New Zealanders Won’t Fight Our War In Afghanistan With The Christ-Themed Guns We Gave Them

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New Zealand, the “Australia of the South Pacific,” is very upset with the guns its troops are using in Afghanistan. The American-made guns feature inscriptions that refer to passages in the Bible. Reports the Washington Post: “Markings included ‘JN8:12,’ a reference to John 8:12: ‘Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.'” This is all part of our country’s famous “democratize by numbers” strategy for Afghanistan.

Imagine all this, said in an Australian accent or whatever:

New Zealand defense force spokesman Maj. Kristian Dunne said that Trijicon would be instructed to remove the inscriptions from further orders of the gun sights for New Zealand and that the letters would be removed from gun sights already in use by troops.

“The inscriptions … put us in a difficult situation. We were unaware of it and we’re unhappy that the manufacturer didn’t give us any indication that these were on there,” Dunne said. “We deem them to be inappropriate.”

Hilarious, right? Anyway, New Zealand is being downright un-American.

[Washington Post]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • PsycGirl

    Wouldn’t the supposed meaning of these inscriptions discourage the use of a gun?

  • Jim Demintia


  • Schmannity

    They will beat their plowshares into swords

  • hoosiermama


    That’s all I have to say.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    I’m moving to New Zealand. What’s their immigration policy?

  • Sussemilch

    Praise the lord and pass the ammo

  • PsycGirl

    Oh, wait. “Markings included ‘JN8:12’ ” This really means “John ate twelve”. Probably has to do with a bar bet and John Edwards. Yeah, New Zealand should scrub that.

  • Norbert

    “We deem them to be inappropriate” — this stinging rebuke smacks of radicalism of the worst kind. Get me the file on Al-Qaeda in New Zealand and see if we have anything on this “Dunne”

  • southern mark smith

    [re=498542]PsycGirl[/re]: or Jon ate Kate, all eight children, two cameramen and a producer.

  • charlesdegoal

    Ezekiel 25:17 would be far more appropriate and in the true spirit of the act

  • gurukalehuru

    Wine and cheeses, wine and cheeses
    go together like guns and Jesus
    go fuck your mother
    you can’t have one without the other

    I don’t know about that 3rd line, but I wanted it to rhyme without just being a copy.

  • Terry

    So, have the Internet Detectives ™ found any interesting info on Trijicon yet?

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Huh, I was just saying last night that I really hope NZ hurries up and OK’s my application for permanent residency. Now I REALLY REALLY hope that.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I say we only agree to take the bible verses off the gunsights if the Afghans take their Qur’anic verses off the hash they send over here. What?

  • OReillysVibrator

    Agh. Obama! I long for the days where we all thought you were a Muslim.

  • FlownOver

    Is this the way teh Wonkett looks on Pandora?

  • JMP

    The military has certainly done a great job stopping the perception among many Muslims that Iraq & Afghanistan are part of a Christian war against Islam, like a new Crusade.

    Trijicon had better hurry up in getting rid of that ship and shipping the guns to New Zealand; they are facing a major Orc and Uruk-Hai incursion right now, and need all the weapons they can get.

  • dum librul

    The New Zealand ambassador’s actual words were “good luck without me, ya turrrkeys!”

  • proudgrampa

    [re=498549]Terry[/re]: From Trijicon’s values statement:

    ” Morality
    We believe that America is great when its people are good. This goodness has been based on biblical standards throughout our history and we will strive to follow those morals.”

    Ah yes, America. When she was good, she was very good. And when she was bad, she was horrid.

  • TGY

    Perhaps Isaiah 2:4 would be more appropriate.

  • Gopherit

    WWJS? Filthy Hajis, that’s who. Leave it to bleeding-heart, athiest Kiwis to not understand.

    But seriously….they’re just going to scrape the citations from the scopes already in the field? Waste not want not, I guess.

  • bureaucrap

    They should try putting JC 12:15 on their rifles (Julia Child, Chapter 12, recipe 15): “Then grind the kiwis into a thin paste…”

  • the problem child

    Yay! Fresh employment for New Zealand’s gunsmiths! They were getting kind of anxious for something new. http://gunsmithsociety.com//component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/

  • ManchuCandidate

    This might explain why Army’s M67 Fragmentation Grenade was renamed the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

  • Whiskeybaby

    As a wonketeer originally from Australia — “the other Australia of the South Pacific” — I can confirm that Aussies/Kiwis have a deep suspicion of anything too bibley. The American brand of fundy Jesusness is considered kind of embarrassing.Think about that America…your religion is too embarrassing even for Australians. Doesn’t that just want to make you chunder? Or something. My Aussie patois is getting a little rusty…

  • ddenby

    New Zealand: Australia’s Canada.

  • hoosiermama

    [re=498575]Whiskeybaby[/re]: it makes me want to travel in a fried-out combi.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Bill O’Reilly’s Boycott of New Zealand will crush them!

  • the problem child

    [re=498576]ddenby[/re]: If you mean cleaner, cooler, less crowded, saner and more hobbits, then yes.

  • pondscum

    It’s not just a stock number? Or some kind of ratio that has to do with the site? Does everything have to be in some way bibley?

  • finallyhappy

    A state senator around here(Jamie Raskin) said “we don’t swear on the Constitution and promise to uphold the Bible” although maybe GOPers do- well, leaving out the Constitution part.

  • Decker

    New Zealand is being downright un-American.

    The secret of New Zealand’s popularity.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=498575]Whiskeybaby[/re]: That’s because America was settled at a time when England wanted to get rid of their more fanatical protestants, and Australia was founded at a time when England wanted to get rid of a lot of Irish and petty criminals(and quite often the two demographics could be represented by a single individual).
    I’d say you got the better end of the deal.

    Castro was being creative with the Mariel Boat Lift, but not original.

  • FMA

    WWJS? At this point, the way his followers are behaving, I would guess he’s one step away from climbing up the clock tower and opening fire.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Wait, where’s Neilist?

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=498575]Whiskeybaby[/re]: I think Australia comes in second in terms of most Jesus freaks per capita, at least in English speaking countires though I’m imagine Australian soilders would rather have AC/DC lyrics on their rifles than bible quotes.

    Anyways New Zealand, when God sinks your dumb country don’t come crying to us.

  • S.Luggo

    But will the rifles still Islamos? There’s the rub.

  • Woodwards Friend

    New Zealand would have aborted Trigg!

  • Autoo

    ‘Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.’

    That’s only half the verse; the rest reads: “He that that don’t followeth me gets his ass blowed off my superior Christian firepower.”

  • Escape Goat Nation

    My guns have Nancy Drew quotes on them.

  • Paul Tardy

    The good news is … I got one!!!!!

    When are they going to get ride of that cross on the glass thing you look through. I’m surprised Jews did not complain as crosses seem to be on most scopes. Shouldn’t Jews have menorah scopes? Chabad should look into this. Even Israeli snipers have to spend all day looking at a Jesus cross.

  • CthuNHu

    So the Kiwis are going to file off and replace every PS137:9 with NOH8?

    Bleedin’ degenerate atheist hippies.

  • teebob2000

    Saw this on Rachel. This is so fucking sick. This, and that Erikkk von Blackwater or whatever that fuck’s name is, his providentially directed mission in life of killing muslins in the name of baby Jeebus.

  • S.Luggo

    “Statement from Trijicon, Inc.
    Wednesday, January 20, 2010—For two generations Trijicon, a Michigan-based family owned business, has been working to provide America’s military men and women with high quality, innovative sighting systems for the weapons they use. Our effort is simple and straightforward: to help our servicemen and women win the war on terror and come home safe to their families. As part of our faith and our belief in service to our country, Trijicon has put scripture references on our products for more than two decades. As long as we have men and women in danger, we will continue to do everything we can to provide them with both state-of-the-art technology and the never-ending support and prayers of a grateful nation.”

    Translation: Bite me, hippie.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    There’s too much bible that actually encourages killing and taking what doesn’t belong to you, for them to be using all that hippie Jesus junk. For example, Deuteronomy 7:2.

    Is it too much to ask that we keep the pacifist, queer-bait New Testament off our military?

  • widget09

    What a bunch of ungrateful bastards. I think it’s about time Jeebus hits New Zealand with a 9.7 magnitude earthquake.

  • Guppy06

    Violati Fulmina Iesus

  • donner_froh

    It is just and correct to use a sight without any biblical verse to line up an insurgent (or a kid carrying a stick or a cab that is going too fast) and kill them but if you kill them using a gunsight with a bible reference then it doesn’t count.

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Another of their sights includes “2COR4:6,” — “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”

    Your tax dollars at work.

  • ZombieRichardFeynman

    [re=498586]pondscum[/re]: Well, the fact that the manufacturer proudly proclaims them to be Jebus verses helps reduce the uncertainty factor. ( I can picture the Keebler Elves of the shop floor carefully chiseling the inscriptions while singing Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition.) Heartwarming.

  • One Yield Regular

    The New Zealand aspect aside, can ANYthing possibly be more American than this story? (I mean, unless they ramp it up by having Ayla Brown serve as the Trijicon spokesmodel).

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    I’d rather Ayla served as the Trojan spokesmodel.

  • Caitifty

    [re=498539]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: No Americans. :)

  • Pithaughn

    Wait a minute. A double blind scientifically designed study needs to be done to determine once and for all if putting inscriptions that appeal to a magical supernatural being really work or not. I say leave the inscriptions on but start deploying said sight without the inscription and then when the two populations are statistically equal , study which population is more accurate.

  • CthuNHu

    State-sponsored Christianity: Interpreting the life of Jesus as a call to glorious warfare since 312 AD.

  • dijetlo

    Psalm 144:1-2
    Blessed be the LORD, my rock, Who trains my hands for war, And my fingers for battle; My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield,

    Speaking as one of Wonkettes resident Talibangelicals, going NT with this is nearly as dumb as Brother Mark quoting Samuel when he got caught hiking the Appalachian Trail.
    The thing I find so confusing about the conservative Talibangelicals is that for all the thumping and the waving, they never seem to have gotten around to reading the bible.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    God will vent his wrath on the heathen Kiwi with a plague of sheep.

  • JMP

    [re=498599]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He doesn’t usually start his trollery until the late afternoon / early evening.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    But we really knew this was the 21st. century version of The Crusades, didn’t we?

    Check this out It seems that American Officers in the field know all about this. From a letter written by an active-duty soldier: “the senior NCO said that the private’s rifle was also something else; that because of the biblical quote on the ACOG gunsight it had been “spiritually transformed into the Fire Arm of Jesus Christ” and that we would be expected to kill every “haji” we could find with it.”

    Seems the Pentagon is going to “talk to” Trijicon about this.

  • imissopus

    [re=498599]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I was just thinking that as I scrolled through the comments. I’m guessing he’s too busy ordering a dozen to trifle with us. Check back later today, I’m sure he’ll have added something pithy to the conversation.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    Fifth: Thou shall not kill.

    Fixed: Thou shall not kill unborn fetuses. Everyone else is fair game if you kill in My name.

  • the problem child

    [re=498712]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: This thread can now officially close. Thank you.

  • Gun-toting Progressive

    And I happen to be in the market for some new sights. Guess I can cross Trijicon off my shopping list. I never liked them much, as the “iji” in the name creates too many dots. Just doesn’t look right…

  • SendLawyersGunsAndMoney

    Jesus is coming back and kicking the God-less New Zealanders’ asses, and foretold in Revelations. Fuckin’ pagans…

  • Gorillionaire

    Good thing for New Zealand that most Americans will never figure out where it is.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=498684]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]:“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts…

    You’d think they’d put that one on a Laser scope, or a night-vision scope.

  • Flanders

    [re=498544]Norbert[/re]: You’re being inappropriate, Larry.

  • Snarkalicious

    Most people hate the Australians. I don’t. They’re just wankers.

  • Marlowe

    The Christian Phalange that the Israelis sent into the Sabra and Shatila refugee camps had iconic pictures of the Virgin Mary taped to the stocks of the guns they used to kill 2000 Palestinian civilians.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Silly American arms manufacture.

    Everyone knows the only way you can kill a Muslim is with a cross, holy water, or a silver bullet.

  • Hello Sunshine

    Meanwhile, the British Army didn’t notice the markings in the first place, and when it had them pointed out to them merely responded with “Meh”.

  • SmutBoffin

    If you kill a muslim with one of these Jesus-guns, which heaven do they go to?

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=498754]Hello Sunshine[/re]: The Daily Mail is not exactly that reliable.

  • doloras

    Wow, I always get a thrill when people in the real world notice that the tiny backwater where I live exists, but how can we be “godless hippies” when we’re in Afghanistan killing Muslims for Jeebus and Barry O? The New Zealand Army (aka “three guys and a truck”) obviously doesn’t like the idea of Jeebus-themed gunsights, but has no objection to murdering Afghans with totally secular firearms.

    That said, the only reason the New Zealand Army exists is so it can be sent to fight US America’s wars, for the purposes of… I believe you would call it “sucking up”.

  • Neilist

    Trijicon makes GREAT sights — although they are a bit expensive. But if you’re gunning down a MOOSE-lim “terrorist” in low-light conditions, it pays to use the very best.

    And if things go sideways, the radioactive material that makes the sight “glow” can be used as a nightlight.

  • Gorillionaire

    [re=498767]Neilist[/re]: I just don’t get this. I mean, it would be “sporting” only if the moose had some kind of invisble sheild fur and deadly laser eyes that could cut a hunter in half if he blinked. What the hell is so satisfying about taking a couple thousand dollars worth of high tech gear out to kill a critter that is just standing there munching some grass.

  • Extemporanus

    Fer chrissakes, New Zealand!

    Fucking Gandalf has “Olca Ammë Melindo” engraved on his staff, and I don’t recall any secular Kiwi-ists complaining about that when it came time to kick ür-Orc ass.

  • Mad Brahms

    What a pussy bible passage to put on a gun-sight. What ever happened to “I shall strike you down with terrible vengeance, and you shall know my name is the Lord, and also, give me a bit of that cheeseburger”? Lame.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=498798]Mad Brahms[/re]: [re=498791]Extemporanus[/re]: HA!

    “Olca Ammë Melindo” is Elvish, roughly, for “Bad Mother Fucker”!

  • What Fresh Hell is This?

    Now you want Bible verses to inscribe on your guns? How about I Samuel 6:4-5:
    “They asked, “What is the indemnity that we should pay to Him?” They answered, “Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice….You shall make figures of your hemorrhoids and of the mice that are ravaging your land; thus you shall honor the God of Israel, and perhaps He will lighten the weight of His hand upon you and your gods and your land.”


    You mean that after Flight of the Conchords no one saw this coming?

  • Guppy06

    [re=498764]doloras[/re]: I thought you spent your time sucking up to Australia, since they don’t have a nuclear navy.

  • TGY

    “…who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.”


  • comicbookguy

    Blessed are the cheese makers?

  • Joey Ratz

    [re=498548]gurukalehuru[/re]: *sniff* That was… beautiful.

    [re=498564]proudgrampa[/re]: Wait, a gun-sight manufacturer has a values and morality policy? What?

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=498651]teebob2000[/re]: Prince Erikkk has devoted his life to killing muslins and now thanks to the SCOTUS he has 10 million votes for new wars. Who was it that asked when we would see corporations form their own militia’s to war with the gubbermint? Xe Hah Ya All!

  • schvitzatura

    Is this any worse than, say, the pork/beef fat greasing on the P53 (.577 Ball) Enfield paper catouches issued to Muslim/Hindu sepoy debacle that sparked the Indian Rebellion of 1857?

    America Raj #1!

  • Darkness

    [re=498764]doloras[/re]: It’s important for you guys to suck up though. Someone might discover oil, or uranium in your country and it’s good if at least a handful of American’s remember that you weren’t supposed to be just a bombing range. Knowing the Aussies, they’d probably be sending the U.S. the latest satellite pics of your place.

  • Neilist

    [re=498790]Gorillionaire[/re]: MOOSE-LIMS worship the HORNS of SATAN!!!! And if you don’t shoot them to stop the BULL, your uniform will get all WINKLED!

    (I know, I know. Not my best effort. I’ll just go back to being an asshole.)

    Seriously, though. They make great sights. Really expensive, but great.

  • slinkimalinki

    “The unscruptions … put us in a dufficult sutuation. We were unaware of ut and we’re unhappy thut the manufacturer dudn’t give us any undication that these were on there,” Dunne said. “We deem them to be unappropriate.”
    accentified that for ya.
    p.s. any americans wanting to come over? you’re welcome if you have $$$.

  • HonestInjun

    Who says NZ is unreligulous? Everyone here gets Good Friday and Easter Monday off.

  • Darkness

    [re=498585]the problem child[/re]: You left out “sufficient fresh water to sustain human life”.

  • desertwind

    Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.

  • Robert Zimmerframe

    Anyone else think this NZ marine looks like Russell Crowe (also from NZ)?


  • slinkimalinki

    [re=499227]Robert Zimmerframe[/re]: i’ve never been entirely sure what a marine actually is.

  • Robert Zimmerframe

    He’s SAS, which is the equivalent (I think). I bet that gun nut who posts here knows.