MORAL OUTRAGES  10:31 pm January 20, 2010

Scott Brown, Cover Up Those Daughters!

by Ken Layne

False American idol.
Listen, Senator Scott, unless you want your senatorial daughters to end up like old what’s-his-name’s nutty daughter with the boobs and the retractable regrettable Twittering, it’s time to cover up those gals and live like a real Republican.

You’ve already got the naked dudes thing all figured out, but the “sexy womens in, uhh, clam-shell bikini tops,” that is a no-go with the GOP. May peace be upon Wonkette Commenter THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH for this artwork, which he made using only pictures from the Twitter version of the Koran.

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memzilla January 20, 2010 at 10:36 pm

Burqa? I hardly knew her!

rocktonsammy January 20, 2010 at 10:39 pm

So over the Bush twins!

Long Form Def Certificate January 20, 2010 at 10:42 pm

HJ means Hijab.

chascates January 20, 2010 at 10:43 pm

But they’re still available, right?

shortsshortsshorts January 20, 2010 at 10:54 pm

[re=498410]chascates[/re]: AVAILABLE? Please, you know the term loose lips goes two ways.

Wait what?

S.Luggo January 20, 2010 at 10:55 pm

Excellent daughter-dad jahadi portrait in a TeaBag re-education camp module.

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 20, 2010 at 11:05 pm

I, for one, welcome our new nude Republican overlords. I sort of imagine that the halls of Congress will soon be like that bit in Amazon Women from the Moon.

Radiotherapy January 20, 2010 at 11:15 pm

I’m still laughing from the original thread, but caveat emptor, I hope this isn’t fatwah material for some of our more serious oil-laden friends.

Mr Blifil January 20, 2010 at 11:18 pm

They will still beat Obama like a girl on the B-Ball court, Allah willing…

S.Luggo January 20, 2010 at 11:21 pm

Under certain interpretations of the pronouncements of the Council of Trent.
Dang. I needs me one of them Electronical Cigarettes now.

PS: The AC/DC version is better.

Aurelio January 20, 2010 at 11:24 pm

Can’t pimp no hos in them getups, fool!

Boondock Saint January 20, 2010 at 11:24 pm

I want to put the shells to my, um, EAR and see if I can hear the ocean. over the screams. Also.

MBritt January 20, 2010 at 11:27 pm

Strangely I am more comfortable with this picture than the former shell-boobs. Probably because my father would have ripped those off and made us stand nekkid on the front porch to be eaten alive by mosquitoes in full view of the neighbors, rather than allow a photo like that. He’s an asshole. So is this guy. Thanks for the Burq-ee do-up on this one. What can Brown do for you?

iburl January 20, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Hi, I’m Senator Teabag, and yoooouuuu (scans pointer finger across crowd) are the machine!!
I know I’m not supposed to say this.. but “I Love My Wife”, who you may recognize from News at 10 on channel 5!
Speaking of talking heads, my two daughters are available if the price is right!!
Just kidding! One of them has a ‘Boyfriend’! Whatever!
I am so honored to take the seat that was once kept so warm for so long by the dearly departed Teddy Kennedy.
May he rest in peace! And now my very telegenic family has to party hardy! Yess!!

S.Luggo January 20, 2010 at 11:29 pm

[re=498425]Mr Blifil[/re]: Not if Tiny Ballerina 9-fingers is on the court. He’ll fake left, fake left, fake left, then go right.

El Pinche January 20, 2010 at 11:35 pm


Guppy06 January 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm

They’re Muslim? That means I can buy and marry both!

Texan Bulldoggette January 20, 2010 at 11:42 pm

He just needs to attend a purity ball with them; then all will be right in the GOP world.

Guppy06 January 20, 2010 at 11:46 pm

[re=498436]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He needs to get them dolls with matching outfits.

qaf January 20, 2010 at 11:47 pm

I like to think of him as Brown 25.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2010 at 11:51 pm

I’m just glad to see the Republicans elect someone who’s in favor of an exception for rape and incest. And I also hear he’s pro-choice.

S.Luggo January 20, 2010 at 11:57 pm

[re=498435]Guppy06[/re]: But with either, why goshdarn would you want to? Beck would be there to preside over the ceremony as he weeps during his menstrual period. Limpbaugh would eat all of baby doves and invite the ushers over to teh rubber rooms (with drains) of his mansion for a boyz-will-be-boyz sweat lodge Dominican holiday.

Paul Tardy January 21, 2010 at 12:02 am

We’re faghtin this wer so his girls can run about half neekid. God Bless

S.Luggo January 21, 2010 at 12:05 am

[re=498441]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Which choice?

[re=498437]Guppy06[/re]: If you are an islamo-terrorcyst, everything matches.

Black is black, I want my baby back.

S.Luggo January 21, 2010 at 12:07 am

[re=498427]Aurelio[/re]: Mikey?

SayItWithWookies January 21, 2010 at 12:14 am

[re=498445]S.Luggo[/re]: All of them, Katie.

Bearbloke January 21, 2010 at 1:17 am

[re=498410]chascates[/re]: [re=498435]Guppy06[/re]: Of course the females are available for Mut’ah my friends – but now Sheik Brown only accepts dowries of gold, jewels, camels and petroleum, as Allah (and the Saudi Sheiks who own befriend all Republican federal officials) intended…

Radiotherapy January 21, 2010 at 1:28 am

[re=498449]Bearbloke[/re]: FUCKING MUT’AH FUCKERS

give us a bob January 21, 2010 at 1:30 am

[re=498425]Mr Blifil[/re]: you mean with these guys?

Wigger, please.

chascates January 21, 2010 at 2:18 am

In other political news John Edwards is poised to release a statement that he is the father of Riselle Hunter’s child. His former personal aide Andrew Young is to say he stated he was the father as a favor to Edwards in an upcoming ABC interview. And Young wrote a book on the subject to be released Feb. 2.

So more bad news for the Democrats and a plus for the authors of Game Change. Now if only Scott Brown has anything on the side . . .

chascates January 21, 2010 at 2:29 am

And, regarding the ‘available’ statement:

“My jaw dropped,” said Ayla on Wednesday. “I was like, that definitely wasn’t in the script!” But her dad is always doing things like that, she added. He even asked fellow Republican Mitt Romney, a former Massachusetts governor and presidential candidate, “if he had any more sons he could sell me to,” Ayla quipped. “He said, ‘please … she’ll convert to a Mormon!”

Bearbloke January 21, 2010 at 2:54 am

[re=498461]chascates[/re]: SIR!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. January 21, 2010 at 2:59 am

[re=498461]chascates[/re]: I loved the time her father sold her in Morocco while he was modeling.

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 3:50 am

Alright, you guys.

I think it’s about time we cut the flesh-baring Brown girls some slack in regards to their flesh-baring, Brown girl ways.

Seriously, do you have any idea how almost totally impossible it is to find an off-the-rack, extra long, clam shell-style burqini in the middle of freakin’ January?

I mean, maybe if you lived in Dearborn, Michigan, or somewhere like, oh, I dunno, Qatar, perhaps, there might exist a very remote possibility that you could pick one up, used, at Goodwill, or St. Vinnies, or a mosque fundraiser, or some such shit.

But in Massafreakinchusetts? In January?! No way, dude.

No. Freakin’. Way.

chascates January 21, 2010 at 4:05 am

The crowd at the Sturgis bikefest will go apeshit over these two. Meghan may think of liposuction. Bill Kristol may forget about Sarah Palin. Hell, Todd might as well.

Bearbloke January 21, 2010 at 4:18 am

[re=498464]Extemporanus[/re]: There are more than a few Muslim immigrants down here, and it’s High Summer right now… so be careful what you wish for, mate…

Extemporanus January 21, 2010 at 4:47 am

[re=498466]Bearbloke[/re]: I’m not entirely clear what element of my previous comment implied that I was wishing for something (and moreover, what that something might have been), but I will heed your sage advice and be careful nonetheless, if for no other reason than it isn’t raining 24-7 on your arse-end of the globe like it is on mine (my friend’s apartment is hours away from sliding into the ocean, hahaha!) and therefore your demeanor is no doubt a wee bit more “High Summer-y” and stable than is mine.

Also, this burqini-clad Sheila lifeguard is kinda cute and could probably kick my ass, tacky opportunistic DHL advert outfit notwithstanding.

Bearbloke January 21, 2010 at 4:57 am

[re=498467]Extemporanus[/re]: Indeed, the advert is quite tacky, seeing as how she could be sponsored by Hooters instead!

lulzmonger January 21, 2010 at 5:41 am


The punchline is: their victorious daddy is with the same GOP that was comparing itself to the Taliban a year or so ago, saying they needed to use them as role-models!

It’s funny because it’s true!

gurukalehuru January 21, 2010 at 6:26 am

If Senator Centerfold does decide that this is his moment of destiny, he’ll be up against Rick (Santorum) Santorum.
Brown’s hottie daughters (Oh, yeah, I’d hit either or both) will bring total humiliation and public embarrassment on the Santorum brood.

And really, guys, snark’s snark, but it was a pretty innocent photo.

plowman January 21, 2010 at 7:35 am

These Brown girls just aren’t optioned to compete with Meghan’s rack…

Way Cool Larry January 21, 2010 at 7:58 am

[re=498449]Bearbloke[/re]: Mut’ah! Finally a good reason to go muslin!

Way Cool Larry January 21, 2010 at 8:03 am

[re=498472]lulzmonger[/re]: are you ululzating?

the problem child January 21, 2010 at 8:24 am

Mullah Brown, I’m in love with your daughter.
Yeah, the one with the champagne eyes.

Diana Davies January 21, 2010 at 8:25 am

[re=498478]plowman[/re]: True. Volkswagens just can’t compete with Winnebagos.

Long Form Def Certificate January 21, 2010 at 8:26 am

[re=498460]chascates[/re]: Not really bad news for Dems, per se; John’s been on the outs in the party for some time. Of course, still doesn’t mean that Bill-O & Campbell & Wolf won’t be screeching — yes, screeching — ’bout the DEMONCRAP SEXX SCANDAL. With the scorned wife at home. With the Cancer.

As to the former Senator’s admission: we already knew. Stop taking public relations tips from Mark Mc Gwire. Unless, of course, it’s to admit Jose Canseco was giving the little one steroid injections in the buttock. (Football is big business in the South, of course. Gotta start ‘em young.)

Sparky McGruff January 21, 2010 at 8:58 am

[re=498436]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Purity balls? As a head tea-bagger, I bet he’s used to having plenty of “purity balls” in his mouth.

PlanetWingnuta January 21, 2010 at 9:20 am

[re=498489]Sparky McGruff[/re]: I would like to see balls in his mouth…

stew January 21, 2010 at 9:25 am

Something about repub politicians and their unstable, hypersexual, partygirl daughters. Larry Flynt might want to explore this phenomena.

Potater January 21, 2010 at 9:41 am

Any nubile young boys in a position to seduce Senator Brown Stripe away from his harem? Considering today’s modern GOP, we may need to add a goat to the mix.

Potater January 21, 2010 at 9:44 am

[re=498497]stew[/re]: What do you expect when their daddies pay more attention to the cabana boy than to them?

Mr. Tusks January 21, 2010 at 10:01 am


Prommie January 21, 2010 at 10:09 am

Frank Zappa saw this dude coming:

Hey there people I’m Scotty Brown
They say Im the cutest boy in town
My car is fast, my teeth is shiney
I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie
Here I am at a famous school
Im dressin sharp and I’m Actin cool
I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper
Let her do all the work n maybe later I’ll rape her

Oh God I am the american dream
I do not think Im too extreme
An Im a handsome sonofabitch
Im gonna get a good job n be real rich

(get a good
Get a good
Get a good
Get a good job)

Womens liberation
Came creepin across the nation
I tell you people I was not ready
When I fucked this dyke by the name of freddie
She made a little speech then,
Aw, she tried to make me say when
She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick
I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God I am the american dream
But now I smell like vaseline
An Im a miserable sonofabitch
Am I a boy or a lady…i don’t know which

(I wonder wonder
Wonder wonder)

So I went out n bought me a leisure suit
I jingle my change, but Im still kinda cute
Got a job doin radio promo
An none of the jocks can even tell Im a homo
Eventually me n a friend
Sorta drifted along into s&m
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
Long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God I am the american dream
With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream
An I’ll do anything to get ahead
I lay awake nights sayin, thank you, fred!
Oh god, oh god, Im so fantastic!
Thanks to freddie, Im a sexual spastic
And my name is Scotty Brown
Watch me now, Im goin down,
And my name is Scotty brown

TGY January 21, 2010 at 10:12 am

What a wonderful new concept: burqa-bling.

skyinator January 21, 2010 at 10:36 am

“Mr. Brown You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter.” – Herman’s Hermits.

JesusButter January 21, 2010 at 11:10 am

[re=498475]gurukalehuru[/re]: “innocent” my ASS. No father in his right mind would let his daughters run around nekkid like that, much less POSE with them. That, Sir, is a man who if not actively molesting his daughters, is at least fantasizing about it.

yellowdogdem January 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=498464]Extemporanus[/re]: Clearly you don’t know Massachusetts. Gets up to 35 degrees, you see people on the streets in shorts.

THE PROPHET MUHAMMED PBUH January 21, 2010 at 4:11 pm


Rolf January 27, 2010 at 1:36 am

yikes… what makes this offensive is not the burqas, but the horrible attempt with MS PAint… please don’t tell me that’s Photoshop… egh.

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