False American idol.
Listen, Senator Scott, unless you want your senatorial daughters to end up like old what’s-his-name’s nutty daughter with the boobs and the retractable regrettable Twittering, it’s time to cover up those gals and live like a real Republican.

You’ve already got the naked dudes thing all figured out, but the “sexy womens in, uhh, clam-shell bikini tops,” that is a no-go with the GOP. May peace be upon Wonkette Commenter THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH for this artwork, which he made using only pictures from the Twitter version of the Koran.

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  1. I, for one, welcome our new nude Republican overlords. I sort of imagine that the halls of Congress will soon be like that bit in Amazon Women from the Moon.

  2. I’m still laughing from the original thread, but caveat emptor, I hope this isn’t fatwah material for some of our more serious oil-laden friends.

  3. Strangely I am more comfortable with this picture than the former shell-boobs. Probably because my father would have ripped those off and made us stand nekkid on the front porch to be eaten alive by mosquitoes in full view of the neighbors, rather than allow a photo like that. He’s an asshole. So is this guy. Thanks for the Burq-ee do-up on this one. What can Brown do for you?

  4. Hi, I’m Senator Teabag, and yoooouuuu (scans pointer finger across crowd) are the machine!!
    I know I’m not supposed to say this.. but “I Love My Wife”, who you may recognize from News at 10 on channel 5!
    Speaking of talking heads, my two daughters are available if the price is right!!
    Just kidding! One of them has a ‘Boyfriend’! Whatever!
    I am so honored to take the seat that was once kept so warm for so long by the dearly departed Teddy Kennedy.
    May he rest in peace! And now my very telegenic family has to party hardy! Yess!!

  5. [re=498435]Guppy06[/re]: But with either, why goshdarn would you want to? Beck would be there to preside over the ceremony as he weeps during his menstrual period. Limpbaugh would eat all of baby doves and invite the ushers over to teh rubber rooms (with drains) of his mansion for a boyz-will-be-boyz sweat lodge Dominican holiday.

  6. [re=498441]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Which choice?

    [re=498437]Guppy06[/re]: If you are an islamo-terrorcyst, everything matches.

    Black is black, I want my baby back.

  7. [re=498410]chascates[/re]: [re=498435]Guppy06[/re]: Of course the females are available for Mut’ah my friends – but now Sheik Brown only accepts dowries of gold, jewels, camels and petroleum, as Allah (and the Saudi Sheiks who own befriend all Republican federal officials) intended…

  8. In other political news John Edwards is poised to release a statement that he is the father of Riselle Hunter’s child. His former personal aide Andrew Young is to say he stated he was the father as a favor to Edwards in an upcoming ABC interview. And Young wrote a book on the subject to be released Feb. 2.

    So more bad news for the Democrats and a plus for the authors of Game Change. Now if only Scott Brown has anything on the side . . .

  9. And, regarding the ‘available’ statement:

    “My jaw dropped,” said Ayla on Wednesday. “I was like, that definitely wasn’t in the script!” But her dad is always doing things like that, she added. He even asked fellow Republican Mitt Romney, a former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate, “if he had any more sons he could sell me to,” Ayla quipped. “He said, ‘please … she’ll convert to a Mormon!”

  10. Alright, you guys.

    I think it’s about time we cut the flesh-baring Brown girls some slack in regards to their flesh-baring, Brown girl ways.

    Seriously, do you have any idea how almost totally impossible it is to find an off-the-rack, extra long, clam shell-style burqini in the middle of freakin’ January?

    I mean, maybe if you lived in Dearborn, Michigan, or somewhere like, oh, I dunno, Qatar, perhaps, there might exist a very remote possibility that you could pick one up, used, at Goodwill, or St. Vinnies, or a mosque fundraiser, or some such shit.

    But in Massafreakinchusetts? In January?! No way, dude.

    No. Freakin’. Way.

  11. The crowd at the Sturgis bikefest will go apeshit over these two. Meghan may think of liposuction. Bill Kristol may forget about Sarah Palin. Hell, Todd might as well.

  12. [re=498464]Extemporanus[/re]: There are more than a few Muslim immigrants down here, and it’s High Summer right now… so be careful what you wish for, mate…

  13. [re=498466]Bearbloke[/re]: I’m not entirely clear what element of my previous comment implied that I was wishing for something (and moreover, what that something might have been), but I will heed your sage advice and be careful nonetheless, if for no other reason than it isn’t raining 24-7 on your arse-end of the globe like it is on mine (my friend’s apartment is hours away from sliding into the ocean, hahaha!) and therefore your demeanor is no doubt a wee bit more “High Summer-y” and stable than is mine.

    Also, this burqini-clad Sheila lifeguard is kinda cute and could probably kick my ass, tacky opportunistic DHL advert outfit notwithstanding.


    The punchline is: their victorious daddy is with the same GOP that was comparing itself to the Taliban a year or so ago, saying they needed to use them as role-models!

    It’s funny because it’s true!

  15. If Senator Centerfold does decide that this is his moment of destiny, he’ll be up against Rick (Santorum) Santorum.
    Brown’s hottie daughters (Oh, yeah, I’d hit either or both) will bring total humiliation and public embarrassment on the Santorum brood.

    And really, guys, snark’s snark, but it was a pretty innocent photo.

  16. [re=498460]chascates[/re]: Not really bad news for Dems, per se; John’s been on the outs in the party for some time. Of course, still doesn’t mean that Bill-O & Campbell & Wolf won’t be screeching — yes, screeching — ’bout the DEMONCRAP SEXX SCANDAL. With the scorned wife at home. With the Cancer.

    As to the former Senator’s admission: we already knew. Stop taking public relations tips from Mark Mc Gwire. Unless, of course, it’s to admit Jose Canseco was giving the little one steroid injections in the buttock. (Football is big business in the South, of course. Gotta start ’em young.)

  17. [re=498436]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Purity balls? As a head tea-bagger, I bet he’s used to having plenty of “purity balls” in his mouth.

  18. Any nubile young boys in a position to seduce Senator Brown Stripe away from his harem? Considering today’s modern GOP, we may need to add a goat to the mix.

  19. Frank Zappa saw this dude coming:

    Hey there people I’m Scotty Brown
    They say Im the cutest boy in town
    My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
    I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
    Here I am at a famous school
    Im dressin sharp and I’m Actin cool
    I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
    Let her do all the work n maybe later I’ll rape her

    Oh God I am the american dream
    I do not think Im too extreme
    An Im a handsome sonofabitch
    Im gonna get a good job n be real rich

    (get a good
    Get a good
    Get a good
    Get a good job)

    Womens liberation
    Came creepin across the nation
    I tell you people I was not ready
    When I fucked this dyke by the name of freddie
    She made a little speech then,
    Aw, she tried to make me say when
    She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
    I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

    Oh God I am the american dream
    But now I smell like vaseline
    An Im a miserable sonofabitch
    Am I a boy or a lady…i don’t know which

    (I wonder wonder
    Wonder wonder)

    So I went out n bought me a leisure suit
    I jingle my change, but Im still kinda cute
    Got a job doin radio promo
    An none of the jocks can even tell Im a homo
    Eventually me n a friend
    Sorta drifted along into s&m
    I can take about an hour on the tower of power
    Long as I gets a little golden shower

    Oh God I am the american dream
    With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
    An I’ll do anything to get ahead
    I lay awake nights sayin, thank you, fred!
    Oh god, oh god, Im so fantastic!
    Thanks to freddie, Im a sexual spastic
    And my name is Scotty Brown
    Watch me now, Im goin down,
    And my name is Scotty brown

  20. [re=498475]gurukalehuru[/re]: “innocent” my ASS. No father in his right mind would let his daughters run around nekkid like that, much less POSE with them. That, Sir, is a man who if not actively molesting his daughters, is at least fantasizing about it.


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