• May 26, 2012

Selfish White House Now Passing Blame Onto Innocent Animals

by Jim Newell  

Damn bears, ruining elections all the time… Thanks for nothing, Andrew Sullivan. It’s time you returned to Canada. [Reuters/NYT]

{ 37 comments }

SmutBoffin January 20, 2010 at 3:57 pm

Nothing like this has happened since President McKinley was attacked by a wild boar.

Jim Demintia January 20, 2010 at 3:57 pm

The White House also says that health care will have to wait until Scott Brown finds his chair. Which means, no more doctors, ever, for America.

jetjaguar January 20, 2010 at 3:58 pm

Well, they are the #1 threat…

Mustang January 20, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Does this mean that is Obama had posed bear like Senator Naughty, maybe he’d have his health care ducks in a row today?

american mutt January 20, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Bears! I knew it! Even when it was the immigants, I knew it was the bears.

chascates January 20, 2010 at 4:02 pm

With this loss of the vaunted ’60th’ vote can we now PLEASE tell Joe Lieberman to fuck off? Take away his chairmanship, force him to caucus with the GOP, and generally not pay any attention at all to anything he says?

Hooray For Anything January 20, 2010 at 4:02 pm

See, that’s what happens when you’re the party in power and you don’t do anything about the shortage of pic-a-nic baskets.

SayItWithWookies January 20, 2010 at 4:06 pm

And I thought they just had a bad case of the chickenshits.

Jim89048 January 20, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Colbert is vindicated.

Extemporanus January 20, 2010 at 4:07 pm

Brown bears?

Fucking pussies.

bitchincamaro January 20, 2010 at 4:08 pm

As sure as they shit in the woods.

JMP January 20, 2010 at 4:08 pm

We should have listened to Colbert’s warnings; now look what happened.

Wait, maybe the White House is blaming the Chicago Bears; although I’m not sure why, they didn’t play the Patriots last season.

Suds McKenzie January 20, 2010 at 4:09 pm

[re=498121]chascates[/re]: Revre!!

mattbolt January 20, 2010 at 4:12 pm

“Bears” as in, the kind of stocky, hairy-bellied butch dude?

Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s the one that won the election.

ForTheTurnstiles January 20, 2010 at 4:15 pm

The last bear in the senate was Larry “Wide Stance” Craig, an authentically hairy gay man. Mitch McConnell don’t count with them chins of his.

ForTheTurnstiles January 20, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=498141]mattbolt[/re]: erg, beat me to it

Extemporanus January 20, 2010 at 4:19 pm

[re=498144]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: But Mitch McConnell Ursa Major asshole.

RoscoePColtraine January 20, 2010 at 4:21 pm

I shall give our Bearbloke a chance to weigh in on this thread before I share my observations and opinions with the group.

doxastic January 20, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=498121]chascates[/re]: What I wouldn’t give to watch Republicans get Lieberman’d!

pampl January 20, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=498105]SmutBoffin[/re]: what about when Carter was attacked by the Swamp Rabbit?

sarcasticusername January 20, 2010 at 4:26 pm

someone please clue hopey in to the fact that admitting you screwed up is only respectable & endearing the first 50 or so times, after that you just become that annoying guy who constantly screws shit up.

american mutt January 20, 2010 at 4:26 pm

i hope someone gets my simpsons reference.

gonzodc January 20, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=498162]american mutt[/re]: yeah, yeah. Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.

Surfeit O' January 20, 2010 at 4:39 pm

[re=498162]american mutt[/re]: Sure, the episode where Apu was an illegal immigrant (although you’re paraphrasing Moe, who apparently also turned out to be an illegal immigrant).

I think the Democrats PREFER losing. That way they can keep milking their voters for contributions while not actually having to do anything.

Holy Cow!! January 20, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Clearly, he means the Leather Bears of San Francisco. As every Republican knows, everything is the gays’ fault.

WadISay January 20, 2010 at 4:41 pm

[re=498136]JMP[/re]: On the other hand, it wouldn’t surprise me a bit if the Cubs were responsible in some way.

Edywin January 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm

Martha Coakley: Exit pursued by BEAR!

SmutBoffin January 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm

[re=498156]pampl[/re]: But that was a big win for the Dems…

Edywin January 20, 2010 at 4:44 pm

Shakespeare must have seen this coming in “The Winter’s Tale”.

betterDeadThanRed January 20, 2010 at 4:48 pm

It’s that stupid tea party and their obsession with the Second Amendment insisting that we keep and arm bears.

JMP January 20, 2010 at 4:54 pm

Wait, maybe it was a typo and they actually blamed beers. Some of the volunteers started the celebration too early, then never got around to their get-out-the-vote efforts or even voting themselves.

PlanetWingnuta January 20, 2010 at 4:59 pm

WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!!!!!! …too soon?

dijetlo January 20, 2010 at 5:21 pm

[re=498121]chascates[/re]:

The one bright spot in this debacle. Oh yes, my friends, it is FINALLY time to go medieval on his droopy dog ass…the very next bill to pass needs a “Sen Leibermans Senatorial offices are now the employees mens room just off the loading docks ” amendment with a “if you don’t STFU the Master at Arms is going to wack your little pee-pee with a mallet ” rider.

Canuckledragger January 20, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Andrew Sullivan will not be allowed “back” into Canada, because we already have all the bears we need, and he ain’t even from around these here parts.

Canadian bears can be either prissy or poncey, but not both at once. That Andrew’s strictly Fire Island material….

Bearbloke January 20, 2010 at 6:26 pm

[re=498141]mattbolt[/re]: Not even close, mate – us Bears would hustle Senatorfold Brown over to the ‘ladies bar’ ASAP – maybe he’s got some makeup tips for them…

[re=498183]Holy Cow!![/re]: …and the SF Leather Bears would bind, gag & chain him to a big rock at high tide!

Extemporanus January 20, 2010 at 6:31 pm

Bears only share part of the blame if one uses Fozzy math.

Extemporanus January 20, 2010 at 8:46 pm

[re=498313]Extemporanus[/re]: And that joke is only funny if one uses the correct spelling of “Fozzie”.

Uh, wocka wocka wocka?

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