’ve saved). This is what Communists do when they think something is unconstitutional but can’t prove it. [The Corner]
  • Barack Obama campaigned for Martha Coakley, which is why Martha Coakley got spanked so thoroughly. Now Barack Obama wants to campaign for Harry Reid. Ergo, Barack Obama must hate Harry Reid a lot. © 2010 Redstate, Inc., All Rights Reserved. [RedState]
Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


plowman January 21, 2010 at 6:16 pm

Maybe they’ll send a drone over to ACLU headquarters before the ACLU can publish everything imaginable about the program…

SayItWithWookies January 21, 2010 at 6:25 pm

While I wouldn’t call Sarah a RINO — I’ll leave that up to the professionals with the precision instruments made to measure such things — the fools who think she belongs to any particular ideology are terribly mistaken. If you don’t have the brainpower to successfully extrapolate specific policies from general principles it’s impossible to behave consistently, period.

Hell I was reading something on The Daily Caller (remember that? It pretty much attained irrelevance the moment it launched) where the commenters were all bitching about how Dubya was a progressive because he failed to have a small, non-interventionist government that balanced its budget. It made me dizzy just reading it, but it’s the same effect as the Palin thing — she and Dubya are too dumb to understand where their ideologies start and end.

Also, we live in a nation of idiots.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 7:08 pm

My eight balls have tiny golden parachutes, just in case.

chascates January 21, 2010 at 7:17 pm

Will Palin actually speak to a public gathering for McCain, Bachmann, and Perry or more likely have a closed event with no media, no non-English speakers, and Todd checking the list to make sure no unfriendly bloggers show up?

Her ghostwriters do great on Facebook and her WSJ op-eds but Palin Live is Palin Unhinged.

Mr Blifil January 21, 2010 at 7:21 pm

As part of a plea bargain the Jets fan was sentenced to 2 weeks in Rex Ryan’s beach ball belly.

Darkness January 21, 2010 at 7:34 pm

Obama’s tyrannical One World Nation.

So, where does this shit come from? Really. This is an honest question.

Or is it just that to the loons out there that eating Dijon mustard on a hotdog equals empowering the fucking Illuminati?

Crow T. Robot January 21, 2010 at 9:25 pm


I really wanted to comment on the story above, but Riley seemed like he could use some love.

…what I’ve found, in my personal experience, is that I’m not a good cocaine owner. If you’ve got some, and want to share it with me, I won’t stop you, but srssly, I shouldn’t keep the stuff around. Stuff I’ll kill me.

That being said, just seeing the phrase “”That’s what, maybe 20,000,000 eight balls?”–gets me all excited ’till I remember the death part.

Beanball January 21, 2010 at 10:29 pm

Well, Obama and I agree on one thing, at least; we both hate Harry Reid.

Beanball January 21, 2010 at 10:34 pm

[re=499172]Darkness[/re]: Dijon mustard was invented by French’s of Kansas City, Missouri.


rmontcal January 22, 2010 at 12:40 am

I was randomly reading bits and pieces of AutoInnovation and I DO NOT WANT brighter headlamps on any cars! The ability to see at night becomes a ZERO SUM GAME when your one million candlepower headlights blind me and I swerve into a ditch.

F you, Car Lobby, but then again, thanks for paying for free Wonkette for me. And green is my favorite color, although you aren’t fooling anyone.

unprotoize January 22, 2010 at 3:00 am

No. No. I am not fucking doing it. I am not clicking on another The Corner link. Not today. Those ridiculous morons are not going to wrest another page view count outta me.

Extemporanus January 22, 2010 at 5:13 am

[re=499210]Crow T. Robot[/re]: Wait…what? Cocaine?

Major kudos on your candor, Crow, but I totally thought that Intern Riley was referring to “magic” eight balls.

I’m more often than not gleefully knee-deep in booger sugar, but when it comes to them ink-filled VoodooNutz®, I make it a point to steer the fuck clear.

contentsunderpressure January 22, 2010 at 6:43 am
Larry McAwful January 22, 2010 at 8:52 am

If John Edwards were the great psychic he claims to be on TV, he would have seen this scandal coming and done something to avert it. He didn’t, which is why it’s obvious that he’s a fraud.

Gumboz1953 January 22, 2010 at 9:54 am

WTF was up with that arrest? California must be run by a Nazi! . . . Oh, wait…

JadedDIssonance January 22, 2010 at 10:07 am

wow Riley, that Hot Air thingie has the most precious comments! You should feature some infighting…

Accordion-o-rama January 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm

[re=499152]Extemporanus[/re]: Boy, talking about gilding the scrota.

libwakman January 26, 2010 at 6:33 am

Dijon mustard is for elitist faggot commie bitch punks. A real ordinary Joe like me goes for the plain brown mans mustard in the squeeze bottle cause’ it reminds me of pumping a load out of Reagans nuts.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: