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Conan O’Brien Gets Ted Kennedy’s Old Senate Seat Too!

  • Everyone’s threatening Facebook statuses worked!! NBC will pay Conan O’Brien $33 million dollars, and he can go back home to the television in eight months. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Obama has decided that our country’s commercial banks can’t be as big as they want or trade for their own accounts, which is a thing that’s problematic, because of economics. [New York Times]
  • The new post-Scott Brown health care bill will have to take Scott Brown’s existence into account. Sad. [AP]
  • The Prince of Dubai restructured his country’s government. It will be organized vertically, and will now be the world’s tallest legislative body. [Wall Street Journal]
  • Obama’s first-round draft pick for Transportation Security Administration leadership has withdrawn his name from consideration. He used a federal database to stalk his wife’s boyfriend, is the thing with him. [Washington Post]
  • 23 Mexican prisoners died at a riot in a Mexican prison. [CNN]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner
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15 comments

  1. Mild Midwesterner

    I need to move to New York, where if you’re not getting a massive bank bonus then you’re getting paid $33 million to not work for 8 months.

  2. charlesdegoal

    They died at a riot like Haitians died at an earthquake. They all should have staid home rather than attend uprisings or natural disasters.

  3. Terry

    Stalked his wife’s boyfriend? Or is that his ex-wife’s boyfriend? Either way, he wasn’t thinking with his brain at the time. Not an excuse, but seems to be somewhat typical male behavior.

    Why do nominees lie? Don’t they realize that people with a lot of time on their hands or who are paid to do so check the details?

  4. Terry

    On another subject, the green background is tres festive! Perhaps you should put it up in March, too.

  5. norbizness

    It’s a good thing that Conan’s fan base is so internet-savvy; I think most of Leno’s fans’ computers are still blinking “12:00″.

  6. JMP

    Good way to contractually protect Leno’s horrible show from competition from the man he screwed over for six months, NBC. Well, at least Letterman and Colbert are on at the time so there’s still something watchable on.

    [re=498499]norbizness[/re]: Most of Leno’s fans refer to computers as “the AOL machine”.

  7. norbizness

    SINGLE MOM DISCOVERS 1 SIMPLETRICK TO TURN YELLOW TEETH WHITE

    Is it Nancy Kwan’s Pearl Cream?

  8. Paul Tardy

    I think it is time for the NYS Comedian Contract Termination Tax. Very progressive, just like New York, 0% 0n the first million, 100% 90% after that.

  9. Lascauxcaveman

    “NBC will pay Conan O’Brien $33 million dollars, and he can go back home to the television in eight months.”

    My last termination/non-compete agreement was very similar to that, only change the “eight months” part to “12 months,” and the “pay $33 million” part to “we don’t sue you.”

  10. hunter.blatherer

    I am going to start using the phrase “is the thing with (him) (her) (ze) (etc).” Sooo many possibilities. Thank you Juli.

Comments are closed.